You know that uncomfortable feeling when a friendship, career/ niche or home is just NOT an energetic match anymore? Yeah it’s time to up-level! In this episode, I share some key signs you’ve spiritually outgrown these things so you can release them and make space for what is best serving you. Lemme upgrade U!
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Episode 438: How To Know If You’re Spiritually Outgrowing Friendships, Careers and Homes with Sahara Rose
By Sahara Rose
Namaste, it’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes You, Your Soul’s Highest Evolvement.
I really wanted to an Episode just about spiritually outgrowing your friends, your home, your relationships, your career, because, right now, so many of us are on an upleveling soul journey. So, every single facet of our lives is being invited to uplevel, to ascend, to become even higher, and that comes with letting go of the things that do not serve us.
So, first of all, how do we know if we are upleveling? So, the biggest way that I can tell that I’m upleveling is that, remaining how I used to be is feeling very uncomfortable.
So, maybe I used to drink coffee every single morning, and that was just my routine, for example, that actually was my routine for like 2 years, it kind of started when the pandemic started. I don’t know why, I just got into drinking coffee and it was just my thing. But then, suddenly, a few months ago, I was feeling really, really acidic with the coffee and it was just making me not feel well and making me feel just, sort of, anxious and on edge, and I was just trying different coffees, and what had happened was, I just outgrew it, it wasn’t in alignment with my soul path anymore. It had its purpose and my journey activated me for a period of time, and maybe it gave me that extra jolts that I needed when we were spending more time at home, but, right now, with doing more intensive workouts and being so fully in alignment with my Dharma, and so busy with that, that, maybe, just the caffeine was just not needed anymore in that way. So, I had spiritually outgrown the coffee and I’ve shifted to Matcha, and I’m just so happy with it! Matcha homemade hemp milk with some shilajit, that is the move right there!
So, that’s just an example of it, but we can really, spiritually, outgrow so many things. So, what it could look like in a friendship is, maybe you’ve been friends with someone for a few years now, or maybe since you guys were children, and the conversations may feel a little bit stagnant, maybe your friendship is all about talking about the past and memories from before, and it, kind of, doesn’t feel like you have anything new to talk about; maybe you don’t really have that much in common. And truthfully, if you were to meet this person today, you, likely, would not be friends.
Now, with that, does that mean we have to drop everyone that’s not on a spiritual journey? No, not at all, you can still totally have friends from your childhood, but if there’s a feeling of it feeling stagnant, it feeling stuck in the past, it feeling like it’s actually dragging you down, then that may mean that you have spiritually outgrown it. And I am really in the practice of noticing how I feel after anything. So, how I feel after a conversation with someone, how I feel after foods that I eat, practices that I do, work, etc., and this was really imperative for me because I’m someone who can often lose myself in conversations, or want to be there for people, or just drop everything I’m doing to respond to other people’s problems and fix their problems. And I know if you’re an empath, highly sensitive person, you may relate to this, and then I would notice that, after a lot of different social interactions, I would feel really, really drained, and it was because I was creating relationships where I was their coach in every single way. And in a way, I found validation in that, like “Oh, I’m important when I’m helping other people with their problems; people will like me this way”, but once I had realized that I’m inherently worthy, even without fixing other people’s problems, I had spiritually outgrown those friendships.
So, maybe you’re finding yourself feeling really drained, or realizing you’re out for coffee with someone and they just talked about themselves the whole time and never asked about you, or you just feel really heavy and you can’t even understand why, or maybe this person just has a strong energy of stress, they’re in survival and they nitpick little fights with you about money or they just overreact to things, and you just feel on edge when you’re around them, then this is a sign that you have spiritually outgrown them. And this does not mean that they are wrong or bad or that they’re even a toxic person, I think we’re all so quick to label people and judge them as toxic, when they’re just not the right fit for us anymore. Some people just may not be the right fit for you at this time, that doesn’t mean that they may not later on. Sometimes we weave in and out of people’s lives, and sometimes we go our separate ways, but I think it’s important to not label them as toxic or a narcissistic or whatever the thing is, and just, look, maybe they actually were those things, but what you know for yourself is that they served their role in your life and maybe the role that they played was to make you stronger and to make you have better boundaries, and to allow you to speak your truth.
Another big giveaway that you have spiritually outgrown someone is, if they don’t receive you speaking your truth. So, if you speak your truth with someone and they shut you down or they put up a wall or they, kind of, flip it around and make you wrong, then that’s a sign that they are not open and receptive to truly being in relationship and friendship. And it’s so important for us to have really great communication with people around us because that is what allows energy to flow back and forth. And if it’s feeling like you can’t be your full self or you’re just not in alignment – you know, I’ve definitely been in situations where I didn’t speak my truth because I just knew that that person wouldn’t be able to handle it, well, that means that I’m not in a relationship that’s really honoring me.
So, if you’re feeling that, then that’s a sign that you’ve spiritually outgrown someone.
Another big sign that I’ve noticed too is, someone making life choices that just don’t align with you. Now, before I get into this, this does not mean that we have to choose exactly the same as those around us, at all, everyone’s going to make choices that we wouldn’t make, we’re not the same people, we don’t have the same backgrounds and experiences, but what that means is – you know, especially when it comes to friendships, that really is a choice. Friendships are an elective and if you’re investing your time into a friendship with someone, it does matter, the energy, it’s not like your family, that you’re bonded for life. And if someone is continually making choices that you feel like are negatively impacting you, or are speaking into the consciousness of that person, you don’t have to have them in your life. And I think that that’s a really important thing, especially for us, again, women, caretakers, we, sometimes, hold onto people for a really long time because we feel bad to abandon them.
And yes, I’m not saying drop your friends if they make one decision that you don’t like and then it’s over, but what I’m saying is, let’s say your friend makes a decision to start drinking again, and you know they’ve had a drinking problem, maybe you feel called to support them until a period of time and then if they’re not listening, that is their choice, and it’s also your choice whether they’re going to be in your life or not. And I think it’s very important for us to have that discernment of where we can actually support people and where we actually end up losing ourselves, and not supporting ourselves by trying to fix someone that doesn’t even want the help. And in fact, it can sometimes backfire.
And in life, our lives are really defined by the choices that we make. Every single night, I always say I’m so grateful for my choices because they brought me here. And if someone is continually making choices that just don’t align with you, don’t align with your lifestyle, your beliefs, your values, then that’s just a sign that that person may not be right for your life. Because, again, there are so many people out there, and you may find people who do value the same types of things that you do, that do carry similar, maybe, spiritual beliefs that you carry, and sometimes we get into the scarcity mindset around friends of like “Well, I’ve known this person and it’s really hard to make friends, and it was really hard to meet this person, so if I drop them, then I’m not going to have any friends”. And truthfully, I have been in periods of my life that I had, basically, no friends. Like when I first moved to LA, I had no friends, but I would’ve rather had no friends than been friends with people who were making choices that I wouldn’t want to be around, whether those choices were them going out partying all the time, or living off their families and never living their Dharmas, or whatever it is, I would rather be alone and have that time and invest it into my education and self-care, and dharmic journey. And when I say dharmic journey, my soul purpose journey, rather than investing it into friendships where I just don’t feel aligned with those people.
So, I know how tough that can be, and it doesn’t make you a bad person to take your space. Just like people – sometimes too, we’ve noticed if someone doesn’t reply to our texts, it doesn’t make us wrong, it doesn’t make us toxic, maybe that person needs their space, maybe that person doesn’t have the capacity for friendships anymore. And it’s also important for us to not take it personally when it happens to us as well.
So, friendships are a really big one, I feel, because friendships are constantly weaving in and out. And especially when you are on a spiritual upleveling journey and you are transforming so much every single year and understanding more and more facets of yourself, it can feel really hard to find those aligned friends. So, that’s why I created my community, Rose Gold Goddesses, which has over 1000 spiritual, heart-centered, dancing queens in there, so if you’re in alignment with this Podcast, I can guarantee you, you can find some of your best friends, business partners, soul fam in Rose Gold Goddesses. So, head over to rosegoldgoddesses.com to join our wait-list for when doors open back up. And we’re actually having an in-person retreat in Miami, which I’m so excited to bring us all together in person so we can really feel into each other’s energies and open up the invitations for more relationships that serve us for where we’re at in this stage in our lives.
Now, spiritually outgrowing careers, this is another really big one. So, maybe you had a career, a job, a project, that really served you for a period of time, and this could be an actual job, or it even could be something that you spoke about, a niche that you have, and maybe for a period of time that felt exciting, you can remember the excitement you had when you got that job, or when you started to talk about that thing, or you launched that business, and it was super juicy, super inspiring, and you had the energy for it, and maybe you had it for several months or years, and now, you may feel resentful for it, you may feel bored with it, you may feel like it’s just a former version of you, but you don’t know what to do next.
So, what ends up happening is that career ends up feeling heavier and heavier and heavier. So, maybe before some task that you used to do, like, we’re in a problem, and right now you’re feeling really resentful for having to do them; or conversations that you have in your business, before, you really loved them and now you’re like “Argh, I feel like I could be doing a lot more than this” or “I feel like I’m not utilizing my gifts” or “I feel like I’m not in alignment with my Dharma here”. And that’s just a sign that you’ve spiritually outgrown it. And that’s a beautiful thing, you know, no one role, job or business is going to be for us forever, we are eternally-shifting beings and it’s so important to give ourselves that space to really allow our new gifts to come through. And with those new gifts, it actually will make you better at certain jobs, and roles and responsibilities, because this is what the new version of you is.
So, for example, with myself, as an entrepreneur, this even plays in. So, I started my business really focused on food, nutrition, healthy recipes. I went to cooking school, I was sharing all food-related things, my Instagram was Eat Feel Fresh and finally, after years of doing this, I was like “I don’t want to talk about food anymore. I don’t want to spend hours making a recipe and then taking pictures of it”, and I became resentful for it, I’m like “What is the point of this? Why is there so much focus on food? Food is not the end goal, health is not the end goal. The purpose of health is for you to use that health to live your purpose and to go beyond worrying about your health”. And once I had that awakening, it was hard for me to go back to just talk about health and what to eat, and what’s good for you.
And my next work really transitioned into Ayurveda, which felt like the next step, where there was some nutrition, but it was also beyond, it had to do with the mind body connection, spirituality, and you know, I wrote multiple books about Ayurveda (“Eat Right for Your Mind-Body Type”, “Idiot’s Guide to Ayurveda”, “Eat Feel Fresh”), created multiple courses with Mind Body Green, recorded tons of podcasts, so much content, and inspired hundreds of thousands of people to discover Ayurveda, and it’s been a huge soul mission and calling, and contract of mine. And after, you know, 7 years of doing this, I was just like “Oh my God, if someone asks me what a Dosha is again, I’m just going to jump off of this balcony, because I can’t”, some people can talk about the same thing every single day, for the rest of their lives, and that’s just not me, I want to talk about more. I want to talk about spirituality, and past lives, and the divine feminine, and why we’re here, and just have these conversations that aren’t me teaching something that has already existed before, but really diving into my own thoughts and channeling, and opening up to the unknown. And that’s why I created The Highest Self Podcast, because I just wanted a space to be able to talk about these things. I never ever thought that this would be a big part of my career, I just thought it would be an outlet for me to talk about something else besides Ayurveda.
And here we are, and now The Highest Self Podcast is the biggest part of my career, and I the main way, I believe, that people know about me, I would say, maybe besides my books. And what I’ve loved about the Podcast is, it allows me to continue to have different spiritual conversations that I love, and there are certain phases of my life that I’m more interested in Dharma, and other stages that I’m more interested in sacred sexuality, and other times that I’m more interested in past lives, or whatever it is, and allows me that space to continue to be true to who I am at this moment of time.
So, I say this because even as someone who’s living your Dharma, it can also shift for you, and you also may reach this point that you feel that your soul contract with something is complete, and you’ve, in a way, spiritually outgrown that thing. Not that you’re better than, it’s just there are probably other people out there who are more excited to talk about nutrition than you are, or more excited to teach about the Doshas than you are, or more excited to teach about whatever the thing is that you might be doing right now, than you are.
So, it’s allowing ourselves that space to continually evolve and shift, and that makes our work actually be higher, come from a more Integris place, because it is exciting for us, it’s what we want to be doing, not what we have to do.
And that old paradigm really is about, okay, if you’re a carpenter, you’re a carpenter for the rest of your life, that’s just what you’re doing; or you are teaching about Ayurveda, that’s just what you do for the rest of your life, and with this new paradigm, it allows us so much more space to evolve, or really dropping that judgment when we see people evolve.
I feel like, even, 5 years ago, when someone would pivot, it was like a big deal. Like, if an influencer was like “Hey guys, I need to share something that’s been on my heart, I’m pivoting. Instead of fashion, I’m going to talk about travel. I’m sorry if you hate me now, I’m sorry if I’ve been a complete failure in your eyes, I just can’t talk about fashion anymore, I need to talk about travel”, and we’re like “No, you suck, you’re canceled!” So, it’s like, why was that such a fucking big deal? That person was just creating free content from their heart. Let them be who they are!
And I’m seeing, finally, as a collective, we are being more okay that people don’t need to explain themselves so much when they’re pivoting, it doesn’t need to be that big of a deal, we’re able to accept people as whole humans and not just brands that only talk about one thing at one time and that’s all they can, forever, be known for, because that limits us, that limits our human experience.
And you know, that same person who talks about food, also is in a relationship, and also travels, and also has a spiritual practice, and also XYZ, the list goes on. And we can talk about more than just one thing.
So, whether it’s in your career, you’re outgrowing whatever your role is, or whether it’s what you share about online – if it’s feeling like an old version of you, if it’s feeling like “Argh, I can’t believe I’m doing this dance again and again and again, I know that there’s something more out there for me”, well, that’s because there is. And there are other people right now who would be so excited to share about the things that you’re talking about right now. So, pass the torch and open up your hands to receive what Source wants to gift you next.
So, spiritually outgrowing so many things; spiritually outgrowing home – Oh, this was a big one for me, especially at the beginning of the pandemic, with moving.
So, our homes are energetic containers for us, they are beyond just where we sleep, but especially now, with us spending so much more time at home, they really are a container for our spiritual growth.
So, what I find is that, as we evolve and expand, our energy also expands, so, I see it as your auric field around you. And as you really expand as a person, it’s almost like your auric field expands with it, and it actually just can’t fit, per say, in places that it used to be.
Now, that doesn’t mean that your home has to physically be bigger and bigger and bigger, but it means it needs to be able to fit your energy of today.
So, for example, in my own journey, I started with a small apartment and that apartment served me at a period of time, and I actually have found that I’ve written one book in each place that I’ve lived, it’s almost like I write that book and I channel it, and then, for whatever reason, Source kicks me out of that home.
So, one time, I had a whole bedbug situation, the entire building had bedbugs, it was horrific, so Source just kicked me out of that home. Another time, they were just like “Okay, your lease is up and we’re not renewing it, you’ve got to leave. Bye.” And then, this last time, the world shut down and we’re like “Let’s get out of California”, and now I’m here, in Miami, which I never would’ve thought. So, it’s almost like, if we don’t take that initiative to move and uplevel, and we feel called, sometimes Spirit will actually just kick us out.
So, if you’re finding that your lease is ending, or there’s a mold situation, or whatever the thing is that’s kicking you out of your home, that just means you’ve spiritually outgrown it, you’re out-leveled it, and your energy is needed somewhere else.
I will also say that different homes carry different energies. So, when you are, like, in a cabin in the woods, that is the energy of being really introspective and writing with the candlelight and being on your own, your independence, your inner journey. So, you’re probably not going to be in the mood to be on camera and socialize with a bunch of people and be super bubbly when you’re at home in the middle of the woods, you might be if you’re naturally a hyper that person, but naturally, you’re going to fit the energy of the home, so you just may feel more like the house in the woods.
For myself, I always end up on high-rises on high floors, it naturally helps me see things from a higher perspective. Also, in my Human Design, I’m actually Mountains A, which is all about being in a city, but in a higher perspective in it.
So, it’s interesting how sometimes that can align, and if you’re interested in learning more about your environment type in Human Design, if you go on different Human Design websites, like myhumandesign.com you can actually see your environment there, based on your Human Design chart.
So, what is the energy of your home? Is it – you know, a friend of mine, she lives in this beautiful red woods cabin, and for her it feels really grounding and earthy. For me, I’m surrounded by the ocean, the expansive ocean, in a high-rise, so I’m always creating and feeling like I’m sailing the ship forwards and I’m moving to higher dimensions, and it’s a very Atlantian energy here, especially because Atlantis actually was in these waters here. Or maybe you are in this really funky, eclectic place and it brings out your artistry. You know, even the colors we decorate our place with, the art that we have, the plants that we have, this all creates the environment from which we are creating from.
So, maybe you were really into the greys and blacks or neutrals, and now you’re feeling like you want a little bit more joy in your life so you add in more pops of color.
I know, for myself, I had neutrals with black and white, kind of African print for a while, and now I’m really into the colors, the retro, the 70s vibe, and that’s just what my energy needs at this time.
So, I highly recommend things like pillow colors that you can easily change, posters that you can easily change, so you can continue to update them with your energy. So, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to move, but sometimes it’s interior design shifts, changing up your flowers, changing up what you have on your desk, how you’re organizing your closet, what you have on your altar – that’s a huge one! When’s the last time you changed what’s on your altar? When’s the last time you changed what’s in your bathroom? Maybe adding some beautiful flowers or a plant there, or just new things to redefine who you are right now.
These are the reasons why, when we go on vacations, to new places, we feel really good; or when we travel to certain places; it’s because we are liking who we are in that energy. So, the most important place that we travel to, every single day, is our home, we come back from the dream realms, so having your home be a place of inspiration that you really feel like fits your energy, and also calls in more of the energy that you are desiring.
So, if you’re feeling like your home is really blocked, is really cluttery, it has a lot of pictures of old versions of you, clothes in your closet that are old versions of you, it is time to release them, it is time to let them go and make space for what serves you now.
So, let me know if you are spiritually upleveling right now and what that looks like for you. Please share with me on my Instagram post, all about this Episode, and we can read each other’s and maybe get more tips and advice on how we can continue to redefine our lives, our friendships, our careers, our homes, to really be a reflection of who and where we are at right now.
So, I’m really excited to announce that doors are opening back up for Dharma Coaching Institute! So, if you are feeling a career redefine into becoming a Certified Soul Purpose and Spiritual Life Coach, I am so excited to invite you inside!
These 6 months together that we will spend are beyond transformational, imagine weekly Q&A calls with me, 2-3 hours of modules, a weekly coaching pod with your master coach, practice coaching sessions, I mean, I’ve seen students go from completely confused and overwhelmed and not knowing what their purpose is, to having thriving coaching practices, creating retreat centers and so much more.
So, if you’re curious, you’re interested in joining us when doors open back up in March, head over to dharmacoachinginstitute.com and I’m soul excited to welcome you inside.
I hope you enjoyed this Episode and I’ll see you in the next one. Namaste!
Episode 438: How To Know If You’re Spiritually Outgrowing Friendships, Careers and
Homes with Sahara Rose
By Sahara Rose