This week on Highest Self Podcast I am back again with my bestie, Rosie Acosta (we just did an epic episode all about the science of attraction last month!) to dive into WHAT we both would have done differently on our spiritual journeys. We are sharing ALL the greatest downloads and realizations we have accumulated over the years, and I’ll be curious how many of you feel similarly about the different topics we dive into in this episode. Rosie and I are always doing micro-podcasts in our day-to-day convos so it only feels right to share some of the wisdom with YOU!
Rosie and I love to take big concepts and apply them to our lives with the intention of how they can make us better humans and have more of the things that we desire and that’s exactly what this episode is all about! We dive into spiritual bypass, shadow work, lessons of ayahuasca/plant medicine, controlling your internal environment, resistance being your biggest teacher, surrender/non-attachment, the power of discernment on your spiritual path, and so so much more!
Whether you’re just beginning your spiritual journey or you’ve been in it for a while, this episode will leave you with lots of juicy downloads and inspo to integrate into your life/spiritual practices. Come share on my Instagram post about this episode some of the things you would have done differently on your spiritual journey!
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Transcript
Episode #505: Real Talk: What We Would’ve Done Differently On Our Spiritual Journeys with Rosie Acosta
By Sahara Rose
[00:00] Sahara
That’s really what shadow work is, it’s to bring the shadows into the light, not to stay there and then go hunting for other shadows and become the fucking shadow ghostbuster, but rather to look at the shadow, which, often, you don’t even need to hunt for it, it’s going to show up in your life when it’s ready, because, sometimes, we’re looking for things we’re actually not ready to go down those avenues yet, I see that happen too. And it’s like, when that thing is ready to show up, something in your life is going to happen, take the full opportunity to dive in.
But there comes a point, and I was just telling you that I reached that point, that it’s like, sometimes, things can get overly processed. And it’s like, when you’re eating a meal, you can over-chew something too and then it’s like, okay, now you can look at it from every angle, and see the conclusions, and see the patterns, and see this, and have a million names for it, but it’s like, also, you, at some point, just have to let it go and live your life. And yeah, life has pain and suffering, and there’s also joy and beauty, and it doesn’t need to be so hard. And now, on the other end of the shadow work portal, I’m, like, more high vibe and energy, and I’m just like, I just want to, like, DJ and dance and, like, have all of the fun because there’s nothing in my consciousness I’m afraid of.
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[01:16] Sahara
Welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast, I am so excited to have you here! My name is Sahara Rose and I love taking spirituality and making it modern, fun, grounded, relatable, spirituality with a side of twerk, that’s what I like to call it. And I’m bringing back a fan favorite, a personal favorite, my bestie, who was on the Podcast last month, we were talking about the science of attraction. And we basically live in a podcast, we’re constantly voice-noting back and forth, like, you know those friends that you just have such deep conversations with, that like, you’re like “This shit should be aired”, that’s, like, all of our conversations. I mean, we’re going down rabbit holes of, like, human consciousness and, like, is life suffering or is it a choice, and, like, big existential questions, but then, like, really fun stuff too, like – I mean, you’ll feel the vibe. We like to take these really big lofty concepts and apply them into “Okay, how’s this going to make me a better human and have more of the things that I desire?”
[02:11] Sahara
So, we were voice-noting back and forth, and, you know, one of the things I feel like our conversations keep coming back to, which is a huge universal question, is, like, is life pain and suffering and how can we make it more joyful without spiritual bypassing? And like, this concept of shadow work, and this is such a huge thing in the collective, but when does it become too much? And we started talking about it, and to me, it really came back to, what have we learned now in our spiritual journeys that we did not know about 10, 15 years ago?
My spiritual journey really, first, began when I was 12 and I began practicing yoga, but then, more so when I was 23 and I had my big spiritual awakening and was living in India. And she’ll share more about her journey of her awakening.
[02:54] Sahara
But I feel like, even in the past decade, we have grown so much as a conscious community, and our understanding of these things, and the ways that we apply them into our lives. We wanted to have this conversation, like, in a today’s version of us, what we wish we would have known and what we would have done differently, to see if any of these things can help you. Maybe you’re just starting your spiritual journey or you’ve been in it for a while as well, maybe there are little awarenesses that are helpful to have that, like, put together these different things that you may have learned about before that it’s like “Okay, now I can see how it comes together, and now I can see how this is actually going to apply into my life”.
[03:29] Sahara
So, we’re going to go there, this is going to be a fun Episode, so, let’s welcome Rosie back to The Highest Self Podcast.
[03:34] Rosie
Thank you so much for having me! I feel like I’ve been here and I’ve not left since the last time.
[03:39] Sahara
As you should, queen! So, I’ll just ask you this again, make it snappy – what makes you your highest self?
[03:45] Rosie
What makes me my highest self? Okay. I, right now, I think what makes me my highest self is just being in my sanctuary. I realize how important it is to be in a space where you could just allow yourself to unwind and just be who you are.
You know, the type of work that we do requires us to have this public persona, and one of the things that I’ve realized over the last 15 years that I’ve been doing this work, that I really value those moments in my time, and in my space, and life, where I can just be myself and not have to worry. Not that I’m worried, you know, I feel like I do a really good job at being exactly who I am, but actually, I want to talk about this, this is part of that shadow work aspect that we’ve been talking about a lot.
[04:38] Sahara
Tell us your shadows!
[04:39] Rosie
Aha! Oh my god, I’m just going to tell everybody the things that I don’t tell everybody.
[04:44] Sahara
This is a safe space.
[04:44] Rosie
It is. It’s fine, nobody’s listening, right?
[04:48] Sahara
Just a bunch of strangers, don’t worry about it. Keep telling us all your traumas.
[04:51] Rosie
I’ll tell you all my traumas, all of my deepest, darkest secrets. Okay, you heard it here first, it’s exclusive, make sure we put this on the reel.
Yes, but that’s what I’m grateful for. I’m grateful for the space to able to be just myself.
[05:03] Sahara
So, what’s the question? What are we working with, honey?
[05:06] Rosie
Okay, so, here’s the thing, right. Like, this whole idea of shadow work, where does it come from? I mean, the definition was made popular by Karl Jung, right, with this idea of doing the work to uncover the unconscious parts of ourselves that directly impact our decision-making, they impact our life, they are the parts of us that we don’t show the world, they’re the parts of us that, for some, it’s trauma, for some it’s something we’re ashamed about, they’re just some aspects of our modus operandi that we don’t bring light to.
And so, I love that the idea of shadow work is summed up by a quote that he has, that says “Until we make the unconscious conscious, it will direct our life and we will call it fate”. So…
[06:02] Sahara
Yes, Karl Jung, you got that!
[06:08] Rosie
This is like the sort of textbook and then it’s like “Okay, but how do we really do this?”, like “How do we really do this work?” And we see it all day long on social media, people doing shadow work or they’re in their portals or they’re really trying to discover. And I’m into that, I try to get it. I know that we all have to go through these cycles, initiations, cycles of awareness. That’s what it is, right? Shadow work is our ability to do the work to make the unconscious conscious.
My issue is, at what point does it become too much, too much, where it’s just completely taken over your life, your being, and at what point do you find that balance between “I’m doing the shadow work”, but also, like, you need to live your life, right?
I mean, here’s the thing too, we have this idea, this belief, that life is supposed to be this, like, joy ride, right? When we make plans and we do things in our lives, careers, relationships, family, etc., we’re just planning for the good stuff, but rarely – and when shit goes wrong, we’re like “Oh my god, what’s happening? Like, something’s wrong, I’m a failure, or I’m not enough”, or there’s some portion of the programming that has gone array but it’s like, that’s just part of life, you know.
So, I’m curious what your take is on this, and I want to dive into it, I’ve got…
[07:41] Sahara
Whoop, there it is! I mean, this is the fucking talk of the century, we’ve been living it.
So, okay…
[07:50] Rosie
Where do we begin?
[07:51] Sahara
I was, for sure, the type of Abraham Hicks listening, I’m just going to live in joy, if I focus on joy, that’s going to become my reality and I’ve seen so much trauma in my family, so I don’t want to focus on that shit, I want to focus on creating the life that I want to create.
So, that was, like, my background and my, like, spiritual understanding, and still is a big part of who I am, I am a joy priestess at my core, I’m here to make the world a more ecstatic place, and DJ, and dance, and, like, that’s just part of me. And because I didn’t choose the shadow work, the shadow work chose me, now I’m wearing all black, okay?! No, but…
So, for me, I would look at people who are, like, addicted to doing another plant medicine ceremony, “I need another cup of ayahuasca”, “I need to do, now, this training and that training, and that training”, and I would, like, look at them and I would be like “There’s such privilege in that”, you know, because a lot of people can’t choose to do shadow work.
[08:45] Rosie
Absolutely.
[08:45] Sahara
You know? Go to anyone in Iran, or Mexico, or most of the world, do they have time, like “Hey guys, for the next couple of days, I’m just going to be, like, diving into my shadows”, it’s like, no, they’re living it. They’re actually escaping it, from a daily basis that, like, you know, when you’re living in a war-torn country, like my escaped from, is like, you need to focus on what’s positive for survival.
So, I think part of me was trained to be like that. A lot of immigrants, we didn’t have the chance to be sad, we didn’t have the opportunity to take a mental health day, like, my parents had to fucking work, you know. And that’s how I grew up, of just, like “You’re blessed to be in the United States right now”. So, I’m just like, I would see these, like, people being addicted to shadow work, and to me, it felt like this escapism of like “I don’t have enough problems in my life, so I need to go find problems to give myself a sense of self-importance”, and I’m like “What a privilege is that!” Bless it, I believe in Maslow’s hierarchy that, yeah, you don’t have to worry about survival, you even have your needs met, you even have some luxuries met, that you get to reach self-actualization, but how is this permeating into the world?
I would see a lot of spiritual communities, like in Bali, and in Tulum, and in Thailand, that it’s just spiritual people doing all this shadow work and all this healing, but they’re only teaching each other and it’s never actually going to the people that it’s meant to serve. And it’s like, so, what’s really the point of this? You say “Oh, I’m here changing consciousness”, but you’re not actually talking to anyone outside of your buddle.
So, I would say I came from this, kind of, that was, like, the main perspective that I held. However, through my divorce, I had no choice to go to another perspective, which was “Okay, what were the things that I wasn’t seeing?”
And, you know, you can focus on the joy and get by, but it doesn’t mean the darkness is not lurking around the corner.
[10:32] Rosie
Yeah.
[10:33] Sahara
And that was something that I was unaware of. Like, I thought if I just focus on what’s good, only good will show up, and that’s not the truth. I wanted it to be, but it’s not the truth.
So, for me, I had to how into, how was my childhood related to this, how was my ancestral lineage related to this, how is my childhood related to my dad’s childhood, related to my grandma’s childhood, related to my grandpa’s childhood, and all the traumas that are passed down, and how, also, it’s all divine because it brought me here, in this moment, with this awareness that I have today.
And I would say the past 6 months of my life have been predominantly me doing shadow work, you know. And I’m so grateful for it because I wouldn’t have the amount of light that I have right now, without going into the darkness. Was it a privilege that I got to do therapy and somatic healing, and all of these things? Yes, 100% it was a privilege! Most people lose their husbands in war and have to, like, provide for their kids the next day. And just because it’s a privilege, doesn’t make it wrong, doesn’t make us feel like we should be shameful of it.
[11:34] Rosie
Yeah, it doesn’t make it less important, it doesn’t make it any less worthy of attention, compassion and care.
[11:41] Sahara
And it actually is healing your family because, now, the awarenesses that I’m having now, of different patterns that have been passed along through my family, I’m sharing them with my family members, which, triggers some of them and awakens others, and it’s all divine.
So, I would say that shadow work, if you have the capacity to do it, will change your life more than anything else, and it’s going to happen regardless. So, you either choose to go into it and you choose to sweep what is going on in your attic, or you can let that shit linger, linger, linger, until there’s fucking bats everywhere and then you’re going to be like “Well, I was just focusing on the view outside”, rather than what was happening in your own home.
[12:18] Rosie
Yeah. It’s like everything else, right? I see people in that same state that you’re talking about, in these communities, where they’re just working with each other and they’re not expanding, or proliferating what they’re learning to others. Which, to me, I think this is where I get very cynical in that spiritual, wellness, community realm is, because I see, okay, this is very important work that people are doing, that they’re talking about, but are they actually integrating the lessons, you know, are they actually integrating what is happening, are they integrating these realizations that they’re having, the unconscious coming conscious, are they actually able to…?
[13:03] Sahara
Integrating and being able to of service with it.
[13:05] Rosie
Exactly. You know, being able to share that message with others. You know, there’s a fine line between “I’m doing shadow work and I’m being selfish, right, I’m just thinking about myself”. I mean, think about somebody that’s innately self-serving, you give them an opportunity to do some shadow work, they’re just going to perpetuate more of that self-served nature, right? So, how do we learn that discernment?
And this is why I love all of these, and I’ll get back to the point, of what brought us to this conversation. But you know, you talked about, in the intro, about your journey to awakening, like, what brought you here, and I think, for a lot of us, these contemplative practices like mindfulness, meditation, yoga, any type of spiritual work, it allows us to contemplate, to actually inquire within, that’s the whole purpose, that’s what we’re doing. But it’s not just a matter of looking in and doing the work of going into those depths, going into the portals, you actually have to come out at some point and do the work of integrating and changing, like, that’s the catalyst right there. What are you doing in your life with the information that you’re being given? Are you hoarding it and just continuing to do more of that hoarding of information or are you actually out there talking about this to people?
You know, one of the benefits of doing this type of work, and what you do so well, is that, you’re going through these challenges in your life, you’re going through this very deep self-healing, transformative experience, but you are sharing and reciprocating it, you’re doing this Podcast, you’re writing, you’re talking to people, you’re learning other people’s experiences, you’re being with, right? It’s the basis of compassion, is to be with, that is the definition of compassion.
And I think this is one of the things that also gets overlooked, the idea of compassion, how do we then do this shadow work and practice, not only the compassion of the self, but compassion for other people? It has made you so much more – you were already an empathetic person, but this made you so much more empathetic, right? I mean, it’s completely changed your world view. And I think this is really the way to do shadow work properly, to be able to reflect and to see – I don’t know that you’ve shared a lot of the stuff that you and I talk about, but you’ve really shifted your world view. I mean, you’ve turned your belief system completely upside down, and I think that’s what we need to do sometimes, when we’re faced with adversities like this, you know. But I think it’s the balance, right, the balancing act of how much is too much and at what point are we done. This was one of the other questions…
[16:02] Sahara
At what point are we done, and also, like, are we actually doing shadow work? Because a lot of people think they’re doing shadow work, but they’re not fucking doing shadow work.
[16:09] Rosie
We’re going there.
[16:10] Sahara
We’re going to go in now! Okay! Okay! But a lot of people think shadow work is “I’m just going to write about all the things that I’m sad and angry about, and I don’t have, and I’m going to vent, and I’m going to create all these boundaries, now, around me and have all these rules of how you’re going to talk to me because I know myself, and this is who I am, and if you can’t fit this criteria of what I want, then you’re out of my life!”, and like, they think that that’s what shadow work is. And then yeah, the thing about shadows is, they don’t end. You could spend the rest of your life finding more and more shadows, and you will find them. And we’re never going to get to the bottom of, you know, I had a friend of mine and she sits on the medicine, and she was like “By my 25th cup, I was healing my great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandmother’s trauma, and it’s like, she’s just like “Who the fuck are you?” It’s like, at what point does – when does it end?
So, I came to this awareness with myself you know, because, after my divorce, I was like “I’m going to go in, like, I’m going to use this as, like, the ultimate soil for my transformation and growth, I’m going to be open to any healing experience possible, look at anything that I might have not wanted to look at and, literally, make this my life”. And I did that in Egypt, and Bali, and Dubai, and then, like, many, many tools and modalities, most recently sitting down with grandmother ayahuasca, which was something I always had fear around doing because, truthfully, I was afraid of what I would see, you know.
And I think a lot of people in this, like, more manifestation and Abraham Hicks space, they’re afraid of shadow work because they’re afraid of what is actually going to show up.
So, for me, and that was the ultimate of any kind of shadow work, because when you’re under any form of plant medicine, but especially an energy like ayahuasca that’s like, a grandmother, and will put you in your place. I mean, you saw it, like, she will tell you as it is.
[18:03] Rosie
Without sugar-coating it.
[18:04] Sahara
Sometimes with love, but not really.
[18:06] Rosie
Not really. It’s very direct.
[18:08] Sahara
And it takes you into portals, and then it’s like, I was like “Oh wow, some of these portals, you have no choice”, I was pretty much in an ayahuasca ceremony for four days after, and because it continued to teach me lessons and it continued to teach me lessons, and I was, like, taken to my knees with the awe of the wisdom that these plants have of like, the fact that we can remember any memory in our entire lives, they’re always available for us, we just don’t have the neuropathway for it. I’m remembering things I’ve never thought about before, and some of these things are dark, and they’re heavy, and some of these things, I don’t know if they’re even real or not, and like, that’s actual shadow work.
When you’re actually doing shadow work, like, while I was in it, I was like “Oh, I could totally see how someone could get depressed”, you know, doing a lot of shadow work. And in one of my days, I was like “Oh my god, this is actually what it feels like to be depressed, I’ve never felt like this before”, because it’s like, you’re seeing all these shadows and all this trauma in your whole family and you’re just like “What do we do with this now?” And then, the final night of my ceremony, it showed me, like, the beauty of it all, and how it’s all connected, and how all of our traumas are what became our gifts, should we choose that path.
And it’s like, so, yeah, you could go back and try to reparent and re-heal your parent’s and grandparent’s and grandparent’s, but it’s like, had that not happened as it was, you wouldn’t be here right now.
[19:25] Rosie
Yeah.
[19:26] Sahara
And I think that’s really what shadow work is, it’s to bring the shadows into the light, not to stay there and then go hunting for other shadows and become the fucking shadow ghostbuster, but rather to look at the shadow, which, often, you don’t even need to hunt for it, it’s going to show up in your life when it’s ready, because, sometimes, we’re looking for things we’re actually not ready to go down those avenues yet, I see that happen too. And it’s like, when that thing is ready to show up, something in your life is going to happen, take the full opportunity to dive in.
But there comes a point, and I was just telling you that I reached that point, that it’s like, sometimes, things can get overly processed. And it’s like, when you’re eating a meal, you can over-chew something too and then it’s like, okay, now you can look at it from every angle, and see the conclusions, and see the patterns, and see this, and have a million names for it, but it’s like, also, you, at some point, just have to let it go and live your life. And yeah, life has pain and suffering, and there’s also joy and beauty, and it doesn’t need to be so hard. And now, on the other end of the shadow work portal, I’m, like, more high vibe and energy, and I’m just like, I just want to, like, DJ and dance and, like, have all of the fun because there’s nothing in my consciousness I’m afraid of. And that, to me, is what shadow work is about.
[20:33] Rosie
Yeah, why do you think, now, and obviously, for me, as a friend of yours, I can see it as a direct result of what you’ve gone through, but why do you feel like you’re able to be more fully who you are now, as opposed to before?
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[22:15] Sahara
Well, that’s the beauty of shadow work, that, when you can experience deeper levels of your own pain and suffering, on the other side, you have deeper levels of your love and your joy.
Like, before this, would I be like, I’m a love devotee? No, I wouldn’t have said that, now, I’m, like, writing poems on love all the time, I love love, I’m like “Rosie, tell me a love story”, I love love. And it’s like, because I’ve experienced what it’s like to lose that, you know, that it makes you realize the importance of these things.
[22:46] Rosie
Yeah.
[22:46] Sahara
So, I believe that, what shadow work can help us do, is to have more range.
[22:51] Rosie
Yeah.
[22:51] Sahara
So, when you have more range, you’re more versatile, you have more spectrum that I can be with you and crying and then be with you and laughing, because I’m more alive. And I feel that’s the beauty of what shadow work provides us, it’s the richness and aliveness, which is ultimately why we’re here on this planet.
[23:10] Rosie
Yeah. It gives you more of a capacity to be who you are and also accept others as they are, because it gives you that different perspective, it shines that light into, not only your hidden areas but also, potentially having the compassion to somebody else’s work that’s not…
[23:30] Sahara
Yeah. I think you need to be ready for it. I don’t think you can rush the process because if you don’t have the tools and the foundation, and then you step into an ayahuasca ceremony, that could drive you crazy.
[23:39] Rosie
What is this whole ayahuasca thing? Like, everybody’s on this whole thing now, but how does, to me, as an outsider, obviously, I say that because I’ve never done plant medicine before, but I’m obviously very familiar with it. Like, some of my family members have done it, and it’s, you know, like, very traditional in my grandmother’s culture to do it, but I have just these different, sort of – I think it’s great, I really do, and obviously, I’ve had my own experience with it, I’ve not done it myself.
[24:11] Sahara
She just channeled its energy.
[24:13] Rosie
I’ll leave it at that. But I think, sometimes what I see is, the curiosity is enough for somebody to go do this. And the way that I was raised was, there has to be an initiation before that happens, meaning, it’s medicine, you take medicine, when? When you’re sick, when you’re unwell. You don’t just take it because you’re curious and everybody on Instagram is posting about it and going to these retreats, and you know, having these, you know, like, ayahuasca, healing ancestral lineage.
[24:48] Sahara
Five-star, all-inclusive.
[24:50] Rosie
You know,all-inclusive. I’m not trying to, like, bash it or anything, I’m genuinely just concerned, at times, with the level of, I don’t know, kind of, like a casual nature of how, sometimes, people talk about it.
And recently, one of my students was telling me that, yeah, they were, like, in some apartment, out here in Hollywood, just doing ayahuasca, you know, for the last couple of weekends, and I was like “Oh, two weekends”, and she’s like “No, we’ve been doing it every weekend, since the beginning of the year”, that’s a lot of weekends.
[25:24] Sahara
And not enough integration, that you’re not actually learning from it.
[25:27] Rosie
Exactly! Because, how are you doing it every weekend and not giving yourself that moment of – you’ve literally been on this medicine for months, like, what does that do?
[25:36] Sahara
Like, I, 100%, like, held your exact your perspective until my ceremony, and now I can see why, not that someone would want, I don’t know why the fuck you would want to do it every weekend, it sounds like not how I want to spend my weekend.
[25:50] Rosie
It sounds, to me, kind of terrifying a little bit, right?
[25:52] Sahara
Well, your first ceremony will, because it’s everything you’ve ever held onto in your consciousness, all coming to surface at once. And I’m someone who’s committed to my healing path, for my whole life, but especially the past decade. So, I’ve done a lot of coaching, and therapy, and hypnotherapy, and past life regressions, and the list goes on. And it was still so much for me, that I can’t imagine not doing personal development.
[26:15] Rosie
Yeah, but you had the foundation.
[26:17] Sahara
Exactly, so I would not suggest it as a first experience for anyone. I would say, like, when you feel like you know yourself so well, that it’s like – like, for me, before the ceremony, I was like “I’m genuinely so curious what could come up”, because I’ve done so much shadow work that I’m, like, I don’t even know what – like, could there be anything I’m still not seeing, and there was, you know.
So, I would say to really pay it the respect that it deserves, do your healing work on this level because your problems have been created here on this level. You don’t need to, sometimes, go talk to your ancestors, sometimes you just need to talk to your parent who is alive, you know. There’s a lot of work that we can do right here, that, sometimes, we want to, like, see some sacred geometry, but it’s actually about, like – the sacred geometry, it’s almost like, that just opens up the portal and then it’s going to show you all of the darkness and all the things that you’ve suppressed within you.
That being said, I understand why, when someone sits with the medicine, it’s like, the things that you do, feels like you’re just scratching the surface, compared to what you see.
[27:19] Rosie
I see, yeah.
[27:19] Sahara
Because when you’re – for example, let’s say, when I did EMDR or something, I’m telling them my side of the story, but it’s just based on what I’m telling them, it’s not the whole picture.
[27:27] Rosie
Right, your perspective, right.
[27:30] Sahara
But when you sit with plant medicine, it brings up all of these perspectives that only you know, but it’s also coming from something greater than you, that I learned information about, like, my grandfather that no one told me about, that I could’ve told one story about my grandma was in a forced child marriage with my grandfather, and it was so hard for her, and she cried, and she told me she was raped, and you know, and then you’re going to be like “Wow, that’s so sad”, and now, this is my story.
But for example, just on that story, what the medicine taught me was, at that time, my grandma’s father wanted the best husband possible for her, so he chose the man that he really respected and who was my grandfather, and at the time, all marriages were arranged, there was no such thing as a love marriage. And he, for what was happening in Iran, treated her very well. So, it’s like, now here’s this whole perspective that, for 32 years, I never knew about because my grandfather was never alive when I was here. And now, instead of this, like “I have the most traumatic female lineage”, it’s “My grandma’s father loved her so much that he wanted her to marry someone that he deeply knew and deeply trusted”, rather than “He sold her off to his business partner”. Do you see how the two ways that I just told myself that completely changed my understanding of myself, and my family, and my relationships, and everything else, that something that can be looked at as traumatic, can also be looked at as such a blessing. And had that not happened, my dad wouldn’t be here, and I wouldn’t be here, and it just made me so grateful for it all.
That being said, don’t start there. But it’s something, that I know, it will be part of my life forever, after having this experience.
[29:07] Rosie
Yeah, because it changes your perspective, and it changes your relationship to your family too, right? It creates an awareness, a different opportunity for you to be aware. And so, again, I’m not knocking the medicine, I deeply believe in its efficacy. My concern is just the same thing…
[29:27] Sahara
Yeah, the over-use, the commercialization. Yes, and that’s all there.
[29:31] Rosie
So, but I think that’s with everything too, you know.
[29:34] Sahara
Yeah, I mean, we just did a podcast on, like, social media and its pros and cons, and it’s like, when there’s something that we’re so excited about, we just want to share it, and that’s coming from a really healthy place. And then you want to do it as your living, so you need to make money doing it, so, it’s not free. But back in the day it was, because shamans were provided for by the community.
So, it’s like, so, we can look at it from the commercialization marketing lens, or we can look at it as, there’s some people who deeply believe in this medicine path and it’s probably the gnarliest field that you could potentially work with, with people’s trauma and purging, and they need to make a living off of it, it’s just how do we look at it.
[30:08] Rosie
Yeah, it’s all perspective, right? It’s both perspectives, it’s having the balance of both. I’m curious, too, in like, your – I love this is your podcast and I’m asking you questions.
[30:21] Sahara
I’m like, so let’s talk about your spiritual journey, come on.
[30:24] Rosie
Well, look, my, you know, we talked about this, and I think it’s interesting because I feel like, again, in the beginning, you were talking about our spiritual journey, where it’s taken us, where we started from.
[30:36] Sahara
Yeah, and can you share a little bit about the catalyst of yours?
[30:39] Rosie
Yeah. So, I think, for me, I had a spiritual awakening when I was really young, you know. I was a teenager, I was going through it, I had just been arrested, I was on probation, I was just completely lost. And I went into this world of spirituality because it felt like home for me. I was not used to being in my body, a lot of my experiences were feeling disembodied because of living through drive-by shootings and having, just being in an environment that was very traumatic. I mean, there was a lot of sirens all the time, there was a lot of violence, like, there was a lot of that childhood trauma, fight or flight. And so, I was not comfortable in my own skin, I wasn’t comfortable in my sanctuary, in my temple, the temple of my body.
And so, when I first started meditating, it was my first experience of feeling safe. I’d never felt safe, I didn’t know what safety was, like, I didn’t understand what that felt like. And to me, in that moment, even though I was still, sort of, scanning my environment, because that’s just an innate thing, when you grow up in an environment like I did, you know. I think you, sort of, lose that ability to just relax.
But when I started practicing meditation and I started to learn about mindfulness and I started to practice yoga, all practices that are intrinsic, they’re all internal, they’re contemplative, I’m required to go inside, I’m required to create a space of safety within myself, which is, kind of, hard to do for most people, you know. I was really grateful that I was able to, sort of, come to it in a very organic way, and it felt very comfortable for me.
And so, for me, that was the basis of how I started to function in the world, because I knew that, even though I couldn’t control the external environment, my internal environment was something that I could. And not to say that I can control my thoughts, but I was able to learn that even if it was in brief moments, I could feel some peace, whether it was the subtle suspension of my breath between every breath I would take, or just a specific moment in time, whether I was doing something or working, or I was at the library, or if I was at, you know, doing some random, mundane, task, I would stop and feel those moments. And that, to me, is where I started to really uncover what spirituality meant for me, because to me, that was God, that was the ultimate, it was like, okay, that is the quote that people say “Prayer is us talking to God and meditating is us listening”, and I’m a really good listener.
So, for me, it was that moment that I could just be in a state of non-doing, and that, to me, was the ultimate spiritual path. It’s like, how could I take this now, this experience, this feeling of peace, even though it was fleeting, how can I take this and teach it to people like the people I grew up with, like my cousins, like my aunts, you know, immigrant families that are coming from war-torn countries, that are coming from this inability of having the privilege of being safe within themselves, their basic needs are not met. You can’t take somebody who’s worried about feeding their child through a spiritual journey, they’re not doing any shadow work, they’re worried about feeding their child.
So, for me, it was, that became my mission, I wanted to figure out a way to teach people how to do that, and it was either, in the beginning it’s like “Oh, I could do it through teaching them about food and treating their temple right”, and it’s like, okay, that wasn’t working so well. So, it’s like, okay, now I can, let me teach them by teaching them yoga, movement, you know, so it’s like “Okay, that works, but it’s missing something, there’s a component missing”, and then it’s like “Okay, so, maybe teaching them how to eat right and how to move their body”, but now, to teach them how to be with themselves. And that was the ultimate, that was the ultimate for me. And so, it was the ultimate for me because, even at that moment, I had a hard time doing it, even at this moment now, right, fast-forward to where we are now, my journey has gone all over the place, you know. And any time I would get to, and this is where I can loop back around to your question, any moment I felt like “Oh yeah, I’m good, I figured it out, I’m good, everything’s great, I’m happy, I, like, have a great relationship, everything is amazing, I love my dogs, like, my friends are fucking amazing, like, I have a great life”, then it’s like, boom, no, like, there’s still things that you have to deal with. And yes, the Universe has a really hilarious way of making that happen, right?
And I think, for us types that like to go on these journeys, I’ve always been inquisitive, I’ve always been curious, I love people, I love working with people, I love helping people, I love being able to guide people, especially through this journey. And now that I do, you know I’m teaching head space, I’ve been doing more mindfulness work, it’s really taught me that the more I know, the less I know, right? It just is so humbling.
And I think, the question you asked, is like, yeah, your spiritual journey, where it took you where you are and, like, have there been any disappointments along the way or…
[36:42] Sahara
Is there, like, anything you wish you could’ve done differently or something you know now that might have expedited your path of healing?
[36:49] Rosie
I don’t know that I get down with that, you know, I don’t think like that, you know. It’s, sort of, this idea of hindsight is always 20/20. Any one of us can look in the past and say “If only I would’ve done X”, or “If only I would’ve said Y, then this wouldn’t have happened, or this wouldn’t have been as painful”. Our desire to try and change the past is only a desire to rid ourselves of the uncertainty.
And, ultimately, that’s what this work is, is, we’re trying to be more comfortable with discomfort and we’re trying to rid ourselves from the uncertainty that is certain. That’s the only thing we know, is that we’ll be in certainty for the rest of our lives, like, this is what we know is true.
So, I don’t know that I can look back and think anything, you know, that would’ve, you know, expedited this path for me. I’m really grateful that everything’s happened in the way it has, I think we can all look back and lament over shit that we didn’t see or, you know, ways that we could’ve responded differently, but I don’t know, I’m still learning, you know. And I’ve been doing this for 20 years, more than 20 years, it’s really, constantly changing and there’s fun stuff all the time.
[38:07] Sahara
Yeah, I mean, everything brought us to now, but I would say, like, if I had the awareness that I have today, there are a number of things I would do differently. Like, I was an information junkie.
[38:18] Rosie
Yeah.
[38:19] Sahara
Still am.
[38:20] Rosie
I’m like “You were?”
[38:22] Sahara
But now, it’s like, I really, unless I really want to read that book, will I read that book; unless I really want to listen to that podcast, will I read the podcast? Whereas, before, I couldn’t be alone with myself, so I needed to, constantly, feel like I was reading something, learning something, absorbing something, to get to this place that I didn’t even know where it was.
[38:42] Rosie
Yeah, like, did you feel like you needed to constantly fill that space?
[38:46] Sahara
I wanted to make the most of time. So, you know, I lived in India alone for 2 years, so I would just be eating dinner by myself, so I would put on a YouTube video and I would be, like, listening to Osho talk, and all these amazing people, so it, in many ways, opened up my consciousness. But let’s say Osho said the most amazing thing and I loved what he just said, and then, the moment it’s done I would just go into the Moji video and then I just go into the next one, and the next one, and the next one, that I’m not actually, like, receiving anything, I’m just waiting for that next hit, you know.
So, I felt like, if I…she’s still laughing at me, thank you, appreciate it. But I felt like there was, like, something I needed to know to be happy, and it’s just because I just don’t know the thing, that’s why I still feel like underlying anxiety that I think is part of the human experience, you know, which Allan Watts talks a lot about.
I would say, the very teachers I was also the most resistant to, were actually the medicine that I needed, like n Allan Watts. Or, Osho is always my OGO, it’s like, I really resonate with that path, that’s the path for me, which is like, the dancing, and the pleasure, and the tantra, and the dynamicism, and the sensuality, like, that’s where I feel at home. But what I’ve needed to learn is the uncertainty and that you never know, and the mind can try to grip for control. Like, I hated this word surrender, do you remember?
[40:06] Rosie
Yeah, we talked about this.
[40:07] Sahara
I hated the word surrender.
[40:08] Rosie
We had a whole thing about it, and it still traumatized me, to this day.
[40:11] Sahara
Yeah. But now, it’s like, become my sacred word because it’s actually what I’m really needing to be a student of – trust and surrender. Which, before, I was like “How can people surrender, then they’re not going to create the realities that they want to create?”, but now I’m like, that reality is being created regardless of what you try to control. It’s like, you can plan a pretty picnic, but you can’t predict the weather. And ultimately, only God knows.
I would say, before, I was very afraid of the word God, whereas now, I’m just like “God is my ride or die, I love God”, but I was afraid. I love God, guys, love God! But before, I was afraid that was a super Christian thing, and I’m not Christian, so I never used that word.
[40:53] Rosie
Right.
[40:53] Sahara
So, I feel like, I also had, almost like a need to pull cards or ask friends things.
[40:59] Rosie
Oh, yes.
[41:00] Sahara
That was a huge thing, a portal, that I went into of like, my friend who pulls tarot cards, I kept asking him like “Pull this, pull that”, I was, like, needing to get this thing from outside of me”, or like, looking for the sign, like, of like, it was 11:11, so that must’ve been the thing.
So, I feel like, as I’ve evolved, it’s way less, you know, it’s far more minimal, it’s far more of my intuitive knowing, and it’s less focused on, like “Let me imagine what I want”. I still like, you know, tuning into my desire and what not, but I spent a lot more time into feeling what I don’t want, and that has actually been my greatest catalyst.
[41:36] Rosie
Wow! That’s big, though, you know, that’s really big! How’s it been for you to not have that hit of the external?
[41:46] Sahara
Well, because I had my life planned and it didn’t go that way, so I realized that that fucking part of it did not come true. But there were other things on my vision board that I was not – like, okay, yesterday, I had this realization that, in college, everyone called me DJ Sars, that was my nickname, it was just my name and I had this whole thing, I was like “Prepare to get infected, it’s about to be sick, sick, sick, put yo, put yo, put your masks on”, like, I had this whole thing, this was way before Covid guys, so I [inaudible – 42:16], just saying. And I was just thinking that because I was, like, looking at old photos of myself and I was like, I would sign them all DJ Sars, and it’s like, here I am, over 10 years and I manifested that, but it was never on my vision board, it was a subconscious thing.
You know, and so many – it’s like, Deepak Chopra was, the biggest role model to m, since I was, like, 12 years old, and him writing the Forwards of my book. So, it’s like, I deeply believe in manifestation and I don’t think it’s like “Okay, I’m going to sit down and put my vision board, and these are the things that are going to come true, guys, because I put it on my mental map”.
[42:49] Rosie
But the thing that you do is the manifest, we’ve talked about this before, manifestation. Action is part of that equation, it has to be manifestation and, you know, you can manifest and, and that’s the thing, you took action. You were presented with opportunities.
[43:05] Sahara
But I don’t even believe in that anymore. People used to say luck and opportunity means preparation. The things that I have encountered in my life, I could’ve never prepared for, and they were not even things I would’ve predicted.
[43:17] Rosie
I wonder if, maybe, in a year, you’ll feel different?
[43:19] Sahara
I would say that there are so many forces at play that we are unconscious about, you know, our karma, our past lives, our ancestral trauma, that we think we’re controlling, but we’re only operating from, like, 10% of the 90%, and it’s the 90% from which we are manifesting, but if we don’t know what that 90% is, which is where the shadow work comes in, we’re going to be wondering “Why am I saying the affirmations and I am not rich, and successful, and abundant”, well, it’s because of everything else that you’ve been holding onto.
[43:48] Rosie
Right, yeah, I can get on with that, that’s cool, yeah.
[43:52] Sahara
Yeah, we agree.
[43:53] Rosie
Absolutely, yeah, we agree, we agree. Yeah, I like that and I also like the idea of being able to, yeah, just be open to the reality that we don’t know, we don’t know what we don’t know.
[44:07] Sahara
But do you think – we often talk about, like, the Buddhist’s vs. like, tantric perspectives. So, like, the Buddhist perspective would be like “Pain and suffering are inevitable and try to make the best of it, like, try to come to a place of neutrality and have compassion for it”.
[44:22] Rosie
Yeah.
[44:22] Sahara
Whereas the tantric approach would be “If you go into your pain, you will actually find your greatest pleasure and it’s all interconnected, and it’s not about neutralizing it, but it’s actually, like, polarizing it”. I’m curious your take?
[44:36] Rosie
Yeah, I don’t know, necessarily, because I’ve studied both and I am a fan of both. I think, the older I get, the more in the Buddhist mindset I become. I think I like the idea of non-attachment, and I think, ultimately, it’s not necessarily about neutrality, I think it’s more of the unattachment, right? But I also am a modern believer of the world, and we have things, we acquire things, I mean, things aren’t everything, but it’s part of our human nature to desire, to have our ideas come to fruition. And whether that means writing a book, creating a podcast, teaching in front of people, getting on a stage, writing, you know, making music, all of those desires, I think, help drive us to finding more of our purpose, right? They help us in propelling our joy and happiness, because when we are in the state of creation, we are content, we’re happy, we’re in a state of joy and it provides the fertile ground for us to be more compassionate to others, more compassionate to ourselves. So, I like that idea more.
I think, if I get stuck in the idea of karma, for myself, I start to really – you know, I was raised Catholic, so, I’m, like, innately guilty, right, everything I do is literally a sin. So, I really grapple with that idea of, it doesn’t matter what I do, what’s coming to me is going to come to me, regardless, right? It takes the control out of somebody who was raised with no control, right? And I’m a control freak by nature, obviously, that is part of my shadow side, like, if we’re really wanting to go there, like, that is part of my…
[46:35] Sahara
Yeah, tell us all your shadows. Control freak, what else?
[46:40] Rosie
No, but that comes from having a childhood where I had no control and no organization, and chaos, and uncertainty. And so, now, what do I like? I like consistency, I like a schedule, I like a routine. Give a girl her routine and she’s happy, that’s all I want. But it’s not the routine, it’s the predictability that I want, oh, because there’s no change here, so I’m comfortable, right? But now, what happens when somebody fucks that up? What happens when a…
[47:10] Sahara
You cut a bitch!
[47:12] Rosie
Yeah, that’s right! You know, it’s like, don’t forget where I’m from.
[47:14] Sahara
So you don’t have to deal with the shadows.
[47:17] Rosie
I deal with the shadow, but initially I do want to cut it, you know. But that’s the truth, you know, that is part of going back to the idea that you were talking about, this more, sort of, unattached state. You know, it’s like the story of the Buddha, when the Buddha comes out and it’s this illuminous being, a monk sees him and goes up to him and says “Oh, holy one, are you a God?”, and the Buddha says “No, not a God”, and the monk is confused and says “Are you a deva?”, and the buddha says “No, not a deva”, and the monk says “What are you then? Are you Brahman himself?”, and he says “No”, and the monk says, the monk is just completely confused and says “Then, what are you, illumined one?”, and the Buddha says “I am awake”. And so, that, to me, is the premise to how we see the world, how we see ourselves, is, what we’ve talked about in the past, we’re just a process. The journey is the destination, and the destination is the journey, you know, like, this is part of what all this work is, it’s just, we’re trying to just get from one point to the next. It’s not ABC to get to D, it’s I’m just here, now, to get to there, and now, tomorrow, I’m going to go from there, to here, and then from here to here. And we do it in hopes that we can become more fulfilled within ourselves, with all the work that we’re doing. The idea is to be – this is where the Buddhist centric nature of what I feel resonates with me, is to be in stillness, to be able to sit and to be alone in that.
You know, we’ve talked about this before, like, I love going on a retreat where I don’t talk to anybody or see anybody and just completely disconnect.
[49:17] Sahara
I’m like, that sounds like hell, yeah. I want us to be like “Finally, some [inaudible – 49:22]”.
[49:23] Rosie
I know, can you imagine, and she’s trying to go on a silent retreat with, like, we would never be able to do that.
[49:29] Sahara
I’m an extremist, so, like, medicine was like “You need to learn to be alone”, I was like “Books a flight to Bhutan”, let’s do it up, we’re doing silence big!
[49:38] Rosie
Bhutan, oh my God!
[49:39] Sahara
But that – yeah, it’s so interesting because I feel like you really embody that, like, Shiva. And my path has been majorly Shakthi, of like, it was through the dance, and through feeling, and through having conversations and this, but it’s brought me into what I need more of now, is that stillness and just, like, letting it be. And like, you can do a lot of healing work and get super far, but then you just have to accept.
[50:01] Rosie
Yes! There’s a point where you just have to – you sent me a voice note a couple of days ago, I feel like, maybe it was last week, where you said “I’m kind of done”.
[50:12] Sahara
My fajitas are here.
[50:13] Rosie
Yeah, you, kind of, just, you came to this resignation of this exhale, it felt like, and you were just like “Okay, I’m good for now”, that’s what you said, you said “I’m good for now. This is where I’m at and I’m good”. And you are, and this is the state that you’re in now, but it took all of that jarring to get you to this place, but you’re able to recognize it, like, you have that mental acuity to discern that, you know. And I think that that’s, what I hope, that most of us aim to have, is the discernment to know, right?
[50:52] Sahara
I keep seeing the visual of like Ida and Pingala, the two serpents that go up the spine, which is the Yin and the Yang, the masculine and the feminine, the light and the shadow, and it’s like, what you always say, the middle path, it’s both/and.
And it’s like, I could’ve easily just been like “You know what, I’m just not going to think about the situation in my life and, like, get back on the dating apps bitches, and like, you know, recreate the same traumas again and again and again”, which is what a lot of people do, or I could’ve spent the rest of my life healing and analyzing, forever, and a lot of people do that and are like “I hate men”, and “I this, and I that”, and it’s like, that’s not what I want to do either, so it’s like, go into the shadows and then come back up for air and be like “Wow, I’m a human and there’s so much to be grateful for”. And then you can bring more joy and pleasure into the shadows, which is what my path really has been about, of like, it’s not a one or the other, it’s the “How can I, when I’m feeling sad, when I’m feeling anxious, bring more nourishment to my body, dance my way through it, laugh my way…”, just laugh at the cosmic comedy that is all life, and then it doesn’t feel so, like, dark and then you don’t need to resist it anymore.
Like, for me, when I’m in the car, I’m, like, singing and stuff, and then maybe I’ll just, like, make my, like, sounds and then, like, you know, because I’m in a constant “Urghhhhhh”, and the colony brought and all of that. So, then, it’s like, I’m not afraid of feeling, then it’s like, then you notice when you’re feeling a micro anxiety, and you just feel it, release it, you’re back to feeling – and then your goods become better, and better, and better.
Like, what did I tell you, we went to the gym the other day, I was like “I’ve never felt so good in my entire life”, like, I’ve never been as happy as I am right now, in this moment, and that’s because, again, I’m not afraid of feeling the suckier emotions.
[52:49] Rosie
Yeah, yeah, and your aura was, like, emanating down the hallway.
[52:53] Sahara
My aura was on and popping bitches, it was all down the block! Hey were like “Who’s aura is that?” I had to tame it back in.
[53:02] Rosie
No, don’t tame it in! That’s part of the process, like, you have to be able to…
[53:06] Sahara
But here’s the other side of healing, is, sometimes you have these healing experiences, your heart is so open that it’s not safe to be like that in the world.
[53:14] Rosie
Yeah. I think that’s a whole separate podcast.
[53:16] Sahara
A whole separate, maybe it’s the next one. But you know, sometimes you do plant medicine, you go on a retreat or something, and it’s like “Okay, like, how can I let myself feel the way, at the retreat, when the car is honking in traffic and the family member is having drama, and involving me with it, and the mom is being clingy, and the this, and the that”, all, like, of the things in like, it’s like, you don’t have to, then, go – I feel like we go back to exactly where we are and it’s like, how can we bring that retreat, that meditation, that dance quality, into our way of being, so it’s titrated and it’s part of who we are. And then, again, it doesn’t feel like we ever lost anything, it’s always within us.
[53:57] Rosie
Yeah. And I think that that is the key, also, to be able to do it one step at a time. A lot of the times, I think, with this kind of work, we feel like it’s, you and I are both extremists, so maybe we’re not the best people to speak on this, but I think, for the people listening, it doesn’t always have to be a full immersion, you don’t have to jump your entire body into the pool, you could take small steps and just put your foot in and be there for a minute, and then do a little bit more, and a little bit more. And I think that that is, sort of, the small wins that we can do with going into old patterning.
It’s hard – look, the reality is, this work is hard, it’s hard to unravel and untangle neurological pathways that have been with you for 20, 30, 40 years. So, I think, just give yourself a break, you know, for those of you that are listening to this, and are resonating with, especially Sahara’s journey as of now, what she’s been sharing, I think it’s really important for all of us to remember that we all evolve at different capacities, everybody’s journey looks different. And, you know, I think it’s important for us to have that self-compassion and self-acceptance, and know that, even though you might not be able to see the progress, it’s still happening, you know, things are still evolving and changing, and as long as you continue to have that deep commitment to yourself, I think all you need to do is just be patient, you know. It’s easier said than done, but…
[55:31] Sahara
Take one step at a time, there’s no need to rush, it’s like learning to fly, you’re falling in love. I would actually sing that song to myself all the freaking time!
[55:44] Rosie
You would?
[55:45] Sahara
Mm-hm, because it’s one step at a time, because, when you’re really, like, in the midst of a big crisis, it’s like “How am I ever going to get my way to the other side?”, and it’s like, just one step at a time.
[55:56] Rosie
But think about it, when you’re in a crisis, what do you do? You pull on your tribe. This is where tribe and having a good community, like, all of your listeners here are a very supportive community, a very loyal community, like, it’s important for us to have that support.
You know, when we hear a story of a break-up, heartbreak, divorce, loss, we feel like we can relate. And we, for some reason, it just happens in life, we think we’re the only ones that are going through whatever we’re going through, right? Nobody’s ever had this experience before, like, nobody’s lived the same exact experiences I am right now. But that’s not true, a lot of our experiences are very human, they’re very common. There are a lot of people who have the same feelings, and have the same insecurities, and the same fears, and the same resistance. And I think it’s important for us to just, yeah, give ourselves the space and be a little kinder to ourselves.
[56:59] Sahara
Yes. I think community has been so essential. You have been so essential on my healing path.
[57:04] Rosie
I just wanted you to talk about me, that’s all.
[57:06] Sahara
You’re the best! Find yourself a Rosie! But I mean, but, like, but we had cultivated a relationship, like, 7 years before, that you were able to hold me in this time. And I think that’s why it’s important to cultivate relationships, not just when you’re in times of crisis.
[57:18] Rosie
Yes!
[57:19] Sahara
But like, cultivate them all the time, so you’re not just like “Hey”, calling a friend when I need your help right now, but rather, you’re pouring into that container because it is a relationship and it does take growing and nurturing, and you’re going to support each other through, when we talked about in the last one, and different seasons and different chapters, and some of them are heavier, and sometimes people are going through it, and you start to date different versions of that person, right? And it’s like, a continual getting to know yourself and others.
So, community has been essential, and embodiment too, of just, like, for me, like, doing my embodiment practices, doing somatic coaching and actually feeling those things, has been, like, so essential for me. So, that’s something I wish I would’ve started earlier on my path as well.
[58:02] Rosie
Hmm, yeah.
[58:03] Sahara
You know, it’s all divine, but I think there just wasn’t the awareness of that kind of stuff back then, so, had I just…you know, I found it through ecstatic dance, but I think if I had more awareness of like, more in the emotional component of like, feeling those emotions, I think I could’ve even exponentially increased my depth that I went to. But again, it’s always divine.
And we have a brand-new Embodiment Coaching Certification for you!
[58:27] Rosie
Oh? Tell me more!
[58:30] Sahara
No, but I share that with you because that is the thing I’m the most passionate about sharing now, because – and I think our collective consciousness wasn’t ready for it. And I solved a lot of my problems from thinking about it and analyzing it, but I didn’t get to the core root of them, in the way that I am today. And that has been through embodying, and feeling, and emoting, and expressing.
So, yeah, so, that’s why we created the Embodiment Coaching Certification, which is available, it’s open right now. We actually start this summer, it’s a 3-month certification, so you will learn how to become a Certified Embodiment Coach, so you can use all of these tools and practices for yourself in your own embodiment journey, but also share them with your future clients. Maybe you’re already a yoga teacher, or a health coach, or a life coach, or maybe you want to actually become a Certified Embodiment Coach and start your coaching practice in this way. So, we give you all the tips and tools of diving into your inner child, your inner teenager, your personality patterns, your psycho-somatic traits and so much more. So, you can find all of that information below, in the show notes, or over at highestselfinstitute.com
So, with that, thank you so much, Rosie, for – I think every month, we need to have an episode.
[59:40] Rosie
Yeah! No, I love this! Remember when we were doing our movie reviews?
[59:44] Sahara
Oh yeah, we wanted to podcast on movies we were watching, no, we did two, we did Social Dilemma and…
[59:52] Rosie
Don’t Look Up.
[59:53] Sahara
Don’t Look Up.
[59:53] Rosie
Yeah, we did.
[59:54] Sahara
I haven’t watched a movie since then, so…
[59:56] Rosie
Yeah, we’re behind. No, we should do a monthly thing for sure.
[59:59] Sahara
We also wanted to psycho-analyze the Kardashians, remember that?
[1:00:02] Rosie
We did!
[1:00:03] Sahara
But since I’m off TikTok, I don’t know what’s happening in their loves anymore.
[1:00:05] Rosie
Yeah, I have to fill you in, and that takes a long time because we’ve got other things.
[1:00:09] Sahara
I think, let’s just stick with these existential questions that we don’t know the answers to.
[1:00:12] Rosie
Yeah, that’s good.
[1:00:13] Sahara
This feels like really confusing and great for the audience.
[1:00:15] Rosie
Okay, perfect!
[1:00:16] Sahara
And that’s the beautiful thing, there’s no answer.
[1:00:19] Rosie
Yeah, there’s no answer.
[1:00:19] Sahara
There’s no answer, we just come to the end and just like, yeah, it’s just, the middle path.
[1:00:23] Rosie
Yeah, exactly. I also want to just make an editorial correction. I’m not an attraction expert.
[1:00:32] Sahara
I think if you’ve had a 20-year relationship, you are an attraction expert, so, we’re going to keep that as your title for all future episodes – Rosie Acosta, attraction expert!
So, thanks so much! We’ll be back for the next on how to attract your twin flame, minus the trauma, coming right up! All the bliss and none of the work, make it happen here!
[1:00:59] Rosie
We should come up with our own app. You know, I’ve been wanting to do this.
[1:01:02] Sahara
A conscious dating app? There is one called like, I don’t know, I forget, Dating Mindfully?
[1:01:06] Rosie
Yeah, they’re not good, they’re not good.
[1:01:10] Sahara
I mean, I can only imagine the dudes on that app! Hello, I’m here to massage your yoni.
[1:01:16] Rosie
Can I get a conscious…or like, can we eye-gaze? Ahhhh.
[1:01:25] Sahara
I’m really feeling you on that one!
[1:01:27] Rosie
I’m really feeling your resistance to this breathing. And I think that the way that you can prove to me that you’re not resisting is to come to my house and lay on my bed.
[1:01:40] Sahara
Okay.
[1:01:41] Rosie
Okay? And right now, that you’re wearing your clothes is showing that you really have a lot of unhealed trauma.
[1:01:46] Sahara
It’s the body-shame, yeah.
[1:01:48] Rosie
So, you should probably take all of your clothes off in order for us to do this very guided yoni, it’s not me, it’s the energy being guided through me.
[1:02:02] Sahara
Mmmm, I felt that one, I felt that one. That one pinged, I got a ping wish.
[1:02:09] Rosie
She said a ping, I hope you all take this out, this is so – I don’t want to offend somebody out there, but yeah, it’s fucking hilarious, if we’re honest.
[1:02:20] Sahara
I mean, the funny thing is, it’s like, we get it and it’s important to make fun of ourselves.
[1:02:25] Rosie
Yeah, I think so too, it’s like, don’t take yourself too seriously. If people are taking themselves too seriously…
[1:02:31] Sahara
It’s like, guess what, bitch, we’re going to die.
[1:02:33] Rosie
Yeah, I mean…
[1:02:34] Sahara
I was like, I was in Trinidad, this is when I was on the beach, I was just thinking about life, like how everything’s connected to this and that, and then, like, the tree was like “You’re going to die”, and I was like “Oh, I am”, and it was like “None of this actually really matters”, it was just, like, this awareness of just, like, yeah, this tree is going to die, every single thing on earth is just going to die. So, we can, it’s like, that’s the path, it’s like, we surround ourselves and immerse ourselves in all of life, to eventually let it go and then we don’t know what happens next.
[1:03:07] Rosie
Yeah, well, that’s what all these practices are, yoga, meditation, mindfulness, they all are training you to die. In yoga, shivasana is a corps pose.
[1:03:17] Sahara
Yep. The word orgasm, petite muh, means the little death. Of course, you’re giving shivasana and I’m giving orgasm, it’s just our relationship, in a nutshell.
[1:03:27] Rosie
Exactly. That says so much.
[1:03:29] Sahara
So much of our references! Alright, so thank you so much for listening to this Episode! Rosie, where can they connect with you further?
[1:03:35] Rosie
They can just connect with me on Instagram @rosieacosta or my website radicallyloved. I do have a Meditation Training Certification coming up this Fall, I’m very excited.
[1:03:46] Sahara
And a quiz where you can discover your meditation type.
[1:03:48] Rosie
Yes. If you want to take the quiz, it’s on my Instagram and on my website.
[1:03:52] Sahara
Yay! Well, thank you so much! I invited you on the Podcast yesterday, so thank you for just saying yes.
[1:03:57] Rosie
For showing up.
[1:03:58] Sahara
I totally did not invite you because a guest cancelled, I just really wanted you to be here.
[1:04:05] Rosie
If you ever see me here, it’s because somebody cancelled.
[1:04:11] Sahara
Please subscribe! Hope you loved this Episode! Namaste!
Episode#505: Real Talk: What We Would’ve Done Differently On Our Spiritual Journeys with Rosie Acosta
By Sahara Rose