Highest Self Podcast Episode 302: Spiritual Activism, Millennials, Empathy + Intentional Community with Teal Swan
You may know Teal Swan from her spiritual Youtube videos and in this episode we’re going to be diving much deeper to speak about the energetics of this moment in time, spiritual activism, raising consciousness, the core differences between millennials + baby boomers (and why there’s such a big clash), being an empath and so much more.
She also shares how she lives in an intentional community with 12 people and the dynamics of how to make living in an intentional community work. We talk about all the questions on people’s minds right now and this is a must listen for all spiritual seekers!
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Transcript
Episode 302: Spiritual Activism, Millennials, Empathy + Intentional Community with Teal Swan
By Sahara Rose
Namaste. It’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to the Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you, your soul’s highest evolvement.
I am soul deeply honored to have you here. I know there are a lot of new listeners who have gone through a bit of a spiritual transformation this quarantine season – it does it for you, doesn’t it? – and are awakening to this whole other side of themselves that involves Spirit Guides; and Chakras; and Ayurveda; and Doshas; and just understanding yourself at the soul level.
So, to you who this is the first episode of listening, I say Welcome! Now is the perfect time, your soul is asking you to wake up and is guiding you to the exact conversations, realizations and awakenings that your soul has been waiting for.
So, welcome my Queen, or King, or Non-Binary, whoever you are, I’m grateful for you.
And if you are here every week – What’s up? What’s happening?
You may have heard our last episode with Teal Swan which was over a year ago (Episode 176 Intuitive Gifts and The Loneliness Epidemic with Teal Swan), such a great episode, definitely recommend listening to it as well. But if you aren’t aware of Teal Swan, she is truly an OG when it comes to sharing spirituality online. I actually discovered her about 10 years ago on YouTube when I was really going through my spiritual awakening, and she had so many videos on What is Duality; What are Spirit Guides; What are Souls; all of these things and it was very, very helpful for me, and what I love about her is she is so herself; she doesn’t try to market things in a way that they might be liked by other people just to get their approval; she definitely does not fall into the toxic positivity category. She says it as it is, and for a lot of people it can be blunt, and it can be harsh, but she is always speaking her truth. And someone who has such profound depth and wisdom, that learning from her and hearing her speak, and hearing her just awarenessess and subtleties is really inspiring and also activating for your own consciousness.
So, she explains more about her story growing up in a very strict cult as a child and actually being abused in this cult, and you know, eventually finding spirituality, and finding herself, and finding her sovereignty. And a lot of the work that she does is on loneliness and how loneliness is our biggest epidemic. And she has been talking about this for years now but it’s interesting because we’re in this literal manifestation of it in quarantine that we’re literally in boxes, in homes, by ourselves, when the one thing that we need more than anything is each other. And she is someone who is very vocal in speaking about this and dives into it in this episode.
So, as we know, we have been going through the most craziest spiritual awakening of the human history right now (at least in our modern memory) and a lot of stuff is going up in flames and it’s going up in flames so we can rebuild something new. You know, if I wanted to build a house from scratch I’d have to get rid of the old house to rebuild a brand new foundation from the ground up and essentially that’s sort of what it feels like we’re going through right now. There are so many layers from political to spiritual; to medical etc., and what we really focus on in this episode are the Spirituality and the Consciousness-related aspects of this shift, of this awakening, and what we can really focus on and how at the end of the day it really comes down to this.
I, for myself, have realized that the best way that I could really be of service to humanity is to raise consciousness, and that, growing up myself, and I’ve shared this on podcast, it’s like a hard-core Activist, going to school to become an International Human Rights Lawyer, working with NGO’s and immigrants and refugees; being the President of Amnesty International; orchestrating many protests; really coming from an activist background and eventually realizing that this not the best way to really help people because these situations keep showing up if the belief is still there.
And that’s what we talk about in this episode of really going to the root cause. And if we really want to talk about Activism – it’s not just about posting things on social media and going to the protest, it’s about changing your subconscious beliefs that are still withholding; upholding whatever it is you’re fighting against. Whether it’s Racism or Sexual Dysfunction or whatever else – where is that present in yourself, in your relationships etc. and that’s what we really dive into in the first part of this episode.
Teal also has an amazing video on her You Tube Channel. YouTube is her main place on Millennials and the differences between the Millennials and generation The Baby Boomers and how so many people keep saying “What’s wrong with the Millennials; why are they so entitled; why are they this; why are they that?” And we have a conversation about that, myself being a Millennial, and different perspectives of why we are the way that we are and the Light and the Shadow of that, of growing up in the time that we have been raised in; graduing in the time that we graduated, and the economic collapses and now this situation and how it’s affected us.
We also talk (and this was my first time ever hearing her speak about this on the podcast) about her unique living situation of living in an intentional community, in a home with twelve other people and how that works, how that functions, what are their dynamics and how a lot of us are getting the download right now to move into, you know, off-grid communities, intentional communities, homes with multiple people, whatever it is. And I know for myself, I’ve never seen it done in a way that I’m like “This is really thriving and this is really working.” And she shared that she actually lives in one, so I asked her some questions about the dynamics of the one that she has created. And it’s really interesting because you can see that there can be a community created around anything. You can actually create your own rules and it doesn’t have to be this one certain way or this one certain structure, it’s actually going to be really based off of the needs of the people who want to create this community.
So, it was really interesting to hear hers and how it functions. And maybe we’ll give you some ideas of how you would want your intentional community to function. I know myself and my husband are going to move out of LA, we don’t know exactly where, but we have received that download to just be in Nature, and especially with things, you know, being in lockdown, and this going back down to lockdown, and you know, just wondering what this next chapter will look like. And I know for myself, my happiest times in my life are when I am surrounded by nature, surrounded by trees and waterfalls and birds and dolphins and plants and why wait, you know, why wait?
So, a lot of us are feeling this call to go to our soul’s true homes and this is really the time to listen to that, and I’m seeing a lot of people are leaving cities right now; a lot of people are realizing that it just doesn’t make sense to be in the city when you’re doing everything on Zoom and you could be paying a lot less rent and being in a lot nicer of a place somewhere else. So, it’s really fascinating to see, kind of like the collapse of these cities (not in a literal way) but in a way that, you know, I heard that in some areas of New York, 40% of the people have left. And not saying everyone should, it’s really up to each individual, but I think a lot of us by default go to live in certain places (like live in the city) because you think that’s where the job opportunities are, that’s where you’re going to make friends, that’s where the conscious community is, that’s where things are happening, this is the best place for your career. I know for me, I wasn’t even actually living in LA until I met my husband, and I just ended up staying here. But I always loved living here because it felt like a meeting of the minds and now that that’s not necessarily the case, and also just feeling more guided by nature than I am by humans, I’m feeling called to move, so. I don’t know if I’ll live in an intentional community (at this time or not), but it’s definitely something on my radar. So it was really cool to hear Teal speak about hers and to just get to know her deeper on a personal level because she is someone who has influenced myself and so many people, and really just feels so other-worldly and it’s cool to see that, you know, she’s just a human too, working it out and also trying to figure out how to really make intentional community work when there’s still a bunch of humans with a bunch of different needs involved. So, it was really cool to hear that and always to hear her downloads.
So, without further ado, let’s welcome Teal Swan to the Highest Self podcast.
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Sahara:
Welcome Teal to the Highest Self podcast, it’s so great to have you back.
Teal:
Thank you for having me, it’s good to be here.
Sahara:
So the first question I’d love to ask you is what makes you your highest self?
Teal:
I would have to say that it’s the core of my value system is Excellence. That sort of shocks people when I say that, seeing as, how in the spiritual field we tend to look at things like achievements as an ego-based drive or desire. However, the fact that the core of my being is really about this rage to master an excellence makes it. So I have a very special drive to achieve things like alignment and integration, and also to do a lot of the things that I feel like, you know, these goal-like things that have to do with positive world change that are quite frankly huge endeavors to take on.
Sahara:
Well, you do it so well. I always say Teal is the OG of all things, because I remember watching your YouTube videos like ten years ago maybe, I mean, how long have you been doing this?
Teal:
It’ll be eleven years now.
Sahara:
Crazy! Beautiful! And you’re just always so on-point with your daily updates and everything. I’m so resonant with your work and that’s why I’m so excited to talk to you today. Because, I mean we’re going through this crazy transformation, and I think a lot of us right now have moved into kind of like how much can we personally play with the fire of wanting to be Activists; wanting to make the change and then getting burned and realizing like “Wait, is this actually the best way that I can help? Is this the best way of being of service and is Activism in the New Paradigm even what it has looked like in the past? So, I’d love for you to share a little bit on what Spiritual Activism can really be like?
Teal:
Well, Spiritual Activism is not the same playing field as Social Activism. Spiritual Activism is really about the individual. It’s to recognize that the collective is a reflective of oneself, so, instead of going out there and taking to the streets, you’re taking to the internal world. It’s like “Wait a minute, if I’m seeing Terrorism out there, that means that I probably have an internal terrorist; If I’m seeing Racial Injustice in the world, what part of me is Racist?” It’s almost like a radical ownership of those “negative” things you see in the external. And by focusing on those within yourself and resolving those elements within yourself, what happens as a result is it changes your perspective about them and then you start to go out in the world and interact differently than you would have before that process occurs. It’s almost like if you find the part of you that’s Racist inside, what you’re going to say to a Racist on the outside is not the same thing. You’re probably not going to sit there and shame the crap out of them or demand justice, it’s going to be more like “Alright, I understand this person, I relate to this person because I have this in me – where does it come from; what is the actual motive; what are the unmet needs? So, you’re much more capable of creating that external resolution based off of that internal process of resolution. If that makes sense?
Sahara:
Absolutely! And I think what comes up for a lot of people and for myself is that guilt of it not being enough; of, is it Spiritual Bypass to not be out there and be a person who’s really fighting for the cause.
So, I’d love to hear your take on this.
Teal:
I think that pretty much anything could be Spiritual Bypassing. But there seems to be an anxiety in the Spiritual Field that when you do internal work, it’s not going to somehow translate into external work – but that’s not been my experience. What is usually the case (by usually I mean like, by far the majority of the case) is that when people do this internal process, they have more of a capacity to be Activist. But they’re going to be Activist in a different way. It’s sort of like, you can be a Social Justice warrior against sex crimes until the moment that you find, you know, the part of yourself that is a sex predator, right? And when you start to resolve that aspect of yourself, it’s like “Wait a minute, going out there and trying to arrest every single sex predator on Earth isn’t going to do anything” so your personal activism may suddenly become something like starting a non-profit and may look like developing new programs for people who have sexual kinks. It may look like teaching healthy sexuality courses. It’s almost like the more aware you become, the more systemic your focus becomes. And a lot of what we’re noticing in the world in terms of this external activism that a lot of people look at and say “Go do that” actually does nothing, it’s like a, I mean it looks good. When you’re out there taking to the streets it looks good and it puts a lot of pressure on a life of activism; it puts a lot of pressure on law-makers and you can argue that that’s good because these law-makers are changing these laws, but at the same time the systemic issue that created those original laws has not changed. And because of that, it will come out in another sector of society. So, it’s like your focus gets more and more and more root of the tree-driven. That’s always going to be where I encourage people to go more especially because of so many of these surface activism behaviors really feed the ego. That’s like all they do. I can tell you how many people are out there doing this not because of the things they really believe, but because they want to look good. And you know, me as a celebrity, I got a lot of pressure put on me during this Black Lives Matter thing, you know, and none of the talk was about really creating systemic change. It was like “Do this because it looks good. This is good PR.” I mean, there’s so many people involved in this whole business of online media, we’re like “You don’t know how bad this is going to look for you if you don’t get on this train” and I’m like “That’s not the right reason to get onto something.”
Sahara:
So how much do you think it is, we do the internal spiritual work so it transcends into physical action, and how much is it that the actual light frequency that we are creating is what is creating the change?
Teal:
I don’t see those two things as separate. Maybe if you could spend a little bit more of like how you’re making a distinction there, maybe.
Sahara:
So, we see a lot of people who say “Send light. Send love. Do global meditations. That’s actually what’s going to create the change.”
Teal:
No. See, I differ from my spiritual colleagues in feeling like that’s not going to do anything and that’s mostly Spiritual Bypassing. This is why, and I’ll tell you why. Focused intention matters, but if you knew how much of your own consciousness is subconsciously dedicated towards the opposite thing you’re consciously focused on, it would blow your mind. So, it’s like, until you do that deep digging work, it’s like “Alright, we’re going to do a conscious meditation against Racism” and let’s pretend 10% of your conscious energy is all for combining and coming together but 90% of your consciousness is like “I don’t like that person; I don’t like that person; That person should be stopped.” You’re not getting that that’s still focused energy. So, I feel like people are aware of their conscious mind and not aware of the subconscious mind; and seem to think their conscious mind is the only thing creating.
Sahara:
It’s very true, exactly it’s that. So what do you think of people who are saying that “We were kind of on this timeline that this whole Coronavirus situation is going to take us to, you know, a much Darker place. And because of the amount of Light that’s emerging with people meditating, waking up, etc. we’re on a better timeline and we could actually still elevate it to a different timeline. Are you seeing it like that, of like different trajectories?
Teal:
I usually see different trajectories but like I’ve said since the beginning of this whole crisis breaking out, that trajectory shift was something that took place in 2012. So right now, none of the primary life pass for humanity have shifted away from world conflict. So that’s the one, if I really had my two sense of what I’m putting my energy into on a daily basis, that’s the outcome I’m trying to steer us away from, but that’s what humanity, so far, has decided upon.
Sahara:
And do you think that this has been decided that we’re kind of like The Fall of Lemuria, The Fall of Atlantis, like this is just it or do you think that there’s still a possibility for things to go in another direction?
Teal:
It depends what your definition of different and direction is, because humanity has decided already that the current society causes pain. So, a lot of people, when they say “Could we still turn this around?” means could we go back to the way it was? And the answer is No! Because the collective asking is for that to go away and usually before that new thing is built, there has to be some kind of a downfall or destruction of the original system. So that’s 100% decided upon, not because humans somehow doomed themselves and can’t turn the boat around, but because down deep, if we’re really conscious, everyone’s voting for a new system. So it’s almost like there’s definitely, you know, a better thing on the other side of this, for sure. But there’s been a boat already cast by people for the destruction of what was.
Sahara:
Do you see this as that shift between the Piscean, Aquarian Age, 3D to 5D? How do you kind of see this happening?
Teal:
Very simply. Human beings are mastering relationship. What I mean by relationship is – a relationship is all life is. You have a relationship to the parts of yourself; you have a relationship to loved ones; you have a relationship to the enemy; you have a relationship to your purpose in life, and human beings are quite famous throughout this Universe as being relationship dysfunctional. A highly self-centered organism that does not take others as a part of itself and we have seen the byproduct of that. So, what human beings are shifting into is the mastery of relationships. And as humanity shifts into the mastery of relationships, the entire structure of society shifts. It’s like if we’re mastering a relationship with the beings within our own society that are not acting in alignment with the best interests of the group then the way that we master that relationship is not to throw them in jail cell and shame them more for example. So that means the entire justice system changes.
If we take a child as a part of oneself, you know, (master the relationship to children), then the entire education system changes; and so does the family system. So it’s like every system upon which our society functions is going to shift as a result of understanding, which is the hard part of the story that we’re telling here as a human race. It’s that we’re ending as a zero sum game. But the only way that people will arrive at a place where they end the zero sum game is by realizing that it doesn’t work anymore. And that means they will play the worse zero sum game ever played. That’s what you’re watching right now. Like if you just want to make it very simple, the human race is playing an I when you lose a scenario with the environment; it’s playing I when you’re losing a scenario with other countries; playing an I when you lose a scenario with other races; playing an I when you’re losing scenario with other family members, partners; and when that gets bad enough you eventually end up in (you know, this is a cause-effect Universe), you end up in the effect of that. And that’s usually the moment people go “We can’t do it anymore” but if you want to understand where we’re headed as a human race, imagine what it will take for the collective of humanity to realize that they can’t play a zero sum game anymore.
Sahara:
Do you think the Coronavirus in a way was just a manifestation of our fear of one another?
Teal:
Yeah actually. That is definitely an element of it, but I would love to say it was not political, you know, zero sum games being played at the back of this as well.
Sahara:
It’s so fascinating because there’s just Duality is more apparent to us now than ever before. It’s always been there, but we’re like “There’s so much good, the animals are out and there’s less pollution here” and there’s so much Darkness. So, do you feel like we’re kind of reaching this point to see all total Duality and we’re just going to reach this point that the zero sum game that we’re like “We just can’t do this anymore.” We have to perpetually learn through pain or do you think that in this New Paradigm we’re not going to have to go to the tipping point in order to make that change?
Teal:
That! That is exactly what we’re going to learn. It is not a requisite that people end up in extreme levels of suffering to switch course or to change their direction. But this has been the way human beings do it and that’s not changed yet, so yes, I believe 100% this New Paradigm is going to be one where the socialization process for humans primarily does not teach a person to bulldoze aspects of themselves. So if parenting does not teach a child to play a zero sum game with themselves (you know, that’s what we’re doing, we’re bulldozing that part of ourselves) then all of a sudden you end up with a person with a higher degree of sensitivity to resistance. And so whenever the child feels that resistance, instead of bulldozing or denying it or disowning it or whatever, we do today, it’s going to be listening powerfully to that resistance and working to resolve that resistance so that a person is in alignment when they take that next action. So for me, that’s like, you know, it’s quite inspiring the fact that that’s going to be how people live, and it’s going to add up to a hell of a lot of different experience on Earth because you know, what you are describing here, it’s not like people are going to have to get to this breaking point where you whack a tree at 70mph in order to wake up. It’s going to be, that’s a little uncomfortable, which means something is not right for me; now I’m going to make an adjustment; now it’s right for me.
Sahara:
Yeah, I think that even that Paradigm evention of how females don’t work, but in a way, with our cancel culture, if we don’t like someone we’re in a way putting them in jail. We’re like “You’re wrong forever, you can’t go back.” And we’re just repeating that same narrative because that’s how we’re brought up, you’re in time-out. And we’re just replaying the same thing on the other side. So, I think right now a lot of people are realizing this whole cancel culture thing is not working because then the only people left are the people who actually thrive off of that hatred energy, you know, politicians in power or whoever else. So, it’s interesting because in our fight, even the word ‘we’re fighting’ for social justice, we’re fighting, we’re fighting, which is just a repetition of war.
How can we create this change without having to you know, go, like, as Martin Luther King said “the riots are the language of the unspoken person.” I think a lot of people just feel like that child who has not been listened to and they’re so angry, and they’re taking their wrath out, but at the same time feeling like “Am I giving into some sort of agenda that is thriving off of me being angry and being reactive right now.” So how can we find ourselves in this mid-point?
Teal:
It’s really simple. Ask yourself what are you wanting? Like, when we’re taking to the streets it’s what are we wanting? Are we wanting them to suffer – the other party? It’s like when we powerfully ask what it is at the very bottom level of this, at the deepest level of this – what am I wanting? And we start to go for that directly, we take different actions. I’m wanting people to be safe (let’s say I hate crime), I’m protesting for a crime or whatever. Why am I taking to the streets? Because what I really, ultimately want is for there to be no crime on the Planet. So this automatically indicates that I have to understand the motive of the crime. And if I understand the motive for the crime, I can all of a sudden see that the root of the crime is Poverty. So, suddenly my focus is going to change from ending crime to creating solutions to Poverty. And now my energy starts going into what is the mentality in these places that where there’s the highest level of crime, there’s the highest level of Poverty – what is the mentality there; what is the basic lifestyle there; what support systems either are or aren’t there from society and how do we resolve that; how do we resolve the mentality, resolve the social structure there; resolve the opportunities that may or may not be there? And make it so that that systemic issue is not a thing anymore.
Sahara:
Absolutely. That is a 100% it, and I think what’s happening is people feel like that that root cause is so far away I don’t have access to it, but what I do have access to, they believe, is changing the slot. Like, for example, one cause that I care about are the children in the cages at the border of Mexico right now.
Teal:
Oh yeah, that thing everyone’s forgotten, right?
Sahara:
Right! So, I was posting about it and it was just creating a lot of controversy and I’m like “Okay, what is the root cause that they’re there?” Well, they’re there because they fled their country. Why have they fled their country? Because there are drug wars. Well, why are there drug wars? Well, because so many people in the US are buying cocaine that it is feeding these drug wars. So, what is the solution to that for us to essentially legalize all drugs so you don’t have to have these drug dealers who are doing that. But, I don’t know how I’m going to go about legalizing cocaine. So it feels like the only thing I can do is “Let’s take these kids out of the cages.”
So how can we create change when that root cause feels like that’s never going to happen?
Teal:
I’m not saying it’s wrong to take the approach you’re taking. It’s just to realize that it will always be an issue as long as that root issue is there and the root issue of that is not, I mean everything you said is a link in the chain, but the root of it is addictive behaviors which has its roots in socialization. So, like, for example, what creates an addict is most of the time emotional neglect. When a person has emotional neglect they have no way to meet their emotional needs, it becomes this chasm of painful energy that they try to avoid. So, choice is just an avoidance mechanism. And for you, I mean it’s ironic that you don’t say (I’m giving you the higher perspective ironic like) I don’t know how to solve that but with what you’ve been doing with increasing consciousness; the way the Universe sees it is you’ve been doing that.
Sahara:
Yeah and I think that in our minds we’re like “Well if I’m not touching those very people at the end of the cycle then I’m not helping” even though it does all come back to just raising consciousness.
Teal:
Oh yeah, 100%. And I really wish that people could powerfully understand that they’re a part of this pie, you know. Every person is a piece of this pie and if you change your piece that changes the pie. So, there’s nothing small about assisting one person, there’s nothing small about changing oneself, and it’s a perspective I wish that people could really see, especially the Millennial generation – it’s like, you feel like you’re part of the system so big that nothing you do changes anything. It’s almost like the drop in the ocean complex, you know.
Sahara:
Well, you made an amazing video about Millennials and understanding the mind of Millennials which I so resonate with. I shared it, I was like “Everyone needs to listen to this” because there is so much inter-generational conflict (there always has been) but I think the growing up with technology is really going to create a difference.
So, can you share with us some of what you found in mindsets of Millennials and how they are different from other generations?
Teal:
Oh man, yeah. Well, first of all, it’s important to say that there has always been conflict between generations but it’s never been like this. The conflict between The Boomers and Millennials is something to go down in history. And specifically what it is – is that the Millennials feel set up for failure, and they were. What I mean by this is that The Boomer generation really raised Millennials with this interesting mix of control and freedom. Like, I almost don’t care (lax a days are calligy – inaudiable) and also like strict – this is how you want to do your life if you want to succeed. And there’s so many failed parenting methods at the heart of this you know. The 1980s was really the birth of the parenting book, and a lot of those parenting books were failed methods of parenting (bad, bad ones) and also you’re coming out of the Hippy generation (Boomers are the Hippy generation) and so they really saw the negative shadows and competition and things like that and so for example, they would things like give out purchase patient awards. Now the way the real world functions, they hadn’t changed society yet – the workplace was just as competitive as ever but they raised children with this idea that competition is bad and also poorly equipped them for competition.
So what it is, if you want to summarize all this, it’s been like years on this, but if you want to summarize all that it is – The Boomer generation led their Millennial children to believe that they would achieve success and get this carrot at the end of this rainbow if they did XYZ – so the Millennial children did XYZ. But instead of it setting them up for success, it set them up for a 100% failure. Because the Millennial generation is interesting in that, there are many generations that have gone through a recession, however, the Millennial generation was set into the work force in a recession, so you know, they took out huge amount of student loans on you know, being told that college is the way to get a good job, that they would never be able to repay because they can’t use these degrees to get a job because you know, all of the people that had much larger resumes didn’t exit the work force – they stayed. So then they had to go after college right back into an entry level position, but this time in debt. So, not only can I not get ahead in life, I am in debt, so I am even behind level zero. And inflation went crazy and so, now I can’t afford a house and when Millennials sort of struggling on this hamster wheel of never being able to get forward in life – now we are hit with what’s happening right now. So, it’s like a one-two punch when Millennials were already in the space of ‘you don’t get it,’ like ‘you literally duped me’. “I followed every single piece of advice you gave me and instead of leading me to somewhere good, it led me to being a slave for the rest of my life. I will work my ass off on this hamster wheel and never get anywhere.” So, the mentality of Millennials, because of that wounding, has created a real barrier for their own success, and it’s really important for Millennials to get that they failed because they were meant to change the system in the first place. So until Millennials really get, there is no way to for you to fit in here, no. Like, the way you came here to change the system in the first place, you can’t try to succeed in a failing system. Once they get that it’s not such a shock that their life doesn’t work right now. And what’s happening right now is this real struggle (which also by the way is another element here of what’s happening with the virus), there is this struggle within consciousness about the fact that it used to be that generations could take over from the previous one, but that’s not happening right now. The Boomer generation is hanging on to power and what they’re doing is not passing the baton. So Millennials were like “Fine, I’m still a kid even though I’m an adult, have fun making all the rules for me.” So, it’s almost led to this rebellious teenager type of generation that’s like “I’m doing it my own way, I’m going rogue.” But because of the lack of faith in the whole system, nobody is really trying to take that baton – take the baton, because it’s going to be handed to them. So, there’s a lot of things that Millennials need to be working on, you know. They need to experience the opposite first of all. To heal is to experience the opposite. They need these experiences of being able to put their energy to something and actually have it turn out instead of, you know, what’s causing this Millennial burn out which is that I’m putting endless amount of energy into things and there is no yield, you know. They need the feeling of being able to exact their own power instead of this powerlessness that they feel; successfully creating something that’s better than putting up with something that doesn’t work, which is something where everyone is basically saying that to Millennials to suck it up and put up with what doesn’t work. No, no, Millennials need to do the exact opposite of that. So, it’s almost like if everyone Millennial looks at what painful thing they’ve experienced and what opposite for them specifically is of that and try to go towards that directly (not the way other that people are telling them that that’s going to happen) – how could I go for that directly; how could I go for somebody really valuing my input, directly; how could I really go towards personal empowerment relative to money, directly? Then a lot of their actions would change because it’s like, Millennials are sort of complaining about the way the system is, but they have this mentality like “I have to keep running on a hamster wheel.” And then care-taking a lot of these emotions like hatred, and rage, and anger, and unfairness is really important because it was a generation that was damaged, and it’s really important that Millennials not to listen to, you know, the narrative that’s being put out there right now. I feel like it’s particularly damaging of you know, shaming the Millennial for all of the issues that they’ve got because a lot of people actually correctly identify what those shadows are but you’re not going to shame somebody for having a sexual issue if they were sexually abused. So, we’re sort of shaming Millennials, not understanding they have every reason to have turned out that way. So, it’s like in the work place, if we’re hiring Millennials we have to understand that wounding and being able to create a new experience for them. And Millennials are buying into it a lot of times, the shame narrative, even though they defend themselves against it; they’re buying into the shame narrative when people are like “You’re lazy; you’re impossible to have on a team; bla bla bla.” Millennials also have to get out of “What’s the point?” Most Millennials are actually walking around with that, like “What’s the point of this? Of course if I put all of my energy into this, I’ve got this learned powerlessness and like what’s the point of doing any of it?” But what they’ve got to see is that there’s nothing wrong with actually from the Universe perspective we’ve just given up. However, there is no possible way to give up like that or to tell yourself there’s no point and have a life that feels good. So, it’s like they have to see that commitment is actually the only way that they can get into the space in lives that they are wanting to experience.
Also, deciding what they stand for, you know. And this is a really powerful question for people to answer because what you stand for kind of makes it so it doesn’t matter what the outcome is. And I hear a lot of people (because me owning a business) I hear a lot of people in the business element talking about Millennials, that’s where the biggest conversations about Millennials are taking place in the work force, you know. So, you’ve got these business owners that will actually do whole workshops on how to deal with Millennials, and it’s interesting because they keep bringing up this idea and these workshops about getting Millenials to stop being so focused on results and start being focus on contribution which is something which sets them apart actually from their older counterparts. And the way that I feel this is going to be accomplished is by Millennals asking “What do I stand for?” Because if you stand for something, it ultimately doesn’t matter what the outcome is because you’re so in alignment with your own value system, that the doing of something will fulfill you. But it’s a very different approach. Telling somebody “Stop caring about the outcome” is not going to work. Telling somebody “What do you stand for and how do you powerfully get behind that” – that works.
I could go all day long, am I boring you now?
Sahara:
No, well, as a Millennial, what I see is, in a way it’s like Maslow’s hierarchy, right? Like, a lot of time our parents were just born with this survival mindset of “Okay, how am I going to get the white picket house and the van and the this, and the that” because we were born with that luxury we’re trying to reach for self-actualization which for a lot of people doesn’t make sense. We’re not trying to save up until retirement and then eat the avocado toast. We’re going to eat the avocado toast today and you know, for a lot of people it’s just a different mindset. So, I feel like that entitled could be seen as entitlement in a way as worthiness of like “I’m worthy of it right now, so why should I wait for it?” Yeah, what’s your take?
Teal:
I have a totally different take on that. Entitlement comes from powerlessness. What entitlement is – is “I can’t get this for myself” so the person who’s most capable has to give it to me. Especially if you’re the one making it so I can’t get it. So, it’s like you’ll never see the frequency of true deserving and entitlement, they’re literally diametrically opposed, it’s one of those nuances that’s not really a nuance. You know, it’s not that I feel, I don’t really actually feel interacting as Millennials like they don’t care about all of those things – some of them, they’ve definitely had the luxury so it’s like an expectation that that’s what their life’s going to look like, but for the majority of them, it’s like they’ve turned away from something because they can’t have it. We’ve turned away from the white picket fence because we’ll never be able to afford a house. We’ve turned away from trying to be happy in our career because no matter how hard we try we’re never going to be able to compete with the work force. So it’s almost like the powerlessness is creating this entitlement which is “Alright, Government hand it to me; Alright boss, I’ve put my hours in, give it to me.”
Sahara:
I don’t believe, they don’t believe in the corporation, so they’re like “So why should I dedicate my life to?” They don’t believe in the Government; so sure, give me a stimulus package because you don’t feel any guilt around taking from something that you see as the oppressor.
Teal:
Exactly! This distrust – do you blame the Millennial generation for distrust? I mean, oh my God, they literally duped. So, it’s like the Millennial generation is walking into the world with this level of absolute distrust, so they play a mad zero sum game. But they perceive these organizations to be playing with them first. Like, you’re making me a slave so go ahead and you know, pay me.
Sahara:
Yeah, and I think a lot of them then reach that point of like “Screw you” whether it’s I don’t even want the white picket house because I’d rather travel and live in all of these different countries and live this like off-grid lifestyle. And in a way I think that’s helpful because we’re realizing that these security-type things don’t actually bring happiness because we saw the front row seat of our parents not having happiness despite filling off all those check marks. I seeing almost everyone wants to be an entrepreneur, especially an online entrepreneur, they want to be doing what they love, and sharing what they love, and choosing their own hours; and I see the shadow side of thinking their life is going to be so easy, like, “Once I become an influencer, everything will be great” and thinking that there’s some sort of alternative path that no one’s speaking about where you like really don’t have to work at all but you get all of your needs met. In a way it’s like, that doesn’t exist because even someone like you (online business) you’re still working all the time but it’s like a different relationship to your work. So, I see a lot of people – so do you think that in this day and age where everyone is trying to be an entrepreneur (their own business, their own brand) can that be every single person?
Teal:
No, and actually most people weren’t born for that. And I say that needing to make a distinction here because whenever I say most people weren’t born as that part of the car engine of society, most people are like “Oh God, I’m going to have to do something I don’t want to for the rest of my life” – that’s actually impossible. It’s not possible to be born into a circumstance where your entire being, the essence of you is forged in this way, and to have that thing bring you happiness. It’s not possible. But most people were so suckled on the idea of what’s going to cause a relief of pain, that we reject actually the parts of ourselves that are the most innate. And this is by the way, this goes beyond just Millennials, but I want to kind of grasp this concept.
I want you to imagine a little girl who is really, is naturally a care-taker (this is not “I am striking out as an entrepreneur type of energy, right”) but let’s say she is raised in a society that looks down on that to such an extreme degree and nobody’s really valued that in her to such an extreme degree, that she develops shame around her actual essence. So she denies and disowns something that could make her the most happy but she will look you in the face and be like “No, I want to own my own business” – that’s going to be a whack-a-tree at 70mph moment. But it’s again of this conditioning where she’s turned away from her actual self so. The reason I’m saying what I’m saying is that it’s actually a very rare individual who thrives and is happy as an entrepreneur; and many people will be incredibly happy – more people are happy with contribution to an overall movement or company or whatever it is, but they’re not getting those needs met within the current system and structure.
Sahara:
Yeah! No, 100% I agree with that. So for people who are not sure if it’s for them, what signs can they look out for? Because as you know, starting any type of business is difficult, but how do they – how can they know if it’s the difficulty of it not being in alignment with their Dharma versus just the pains of growing?
Teal:
Like this – think of a professional athlete – no professional athlete loves to wake up at 4:00am and do some intense training regime; it hurts your body, it’s really hard, you want to stay in bed. However, there’s this other part of you when you’re doing all of those things that kind of feels like there’s no other was for me to live. If you’re doing something you’re not meant for, it’s not going to feel like that; it’s going to feel like you have to force yourself every day. It’s going to feel like a ‘so that.’ So I feel like if people really attune to the ‘so that’ energy, what I mean by that is – “I’m doing that ‘so that’ I can get this money.” If you are in the wrong field, it will feel like a ‘so that.’ I can tell you that from myself in my career, nothing I’ve ever written, no article I’ve ever written, no stage I have ever stood on has felt like a ‘so that.’ It feels like, and that’s what people say when they’re in their flow and in their purpose, they say that, you know, like literally there’s nowhere this is going or what it’s doing for me – I love being up here on the stage, even if it’s not easy. That’s like the difference between you know, challenge and effort are two very different frequencies. You’re never going to find something that’s easy, but there’s like “This is not easy and I love it; and this is not easy and I would rather not do it at all.”
Sahara:
A 100%, it’s like you couldn’t imagine your life another way.
Teal:
Yeah.
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Sahara:
I think a lot of people (in the Millennial generation especially) have been really affected by Abraham Hicks and this idea that everything that you do should feel really good all the time, and if it doesn’t feel good, it’s not for you. And it’s actually preventing a lot of people from creating their Dharma.
What is your take on this Abraham Hicks – positivity style of Law of Attraction?
Teal:
I personally dislike it a lot.
Sahara:
I know you do, that’s why I had to ask.
Teal:
I’m torn because I have a deep understanding of a lot of other spiritual teachers. Instead of just throwing the baby out with the bath water, I understand, especially why a non-physical group of consciousness looking at human race would make that decision.
In the very beginning when Abraham (is this group of consciousness) came into the human race they were explaining things in terms of warnings (that’s what they were doing to begin with) and you know, a lot of people who follow today don’t know that history. And the reason that that non-physical group didn’t change their mind in terms of what to tell to people, is that they realized you can’t put the concept of a warning inside of a human being’s mind without them focusing on that and thus making themselves more a match to it actually. So it’s like, what they did is overcompensate, in my opinion. They’re overcompensating with trying to make it very, very simple. Law of Attraction is not simple – Not! But it was like this is too much for now; we need to just get them together and whatever they focus on, they’re letting energy to. So, it’s like they have oversimplified and swung the pendulums to such an extreme degree now that you’d watch these people who are really dedicated to spiritual practice, but really, also the type of people who are in the spirituality, specifically as an avoidance mechanism in the first place, and now they found the perfect, the perfect philosophy to justify escapism.
Sahara:
So good.
Teal:
So, I have a real frustration with it. A real frustration for the reason that you said; for the reason people aren’t understanding that parts of their consciousness that are in pain are screaming for attention because they need it. And we’ve got this mentality where it’s like if you look at something that hurts on an emotional or mental level, it’s dysfunctional. But for sure, if something hurts in your body, you should definitely look at that. I mean, it’s not even logical – if your leg hurts you go to a doctor; the doctor looks at your leg, says “The leg is broken” based on the fact that it was broken, I know what to do. It’s almost like these philosophies are saying “Look, if something hurts, look the other way.” How would that work with a compound fracture? You can’t expect the emotional system and the mental system to function another way. So, I could be on a soap box all day.
Sahara:
Well I think it’s, what it does is, a lot of people are so in their you know, pained body or victimhood, or whatever the word is, and it gives them this idea that feeling good doesn’t have to be something I’m guilty about, right. Like, it can be spiritual for me to feel good, I don’t have to live this endless gloom of pain. I think there’s an element of felling you’re more real or authentic if you have like a bit of a pessimistic energy that this kind of shifting of the pendulum the other way; but then what it’s doing is – your life becomes a barometer of feeling good all the time, and then anything that’s like, you know, getting on a podcast, anything, it requires some. Like, I’m seeing a lot of people are hopping onto this bandwagon of not planning anything. They say planning; having anything on a schedule is like Old Paradigm. So, for example, let’s say I want to do a podcast with them, they would say “Well, I don’t know how I’m going to feel at 10am. Maybe I won’t be in the flow. So, just call me and maybe if I’m in alignment we’ll do the podcast then.” And I get what they mean, that time doesn’t exist and that we should always be doing what we feel in the flow form, but I’m like “How are we going to move forward as a society if everyone’s only doing what they want when they want.”
Teal:
It’s not going to happen. So, getting completely self-centered. With humanity you’ve got an innately co-dependent “I’m going to take you out, okay, I’ve got a good idea.”
If you zoom out and you look from a non-physical lens (which is also where a lot of these spiritual guides are coming from) human race is intensely co-dependent. So what’s happening is almost like “Well you need to get a little bit more focused on yourself” right? And what tends to happen with the cycle of healing co-dependency is that co-dependents don’t conceptualize of ‘we’, so it’s either ‘you’ or ‘me.’ So, they’re swinging the pendulum over to complete narcissism and this is not where we are wanting to go as a human species. However, when people do go there, to the like “I’m self-centered, it’s all about me” they will lose every relationship they possess. That’s actually the trajectory of most people following Abraham Hicks (have fun, you’re not going to have a relationship that works). That will cause them to desire a relationship, and at that point it starts to feel good to the person to come into you know, spaces where it’s taking you as a part of me and thus acting in your best interest deserves to be something that causes personal gratification as well. So, the pendulum swinging is coming back but I really do believe in the inner person’s capacity to not have to swing the pendulum because that pendulum swing is going to create some brutal results.
Sahara:
Exactly! And I think that it’s so important to.. Like, everyone’s on a different journey because a lot of people have realized themselves as an Empath. They’re walking around “I’m an Empath so I can’t do this; I’m an Empath and I can’t do that” and we’re kind of using this term as a mechanism to not have any boundaries and blame it on the fact that they’re an Empath. Then you see all of these boundaries teachers that are like “If you don’t want to do it at that moment, no, no, no, no” and the whole teaching is – you could even see that as selfishness and it’s like this other direction we’re finding our flow between like not knowing who’s emotions are ours or anyone else’s and also like not willing to succumb in any way to what anyone else wants.
Teal:
Yeah, what you’re describing is this dysfunction that exists within any field. It’s like we’ve got develop a softness to understand that all of these philosophies are more like tools. So, one person may need a little bit of that; the other person may need a little bit of the opposite. So if we get our teeth dug into this rigid way of being then we become distorted. And I’ve got a lot of frustration about that as well. But speaking about Empaths, if you want to talk about that, you want my take on Empaths?
Sahara:
Oh yeah, oh yeah, lay it.
Teal:
It’s natural for beings to be able to feel each other, because the ultimate truth of this Universe is Oneness. When we become identified, we start to disconnect from other things within this Universe. However, Empaths (what we’re calling Empaths on this planet) are people who are raised in unsafe situations. It’s not possible to meet an Empath, someone who says “I’m an Empath” and have it not be the case because what creates that condition is that the only way to stay safe emotionally or physically or both, in the childhood environment, is by attuning to the most dangerous person. It’s like a perpetrator bonding – the more that I can sense, the most dangerous thing in the room, the better equipped I am to make adjustments that keep me safe. So, what an Empath does is that they naturally walk in the room and attune to the most dangerous thing in the room – the thing that’s the biggest threat and that’s the most negative – that quick. They could do the opposite.
Sahara:
Did anyone grow up not like that? Having like an angry parent. I feel like everyone had something that there was a little bit of fear of.
Teal:
You mean like everyone not just every Empath? You mean did everybody?
Sahara:
Yes, I think every single person or maybe I’m just, like, I’m a 100% I know who that was.
Teal:
No. This is reserved for dysfunctional families. I teach the majority of the families who are dysfunctional, however, there has to be a degree of dysfunctionality for that to be done away for a child to stay safe. Like, a child does depend on the parents, but if the parents give a suggestion through their behavior or their words that the child is safe enough to really tune into themselves instead of the parent. They won’t develop that same obsessive compulsive tendency to attune to whoever in the room is the most dangerous.
Sahara:
Do you think that some people are born as Empaths because it’s like a spiritual skill or do you think that’s more of this coping mechanism?
Teal:
It’s a coping mechanism. It’s a coping mechanism and the more sensitive you are, this is the sort of nurture meets nature. The more sensitive you are as a being coming in, saying like, you know, some people’s nervous systems are quite sensitive. The more sensitive you are, just the better Empath you get. But I could take somebody with a totally tuned-out, not mean to be sensitive nervous system, put him in a household like that and they’re going to get attuned very quickly. It’s just really interesting to watch an Empath because their skill is attunement. So if you bring him into a room, like just watch him, you could have fifteen happy people and one unhappy person, they’re going to key in on that one unhappy person because that person is going to be a threat to them. That person is going to be a threat to the ok-ness of the group. So, teaching Empaths that they can dictate how they feel based on what they focus on is like a revolutionary thing for an Empath. But it’s far more empowering than being like “You take responsibility for changing the way I feel.” It’s just important for Empaths to understand that it’s a coping mechanism.
Sahara:
Yeah. Do you think that the Empaths are picking up on this angry person from a psychic energy or more from their mannerisms (the way that they’re walking and telling that person)?
Teal:
I mean, attunement can get so, so fine that a person could be across the world and they would be able to attune to it. They do it the same as a radio channel functions. It’s like if you got this person who is at 98.2FM, they’re like (sound-screeching), they turn to that channel and they pick it up immediately; they’re very good at that.
Sahara:
Do you think that their work should be the boundaries work or to be trying to use that attunement gift towards intuitive channeling, that sort of thing?
Teal:
I think it depends on the person. Because it’s innately a protection mechanism (that’s what all these coping mechanisms are) it’s a way they have gone about trying to protect themselves. It’s going to be unique to the person and the part of them that is doing that protecting, what that next best thing for them would be, that protector, let’s say they were doing parts within them, the protector may say “Yeah, I’m sick of this job, I don’t want to do it anymore. My job now is going to be lay down the boundary and I’m not going to be in the room with somebody who is in that energy.” Another person’s protector who’s doing that might be like “You know what, actually, I’m going to use this skill so that I can really tune into whatever I choose to tune into” because that’s brilliant, I really like psychology, and if I am a better person at attuning with psychology then, you see how it goes? Si, it’s going to be different for one person versus another.
Sahara:
100%. So, I want to talk about communal living because this is a huge topic. A lot of people are leaving cities wanting to move off-grid, getting the downloads that cities are just not the best place for us right now but also looking at different utopian societies that try to exist and the complete fall-outs of them. So what is your take?
Teal:
Intentional communities are the future of the human race. I have, after having been somebody who lives in intentional community and has set them up for the last 13 years. I have real reservations in terms of my belief in people’s readiness for this because even the most conscious people that I have met aren’t really ready for a relationship. I know it’s hard for people to see themselves this way and they seem to take offence to it when I say it, but the human race is a relationship dysfunctional species. And expecting that person to be able to just thrive in a community without dysfunctional patterns is like taking a dog who’s been beaten and being like “You know, I’m going to throw you in with a bunch of other dogs and you’re going to get along” – No way! So, we’re walking into these communities with all of our interpersonal shadows and it’s our capacity to really work through that and use the intentional community as a fertile ground for developing a relationship that’s going to matter.
The problem I’m saying, the biggest problem with intentional community actually isn’t hierarchical structures and any of these things that most people would tell you, it’s that so many people have been raised in childhood environments that allowed for no identity, meaning you’re going to do this because it makes mom and dad feel good, or you’re going to do this because it makes this community feel good. And so a person has this relationship to people and that the minute I get into a relationship I lose myself. And the thing is, for these people to heal they have to learn autonomy. And so, it’s not actually healthy for a lot of them to throw themselves into community; and in fact when they do, they just realize how badly they need autonomy. So it’s been an interesting pattern that I’ve seen a lot of people come into intentional communities to realize that about themselves, that they can’t maintain a sense of self in a group and then go decide to go live completely by themselves – and of course that throws the whole group off. It’s rather ironic, but the people who are best in intentional communities right now are usually the escape goat in the family. That may have been a little tangent but I think this is, as a person who’s interested in almost a scientific way about these interpersonal dynamics, that’s something that’s quite fascinating that I’ve been watching but back to why this is going to be the new way for humanity.
People are a social species. We have become profoundly more and more dysfunctional the more segregated we get. I don’t know if you know but I wrote this book called “The Anatomy of Loneliness” when I wrote that which was before this whole thing happened of course, what I was basically saying is at the most basic level, separation is causing pain – it’s a separation, no matter what pain you’re experiencing, and this is not natural for a human because we’ve got a culture that suckles you on the concept of independence which is super-dysfunctional. Like, you don’t walk out to another social species and call them dysfunctional for doing what’s natural to them. I’m not like going to go out into the forest and find a deer and be like “Sweetie, your dependence on the rest of this group is currently dysfunctional; you really need to learn how to find your own grass patch.” No one’s going to do that to a deer because we’re like “Err, that’s a herd species.” But that’s us, a human being is not capable of thriving outside the collection, they’re not. So, if we accept this and we have to see that what’s happened over the centuries (which is gradually getting more and more separate) it has led to extreme levels of dysfunction not only within ourselves but within – in society. Meaning that we went from, you know, tribe to culture to single-family units that used to include extended family members to you know, a single-family unit to now a broken family home where one parent, if that you’re lucky, is raising kids to; oh man, it’s getting worse. That’s not going to work for us. So, what the future hold really is not that you’re born into a family (it’s not the powerlessness), you’re born into a family, not your tribe, and no matter whether you like it or not, you’re succumbing to it. It’s basically we’re moving in a tribe but absence of shadow tribe; there’s all kinds of shadow tribe you know. Like, for example, you’re a part of this group that has this belief, and even though this belief really sits wrong with you, you’re going to listen to it anyway – that’s shadow tribe, right? So, we’re moving into being able to understand our unique essence as a species – which is connection and community, but within free will and choice, and without zero sum games. So it looks like us intentionally choosing these families, you know, for us to basically create, and then mastering relationships so that there’s no zero sum games being played within that group, and that naturally makes it so that you have to think about compatibility. So compatibility is going to be the heart of human relationships in the future. And if we can make that a process that doesn’t involve shame (which I think people will be capable of doing) then if you don’t fit into this one family group, it’s almost like society itself is going to find you a place for you.
Sahara:
So what do you see is the ideal structure for this? Because I’ve also tried to live in different communities and it hasn’t worked. What do you see is the ideal size, shared responsibilities versus autonomy, what have you seen that kind of works?
Teal:
I don’t have that picture yet. I don’t have that picture yet at all. I would love to have that picture but it’s like people are at such a unique place in their healing, and are so fragmented that there’s no way to get that picture and apply it to all people. But I can promise you that if that starts to come into view, I’m going to be the first talking about it. So what I mean is that, before that point and right now it looks like you figuring out what your actual truth is, authenticity, and based off of that authenticity allowing your tribe to gravitate towards that frequency and the people who are not, you know, a vibrational match to that they can be away from that frequency and so it’s almost like letting, sort of vibrationally letting the Universe be the one that organizes the compatibility so that people are living the way they want to live with the structure they want put in place. It’s quite hard to create this within in failed system. It’s another reason why that picture isn’t coming into play. Because like right now you need money – the minute you introduce the concept of money in today’s world, you introduce the concept of hierarchy. I’m not against money by the way; I’m calling it how it is. So hierarchy is going to be an element of the community today whether you like it or not. So it’s like a – there’s no way to say what’s perfectly healthy for a human within a system that’s not healthy. And all of these communities still have to function in this system, somehow; even the off-the-grid ones. But I’ve seen some that are thriving quite well, and what it is, is that everybody agrees upon the principles. That’s about the compatibility though, it’s like, if there is a hierarchical structure, every person coming into that community agrees upon that hierarchical structure. You don’t have one person that’s like “This is wrong for me to have one person above me in this area.” The ones that thrive also find real roles, I’ve noticed, which is natural for a human being as well. It’s not like everyone is doing everything the same; it’s that they’re figuring out what their strengths are, and the person within the community feels a sense of self-esteem based off of what they’re contributing to that community specifically; and they allow the other people to have the power and the empowerment in the areas where they excel. I could write another book on this.
Sahara:
Yes, communal living, yes. Because so many people are getting this download I think that the couple main issues that people have are first of all in partnerships – the husband and the wife or the partners may be so different. So my tribe that I might want to live with is not who my husband would want to live with. It’s like going to Burning Man and someone else’s camp and you’re like “Ugh this is not really vibing with me.” Especially when opposites tend to attract and then also single people being like “Wait, then who am I going to end up with when I know every single person here?”
Teal:
Exactly what you said, this is what happened in my community several times and it’s actually happening again right now as we speak. Yeah, see, right now, we’re just at this place where it’s really important for a person who’s in the middle (like you’re talking about) to make a powerful decision on what’s right for them. Why is my attraction to the opposite type of personality trait? And if that’s the case, there must be something about me that’s not really compatible to this group, otherwise that wouldn’t be the case. So, most of the people who are creating that issue within communities, with the personal outside that you’re talking about, themselves aren’t transcendent enough to recognize or really draw attention to the areas in which they are not compatible to the rest of the group. They’re like fend-setters, it’s the way that I put it.
Sahara:
I see a lot of spiritual women though, aren’t attracted to the spiritual dudes because, I don’t know, there’s so many issues as you already know. So, I see that being a big issue of girls are like “Yeah, let’s be Goddesses and dance around the fire” and because the men that they might be attracted to are more in their masculine, they’re like “I don’t want to do full-moon rituals every week with you guys” you know, and that being the difference.
Teal:
Oh I can see that one, yeah. I haven’t had the issue yet where a girl’s tried to bring a guy in, it’s always been the other way. This is really interesting though, because what you’re bringing up here, like normal guys not being on board with intentional community – I find that tends to go away the second that a guy finds his place. If you wanted to find the dysfunction that’s happening within men and women in the modern world – is that men don’t have a place anymore. Oh, this is a whole other chapter I could talk to you about. But men tend to thrive when they have a function; when they have a real role that they feel proud about and when they take ownership of the whole group, so. I’ve seen it happen that some of those totally non-traditional type males when they’re introduced in the right way, thrive in that environment, but a lot of these spiritual females are also like, it’s shadow-divine feminine, which is like “No, I’m not going to recognize your power, I have full power and I can do everything myself.” If you say that to a man – that’s it, it’s over. So, it’s almost like the spiritual women are in and out of themselves making it impossible for a male to come in to that type of community.
I love these topics, this is so much fun.
Sahara:
Yeah, it’s like the independent women. And then, another big shadow that I see is the money situation and just the embedded scarcity that’s within us, which is also just evoluptinary. Like if there’s: like, I was in this intentional type of community in Costa Rica, but, there wasn’t enough food and they had to kind of ration the food and people were just going into their most scarcity of; you know we would all definitely have enough food to survive but just that concept of “I don’t get to choose how much I’m going to eat” was so triggering for so many people.
So how do you think that we can more around? Like this is what we have as a community and it’s not always going to be what’s best for you.
Teal:
I’m sort of stuck there because I would never put myself in a situation like that; or any community member that I have. Like, for example, let’s say we had a community garden – let’s just pretend, let’s actually make this a pretend fair – let’s say you’re a part of the community and I’m part of the community, and we all got like twelve other people. We’ve got this community garden that only produces so much – a person coming into that would already be told this is what we’re getting into. So like, this is only going to yield this amount of results. If that is an issue for you, then it would be about coming together and brainstorming what is an okay way for people to get their own needs met on top of that? Instead of expecting that the other people are going to put it on them and this entitlement weight; and instead of telling people “No, your desire’s not going to happen, you need to live with it.” So, it’s almost like the way to navigate intentional community is to, anytime there is an issue, you bring everybody together, put all of the people’s best interest on the table to find that (I call it a Third Option) but of course it’s that place that makes it okay for all twelve people. And it sounds complicated but if you watch people do that at a table, it makes a lot more sense. So, it wouldn’t even be like – that’s why when you asked the question I was sort of stuttering because there would never be a point in an intentional community where you would look at people and say “You can’t fulfill on that desire.”
I’ve got this in my community for example; I’m the financial support for everyone – other intentional communities don’t function that way. Other intentional communities are a lot more, you know, equality driven when it comes to that when it comes to, like, we all put in $100 towards this property or whatever – that is not how mine functions. But that also means that I’m providing, this amount of money is food for a month and I’m putting this amount for a vacation per month and you know, whatever else it is. And if anybody wants anything on top of that, then they figure a way to get that money. But they have to do it, this is the whole thing about intentional community – you have to do it within the context of not injuring the people in the group. So it’s my job to help enable them to be able to do that, and their job to make sure it doesn’t negatively impact me. So, if we’re both taking each other’s best interest at heart we find that third option. So it would be something like this – right now actually, this is a good example. I’ve got a girl who lives in my community who’s a tech-freak, like, she needs money to buy new tech (it’s her obsession, that’s her love) – that’s not something I’m going to do for every person in my community and she doesn’t really expect it, it’s just that she needs to be able to have that additional money to do that with. So, my job, if I’m taking her best interest in this part of me, is to be like “Alright, I definitely need to make it possible for her to do that” and her job is “I don’t want that to impact heal so I’m gone when she needs me.” So, if I sit down like this and there’s no element of me being on you with you right now that has anything to do with her, so it doesn’t take anything away from me that she’s upstairs doing a session with somebody, getting money for that, she’ll go do a session, but I don’t feel the impact. So it’s about those, that’s the mastery of relationships – finding that third option that meets everybody’s best interests and if there is a genuine incompatibility (which is what’s happened several times with partners) it’s like you’re describing, if there’s genuine incompatibility then the whole group looks at incompatibility and finds the next best thing. So it’s like “Okay, so it’s maybe not the next best thing to live together in the same house but maybe you can like rent a house in the same town and we can see each other every four days or something like that.”
Sahara:
Yeah and that makes so much sense because you’re still playing into the economy, like, she can buy technology and things like this whereas we were in a mountain where there is not even electricity, so it was like whatever you had there was what you had. And I think just, it’s like you say, we were brought up like dogs that suddenly we’re in this new place that – it’s the movie The Beach (did you ever watch that, with Leonardo DiCaprio, back in the day?). At first we were all singing shamanic songs and then shit hit the fan real weird. And it just shows you it takes generations to undo those wounds and to really see that the survival of the whole is maybe more important than my immediate, what I even believe is survival which actually isn’t but I think I need this much to survive when I only need that much. It’s really hard to backtrack especially when evolutionary, so many times we have starved. So, it’s like within us.
Teal:
Did they prepare you well for the fact that it would be like that?
Sahara:
No, they were like “It’s going to be abundant and we’re all going to be so happy”, we were all like “Yeah, communal living” and then it was like (sound).
Teal:
That’s the issue then. I’ve actually fallen into this trap myself with my own intentional communities. It’s not something I have issue with right? Because I’m the one that set it up of course. My community is really, really compatible to me but doesn’t really – I’m not seeing where other people might have different needs or may have issues. So where I failed (which is exactly what you were describing right there) with communities that function in a very specific way, where there may not be an option. So you’re talking about intention where there is not an option for something – it’s good that we came down to this because that’s a whole different set up. For me that’s around fame actually (I’ll explain what I mean by that) but in those types of scenarios where I have failed is not preparing people and not even knowing what I need to prepare them on until the problem arises. So that when they’re entering into it, they are entering in saying “That’s right for me.” And I feel like I have prepared people before, they would have looked at it and “Oh, that’s actually not going to be right for me.” And I could have avoided the whole thing.
Sahara:
Are you all in one house together, all twelve of you?
Teal:
Yes.
Sahara:
Different rooms? And gardening and also buying food?
Teal:
Yes. We don’t garden because half the edge is not possible. Like, I don’t have anybody who’s passion yet, or thing is gardening and so that has not worked out. Down in Costa Rica I have a gardener who is local to the area, who does his own job or whatever, but right now this is the issue where I was about to get into with you.
There’s actually not a lot of people, and by not a lot I mean like .0% of people who would ever be compatible to my community because a lot of people conceptualize of community in terms of connection. So it’s about this equality, sort of like sharing type of the feeling where we may do our own little things but we always come together. This is not the foundation of a mission-based community and a mission-based community that is founded around one person as a figure head has an intense hierarchical structure because the whole survival of the whole entire group depends on that person functioning.
So the way that I want to explain it – you actually brought up this issue with that community as falling into the same category of what we run into all the time which is – for me to be performing is the way can live and it’s the foundation of our purpose here. Everybody who joins the community is like “I like what Teal’s doing; I want that mission to succeed so I’m jumping on board with that train.” But what they don’t really think about is that that means whose priority won – all moments of the day? I have an issue if I have a need – I’m the number one priority. If I say we’re picking up and moving to California, it doesn’t matter what anyone else wants, we’re moving to California. So, there’s a lot of non-negotiables in this type of a community that wouldn’t be a non-negotiable in another type community. And a lot of that is about preparing people in advance. It’s saying before people come in I want to know that when you have a trigger, it doesn’t matter. It’s like literally the opposite of what I teach; you know what I mean like. It has to be, that’s what people have got to get, it has to be. There’s no like “Teal’s going on stage in five minutes; oh, by the way, if you have a breakdown she can sit here and work you through the process” – that cannot happen. So people come in sort of expecting something completely different, and they get in and like “Oh my gosh, I didn’t know this was going to be so high-pressure; I didn’t know I couldn’t have any friends over to the house; I didn’t know that I’d be worried about security professionals at night time because who knows if somebody’s going to show up and try to climb over the gates.” So, it’s like the world that they experience is completely different but the way that this ties into and what you’re describing is that, when it comes to these non-negotiables within a community, then that’s about compatibility or not. Are you the type of person where living in a high-pressure environment is right for you? Are you the type of person who can take really (I mean this is true for you) the mission matter so much that it’s like “That actually matters more to me than having my own personal trigger right now and working through it.” One person would say “No!” and it would be right for them to say no. Another person would be like “Hell yeah!” and they’re more of a match. But people, this is the problem with socialization sort of setting you up to fail in intentional community because how often do we help a person know themselves? I mean, it’s been a bloody nightmare actually with my own community just having people come in and having to like make them aware of the process of everything that’s not right for them in this community; to realize what’s really right for them. So most people (this is my issue), most people what they’re looking at is the reality of the community can’t even really resource before they begin to really experience whether it’s right for them or not. And that’s sad to me because that’s something that should be happening far before adulthood, but we’re taught as people to ignore the way we feel. We’re taught to go upstream; we’re taught that it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel right, it’s right.
Sahara:
Yeah, we’re taught, like we said at the beginning, to only learn from hitting that wall 700mph and then realizing it, not realizing the destruction that creates, not just for you but for everyone who’s affected by that decision.
Teal:
Everyone, yeah.
Sahara:
And I think a lot of people love this idea of a community but they don’t know how to go about setting it up so they’re willing to just kind of like “Okay, I guess I could fit it into this box, it’s not really my ideal box, but I’ll fit into it just because I want to be a part of this thing” and it just never works out.
Teal:
Oh yeah, that’s a disaster.
Sahara:
So, for someone who’s listening who’s like “I want to create some sort of community but I’m not really sure where to even start, maybe like a baby community if we’re neighbors or something?” What do you recommend is a good first step for people who maybe haven’t fully realized themselves in this way either?
Teal:
What I recommend is to find the people who you think you’re most compatible with. But it can’t just be compatible – meaning what people will do that I have the most in common with – it also has to be who do I know that’s the most dedicated to maintaining a relationship, and that means resolve. And then when you have that answer, about those people, then you almost go backtrack (for most people is what’s most successful because most people don’t have a million dollars lying around) you almost backtrack to your room-mate years. So, it’s about finding a property; it’s about deciding upon how much money everybody’s going to contribute to that property, I mean based off of what’s happening in the community in terms of careers or whatever – one person could pull more on housework and the other can pull more financially, or it could just be goals anything; and once you agree together upon the structure, you move in (kind of as room-mates) but what makes it different is you’re not living separate lives in that house, you’re considering that you’re married to every person there. And of course an intentional community built up in sexuality is going to have different rules – some it’s like only sexuality with partners; others it’s like pretty free-love. And that’s another part of a structure that you’re agreeing to as a community on a very conscious way. You’ve got to be able to have those really uncomfortable conversations and the number one commitment in that community has to be to resolve. There can be no suppression in an intentional community – that’s like rule number one. So, anytime there is an issue or a rub, it has to be brought up with the intention of resolve. How can we make this feel good to all of us? It’s got to be the mottos operand of any group and from there, I mean, you can allow it to evolve because that’s what most financially successful for most people. You’ll get to the point of where it’s like “Do I really love living with this person or do I really not? I’ve lived with one of my intentional community members for 17 years now, and maybe, one day, that evolves to us living in different properties in the same house that’ll probably be dictated by whether he has children or not, you know. But that’s just because it’s a no-go for me to be filming and having that kid crying in the house. So then it’s like alright, because of that we know we want to stay together but we also, you know, I want him to be able to have a separate space so that he can have kids there and it doesn’t deal with my career and so that will dictate what the next move is, whether we’re getting a property with a sound-proof room or whether we’re getting a property where’s there’s multiple buildings. So, a community can kind of evolve as the needs within the community evolves, but as long as you’ve got that core commitment to resolving no matter what, it just gets easier and easier. I’ll tell you that, like, in the very beginning it’s just like a marriage. In the very beginning it’s like “Oh gosh, that’s a difference we had that I didn’t notice before” it gets uncomfortable and then all of a sudden it gets polished and you realize “I haven’t been in a conflict with this person for 13 years.” So, it’s like the better it gets – the better it gets. I used to say the easiest way for people to get into intentional community is that – find those people you love the most and move in as if you’re room-mates, but don’t act as if you’re room-mates – act as if you’re married. That means male-female too. I’ve got a female living with me and even though there’s nothing sexual that happens because that’s the priority of our community – it’s partners only and for sexuality; but emotional intimacy with everyone. I consider her a wife. It’s like, you know, she takes care of my needs, I take care of her needs; I want to know where she is all the time; it’s not just she’s going to be living her separate life. The food in our community is everyone’s food, so like, whatever is in the house is fair game – if I cook, I cook for everyone. But I mean it’s, I want people to get this idea that intentional community isn’t just healthy if it’s one thing, it’s going to be so unique to the talk-tale of personalities in that particular community. If I go to a Buddhist community where they brought these certain values, their community is going to look completely different than this other community, and I want people to be able to do that, to like create these unique communities (just like every marriage is unique and every lifestyle is unique) but it just feels super-good to them and it’s something that enables the well-being of all those people instead of is a detriment to any of them.
Sahara:
What’s your favorite part about living in an intentional community?
Teal:
There’s no loneliness. I mean, I’ve got to be honest, I grew up so lonely, it’s like, I don’t know how I lived. And what it feels like it’s just – you’re carried by people. It’s awesome in the good times, you’re just hanging out and you’re having this life experience together. There’s not a single memory I have that twelve other people have not had. So, it’s the thing that when you’re 80 it’s like “Oh, that time and that time” and you’re there for everyone’s growth and I have the same, and it depresses people but it’s like to love someone is to watch them die – which is pretty much what you’re doing. It’s like you’re watching this whole process take place in a person; you’re watching them evolve; you’re watching them have these ups and downs, and it’s just like watching this painting. And at the same time none of my life would be possible without this. I can tell you how many times I’ve been in deep trouble and it’s like “Do I ever have to wonder whether somebody’s there? No, not a single time!” And I could not do what I do in my profession without an intentional community. I have an international career as a woman who has a son – this is a nightmare. Like, I’m going to literally look in the face and be like “If you want to ruin your life, become a mother and have an international career” like, it is a disaster. I’d be dying as a woman; I would be literally dying without an intentional community today. Because in the beginning of my son’s life, I was like “I don’t want to have transient care-givers; I don’t want him get attached to a nanny, having her leave, have him to develop all these messed up behaviors – I want him to have consistent attachment figures. Not just one, I want him to be able to draw his needs from a plethora of different people who all have different ways of dealing with things, so he’s got this bigger tool-box. So, when I have to go for two weeks – guess who doesn’t have to go? The other mother he’s had his whole life. Guess who doesn’t have to go? – The other dad he’s had his whole life. So, Winter’s, my son’s got eight parents actually, in terms of the people who are most involved with him – eight parents! If one of those parents goes down, if I have a bad day or I get called last second to be on an interview, it’s not the end of the world for this child. And it’s enabled me to have what I have in terms of this huge high-pressure thing without losing my mind as a parent. I’m waxing poetic about intentional community at the same time realizing it’s hard; it is not simple being in a marriage with twelve people or twenty-two people (or however large your community is) it’s hard even with one.
Sahara:
But I think we’re all receiving that message that this is the direction that humanity is moving towards and especially I think with single-moms as the beginning of like “This is just so not working” of even just a couple single-moms coming together.
Teal:
Yes, oh and that’s actually. So, right now this is what’s really inspiring me the most, because in Scandinavia they’re actually starting a lot of intentional community-based properties; these are huge apartment complex buildings where people are moving in, into this intentional community type environments – so even though families have these different apartments, there’s like a communal (one person picks up all the kids from school one day; one person cooks for the whole community one day). That is so manageable – and everybody that I’ve talked to that is in those communities is like, you know, it’s the same thing – there are shadows in every community, but they’re like “I never want to go back – this is crazy awesome.” And I’m very vocal on the fact that there shouldn’t be such a thing as a single mother – that’s not a thing you guys. There’s no way for you to say “Being a single mother is totally possible” – no single mother can actually look at you in the face and genuinely say that works for them. It doesn’t work; it shouldn’t be something that is a thing for us.
So, yeah, intentional community is one of the greatest solutions for women who are facing single motherhood. And back to this whole thing too – you know what’s interesting – I just said it’s really difficult to be married to twelve people but here’s the other thing that I just realized – I’ve had a lot of times where I’ve had issues with one person in the community, and I’m not even the one that deals with it. It’s like somebody else sits down and “Let’s talk about this, I noticed that you’re feeling a little bit of friction.” And maybe it relates to some sort of an internal wound – it will be another intentional community member who is working with that person and they come to me and like “Oh I figured it out, it’s because of the shadow thing” and it’s either like “I do need something to change” and then we brainstorm or it’s like “Whatever is fine” you know. So, it’s like you’re not even taking care of your own marriage. Oh man!
Sahara:
Totally and I think maybe in a way, in your past lives, do you think you are all connected in some sort of way and have this like contract come together in the home and go on a fast-track to spirituality through bringing up each other’s triggers in this way?
Teal:
Yes. Our joke is that this is the Star Ship Enterprise. It’s totally like that, you got all of these – like, each person within the community is such a character in themselves, but you put us together and it’s like this hodge-podge characters that all have this same drive towards this one mission of the Universe. It’s pretty funny, yeah. We’re the Star Ship Enterprise.
Sahara:
I love that! Well I think this is really going to inspire people because I know so many people who are leaving cities right now and I know that’s something you are speaking about of us being more self-sustainable and not in a fear-based way but just knowing that we could survive even if systems are not working the way that they are working.
So, I think, at least knowing that you’re not alone to fend for yourself is so important and comforting.
Teal:
Yes, I think so too. I’m really excited for people to try this out. And quite frankly we’re going to be pushed by a collapsing society into that being the only way people can afford to live anymore.
Sahara:
So, like it or not, it’s happening. Yes! Well thank you so much for sharing all of your wisdom with us; for always being such a light and such a guiding force for it. I am so grateful; I always love your daily updates and your videos, and all of the things that you share. So, thank you for being on the podcast again.
Teal:
Thanks for having me again, it was wonderful.
Sahara:
How eye-opening was that?! You can always trust Teal to really give it to you raw, unfiltered, straight from her divine source. That is what I love about her, she is always speaking about what people are afraid to go into; and sometimes it can be dark; and sometimes it can be unfiltered and that’s what we’re here for. We’re here for complete understanding of truth, whether we like it or not it is important to see it all, because when we can see it all we can move forward to the New Paradigm.
So, thank you to Teal for sharing her magic with us. Be sure to check out her YouTube channel, it is amazing. So many gems that she drops there regularly and she is such an incredible person to further learn from.
So, if you loved this episode, I know you will love our Goddess Isis circle this month in Rose Gold Goddesses. I’m talking Divine Feminine; Magic; Alchemy; transmuting your Shadows; embodying your fullest expression; working with your maternal lineage, uncovering shame around your femininity; trusting yourself; trusting your intuition; trusting your access to Source; learning about the magic of Goddess Isis – why she’s spoken about so much; why she is such a primordial Goddess and important Goddess to learn about when you are stepping into the sacred feminine work, and I am super-excited to just share this all with you.
We’ve got some rituals in the circle; my personal breath-work practice; my Goddess breath-work practice I do every single day that literally transformed my life; and so much more. There is a full 1:45h, so you can get it on its own at rosegoldgoddesses.com/Isis or for the same price join Rose Gold Goddesses for a month and get our ten other Goddess circles. You can make this month like your Goddess month. And access to my Healing and Embodiment Through Dance workshop which is 3.5 hours dancing with me, learning about tribal fusion belly-dancing, healing trauma, somatic healing and all of these things through dance and my Awaken Your Powers Master Class with Shaman Durek; dozens of workshops by experts from Highest Self Podcast – experts in the community. Everything from hand-drumming to plant-care/self-care to protecting your business legally to financial abundance. Everything is there for you in Rose Gold Goddesses – this is one membership that when you join you’re going to be “Holy crap, how did I do life before this” and I’m super-excited to share it with you.
So, you can get it over at rosegoldgoddesses.com – the link is in the show notes and I am super-excited to meet you inside.
If you loved this episode, I would love to send you a free gift which is the first half of my unreleased book “Eat Right for Your Mind Body Type“. This is a different book than “EatFeelFresh“. My first book ever which is not released anywhere, and I am gifting it exclusively to those who leave a review of my podcast in the iTunes store. So all you’ve got to do is head over to iTunes where you’re maybe listening to this podcast and leave a review, take a screenshot that you’ve left it and email it over to me at [email protected] and I will send you back the first half of my unreleased book “Eat Right for Your Mind Body Type“, which goes all into Ayurveda, Doshas, plant-based nutrition, body types – all of the things in a really fun and engaging way. So this is my gift to you for free for supporting the podcast. Every single review I personally read. It really helps the podcast be listened to by more people so we can raise the vibration of the planet together, and I am soul grateful to have you on this journey.
Thank you so much for listening and I’ll see you on the next episode. Namaste.
Episode 302: Spiritual Activism, Millennials, Empathy + Intentional Community with Teal Swan
By Sahara Rose