Have you ever met someone and felt like you’d known them forever? Or gone through a relationship so intense that it seemed to rearrange your whole life? From a spiritual perspective, these connections are often the result of a soul contract.

As we begin a new year, I want to share what soul contracts are, how to recognize them and how to complete them so you can move forward with lightness.

What Is a Soul Contract?

A soul contract is an agreement your soul made before you were born. Before incarnating, many traditions teach that we choose the lessons we want to learn and the souls who will help us learn them. Your parents, siblings, great loves, best friends and even your biggest challenges may all be part of these agreements.

In my book Discover Your Dharma, I write about how we’re here to move from karma to dharma. Karma is the unfinished business our soul carries. Dharma is our soul’s purpose. Soul contracts are often the vehicles that move us from one to the other.

Types of Soul Contracts

Family Contracts

We choose our families as the microcosm of the patterns we’ve come to transform. That parent who challenged you most may have been the soul who loved you enough to play that role. I explore this in my post on the father wound.

Karmic Love Contracts

These are the intense relationships that show up to complete something from another lifetime. They often feel fated and end once the lesson is learned. Read more in what is a karmic relationship.

Soul Family Contracts

These are the friends and teachers who feel like home instantly. They’re here to support your mission and you’re here to support theirs.

Sacred Union Contracts

Some souls agree to come together to build something, like a family, a body of work or a lineage of love. Read more in how to call in sacred union.

Dharma Contracts

These are the agreements your soul made with the world itself, the gifts you promised to share. Explore yours in what is dharma.

Signs You Have a Soul Contract With Someone

• Instant recognition, as if you’ve met before.
• Repeating synchronicities around them.
• The connection triggers your deepest wounds and your biggest growth.
• You can’t seem to walk away, even when it’s hard.
• Your life changes direction after meeting them.
• Dreams or past-life memories involving them.

Can Soul Contracts Be Broken?

I prefer the word complete. Every soul contract has a purpose. When the lesson has been learned, the contract is fulfilled, and you’re free to move on. Staying after the contract is complete is where suffering often comes in. We hold on to the person when the soul has already graduated.

You also have free will. You can choose to learn a lesson the gentle way, with awareness, rather than repeating it over and over. That’s the gift of conscious spirituality.

How to Complete a Soul Contract

1. Name the Lesson

Journal: “What did this connection come to teach me?” Look for the pattern. Was it self-worth, boundaries, forgiveness, speaking up?

2. Thank the Soul

Even if they hurt you, their soul agreed to play this role so you could grow. You can thank the soul and still hold boundaries with the human.

3. Forgive

Forgiveness frees you. It doesn’t mean what happened was okay. It means you’re no longer carrying it. I share my own forgiveness journey in Maybe This Love Story Is Really About Me.

4. Speak the Completion

Light a candle and say, “I honor the agreement we made. I’ve learned the lesson. I release this contract with love, across all time, space and dimensions. We are both free.”

5. Clear the Cords

Follow up with the cord-clearing ritual to release any lingering energy.

Write a New Contract for 2027

Here’s the beautiful part. Once you’ve completed old contracts, you get to consciously choose new ones. Write a letter from your soul to the year ahead. What lessons are you ready to learn with ease? Which souls do you want to meet? What gifts are you ready to share? Sign it and place it on your altar.

Soul Contracts and Your Childhood

One of the most healing ideas I’ve ever worked with is that we chose our childhoods. This idea can bring up resistance at first. Why would anyone choose pain? Sit with it a while and it starts to look different. Our families give us a front-row seat to the exact patterns we came here to transform.

If you grew up with an angry parent, you may have come here to learn peace and teach it. If you grew up feeling invisible, you may have come here to find your voice and help others find theirs. The wound and the medicine are often the same shape. This is how karma becomes dharma. Read more in my post on how to remember your worth.

When a Soul Contract Ends Painfully

Sometimes a contract ends with a slammed door. A betrayal. A sudden goodbye. A ghosting. It can feel unbearable to think your soul agreed to this.

Here’s what I’ve come to believe. The ending can be painful and the lesson can still be a gift. You get to hold both. You can grieve the person, rage at what happened and also, one day, feel grateful for who you became because of it. There’s no timeline for that gratitude. It arrives when it arrives. If you’re in the middle of this kind of ending, my posts on healing from betrayal and healing after divorce may help.

Soul Contract Journal Prompts

• Who in my life has taught me the most, and what was the lesson?
• Which relationship keeps repeating, with different faces?
• What might my soul have wanted to learn by choosing my family?
• Which contracts feel complete, and which still feel open?
• What gifts am I here to share with the world?

Let your answers surprise you. Your soul has been leaving you clues your whole life.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a soul contract?

A soul contract is an agreement your soul made before birth with other souls to learn specific lessons and fulfill a purpose together in this lifetime.

How do I know if I have a soul contract with someone?

Common signs include instant recognition, synchronicities, intense growth, difficulty walking away and major life shifts after meeting them.

Can you break a soul contract?

Soul contracts are completed rather than broken. Once you’ve learned the lesson, you can consciously release the agreement with gratitude.

Are all soul contracts romantic?

No. Soul contracts exist with family, friends, teachers, children and even challenges or places.

Listen to the Highest Self Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.