This has become an annual tradition! I sit down and chat with one of my best friends and meditation teacher Cassandra to get real about what we learned this year. We discuss our shifting relationship with time, diving into our purposes, facing death, the preciousness of the present moment, reclaiming our power, coming face to face with people-pleaser qualities and also not being a people pleaser to the universe. We talk about the ways we’ve given up our power waiting for a “sign” and the importance of free-will. This is a deep yet playful episode that you will really enjoy as we cap off the lessons and move forward with higher vision!
Check out our Greatest Lessons of 2020 episode here: iamsahararose.com/single-post/high…assandra-bodzak/
Connect with Cassandra at cassandrabodzak.com
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Episode 408: The Greatest Spiritual Lessons We Learned in 2021 with Cassandra Bodzak
By Sahara Rose
Namaste, it’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes You, Your Soul’s Highest Evolvement.
I cannot believe it is the end of 2021 and we are going into 2022! This feels so surreal because I feel like we’re still in 2020 in so many ways, however, so much has happened and shifted and grown.
I mean, when I think about the beginning of this year, it feels like seven lifetimes ago! It was when my book “Discover Your Dharma” first came out, and since then I’ve launched Dharma Coaching Institute; we’ve had two classes come through; relaunched Rose Gold Goddesses; and have created and channeled so many things. My first year living in Miami, making new friends, traveling, and in so many ways, we are still in this great unknown.
And so many parts of the world are going back into lockdown and it feels like time has sort of collapsed. In some ways we are quantum leaping and in other, or other areas of the world that might not be in our lives and in our controls, it feels like we’re going around in circles.
So, we have, collectively, gone through such a profound experience in 2021, which we really dive into in this Episode.
One of my best friends, Cassandra Bodzak, who you’ve heard on the Podcast before – this is actually now an annual ritual because last year we did together Greatest Lessons of 2020 episode, and now we wanted to talk about what we learned in 2021. It being a very different year than 2020, I would say a lot more grounded for the collective, however, still definitely very far from normal.
So, in this Episode, we speak about the many lessons learned; some of those including really focusing on our Dharmas and giving up the need to figure out what’s happening in the world around us or only experience peace when the world is feeling peace; the groundedness that happens when sometimes you, kind of, just step into your work and you see yourself propelling your energy and moving forward; coming face to face with people-pleasing tendencies. And also, an interesting concept we talk about, of being a people-pleaser to the Universe and how sometimes, especially as spiritual people, we look for a sign or we give up our power because a psychic told us something or a tarot card reader, whoever else, rather than activating our Free Will.
And we each share, kind of, where we are at in our own spiritual journeys. And, for myself, of really opening up my perspective to not knowing what is true and seeing that truth is so relative and that everyone really chooses their own story. And whatever story you choose, that will be the truth for you.
So, this is a deep and profound Episode, as well as a light and playful one, of two friends talking, and you are the third person in the room. And I’m really curious what your greatest lessons are – share a post on Instagram of your greatest lessons of 2021 and tag me, I would love to read it and I would love to reshare them, because it really takes cultivating that awareness of the little micro and macro lessons that we’ve learned. And when we honor then for what they’ve given us, it allows us to complete that cycle and move forward with greater clarity, alignment and, of course, joy!
So, without further ado, let us welcome Cassandra Bodzak to The Highest Self Podcast.
And before we get started, I am soul excited to announce that doors are opening back up for Rose Gold Goddesses, my Divine Feminine Mystery School.
This is beyond a Mystery School, but this is a community where we gather every single month to dive deep into different spiritual workshops, including some of your favorite Highest Self Podcast guests including Shaman Axel, Bebe, Cassandra Bodzak, Amber Valdez, and so many others, sharing their potent wisdom with you in a closed container that really transforms you from the Mind, Body and Spirit level.
And I’m beyond excited to announce that we are planning an in-person weekend retreat here in Miami exclusively for our Rose Gold Goddesses members.
So, if you love the Podcast and you wish you can connect with people who also listen to it and dive even deeper into the different wisdom and practices that you learned here and actually integrate them into your life? Well, if you’re feeling the call, then Rose Gold Goddesses is for you!
Head over to rosegoldgoddesses.com that link is in my show notes, to join our wait list for when doors open back up just for one week this January, and this is your only chance to join. So, make your New Year a year of ease, flow, joy, expression, intuition and creativity, and channel your highest self with a community of aligned queens in Rose Gold Goddesses. Again, head over to rosegoldgoddesses.com to join our wait list and I’m soul excited to see you inside and hopefully meet you at our in-person retreat in Miami!
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Welcome back Cassandra to The Highest Self Podcast, it’s so great to have you here!
Oh, it’s so lovely to be here!
Our returning guest! And the first question I’d love to ask you is what makes you your highest self?
What makes me my highest self? My meditation practice makes me my highest self, and just connecting back to the truth of who I am, is what helps me show up that way.
So good! So, 2021, a year of lessons, a year of learnings, a year of revelations! I was just thinking on this year and it simultaneously feels like so long, but also, I feel like it was just 2020 and now it’s 2022. How has the time felt for you?
Yeah, no, I agree! I feel like it’s like the Bermuda Triangle of a year, it just kind of like disappeared and went in and went out and at times it was like “Is it ever going to end?”
I actually, I was talking with one of my clients, we were talking about this, where 2021, I think, had this really interesting energy because in 2020 all of us had a collective understanding “This year is a mess”, we all were like “Oh my God, this is just a doozy of a year”, and so I think there was a collective understanding of being really gentle with yourself and kind of, just, everyone’s navigating their own way and trying to figure out this new thing that all of us are jumping into with the pandemic.
And then, 2021, was kind of, like, a sneaky little year in way that, we’d already been through 2020, but in so many ways 2021 was just as funky on a larger collective way.
And so, one of the things that came up in my practice this year, a lot, was remember to have that similar compassion that a lot of us, intuitively, had, in 2020, being like “We’re in unprecedented times; we’re in unchartered territory”, and then it was almost like, the clock struck midnight in 2020; we’re in 2021 everyone was fine, and we’re all supposed to be fine.
And in 2021 it was also really transformative and eventful here and deserves that same – I feel like now, we’re just – we are in unprecedented times, we are in the unchartered territory, that’s just what it is going forward.
So true! I remember we had this conversation last year and we were talking about how, at the beginning of the pandemic, there were two schools of thoughts. And it was like “Take this time to rest. These are really overwhelming times. Nourish yourself. You don’t need to work. You don’t need to be productive. Why are people telling you this? This is the sick capitalistic culture. Just relax right now.”
And then, the other school of thought was like “Take these two weeks or one month or two months, and kept going longer and longer, to get ahead and get your book proposal done and launch the dream business of your life and change everything forever more!” And it was like these two polar extremes.
And it’s interesting to me because it’s like, I think we all thought at the beginning that this lockdown would just be a period of time, two weeks, a month, have a finite date and things will be back to normal, and obviously that’s not the case, this is the “new normal” which has never even existed in the first place.
And I think neither of those sides were totally true. If you’re just like “Oh shit, the world is freaking out right now, so let me hang out at home and take a nap and comfort eat because this is too overwhelming”, guess what, you’d still be doing that right now. But also, if you thought that this was just going to be a little stretch that you could sprint and kind of go past your limits because it’s just for a little bit of time and then you’re going to be ahead and then you’ll be able to calm down, that’s also a lie, because guess what, you might launch the business, now you have to manage the business, now you have to get clients for the business, it never really ends.
And I think what it really has shown us, and I remember at the beginning of 2021, there were these memes of the world on fire with explosions in the sky and this girl hanging out on the beach, and it’s like, me during 2021, unbothered. And it’s really that lesson of “Can you be in your own element, in your own dharma, focusing on what you’re here to do and shift, even when the world feels like it’s going crazy?”, because guess what, it is! And I think so many of us learned how to not let that overpower us and how to stop checking the news and looking at the world outside of us and waiting for peace, for us to feel internal peace, and we’ve sort of made peace in knowing that “I’m never going to know if there’s another variant or if there’s another civil war, whatever’s going on, but I can focus what is in my control.”
So, I think a lot of us, we have faced adversities that we never thought we would’ve imagined if someone told us at the beginning of 2020, two years later, this will still be going on, we wouldn’t have been able to handle it.
And it’s shown us that things that at one point seemed so overwhelming are now just “Meh”, normal for us.
Yeah. We have actually grown and adapted, and our psyche has grown and adapted. And I agree, I think it’s a huge lesson has come – it’s funny because I’m writing something right now and one of the things that I wrote, one of the affirmations, was “My peace is my power. My power is in my peace.” And that’s like what you were saying and that’s what that reminds me of, is that, I always say that, you know, if we’re here, because I don’t know, kind of the surface level argument to that would be like “Oh, well, if you’re just living in your island, how are you taking care of the world?” That’s actually BS because if you allow yourself to get – there’s that saying, I forgot, this is a famous saying, it’s like “You can never be poor not to help the poor”, it’s like no, you can’t get into the chaos to fix the chaos, you have to be the peace to be able to look at things, to be able to be an effective person.
I think that’s something that I learned during my spiritual awakening, was huge because it was having to do with my brother’s health crisis. I knew, intuitively, in that moment, and it was kind of the crappy opening of my spiritual awakening, was that, if I want to be a good sister, if I want to be a helpful family member, I’m going to be someone that can show up and shepherd whatever’s ahead of us in this unknown and uncertain upsetting time, I need my peace, I need my meditation, that’s what brought me to my meditation practice, spirituality. And the world situation right now, that we’re all living through, is exactly that, it’s a massive scale of that. And I think so many more people are awakening to that, that if I want to show up in whatever way I’m called to show up in the world, whether it’s in my personal life or on a bigger scale, I have to be sovereign of that crazy energy, I have to focus on my peace.
And I think we also learned – I remember there was that very divided thinking of what we should all do with our quarantine time. And I think we learned that we’re not, that’s just not, we’re not one-dimensional, as humans. So, it’s never going to be that cut and dry, it’s never going to be that easy, and I think we’re definitely running a marathon, not a sprint here, in life, in general, but even in the context of the pandemic, it’s like “This is a marathon.” And in anything in life, there are going to ebbs and flows and there’s going to be – and that’s where the spiritual path comes in match, where tuning into your intuition comes in. Because there are going to be times when you’re like “Yeah, the thing that I really need to do is gather, I need to be with people I love and I need to take it slow and I need to do things that bring me joy and I need to read or whatever it is”. And then there are other times where you’re like “I’m super inspired and I’m all into the business. I’m going to do this and I’m going to read a book.” And it’s just allowing yourself to trust those ebbs and flows, and just because – I think the hardest thing sometimes is the people around you, if it’s your friends or your family. Just because someone else is in a different season, doesn’t disqualify yours. You get to honor whatever your truth is and then you’ll hit those ebbs and flows anyway.
So true! I love that so much! And yes, I think peace is the greatest flex and that’s the thing. I had this realization and it was like – honestly, it was the end of 2019, but I had so much going on that I’m like “I just want peace! What would bring me peace”, and I feel like that so many of us have had that similar realization that every morning I wake up, I read this poetry book and it’s all about being the peace, I’m like “Yes, this is it!” and I’m like “Okay, now let me watch a million things – oh, but, be the peace!”
But at the same time, so, for me, especially when the pandemic first hit, I really gave up my power in the fact that I was checking the news all the time, I was trying to be on top of political conversations and I burned myself out doing that. So, after 2020, I was like “I’m not throwing myself into the pit or trying to figure out who’s being canceled and why and what can I do to not be canceled?” I am out of the woke culture situation!
And 2022, my saving grace, honestly, was my business because it allowed me to funnel my energy and focus on something else that was actually doing something. And I realized it was almost like, I really just wanted to be of service, I really wanted to help and I thought the way of doing so was to be part of all of these different conversations on the society and politics and this and that, and I have truly realized and saw firsthand, because this year, for me, was a year of a lot of launching. My book came out in January, which feels like a lifetime ago, I can’t believe it’s this year – what! My book came out in January, then I hit the ground running creating Dharma Coaching Institute, then launching Dharma Coaching Institute in March, then revamping everything in Rose Gold Goddesses, changing the branding, changing the structure, launching that in July, then changing all the structure of DCI, relaunching it again in October, and it was just one thing after the next. But this year, it felt good doing that, it felt like this is my haven, this is where I can get creative, this is where I can focus on things, and it made me realize just how important it is to have a purpose, because it’s like, if you can be in a conversation about the state of the world, but then sometimes getting on a Zoom call and just talking about work, feels very grounding and it brings a sense of normalcy and a sense that my energy is actually making a change in things that I’m so grateful that I was putting my energy towards launching; rather putting my energy towards things that I would’ve never seen a reward from. And it also allowed me to see the greatest way that I can change people’s lives is actually by me living my Dharma, not about repeating the exact same conversations that everyone else is having.
And I think a lot of us, especially then, when it came to the mandate conversation, that became another big point of division and I just stayed out of it because again, it’s just like, you’re never going to change someone’s mind. And the fact that your ego thinks you can, is part of the problem, so just focus on your Dharma, you do you and let people make their own decisions.
Yeah. I love that! And I think, I was watching a thing the other day and I was talking about, kind of, the arts and how important the arts were in different times of war and famine and different critical times in history, how people looked to the arts, and that was like, in a way like a medicine for their soul, a way for them to have a different outlet where they could, kind of, escape or ponder what was going on, but in a different way, in a different light. And I see so much of that. I think one of the (I’m glad to see, I think it’s coming back a little bit more), but one of the things I was really sad to see was when it, kind of, felt like the blogger, Instagram, podcast, online audience, or whatever, that was so beautifully diverse with all of these different, you know, someone maybe that loves doing crocheting, another person then zero-waste, another person that’s making macaroons, another person then does pottery – this beautiful, diverse, artsy space where people really just expressing whatever their little thing was – home organization, making their kids baby food. We had this moment where there were these beautiful nichey, artsy things going on. And then I feel like there was almost this pressure and this push in the last couple years to be, like you said, almost, it was like everybody wanted – now, these people, just because they had a massive following doing whatever it was, whether it was woodwork or making their furniture or whatever, to be news anchors. And I felt really strongly about that too, it’s like, people come to you for the medicine that you’re here to deliver and whatever that medicine is.
I mean, think about when we first went into quarantine, everyone was like baking banana bread and doing more cooking and stuff like that. All these people that were like bread-makers and doing things like that all of a sudden, that was like their moment, that was their moment, we needed them in that moment and they brought so much joy into people’s homes through teaching them how to make sourdough bread or whatever it was.
And so, I think it was just also a real example, and I agree with that completely of just putting the gift and the medicine that you’re here to give to the world. It’s not an accident that we all have very diverse talents and dharmas and passions, and we all have different medicine that we get to give that has our own unique spin on it. Yeah, I think that’s really, really important. I think that’s also been why your book and Dharma Coaching Institute has been so big this year and so attractive to people, because I think, more than anything, when we go through these times – and that was one of the things I wrote down for 2021, too, really getting clear on your purpose and what lights you up and what brings you joy is huge at any point.
I personally think I’ve always been a big believer in that, but I think, definitely, when you’re facing adversity, when you’re in these times of, volatile times, and there’s so much fear and there’s so many different things that it’s so easy to get distracted by, to be able to anchor yourself to that, and to feel like you can do something about it.
I definitely agree with that as well. I think, my coaching practice Divinely Design Your Life; I also had a book come out this year, “Manifesting Through Meditation” and so, I was writing “Manifesting Through Meditation” earlier, at the beginning of the year, and that was so anchoring for me; it was so, to really come back and be like “Wow, they are really powerful tools I have, to help people.”
Yeah, I think that was really – I think more and more people are waking up to that now, that having that purpose and allowing that to be. It’s such a grounding force during any volatile times in your life, I found.
Absolutely. And yeah, how each person’s purpose is so needed, and I think the beauty of this pandemic is, we’ve all, collectively, slowed down. I mean, this time is called The Great Resignation because the highest number of people have resigned from their jobs, not because they needed to but because they realized “Oh, I can work from home”, “Oh, I can do something that’s actually in alignment with who I am and what I enjoy”, “Oh, there’s more to me than just going to the office, hitting the workout class, going to Happy Hour, coming home exhausted”, which, so many people were just in that grind, they didn’t know who they were outside of it that, I think everyone’s consciousness actually increased from taking this time to slow down and it also has created this need of “Oh, I actually do want to learn how to water color or make my own pottery.” Especially people doing things for themselves – gardening has been a huge thing this year; just all things DIY.
I think a lor of people realize how dependent we are on these different supply chains, and with the supply chains slowing down, we’re like “Oh, why don’t I make my own shampoo instead of continuingly buying it?”, “Oh, by the way, what was in that toxic shampoo I was buying? Oh, shit! Cancer-produced products! Thank Goddess I can do it myself!” So, I think it’s this beautiful grounding force energy that happened this year.
And totally, I think one of my biggest lessons too, is, you can create so much when you really focus on something.
So, I realized that before, maybe with just the amount of options we had in terms of events and things going on, we were all a bit more scattered, but to really focus on something and give it your all. Like my business is, like my dance practice, I realized how I took strides ahead this year that could’ve taken me years and years to do, simply because I was focused. And I see with so many of my students as well, by them focusing on, not a million things, because I think that the shadow side of this year were us, maybe, signing up for too many courses, too many different projects and not finishing them, but by being in a container of something and how much you can grow with that undivided devotion.
Why do you think – do you think it was just simply the fact – because I think, this year, we’ve gotten, events are coming back in a way, some in person but a lot also just like Zoom events are blossoming as well. Do you think it was just the fact that it’s not as busy as it was in general, before this, or were there a specific thing that you feel like you did differently now, to keep that focus?
I think we’re a lot more aware of how we spend our time, and energetically how we feel in different situations. I’ve had so many conversations with people, like, “Dude, I went to the grocery store and it was frantic in there! How did I used to go all the time?” Well, you can feel the chaos in different places. So, I think, I mean, for better or for worse, I think it’s made us much more of home-buddies that we’re like “I want to be in an environment that feels good to me and that’s of my vibration”, and for most of the people listening to this Podcast, it’s of a higher vibration that we’re like “No, I’m not going to go to some random networking event in case I might meet someone that might help my business, that’s not worth it for me. What’s worth it for me is for me to feel good and to feel comfortable.” And, at the same time, I think one of my other big lessons is also that nothing replaces the human connection, including the metaverse. I mean, I guess we’ve watched a lot of scary movies and the metaverses in all of them, so, guys, watch The Matrix in case you’re wondering how this might go.
But I think it really showed us that, also, nothing replaces human connection, but doing it in much more intentional ways, that feel good the whole time rather than like “I need to sacrifice and feel uncomfortable and feel a little bit like markety to meet people”, I think that error is completely done.
Oh yeah. I definitely, I agree with that on so many aspects. I think, absolutely, we’re all getting more in tune with the energy because we’ve had more time alone, in our own energy, and so it’s making us more aware of how different things make us feel.
And then, I agree with that completely, one of the biggest things that happened for me (and you are a part of this) during all this, was, all my friends moved away. And so many people scattered and went to different places, and, I have a couple friends still here, it’s not like I have no friends here, but a lot of my close friends are on the other side of the country, like you. And I have friends in New York, Miami, Austin, they scattered all over, but one of the cool things I think that has come from that is that now, when we get together, even though maybe it involves us flying to different places or whatnot, we spend more concentrated, more intentional time together, where, I think, if you, before, when things were a little bit more accessible and maybe you were going to events and things like that – I’ve never been someone that really likes those kinds of networking events anyway, so I’m grateful that most of them are gone. But it’s true, it’s like actually getting to spend that time – and one of the cool things has been, for me too, because it has been a little, here in California, it goes in and out of what’s socially acceptable or not, it’s been more acceptable for me to say to people “Hey, why don’t we meet on Zoom for a tea” and while that’s not the same as being face to face, and I definitely love face to face the most, I would prefer to meet someone over a Zoom tea than to meet them in a crowded networking environment, because now I actually get to go deeper with them ,now I actually get to know them and ask them real questions and not feel like I just have to, kind of, do some chatter at a big event where there’s music playing and all these distracting things going on.
I think it’s definitely shifted the way we connect and helped us, really, I think all of us cherish in-person connection way more than ever before.
So true! For us, we both lived in LA and then you moved to OC and you’d come for a day, but now that I live in Miami, it’s like you got to come here and spend a few days in Miami; we’re going to the Bahamas together; we’re hopefully going to go to France together for your wedding soon, can’t wait! And it allows us to be intentional in planning and creating, and experience that we’re going to be – we haven’t had a sleepover all of LA because it was like you had a place and I had a place, so why would we? But now it’s like, if I’m going to see you, I’m going to be seeing you for a few days at a time. So, it’s like, late at night, we’ll have a conversation about this random thing and actually be able to drop in on a deeper level because it’s a longer continuous, basically, retreat. When we hang out we’re like “Time for prep work! Okay, time for journal prompts”, but we get to do that with each other, which is amazing, and I don’t do that with every single person.
Our sleepovers are exactly what people who listen to this, can probably imagine us.
We can sell a [inaudible – 29:08] at a sleepover. We wake up, we’re like “What is your intention for today?” “Okay, time for more morning movement, but first, be sure to put some Mucuna in your tea!” It’s so good!
It is, it is, it is! Pete jokes “Are you going on a little retreat?” I’m like “It’s not a retreat, I’m hanging out with the girls”, he’s like “What you guys do is like a retreat!”
Yes, yes! And I love that, and it’s so five minutes, so intentional and with every person, I think it also showed you who are the people that are willing to plan ahead and to leave their State and to like, when you set a plan ahead, there’s an element of sacrifice with that. And for some friends it’s not going to withstand the distance. In fact, for the majority, or at least for my friends, I’d say most friendships, they don’t withstand the distance because it’s like a relationship, you’ve got to plan ahead, you’ve got to get on calls. We just did a four-week class together, so, even though we weren’t one-on-one hanging out, I got to see you in this class and it provided us with a new experience that we get to talk about.
So, I think, again, 2020 definitely showed us who our friends were, but then 2021 is just a whole new added layer that like, when life starts to pick up again, who are the people who are still willing to go that extra mile for you.
Absolutely! And yeah, I think that one of the other things I think that the piggy-back goes, that friendship element and the purpose and work element.
For me, was, I think, and not take us in, kind of, a different direction, but one of the things that was really impactful for me this year was my grandmother passing away. And my grandma was really, really close to me and she was like a mother to me, and her passing rocked me so deeply, and still, is such a thing that I live with on a regular basis.
But, on a collective basis, so many of us have seen grief. We’ve had loved ones pass – you, with your grandfather passed this year as well. We’ve seen, even had mutual friends who were going through health things at different points, that were pretty scary. And I think, as a collective, whether, in what capacity, whether it was my grandma’s passing wasn’t related to Covid or anything like that, it was a different thing, but you know, it didn’t matter how it came.
I think a lot of us really were touched by mortality, were touched by sickness, and I think what that does, and I’ve always thought that this was such a gift, because, again, it was like – it’s funny, I’m seeing all these connections to my spiritual awakening in 2021 – one of the gifts of my spiritual awakening, when my brother was sick and he’s stable and well now, but at the time, we really didn’t know, he had two life-saving operations (in Boston actually) and one of the gifts of that question of mortality or that worry of mortality, I believe, is that it is a great prioritizer and it helps you get really clear on “What do I want to do with this one wild and precious life I’m given?”
And we both believe in past lives, but it doesn’t matter if you believe in all that other stuff, it’s like, we’re here now, this is our earth incarnation and we’re here for this experience and “What do I want to do with this experience and what do I want to do with the time I have and how do I want to spend it?”
And so, I think that’s been a big lesson of 2021 for me, is really, I want to be a really conscious curator of my days and my energy, and I want to, when I think of how I’m spending my time, how does that impact? And it’s so interesting because, you know, on some days that means, kind of like what you were saying, throwing myself into work. I’ve been doing like a guided spiritual awakening journal right now and I find such great purpose and lit up by that because of, obviously, my own path and how much I would’ve loved that during the day (that time). And at the same time, I’m super stoked for our trip to the Bahamas and I was so excited to go to Miami, and I’ve made a point of visiting each of my girlfriends that have moved away because I also realized that nothing is more important than people and nothing is more important than the people you love. And at the end of the day, the griefs that you will feel, perhaps, one day from not being able to pick up that phone and call that human; from not being able to hop on a Zoom with that human; or not even having the blessing of spending the money to get on a flight to see that human – you’re not going to get that from work.
And, both of us, my Capricorn Moon, my Capricorn Venus, your Capricorn queen over there, I mean, I can work till the cows come home, I love my work! But that was something that was really opening to me and something that I definitely, consciously, brought into – it’s not even been from a conscious “I need to do work-life balance”, because I don’t really believe in that, it’s just been more of like, yeah, that gets to be on the calendar and it’s important that I put those things on the calendar and make the effort to make that stuff a priority because it’s just as much, if not more, important than all the other work stuff I do as well.
And also, that fills up my cup in a different way as well. There’s different ways that we fill ourselves up.
So good! And I’m in total agreement with you! Our dharma and our purpose and that filling of one of our cups, but then our friendships and our relationships, and nothing else can fill up that cup too, and having that balance.
And I think too, what we’re all so looking forward to in 2022 is more in-person time. And I know for me, I’m literally like “Oh, there’s a retreat here? I don’t even know who’s facilitating it, I’m there!” We are all so hungry for just connection and diving deep and eye contact. I can’t wait! I’m in the works of planning different in-person festivals and retreats and stuff, and I can’t wait for that!
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On the topic of death – yeah, this has really been on my mind too. I remember in our last year’s overlooking 2020, we kind of ended the conversation about death, so I don’t want to fully take us there because it’s a long, never-ending rabbit hole.
But for me, a lot what came up was fear around parent dying (for me), specifically for my dad. And you know, my dad is not sick, per say, but he does have poor health in terms of diabetes, high blood pressure, kidney stones, kind of like, all of the first world, when you eat unhealthy, issues, that can later turn into heart disease etc., and heart disease is how his father passed away.
So, for me, what was really showing up was this fear of like “What if he dies and that’s it, and we didn’t have a better relationship, we didn’t have the relationship that I wanted. I don’t even remember have we even really dropped in, ever”, and all of that showing up for me. And I actually got to visit him twice this year and both times were definitely stepping on – the first time, there was still definitely some of my child getting annoyed with him or angry or “Why don’t you take care of your health”, and coming at it with that, but the second time, I really came at it of “Let me just be interested in him as a human, and how does he spend his days?” I’ve never even seen his office, what does he do all day in that office? And really just getting to know who is this human, not as my dad, but as a human, and really kind of biting my tongue when it came to me like “Hey, you shouldn’t drink Coke or you shouldn’t do this”, it’s like, he knows, but that’s his choice. Sometimes when you love someone, you’re like “But I want you to be healthy because I want you to live longer and I want you to live better years in your life”, but if that person doesn’t want it, there’s nothing you can do. All you can do is just love someone and not even love them to change it because even that’s manipulation, just love and accept because you genuinely don’t know how long you have. And it’s a bit – it was sad doing this but while I was with him, I asked him about his life story and I recorded the conversation. And as I was in his office, I took videos because I was like “I don’t know if I’ll see him again.” And that awareness had never come into my mind before this year, and again, I hope he lives 10, 20 more years, he’s in his 70s right now, but I feel like it was a level of maturity of you genuinely don’t know, so don’t hold on to any grudges, just accept them as they are because all of us are going to die.
And what was interesting too, it was almost like, I had more fear around him dying than my own death. I have no fear around me dying, I’m curious, what comes next, which of the stories are real? And then it made me realize, he probably feels that same way about his death.
So, we’re so afraid of other people dying, but really, if we came at it the same as us dying like “Well, there’s nothing I can do, it’s just divine”, we become so much more free.
Oh my God! I have done such a deep dive this year into all things afterlife and it’s so true, it’s so true. And that was one of the – I was meditating when my grandma transitioned and just holding space for her, and one of the downloads that came through was her voice saying “Oh Cass, it’s so beautiful, it’s more beautiful than we even imagined”, and just this feeling of – one of the gifts that she game me for my birthday this year was, I was in this really deep meditation and I was kind of, I’ve been talking to her since she passed, and I was being a little sassy with her, being like “Grandma, it’s my birthday, just because you’re not on earth, I still expect some gifts”, and she knew me better than anyone, and she knew exactly – well, first of all she definitely gave me the gift of my book because on my birthday I got an email where they were like “Yeah, we’re moving forward”, so I was like “Thanks grandma! (she’s a Capricorn)”. And then, also, during meditation that day, I literally felt like I plugged into divine source energy and had this electrifying experience where I was hysterically crying but it wasn’t tears, tears, it was like my whole body was overflowing with divine love and it just, almost, couldn’t contain the vibration, it was so high, and then felt like me grandma kind of holding my hand, touching this sun-like beam or whatever, and I had been fascinated after her passing with different near-death experiences where people report going into the afterlife and what that was like and there’s all different, beautiful examples, but one of the culminating things is this feeling of just full acceptance and overwhelming love and so much divine peace and all of that. And I, now believe, I mean, I always believed, but now I feel like more palpably and tangibly believe more than ever, that that is, and I feel the same way. I know that when my time comes, I know the next adventure is going to be pretty cool too, but the hardest part is, I feel like, being here when someone else is off on that adventure, that you really love, and processing for our human brain and even for myself being someone that’s so spiritual and believes in all of this and is topping and doing all the things, it’s still really hard. And so, I think that that’s great, what you did and I hope more people do that.
I asked my grandma a ton of questions throughout my whole life, as we were very, very close, but one of the stupid things that I didn’t do, right before – her birthday is New Year’s Eve and so, I sent her Christmas gifts and then I sent her, her birthday gifts right after that. And I had gotten her, she loved puzzles, and I had gotten her a bunch of puzzles and then I had gotten her this shirt that I got, it was like a silly Mighty Duck shirt, it was like an inside joke, and then the other thing I got her, the new Kindle or whatever, for Christmas. So, that was just sent and then the other stuff I had to pack and send. And I also collected – every time I traveled anywhere, I would get a magnet for her, so I would collect magnets and I would send it her when I had a little batch. So, I collected that and then I sent her a little necklace, I had sent her a necklace for her birthday (just ordered it online), but I was too busy that week to send the puzzles and my little inside joke shirt. And in my head, I was like “It’s not a big deal, I’ll send it after New Year’s when it’s not that crazy and she won’t care, she’s chill”, and January 4, she was in the hospital and I never got to see her again. And it can happen like that.
And to me that was just, a stupid little thing and I’m not going to beat myself up about it, but it was a lesson, for sure, that don’t take shit for granted! Don’t take it for granted that there’ll be another time. How many times do we say “Oh, I’ll call you next week” or “I’ll see you next week” and I’m so much more attuned to that now in a way where it’s like “No, if you can do the thing now, just do the thing now”, don’t take tomorrow for granted and ask those questions, ask those questions, whatever you want to know about your parents or your grandparents or your friends, or whoever it is. Don’t take any of it for granted! And let people know how you feel about them and create time for people. I think that’s – you think about that, at the end of your day, if we’re going to go there, and you’re on your death bed, whenever that may be, what are you going to think about? You’re going to think about the people, you’re not going to be like “I sent that email two days late”, you’re going to be like “Oh, I remember that.” I’ll never forget the week before my grandma passed, I didn’t send her puzzles. And again, it’s nothing like I’m wearing that as a burden, but we think about those things way more than we think about “Oh, I was supposed to send this brand a video and I sent it to them a week late”, I’m never going to remember that.
So, yeah, I just think it puts things into perspective and it’s also really good, I think, putting into perspective what you want to do with your life, like we said. And joy, Miss, you’re the Ambassador of joy over here, I think it’s also a big reminder that our joy is so important, and doing the things that lights us up.
I think about from a kind of an out-there perspective, maybe, but if we think about it, how precious this incarnation was, that we got chosen to come in at this time and you think about how, as wonderous as the spirit world is, and how we’ll be in full divine love and peace and what not, there are tangible things in this earth reality that are unique to this reality, that we get to experience. And some of those things are gardening or baking bread or painting or hugging a friend or playing with your dog, and those moments matter.
So many things and in full agreement with you. And I think for so many of us, death has been a huge topic on our mind the past two years and it’s interesting because, I don’t know if you watched the new Sex and the City, And Just Like that, show, did you watch that?
I haven’t watched it yet, but I know the spoiler because it’s everywhere.
Okay, it’s everywhere but I’m just going to share it, you can hit pause right now if you don’t want to hear it, but Big dies. And it was so interesting because it was almost like, I’m just using this as an analogy, but Sex and the City is maybe the epitome of, just having fun and being carefree and living the high life, and that’s what the show represented for decades. It was the kind of show you would zone out to and like “Ah, wouldn’t that be nice?” And it’s so interesting that 20 years later, when they finally come back, they come with this new tone, this tone of 2021, of like ‘and death happens’, and just like that, your life radically shifts in one second. And honestly, I get chills even talking about it because it’s true. And it really, that show, it hit me in an interesting way because I grew up really watching Sex and the City and I wish I could live lives like them and then to see them having aged and feeling irrelevant and having health issues and – it really shows that this lifetime is like – you’re walking up to center stage and your childhood years, like, you’re going up the stairs and you’re finally walking up and you have this moment on the stage, and then your life is walking off of the stage and you’re walking off and walking off until just like that, you’re in backstage again and how right now, in this moment, we’re in center stage. This is our right now, we’re in our Sex and the City moment, we’re in our moment of highest energy, a highest creativity. Are we using it?
And just a reminder that, again, yeah, don’t wait don’t wait another year, don’t wait until “I have the security, until I have this”, because guess what, one day you’re going to wake up and you’re not going to have the same momentum and energy and ability to really focus on these things or travel to the places that you want to travel.
Or even friendships, I’ve seen so many people, they’re like “I wish I kept up with my friendships because right now, when I could really use a friend, I don’t even have anyone to call” and to really let this moment – and most people listening to this Podcast are in their 20s, 30s, 40s, you’re super in your center stage moment, do your ballet, bring out your canvas, get messy and let it be vibrant, let it be unique and don’t waste any more time thinking about what other people think about you.
A huge lesson for me this year was, letting go of my inner people-pleaser. And I did not know how active and alive that bitch was. I was like “Me? People-pleaser? No, I’m not!” But I realized it came in the subtle forms of me getting a hater comment and like “What did I do wrong? Why doesn’t this person like me?” Trying to go back and think how can I change rather than like “Oh, this person is probably mentally ill to even write that to a stranger”, or like book reviews, podcast reviews, etc., and taking it to heart. And I think last year, it was the big scary monster cancel culture and that was center stage, and I feel like a lot of us have learned lessons now this year of like “Don’t follow whatever the mob is saying”, “People who cancel someone else are probably going to come after you one day, this is a modern-day witch hunt”. But please, for anyone listening to this, don’t let your energy at all be focused on “How can I get people to like me? How do I not seem like a spiritual freak to other people? Well, I can’t share who I really am because they knew me back in college and they’re going to say I’m a fraud.”
And the number one regret of the death and dying in the book – she was a nurse at an elderly home and she saw thousands of people die, and the number one regret was “I wish I had the courage to live true to who I am.”
Again, we can hear that again and again and again, but it just takes a moment and a realization to see all the micro ways that we are not living in true harmony with who we are, and to let 2022 be that year that, you’re at the end of the year, thinking “I’m so glad I didn’t bring that people-pleasing with me this year.”
Oh yeah! Oh, I think that is so huge and especially important as you’re looking into 2022 and thinking “Okay, well, what do I want to create in this upcoming year? How do I want things to shift? What do I want to be different?” Is how people-pleasing, I also, that was a big lesson for me this year and how it manifested for me was a little bit different. It was more in – doing things sometimes is like a reflex to what I felt other people needed instead of checking in with myself and being like “Okay, yes, so maybe, I think these people need this or they want this, or they’re emailing, asking me to do this thing, launch this course, do this thing”, and so, doing it because I feel like “Oh, well, that’s, people are asking me to do this, what I should do”, and instead, checking in with myself and being like “Is that really going to bring me joy? Is that what I feel is the next frontier for me? Is that where I feel like I’m going?” Because our paths are so unique, and so, there’s always going to be people, it’s the boiling pot of crabs analogy, where – if you put a pot of crabs on the stove in like a baby boiler pot (as you would) and you slowly turn the heat up, there will be some of the crabs that will try to climb up the pot and escape. And the crazy thing is, is that the crabs that are staying in and being boiled, will yank them down and pull them back in the boiling water.
And I feel like – it’s like an example of what happens sometimes is, when you’re on your growth evolutionary path, you’re doing your thing, there are going to people that are going to try to grab you down and pull you back to the person that you were. And so, it’s kind of a natural occurrence, I guess you should say, that’s kind of how things will take, so, don’t be surprised if you’re on your next, if you’re like “I’m on the next leg of my journey, this is the new thing I’m doing right now and this is my latest priority or whatever it is”, if you have other people around your environment that are trying to kind of pull you back to the you of yester-year, and just know that in those moments that’s when it really requires us to be a stand for our joy, to be a stand for our intuition, to trust our path.
And I think that’s been – I had a big ‘Aha’ this year that I’ve had multiple times, it might be interesting because so many of your listeners are very spiritual, where sometimes I would actually make – I would worry about people-pleasing my intuition or people-pleasing the divine. And so, I would almost create ‘shoulds’ around like “Oh, well, I should do that because I feel like if this is happening, maybe my intuition is telling me this, so I should”, so it would be like micromanaging, trying to figure that out.
What’s like an example of that?
So, for instance, it’s like “Should I launch this or should I not launch this?” we can use that example. Or even, actually, I’ll use an even more personal example – having a baby. So, it was like “Should I or shouldn’t I? Or when should I do this or whatever, the whole thing?” but you can also use this for a launch, you can use this for anything. I had both, and the launch in there, very typical. And so, there was like this intuitive thing of like “Okay, I’m trying to decide here, well, this is what I should do. Maybe this is what the next step is, and the looking for the signs and then meditating on it and all this stuff”, and then it hit one day, after a meditation, actually, you just get to choose what you want, and that is the next intuitive step, which is so simple actually. But you know, I don’t know, that was just a trap I guess, I got caught up on my over-spiritualized journey, where I was trying to tap into what’s the sign or is my intuition telling me one thing or am I being directed. At the end of the day, I was like “Oh, no, actually, if I just tune in and ask myself what do I really want, that is the answer because my desires and how that my desires run through me are divine, which is what I teach. And so, if I don’t have a desire to launch that course in that moment, that is divine intuition that I’m not meant to launch that course in that moment, and if I don’t have the desire in that moment, I have a baby in that moment, that is also the divine design that I don’t. And for both of those things, for me, it’s like, the key words are in this moment. And so, for me it’s like “Okay, I will, probably, eventually launch whatever the course was, maybe, and I will eventually, probably, have a kid, and I don’t have to micromanage those things because society or anybody else is trying to tell me that I either need to launch something or I should have a game plan for what I’m going to try to get pregnant or anything like that. I can actually just wait until that desire naturally evokes in me and then trust that that’s it.
So, yeah, that was a big interesting thing for me about how I actually was like, my people-pleasing was kind of getting muddied up in there
I love that and I’ve totally experienced that exact same thing. And it’s almost like a learning lesson that I’ve had, especially doing this Podcast over the past few years, it’s not like the Universe has this very specific plan that it’s trying to send you signals like “No, you’re supposed to follow this plan, it’s not what you want, it’s not what your heart wants, but it’s what I want, so your job is to find my signs”, that’s not how it works. But we read these books and we think and we’re like “Fuck, where is the path? Is it that eagle over there? Is it 11:11? Where is it?” but it’s in your heart. If the Universe really wanted you to do something – you are the Universe, it’s your heart, it’s your intuition, and you have Free Will.
Well, I love this because both of us have husbands or fiancés, or whatever, they’re open to the spiritual context but they’re very earthy, and so, I just, I went to a psychic or whatever, I don’t know, at some point during the year, it was like a thing a friend set me up with or whatever. And the psychic told me to do some things that I really didn’t want to do, I was like “Whatever”, so I went home, I’m telling him “He said this and this and that” and he was like “Well, what do you feel about him?”, I’m like “I kind of hated him, I have to do that?”, and he was like “No, you don’t have to do that1 Why would you do something?”
Because the psychic said!
The psychic said this is my soul’s most expansive path and I’ve got to do, and he was like “Well, don’t you think if it was your soul’s expansive path, that there would be like – there’s a difference between really wanting something and being scared of the pursuit of it? and just not wanting to do the thing?”
Totally! I got the palm reading session recently because I just saw a palm reader on TikTok, I’m like “You know what, I have not done that before, so let me send a picture of my palm for like $170 and see what’s in store for me”. Some of the things she – he was like “You’re intelligent”, I’m like “Yes! Bang on!”, and it’s like “You’re going to have an affair or if not, you’ve had one”, I’m like “No!” But imagine if you were an impressionable person and you’re like “Fuck the palm reader, said that I’m going to have an affair”. So, I guess it’s time for it to go down, I can’t let the palm reader down, the Universe sent them to me.
And those are the ways that we totally give up our power, and that’s not what actual spirituality is. We think, in the old paradigm spirituality or psychics and palm readers and just your tarot card, and I think yeah, there probably are, and I know there are some great intuitives, tarot card readers etc., but it’s about listening to your own heart. And the huge lesson I’ve had is like “Whatever story you tell is going to be true for you”. You can tell whatever story you want – spiritual stories, your mindset stories, everything, and that will be true.
In fact, this year, I feel less certain about everything, spiritually, than ever before because I’m more open to, and that might be true for you, and I don’t know because what’s true for me is constantly evolving. Like, for example, one question I had was like “Does everything happen for a reason? Or does it happen and we give it a reason?” Because there are some things that happened this year that I definitely didn’t want it to happen and yeah, I could definitely find lessons that I’ve learned from it, but it’s definitely still not what I wanted to happen, so it’s like “Well then, was that meant to happen? I should’ve just gone with it even though my heart didn’t want it?” or is it like “Things happen in life and it’s up to what you take of it?” And again, I think it’s circumstantial, but above that all, is, if you say it’s true for you, that’s what’s going to show up because this world really is a hologram and it really is a mirror, so as your beliefs shift, then your reality and response to those beliefs shift as well.
Oh, absolutely! and that was actually a really prevalent theme with just the final eclipse season of 2021, was when they had that Sag eclipse, and Sag and Mercury kind of tying a bow on the end of this year (perfectly, that you brought that up) was allowing us to say “Hey, look back on the past year”, it was actually 18 months (look back on the past 18 months) and decide what’s the story you’re going to tell, what’s the meaning that you’re going to make of this in a way that empowers your next evolution in a way that empowers you moving forward. And I think that that is such a powerful – in life, there are going to be things that happen and in a way it’s like, it almost doesn’t matter if it was meant to be or not meant to be because it happened, right? So, it’s like “Okay, it happened”, and so, the first step is acceptance, whatever’s going down is going down, and then, from that moment, trusting, again, that you’re well-resourced enough to make the next right move.
And I really believe, more than ever, that like is a ‘choose your own adventure game’ and this year, I do think, that so many of us saw splitting timelines. And so, what that means is not – I think, sometimes I use those languaging, people think that you see an elevator of light in the sky, or something like that, and no, what it really is, is you just kind of see different paths your life could take. And I think a lot of us had many moments this year of being like, we had certain things come up, or certain choices, or what not, but it was like “Okay, here’s one of those moments where I could go this way and life will go this way, or I could go this way and life will go this way”, and that choice is going to change on some level, my life, but fundamentally, I can’t make a wrong choice because there is no wrong choice, there’s just different choices, and it’s just what do you want to do with this precious incarnation and how do you – what’s the adventure that you choose to go on?
I’ve been, for years, because my brother grew up playing video games and I was forced to play video games with him when it was him turn to pick the game, I was like “Forget even The Matrix, life is like one of those video games.”
I remember playing Zelda with my brother and you’d go into some magical fairy forest or whatever, and it’d be like “You’re in the magical fairy forest, go to the left, to the blue lagoon and navigate this’ or “Head to the right to the purple pansy forest”, whatever, and that’s life. And in those moments, that’s where we have to trust our heart, we have to trust our desires and we also just have to, whatever we do, we do, and we make it mean the most empowering thing possible.
I love that so much! Yeah, it’s like, stop waiting for a sign and just choose your direction!
And often times, the fastest thing – one of my clients this year, and I’ve had a lot of clients that are kind of becoming different kinds of Coaches and stuff like that, and they always go through that phase of like “I don’t know exactly what kind of Coach I should be or what my specialty or niche, or whatever”, and it’s just such a perfect example of that, where I’m always just like “It doesn’t matter, pick one and wing it”, because either you’ll pick one, you’ll wing it, you’ll love it, it’ll go well or you’ll pick one, you’ll wing it, you’ll discover you don’t like it, it won’t go well, and great, you’re that much closer to picking the one that you do want. And that decision will inform and sometimes just taking action is the best way to get clarity. And so, you know, sometimes you take action and you’re like “Okay, yeah, hmm, maybe that wasn’t – actually, I’m not really liking the purple pansy forest right now”, well, great, that’s great information, and maybe you needed to take that action so that you could say “You know what, I really do want to go to that other, whatever, that blue lagoon is, or what not, but now I know what this is.” And that’s actually a great place to be, it’s like thinking of – I think of all the different kinds of guys I dated before I met my fiancé, and it’s like, it’s was so helpful and discerning what I wanted, even the ones that were awful or whatever, just not fun.
And so, yeah, I think it’s – Victor Franco wrote that book “Man’s Search for Meaning”, I think a really important book and a great book for this year, and reflecting on. I think that’s a great practice for anyone listening, if you haven’t already done it with the Sag eclipse, is, write down some of the big things that happened this year, some of the landmark events for you to just, this should be a thing where you have to scratch your brain, just whatever’s top of mind or the most important events, and ask yourself “What is the meaning I’m going to make about that? What’s the story I’m going to tell about that and how that takes me to the next step forward.”
I think that’s where we create our reality and there is some power in saying there is some spiritual schools of thought that will say – let’s say you have a test, I don’t personally believe in tests, but if you decide that “Okay, I was tempted by this guy that was not the guy that’s in alignment with the ultimate partner I want, and I saw it and I said no to him, I said no thank you because I’m in alignment with the partner I want.” Now, I may not necessarily believe that the Universe works that way, that the Universe is out there trying to test you or anything like that, but that could be a really empowering story to choose because what you’re saying is “Me, rejecting that guy, the meaning I’m going to attach to that is, I’m worthy, I’m ready, I know what I want”, and isn’t that like a rocket launch me to be able to give that instance?
Whereas, someone else looking at that could be like “Oh, I’m going to make this mean I’m attracting the wrong guy again”, completely disempowering meaning that leads you in the wrong direction.
So true! There’s infinite numbers of stories we can share and as long as it’s empowering us, go for it! It’s basically what every religion is, it’s like “If it’s working for you, it’s bringing you joy, keep doing it, don’t do a crusade on someone and we’re good!”
Don’t harm anyone!
I think that – yeah, for some people the Universe is testing me “Did I pass the test”, that feels empowering for them. For me, it just doesn’t feel accurate, that, why would the Universe be testing me? Is it like “Haha bitch, I’m going to get you!” “God yeah! Send me the wrong dude, you fell for this one, you ain’t good enough!” that doesn’t feel in alignment for me.
For me, it just feels, honestly, it has to do with Free Will. I really believe that sometimes what happens is, when we go on a spiritual journey, we’re like “Everything is connected and where is my destiny going and it must be a sign”, and people who go into spirituality are master storytellers, we really are, myself, yourself, included. And I think that, what happens sometimes is like, we forget that we have free will at any single moment and the beauty of that Free Will is, you can’t fuck it up because no matter which – as long as you’re getting that feedback and you’re getting that “Oh, I tried to become a Health Coach, oh I realized that I didn’t want to just talk about nutrition, I wanted to go deeper with people, now I’m wanting to become a Life Coach. Okay, I did the Life Coaching, now I’m getting the feedback, I want to write a book!” You wouldn’t learn without that feedback, it’s like, we, and I think one of the faults of our more millennial society is like, we have seen success at such a young age, people being successful, 24-year-old millionaire travel bloggers etc., that we’re like “I don’t want to waste any time, I don’t want to sign up for a thing and it not be the thing, so I need to wait until I make the move that’s like the thing for me and that’s it.” That’s not the way that life works and that’s not the way that anyone, who you might be looking at, has gotten to where they are and is continuing to go, and it’s through that playing ping-pong and dominos, and going this way and that way, that’s how you get that refinement that it really takes.
So, trusting that as long as you are in momentum, as long as you’re taking action. And there is an element of intuition and stillness that is needed in that as well. Like, for example, I’ll share, I’m very interested in sexuality and womb work and all of these things, and this past year I did this womb apprenticeship and this year I wanted to sign up for this year long course, but when I really tuned into “How do I want to spend my free time?” I don’t have infinite free time, I have a lot of work, so in that free time, do I want to be spending it watching more videos and learning more things or do I want to be spending it dancing? And I realized, I actually want to be spending it dancing, to be honest, because that’s what’s actually going to bring me more joy, but it was in my mind, thinking, I always need to be like taking a course and going in, and that served me for a period of time but it’s like, where I am right now and what my priority is right now, are my work and play, that’s what I want to do.
So, I think that beauty in that, taking a pause, coming into alignment and taking action, where so many people are just stagnant, they’re not coming into alignment and they’re not taking action, or they’re waiting for God to come through and be like “You should sign up for this course. Goodbye!” This is not what’s going to happen, God doesn’t care, God wants you to be living your fullest truth and you can do it however you want.
Absolutely! And then God coming through is your inclination, is your interest in it, right? If it sparks some joy in you and you’re like “Oh, wow, that course sounds fun, that course feels good”, then that is your message from God being “Change the goal” and it is in that moment, also, having that discernment of like “Okay, if I think about this choice in a vacuum and I take out any shoulds or what I should be doing with my time or what I should be investing in, or whatever, and I just get back to my heart and my soul and ask “Okay, well, what do I like spending my free time doing?” And at every stage in your life, it’s going to be a different answer, right? So, just continually checking in and honoring that, and trusting, again, you couldn’t make the wrong choice if you’re taking that moment to get into alignment and then just check in and be like “No, that’s…” and I think about that, even if you look back and you’re like “Wow, I chose to spend that time dancing instead of taking that course”, and maybe a year later you’re like “I want to take that course”, it would make no sense to look back and be like “Well, I regret that I didn’t just take this a year ago”, because a year ago, it’s not what you wanted, a year ago you wanted to dance. And so, you gave yourself what you wanted a year ago and that was necessary, and then now, you’re doing that thing, because now it’s the time for it, right? And so, just honoring that.
A lot of stay-at-home moms, they’re home with their kids, and then they get back into the work force, they’re trying to start a business after their kids are a little bit older, they’ll have mixed feelings about that like “Oh, I missed out on all these years”, you didn’t miss out on anything, you chose to spend those years with your children, you chose to spend those years in that way and making that your priority, and that was what your heart desired in those moments. And now, you get to choose again and be like “Okay, my children are a little bit older, so now I get to do this”, and we get to just honor the choices that we made. I think that’s such a beautiful part of the spiritual journey too, that I worked on this year a lot in some of my deep healing work that I’ve been doing is going back to decisions I made when I was much, much younger, like when I was 10, 13, 15, these little decisions I made along the way, that on some level I could’ve judged like “Oh, I should’ve done that when I was 15, why didn’t I just do that? That would’ve made my life easier now, I’d be even more successful now”, or whatever, but it’s like no, I have to have love for my 13-year-old self that did what she thought was best for her in that moment, that’s what she was needed, who am I to say that that wasn’t the right thing?
I love that so much! And yeah, I’ve been looking at, even like, older pictures of myself and we really shift, even in how we look, so we’re like – I was like, we’re the same soul but a totally different version of it at those stages of my life, that in some places I look at myself and I’m like “Wow, it’s almost like unrecognizable!” So, it’s like, how were we – we were there. That person was there and that person was making the decisions and like five years from now, we’re going to look back this video and be like “Oh my Goddess, we’re so cute, we’re such cute little munchkins, we didn’t know about the meta-universe coming, there was a second variation!”
Before I became half a robot!
Exactly! Now we’re full-time avatars and we thought it was so fun to be human! Who knows! Maybe we’ll just be like off grid like “Remember when we had internet? That was cool!”
We’ll either be living in a forest off the coast of whatever with our own little civilization.
We had it so easily, we didn’t have to farm for all of our food for four hours a day; we had lights. but that’s the beauty of it.
Or we’re leading the brigade in The Matrix.
Exactly, who knows! I mean, I could’ve never predicted the way my life would be today, five years ago, so, it’s such a beauty to like – yeah, to just be on the moment. And I think, too, with the quarantine and pandemic, whatever it’s even called at this point, has done, is we don’t plan too far ahead anymore. Before, everyone would be like, okay, mapping out the whole year and the strategy, Q1, Q4, no one’s doing that anymore because we’re like “Meh, who knows?!” There’s no point playing anything on the calendar because it just might change. and there’s a beauty in this collective living in the present moment.
Absolutely! And I think that’s a great place to kind of wrap up as people are thinking about, when they move into 2022 and wrapping up their year of 2021, I think that the biggest question to ask is not necessarily what you want to do in 2022 but who do you want to be, how do you want to show up as, what are you committed to experiencing in your vibration and emotional life and how you approach every day? Instead of it being like “Oh, I need to check these milestones off this list”, like so many of us do every year, it’s like “Okay, well, if I end up showing up as my highest self, if I end up doing those things to get me into alignment, if I end up prioritizing my joy, if I end up prioritizing my purpose and my relationships, those things, if they’re in your highest good, will naturally happen, and often faster than you could have if you were just trying to work at it like a little worker bee, because when you’re in alignment with all that stuff, then you will just end up putting in the time, you will just end up wanting to do that, you’ll make the highest decisions because you’re prioritizing that.
So good! So true! Wow, so many lessons learned! We could talk about this forever but thank you so much for being here today, for sharing your wisdom, for sharing your gifts, for being part of this conversation. And where can listeners connect with you further?
Yeah! You can find me on Instagram @cassandrabodzak, Facebook Cassandra Bodzak, YouTube, same thing; my book is “Manifesting Through Meditation”. If you have any spiritual girlfriends in your life, mine and Sahara’s books, I think, would be a great, jam-packed, little gift for them, they can discover their dharma and then manifest it though meditation.
What more could you…
I mean, what more could you want in 2022? Thanks for having me on! I love doing this and I think it’s such a great practice.
Thank you, guys, who are listening, for doing it with us and we encourage you to start up this conversation in your friendships as well, to just have a conversation about what did we learn this year, what are our lessons, before going into 2022. It’s a really beautiful way to close out this year.
Thank you again for being here with us today!
[1:19:35] End of Interview
So many lessons! We could keep going forever! I’m sure you have so many lessons too! So, share with me on Instagram, write a post of your greatest lessons of 2021, tag me in the captions so I can read it, so I can learn from your lessons and share them with the community.
We have so much wisdom, collectively, that we get to disperse, that is what we used to do when we live in tribes. People would share their lessons around the fire, and that is how the elders would pass along that wisdom, that nuance, that only really time gives you, to the younger generation, and that’s how they cultivated greater growth.
So, let us sit around the figurative fire and share our lessons!
And I’m also super excited that I am planning an in-person retreat for the Rose Gold Goddess community and doors are going to be opening back up at the end of January.
So, if you want to spend a full day diving deep into spirituality, embodying your highest self, shamanic rituals, practices, ecstatic dance, twerking, all of it, then this is your chance. And also, to be part of an annual community where every single month we’re diving into a new spiritual topic.
We have teachers like Cassandra, Shaman Axel and so many others teaching us very significant and deep spiritual workshops that totally transform your life, from Human Design to activating your wild woman, to rituals, to planning the rest of your year and so much more. So, head over to rosegoldgoddesses.com that link is in my show notes, rosegoldgoddesses.com to join the wait list for when doors open at the end of January.
Thank you so much for tuning in and I’ll see you on the next one! Namaste!
Episode 408: The Greatest Spiritual Lessons We Learned in 2021 with Cassandra Bodzak
By Sahara Rose