It’s nearly impossible to look at spirituality in this day and age without taking into account our ever-growing and everchanging relationship with social media. It’s no secret that social media is creating a profound ripple effect on how we perceive the world, our relationships, work, and the list goes on.

So how do we navigate this modern age that focuses so much on a world perceived through our phones?

This week on Highest Self Podcast I have a profound yet fun conversation with one of my dear friends, Amanda Bucci, who is a deeply evolved content creator, author, and coach who has very nuanced perspectives on the social media and content creation world. In this episode, we are going to talk about the pitfalls of social media while recognizing that it can also be a beautiful gateway into our consciousness.

We also go into detail on how to amplify yourself/personal brand on social media, how to bring more awareness into your social media presence, ways to pivot your personal brand, cancel culture, how to deal with haters, owning who you are + how to take calculated risks, releasing attachment around followers, and SOUL much more.

Whether you are a content creator, striving to be one, or just simply enjoy using social media regularly – you’re going to LOVE this episode and learn so much about what truly goes behind the scenes for so many of the people you see on your social media feeds. Grab your favorite drink and a pen and paper to take notes as we are truly spilling the TEA in this episode!

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Transcript

Episode #501: How To Become A Conscious Creator on Social Media + Handle Haters with Amanda Bucci
By Sahara Rose

[00:00] Sahara

At the beginning, people were like “You’re an Ayurveda author, like, why are you sharing yourself twerking, like, this is inappropriate”, and “Who are you?”, and all of those things, because I wasn’t sure about myself. And as I gained that grounding of actually shaking your ass is fucking sacred and you’re healing generational trauma, and you’re releasing, you know, like, and the science of shaking, and it’s fun, and you get to have joy, and you get to be in your sensuality, which, I feel like, now, is more culturally accepted, but it wasn’t so much. 

[00:27] Amanda

You were a pioneer of that, by the way.

[00:28] Sahara

I was a spiritual twerk pioneer, I will say. But now I never get haters from it, because it’s like, you’re just not going to follow me if this triggers you, and it’s not like “Am I safe, am I not?”, it’s like “Bitch, this is who I am, you’re either going to like this or not”. And then, I feel like I don’t need to learn that lesson anymore.

________________________________________________________________ 

[00:58] Sahara

Welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast. My name is Sahara Rose, and on this Podcast, we love to take spirituality and make it modern, fun, grounded, relatable, and actually practical to our lives today, because the truth is, spirituality needs to evolve with this day and age.

We are out here on our phones, on social media, posting thirst tribes, it’s affecting our consciousness, okay?! Social media is making a huge ripple effect on how we think, how we perceive the world, relationships, friendships, work, I mean, the list goes on. And it’s kind of impossible to speak about spirituality or anything without taking into account our relationship with social media because, I mean, I did that thing that you track how many hours a day you spend on your phone, and I spent like, this was before, this was the old me, but the old me was spending like 7 hours a fucking day on my phone, and I was like “How?”, but I was like “You know, but I’m working, I’m working all the time”.

But that’s crazy! 7 hours of just being on my phone, not including how much time I spend on my laptop, and that really made me start thinking about my relationship to social media.

[02:01] Sahara

But some of you guys don’t know this, but I have been a content creator my entire career. I started blogging when I was 19 years old, so, I don’t really know life without sharing myself online. It’s such a huge part of who I am and what I do. And I honestly believe, even if I could choose any career, I would still choose exactly what I’m doing today, and it has its detriments and its side effects, and it really does impact our neurobiology and the way that we interact with each other.

[02:29] Sahara

So, one of my dear friends, who I’ve known for like 5, 6 years now, she’s such a sister to me and she is, not only a content creator, but she’s a very deeply evolved, just, like, a nuanced person who looks at things from all perspectives. 

And over the years, we’ve had many conversations on social media. I remember it was like, I want to say back in 2018/2019, and she was about to write this book, she’ll tell us a little bit later, and we were just talking about how social media could also be this, like, beautiful gateway into our consciousness. And we often speak about the negative, the pitfalls, of social media, which are very real, but also, it allows us to share information, and ideation, and things in this really rapid way. Whereas, you know, writing a book, it takes at least 1-2 years just to write the book, then 1 year until the book gets out, and by then, the world has changed so much. The world is constantly changing that – what I love about social media is, you can get things out into the ethers before having to wait, before having to get it edited and approved, which, like, waters things down over time. And by the time it’s out, it’s like – imagine I wrote something in 2018 or 2019, before the pandemic happened, I mean, we’re all in a totally different world now.

So, that’s what I love about social media, it’s really raw, it’s unfiltered, it’s for the people. And we’re going to speak about, kind of, the pros and cons and how to have our own relationship with it, and to make the best of it on this Episode.

[03:54] Sahara

So, without further ado, let’s welcome coach, social media expert and author of the new book “Followed”, Amanda Bucci.

________________________________ 

[04:01] Amanda

Thank you so much for having me, so excited to be here!

[04:04] Sahara

Likewise! So, the first question I’d love to ask you is, what makes you your highest self?

[04:09] Amanda

What makes me my highest self is always listening to that path and those inner nudges that you get, that might seem off, or they might seem illogical, or they might seem confusing to your current situation. But really following the path of, like, self-actualization and happiness and joy, regardless of what people are saying about you or what other expectations people have of you, or what expectations you even put on yourself. And that path is going to be just like your book, the path to your dharma, the path to you really feeling into and creating the reality in the world that allows you to make the greatest impact possible.

[04:50] Sahara

Absolutely! And one of the most powerful ways of finding self-actualization, both of our paths has been plant medicine. And I just shared with you, I recently sat in my first ceremony with grandmother ayahuasca, like 10 days ago, not even that long, which is crazy, like, I’m still in it. And one of the huge things that came up for me was my relationship with social media, which I’m so excited, it’s like, that we’re having this conversation today, because it just showed me just, like, how interconnected my energy was with my social media and how, kind of, blurry the lines have been between my personal and my public and business life, and the beauty of that like, I just get to be me all the time, and that’s so freaking cool, like, that’s my job, is just being me and having conversations, and like, also, what do I keep sacred, what do I share. Like, the responsibility that often content creators feel of like “I need to, like, keep people up to date with what I’m learning and what I’m doing”, and, like, the co-dependency that that creates. It’s a lot.

[05:51] Amanda

It’s a lot to navigate.

[05:54] Sahara

So, I’d love to start with just your journey as a content creator and specifically about your experience of being cancelled, because I feel like that’s probably the biggest fear that most people have and why they don’t share on social media is, like, they’re afraid of groups of people coming out and modern-day witch hunt, and you have to experience that.

So, can you share your journey with this?

[06:13] Amanda

Yeah. So, similar to you, I’ve been online for a very, very long time, just about a decade now, and I started when I was similar to you, I was 21 years old, which, at that age, you don’t really know who you are, you’re still figuring yourself out. And I think that a lot of people, who are younger nowadays, get on social media and live as who they are and really learn who they actually are, in front of a lot of people.

And my experience was getting started on social media in that time when everyone was sharing what they did and it wasn’t really this thing to be an influencer, it was just a thing to make content, because other people were doing it. 

So, the thing that I was interested at that time was fitness, and I built my whole brand around fitness and doing fitness competitions, and that is what I knew about myself at the time. So, I was making 4-5 YouTube vlogs every single week, and people were getting a really intimate look into my life, and I loved it, and I had a really good time doing it. And I was doing all of the right things to grow your audience, I was cross-pollinating with YouTube and here’s my link for this and make sure you follow me on here, and let’s do giveaways, and all the things that help you grow an audience. 

And what happened to me was feeling like I hit this point, when I was about 23/24, after 3 years of really going hard in this, where I asked myself “Am I going to do, like, this forever? What else is there for me?”, and people know me as Amanda Bucci Fit, which was my Instagram handle at the time. I remember, specifically, when I changed from @amandabucci fit to @amandabucci. I don’t know if you’ve ever had an Instagram handle changed?

[07:47] Sahara

Mine used to be @eatfeelfresh and that was the most nerve-wrecking thing of my life, to change my handle.

[07:51] Amanda

It’s so scary because you create – essentially, what you’re talking about is, like, you create an identity, or a part of your persona, or a part of who you are, and you decide “I want to be perceived this way”, that’s what you have to do to build a personal brand, is, you decide what you’re going to share and how you’re going to, like, curate these certain parts of yourself to be most likeable to as many people as possible, or to get the most engagement, or to get the most success for your business, or whatever you’re doing, whatever you’re selling. And essentially, what we’re doing is, we’re taking parts of our psyche and parts of our personality and parts of who we are and amplifying them, and then people are relating to what they know about those parts and what we choose to share. So, it creates this really weird emotional and psychological experience where, if you’re not really aware of what you’re doing and what’s happening, like you said, it can be extremely scary to pivot or to say “Hey, I’m going to change what I’m doing”, or to add a different part of yourself that doesn’t really fit the little box that people knew you in.

And you know, whether it’s making a change or sharing a version of your story, or anything that seems like it could be a little bit offensive to someone or a little bit polarizing, which is really everything, if you really think about it, it’s everything, could be polarizing, or challenging, or offensive to somebody, it can be extremely terrifying. 

So, I had a point where I felt very clearly in my own experience of myself where I needed to not have my personal brand so associated with what I was doing with my body, which was really what it was, it was what are you doing with your competitions now, what is your next fitness goal, what are you eating today? And it was not what I needed in my next stage of my journey, I need to just eat normally and not tell everyone about it, which, you know, having such a strong personal brand. Like, I was one of the few women who were doing fitness YouTube-ing at the time, like, I was, like, kind of, one of the first people to do it in the way that I was doing it, and a lot more people do it now, which is amazing. But I felt really called to change. 

So, in my change, I found an Instagram video from this guy named Louis House, and he was talking about a mastermind, and I was like “What’s a mastermind? I’ve never heard of that”, and I was really interested in joining, because you can learn about business and then I was really excited because a lot of people were asking me how I grew my following and what you did to, you know, grow your business on social media, and it was, kind of, this natural next step. 

But the change was extremely jarring for a lot of people, and I was learning a lot, in terms of the ways that marketing can feel yucky, and learning different sales tactics, and really, again, being a student to something, but also having this experience of feeling like I needed to prove myself of like “No, I know what I’m talking about”, because a lot of people were creating and asking questions of like “Do you really know what you’re talking about? Who are you to do this? Who are you to create this program?” 

And that first year that that happened was a really challenging, one of, probably the biggest most challenging pivot.

[11:01] Sahara

So, you started sharing about business and they’re like “Who are you to share about business? You’re a fitness girl, shut the fuck up!”

[11:05] Amanda

Right, yeah, pretty much! Like “You’ve never been to business school”, “You’ve never done this!” Of course, there’s so many things I didn’t know and I was like “I’m going to invest in the right mentors, I’m going to make sure that I learn as much as possible, I’m going to make sure that I teach people everything I know, and also be clear about what I don’t know. And again, everyone who learns something new, we’re all in, like, a student phase of something, which, I think can be, really scary to show up on social media, a new student, mentorship, pada one phase of really anything, can be terrifying because people will point that finger of like “You’re not allowed to do this yet, this isn’t okay yet”.

So, that same year was the year that I got cancelled, and the reason for that was because I did a webinar partnership with a friend of mine, I had just met, and the webinar was about healing your relationship with food. And that was less of a common topic at the time, and there’s a lot more nuance around that topic now and a lot more, you know, awareness around what kind of language can be problematic for people with eating disorders. And I didn’t have awareness, I had some ignorance at the time and there was some language in the webinar copy that, for some people, that had difficulties and struggles with eating disorders and people that were aware and had that information of “Oh, that’s not okay”. There was a 3, 4, 5 – day, like, tirade, Twitter campaign talking about that I need to go to jail, that I am profiting with off of people with eating disorders and I am, like, praying off of people, just to take money. And as a 24-year-old, it was extremely dysregulating, was extremely terrifying, it helped helpless. What happens when that happens to you, which is why a lot of people get really scared, is…

[12:52] Sahara

It’s a modern-day witch hunt.

[12:53] Amanda

It’s a modern-day witch hunt and there’s nothing you can really do or say once people are on their tirade.

[12:57] Sahara

Yeah, the more you try to explain yourself, the more you give them. And you’ve seen it happen to me before and it’s like, they take that and they create screenshots and they keep going. Few people will understand, like, the attack on your nervous system that this feels like.

[13:10] Amanda

Yeah, because you, ultimately, don’t have agency, you, ultimately don’t have a fair trial of “Okay, if you feel this way, let’s, kind of, lay out the facts and, like, let’s talk about it”. That’s not necessarily available, people, because there’s no true accountability for people that are commenting because, ultimately, they can just say what they want and they not really have accountability. 

In the book, I really outline, what’s the relationship expectations that we should have between the creator and the consumer, and where we’re getting that wrong, or even where can we just have more awareness and mindfulness around the fact that it is this one-to-many relationship. And we can all be doing better in terms of viewing creators through the lens of, like, they’re also a human being, and also, we can consider everything that consumers often say, which, sometimes does have validity to it. Sometimes it is helpful to look at what they’re saying and be like “Okay, I’m missing that perspective, I need to go learn something”. But ultimately, we also need to find ways to set our own boundaries in the way that we interact with people, because not everybody is in an intimate relationship with us, where we have trust.

_________________________________________________________________ 

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[16:36] Sahara

I mean, I love how, in your book, you talk about the different relationships and the different types of trolls and stuff, which we can go into. But in my experience, like, the main reason why people don’t share on social media, and these are people, you know, I train coaches and they have incredible ideas and even private practices, but they’re so afraid of this being cancelled thing. And while it, it’s happened to me multiple times at this point, but it doesn’t really happen, I actually don’t get haters anymore, which is very interesting. And I’m asking myself, I’m like “I used to, I had a way smaller audience, I would get a lot more, why?”, and I think, part of it is an energetic thing of like, I, energetically, was not sure about myself and the way that I was showing up. Exactly, like, so, for example, when I first started sharing videos of twerking, in 2019, I was like “Oh my god”.

[17:28] Amanda

And then you were getting the affirmation.

[17:30] Sahara

Yeah. First, it started like, my friend shared it on, I had this little gay friend Paul, we went to a twerk class and he shared it on his Instagram story, and I, like, reshared and I, like, deleted it, and then I was like “Okay, am I safe?” And then, like, I shared a little bit more, and it’s like, it’s titration, which, they talk about a lot in, like, nervous system and trauma healing, of like “Share a little bit more, am I safe? Share a little bit more, am I safe?”. And I was always, like, kind of, pushing myself a little bit, but not too much, like, I couldn’t have gone all out like I am now. Even, there’s levels of all out that I’m still, that are coming up for me that I’m like “I don’t even know how much to share”, (and we can talk about the shadow aspect of that as well). But, now, at the beginning, people were like “You’re an Ayurveda author, like, why are you sharing yourself twerking like that? This is inappropriate!”, and “Who are you?!”, and all of those things, because I wasn’t sure about myself. And as I gained that grounding of actually shaking your ass is fucking sacred and you’re healing generational trauma, and you’re releasing, you know, like, and the science of shaking, and it’s fun, and you get to have joy, and you get to be in your sensuality, which, I feel like, now, is more culturally accepted, but it wasn’t so much. 

[18:34] Amanda

You were a pioneer of that, by the way.

[18:36] Sahara

I was a spiritual twerk pioneer, I will say. But now I never get haters from it, because it’s like, you’re just not going to follow me if this triggers you, and it’s not like “Am I safe, am I not?”, it’s like “Bitch, this is who I am, you’re either going to like this or not. And then I feel like that I don’t need to learn that lesson anymore. 

And then, similarly, something happened to me on TikTok, that I said something, I made a video and I was like “The feminine path to spirituality is not just seated meditation, it’s dancing, singing, being in ritual, community”, and then they took like a snippet and they edited it to make it like I said like “Feminine path to spirituality is not meditation (period), just there”, and then they were like “So, you’re saying women can’t meditate, your…”

[19:19] Amanda

Such a social media thing.

[19:21] Sahara

Yeah! Like all of these things, now like “You said the word woman, how dare you say woman?”, and like all these things, and it was like, and then I’m like “Guys, I teach meditation, I would never say that”, but then they’re like “She’s trying to defend herself because she can’t take ownership”, and it was like, you can’t win.

[19:37] Amanda

Right! The moment you try to defend yourself…

[19:39] Sahara

But it made me realize, I’m like, I’m posting my meditation clips, my ‘How Tos’ every day, no one watches them. This fucking clip goes viral and I’m like, I see why people post controversial content, because only when something’s controversial, people start commenting, that it gets boosted up in the algorithm, that it’s either going to make you be like “Oh my god, I never want to be in this again, it’s too much”, or like “Oh shit, I’m going viral. What’s the next controversial thing I could say?” And that’s why social media, especially TikTok, is like, an echo-chamber of controversy that, when you go on there, you’re going to create this worldview that everyone’s just fighting all the time, because the only videos that are going viral are the ones that people are fighting in the comments.

[20:18] Amanda

One hundred percent! Yeah! And it’s such a wild thing to just about the dynamics of all of that, because, again, as someone who might be a new content creator or you’re still on your way up and that hasn’t happened to you yet, it can feel like you need to avoid it or like you need to do what you can to present a version of yourself that’s as likeable as possible. 

But ultimately, and again, you don’t have to create controversy for the sake of controversy, but your fullest expression will create controversy anyway. And that’s the important thing, which is exactly what you were talking about, of the self-ownership energetic, of “When I’m fully connected to my choices, and my truth, and the things that matter to me”. I believe that social media creates the opportunity for you to learn those lessons, wherever you don’t feel, fully, like you’re owning who you are, you’re going to have that mirrored back to you on social media. Whether it’s like “I need to tell this next story, but I’m really scared and maybe I’m going to keep my platform much more safe, and much more calculated, and much more, just, you know, the way that it is already going, you might find that your content isn’t hitting as much or you’re not getting the connection or engagement that you’re really looking for because there’s something else bubbling underneath that, you know, you might not be sharing it.

And again, there’s always going to be the balance act of “What do I keep sacred that’s for me and what do I share?” But I really believe that, if you choose, on a personal level, and you decide, for your own growth, for your own personal brand, what are the things that, when you do share them, you know that they’re actually going to benefit you, they’re going to benefit your brand and they’re going to benefit other people.

[21:56] Sahara

Yeah, like, what I love about what you said is, there’s really no right or wrong way to do social media. People are often like “How do you grow?”, and it’s like, there are some people like holistic psychologists who simply do infographs, and that’s all they do, and she blew up because she’s very good at them, she’s consistent at them and they’re very shareable. And there are some people who have grown brands through, just like, personal stories and very raw and uncurated, like Sophie Jaff is an example I always think of, that it’s just, like “Hey, like, my kids are having a nervous break-down, and this is happening with my husband and, like, life is not all rainbows”, and people love that vulnerability, and it’s like, every spectrum in between.

And, I find, sometimes, like, what I struggle with is, I started my social media like, you know, very much about health, right? I was Eat Feel Fresh and I’m teaching about nutrition, and I wrote a cook book, and all those things, and it was like Ayurveda, and then I started to share a little bit more about myself, and a little bit more. And I always get a great response from it, but then I feel this, maybe, like, sense of, like, first a questioning of like, when do I share these personal things, like, do you share it when you’re in it, do you share it, like, three years out of it, like, where is the line of where you share about it? And then, also, the way that it can, like, invite people’s opinions into your experience, like, prematurely as well, and people are like, you know, they all just have their judgments on it, and then, people assume, if you’re putting things out there on social media, it is to be criticized and judged.

[23:22] Amanda

Well, you put this out there.

[23:23] Sahara

Right. So, I’m curious, like, your take, on someone who’s like “I want to use my story but I don’t know, like, should I do what I’m struggling with right now? Should I do what I was struggling with a few years ago?”, like, what’s a good barometer?

[23:34] Amanda

Yeah. I’ve sat with that so many times, and every time there’s a new story to tell, I’m like “When is it time to tell it?”, and even how, what’s the format, what’s the way that you tell it, what is the structure, what’s the point? 

And something that I’ve come to is, I do it a lot more slowly now, than I ever really have in the past. I used to share things a lot more, in the middle, and as I’ve grown in my own process and my own journey, and I have more tools, more support, and more, just, like, understanding of how I need to process for myself, in a way that feels safe and comfortable. It’s like, keeping things sacred is really healthy and really supportive, I think, to my nervous system in a lot of ways, to be able to just keep it contained and give it the respect that it deserves. Because, very often, when you’re going through something, and it’s going to be helpful for your brand to share that story, it’s like, at what point do you feel the energy between you and the people that are going to be consuming it is a clean enough energy for you to be able to…

[24:37] Sahara

Well, I often find myself, too, I don’t know if you feel this, like, while I’m going through something, I think about how I’m going to share it.

[24:42] Amanda

A hundred percent! 

[24:43] Sahara

And I’m like “What the fuck?!” Like, I’m already thinking about the tea breaks.

[24:46] Amanda

This is going to be a good lesson for my brains.

[24:48] Sahara

Yeah.

[24:48] Amanda

That’s like the personal brand conundrum, it’s just like ‘Okay, this is going to be helpful”. And like, I think that that’s a really beautiful thing about social media, is that, so many people are going through things in their lives and sharing their story. And the amount of, like, consciousness evolution, just from that is really incredible.

And also, every content creator gets to decide, on a very personal level, “What can I keep that is, like, really my personal, like, self-honoring process that will take some time?”, because every personal process isn’t just going to be like a 1-2-week thing. Very often, I like to feel into, okay, what still has to happen in my process, or, am I feeling like I’m really emotionally dysregulated, still?

When I first shared about my polyamorous relationship on social media, which was a very fun social experiment, it was definitely one of, like, the big controversial things I’ve ever done. But my question to myself was “Will I be okay if people ask me questions that I still don’t have the answer to yet?” Because it was true, there was a lot of questions that I still didn’t have the answer to yet, of like, what is it going to look like when you’re married, or have kids? There were so many things for me to process and go through. But there was this line of feeling like “Okay, if I don’t share about this relationship, it actually will feel inauthentic, it will feel like I’m hiding something and I don’t want to hide things just because they’re taboo or people are going to have an opinion about it. But I also need to protect myself in my own emotional process”. So, I had to get okay with not having all the answers and to know that there’s going to be so many projections coming in, to know that “Okay, I’m aware projections are going to come in, I’m aware people are going to have opinions, I’m aware they might be challenging for me, but at least, I have chosen and fully owned my decision, that it feels true for me right at this point. And I’m also owning the fact that I still have a lot of journey to go”.

[26:48] Sahara

And your Q&As, I love so much! You frequently just had this question box and you’re like “Ask me anything”, I feel like I always see you doing them, and you really open up.

[26:57] Amanda

Yeah.

[26:57] Sahara

And you’re vulnerable…

[26:59] Amanda

There’s many things I don’t share.

[27:00] Sahara

And many things you don’t share too. And in what you share, it feels like you’re really letting us into your experience. And you put a lot of time and energy into answering questions that even could be really triggering, that a lot of people would not answer those questions, and I really, like, value that about you, and it’s made me start doing more of these ‘ask me anything’s’, because it’s made me wonder, like, yeah, like, I could be putting content out there, but what are the questions that people actually have for me, which might me something totally different, I’m often even surprised by it.

And you share a lot about your polyamorous relationship on social media, but your work is not really in relationships, now, it’s a little bit, but it’s more on, you know, spirituality in business and that. Did you ever have this fear of like “If I start sharing my personal life, people aren’t going to take me seriously as a coach?”

[27:45] Amanda

Yeah, a hundred percent, a hundred percent! Like, the boxes that we feel like we’re supposed to be in, in terms of professionalism, in terms of what people are going to think if I start sharing about my personal life. Because I got started as an influencer, I always felt this like kinship to the influencer experience, which was, really just share whatever your personal life is, and the people that are there are going to be there. As a coach, it’s more of like, professional educator making sure that you are teaching people and embodying what you teach, and sharing concepts, and sharing practical tips, and helping people in their own process as well. But again, everyone can do social media so differently, and I do believe that there is, like, a context for everybody. There’s some people I follow, they don’t share anything about their personal life, and maybe they’re just a meme account or an education account, great, like, that’s amazing as well. For my own personal process, and I’ve kind of unpacked this through just my human design.

[28:44] Sahara

We’re both projectors.

[28:45] Amanda

Yeah, we’re both projectors.

[28:46] Sahara

You’re a 6-2?

[28:47] Amanda

Yeah.

[28:47] Sahara

I’m 4-6.

[28:48] Amanda

Okay. The 6th line. Yeah, the role model of like, we’re supposed to be…

[28:53] Sahara

You’re splenic?

[28:54] Amanda

Yeah.

[28:54] Sahara

Me too. Same person!

[28:58] Amanda

I’d love to look at your chart.

[28:59] Sahara

Yes. 

[29:00] Amanda

Yeah, we’re supposed to be living in front of people and sharing our personal process. And again, not everyone’s going to be that, but I’ve chosen, for myself, that that is actually how I feel best existing as a content creator. That might not be true, one hundred percent of the time, all the time, but for now, it feels really important for me to extrapolate what I’ve learned, the lessons I’ve learned from my personal experience, and then help people unpack their shame and their stories about who they’re supposed to be. And whether that is through my book “Followed”, of, here’s the experience of being a content creator and all of the expectations you can let go off of you think you’re supposed to be in relationships, or just with yourself, in the process.

And I love having, kind of, the opportunity to do any of that now, and I’ve been morphing my personal brand over the years, to be more holistic, to be able to talk about, you know, all of these things. 

And again, the more that you follow what feels true to you as a content creator, the more your brand is going to really mirror and represent, like, the bigness of what you can provide.

[30:09] Sahara 

Yeah. You know, I’ve really been sitting with like, why do I share on social media. And, like, this majorly came up in my medicine ceremony of like, what are the parts of me that are doing it for validation, that are doing it so people like me, that are doing it for attention, where’s that coming from, and owning that. And like, going into my childhood of like, where did I want my dad to pay attention to me so that I could be the trophy child and, like, be enough for him, and how that could be related to how I’m showing up online? And then, like, this sense of responsibility that I feel, and I’m sure many people have, of like “I just feel responsible for, like, helping people and sharing what I’m going through, and needing to be on”. So, I had to really, like, asking myself of like, yeah, how much of this is co-dependency? Like, I even asked myself “Is this actually helping people?”, and to really go there, is it. Is me, living my best life, and them watching me, actually helping them? And, like, I had to really, fully, go into why am I even doing this? 

And I was able to come into this understanding of “I just feel alive when I’m sharing my full expression, and when I’m sharing stories”. Like, I literally could cry talking about it because, for so long, like, I feel like, for myself and a lot of us, we just wanted to be seen, you know, we wanted to be heard, we wanted to be understood at a core level. And yeah, and like, that’s what social media allows us to do, it allows us to be our unfiltered selves. And we’re putting ourselves out there, vulnerably, to strangers who may criticize us, and make fun of us, and whatever they might do. But the fact that you can find those people who resonate with your message at this time, makes you feel so much less alone and so much more connected. And then to see the community that that creates, I’m like, yes, sometimes social media takes me out of my experience of being in it because I can start analyzing how I’m going share; yes, I can be addicted to it, and I often have to delete it off of my phone, especially if I’m working, I keep checking, keep checking, how many people watched my stories, how many people liked this post, I fucking do all that shit, you know. And it’s still worth it for me because I’m able to be myself, and share my story, and help other people through that. And there’s no other career in the world that I would be able to do this with.

[32:25] Amanda

Yeah, I completely agree, that’s exactly how I feel as well. And I think the important thing to note is, even, being able to go there is so commendable because it just really has you check yourself of not avoiding the fact that those things are really present and they’re present for all of us, they’re present for every single content creator, and we all have to grapple with “Okay, where am I not having boundaries with people and what does that mean about my boundaries within myself, and how does that connect back to my patterns of, you know, not having, people-pleasing or whatever the actual patterns are”, and it is a mirror.

And there’s a chapter in the book called ‘The Nine Stages of Personal Branding’, and I modeled it after the spiral dynamics’ psychological development model.

[33:05] Sahara

We love the spiral dynamics, yeah.

[33:06] Amanda

Spiral dynamics is great, but it really maps the same thing with personal branding as well. And the last stage, after you, kind of, go through this, like “Okay, I’ve figured out what I want to talk about, I’ve figured out, you know, this system that works for me and these people”, as you move through the later stages of the psychological development model, you come into this place where you still will change, and you will evolve, and you will have attachments to the way that it’s all set up and working for you, because you’ve got the thing, you feel understood and you have people that get you. and then you’re going to go through experiences where some of those people will leave, some of those people still won’t get this new version of you, some of those people will not validate you, you will have to, maybe, adjust your brand to be in full connection to your fullest expression. 

And the final stage is this transcendence stage, where you really can look at yourself objectively and look at your patterns objectively and be like “How can I let go off caring about or being attached to how many people follow, how many people are watching, what’s happening, because, ultimately, I need to follow what feels right and true for me. And whoever is going to show up, is going to show up, and we’re going to be in a beautiful dynamic together, but how can I release my attachments to the identity that I’ve curated, to the brand that helps me get the validation that I need”, and that will come from the way that you will have to move around with personal brand and how it looks on the outside to people, to match how you feel on the inside.

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[35:50] Sahara

And I think it’s so important just to think about, like, who are those people you’re really speaking to. Because if we focus on the number, it’s so vague, and this number, like, you know, in a way, it doesn’t, it’s – these numbers are so mind-boggling that you can’t comprehend them, like, I can’t imagine what does a million people look like. And a million people a month listen to this fucking Podcast, I’m like “What? What?” like, I feel like, one person that recognizes me, I’m like “How do you know who I am? I’m home alone all the time, this is weird”.

[36:19] Amanda

You’re home alone, on your laptop.

[36:21] Sahara

I’m home alone, and it’s like, that’s what’s so weird about it, of like, so, we become numb or we become who watched the story and you’re, like, so focused on these things that you, like, forget. So, I keep going back to like, okay, who do I know are, like, my people, and these are people who are in Rose Gold Goddesses, these are people who are in DCI, these are people I know, I know their energy. And I’m like, just like, I just think about how is this landing for them.

[36:41] Amanda

Yeah, a hundred percent.

[36:42] Sahara

And I feel like, too, with the algorithm, it actually really is a small percentage of the people who follow you, who end up seeing your stuff. So, you might as well, I feel, cater it to them, rather than try to create this really neutral content that, like, might reach a bunch of people, but it’s not actually saying anything.

[36:57] Amanda

Yeah. I love to think about, if the people that are following that love, my most authentic self, what would I know about them, what would I have awareness of who they are, if they’re, like, down for me and they’re down for whatever I’ve been through. Maybe they’ve been following the whole time, maybe they have watched throughout the changes, or even if they haven’t, at this point, if they’re consuming my content, what might I know about who this person is. And it helps me feel really connected and safe. Again, even if I don’t know who they are, there’s some people that are clients and people that do the programs, that connect to, and maybe there’s people that you talk to in your DMs all the time or you’re just “This person’s just talking to me a lot and, like, they have a lot to resonate with here”. And I think that really helps make the concept of who’s following you a lot less abstract, like you’re saying, and a lot more relational, which, I think, is where you’re going to get the most impact.

[37:48] Sahara

Doo you make your content thinking “Okay, this is my piece of content that I know is going to go viral and reach people who aren’t following me. This is my step to build my relationship with people who follow me, give them updates on my life. This is for, like, the real…”, like, do you map it like that or did you used to? I’ve heard of people doing this.

[38:03] Amanda

Yeah, I used to a little bit more when I was more diligent with knowing that, you know, you can do these processes and you can get certain outcomes. Like, if you create content like this, it speaks to these people, it will create more new followers, and I do that a lot less now.

Like, when I wrote the book, I wrote it in such a way that people if didn’t follow me already, read it, they wouldn’t feel like they were just coming in on some conversation that was already happening with a bunch of other people.

[38:29] Sahara

Because that’s a huge thing. We think people are watching all of our posts, reading everything, following us for years. A lot of people just started following you yesterday, and have no idea who you are. And we forget to reintroduce ourselves, tell our stories.

[38:40] Amanda

Yep, a hundred percent, yeah. And I definitely feel like, as a someone that, you can get into these patterns of just feeling comfortable with the people that you are already connected to and that are already following you. So, I can definitely get into a pattern of like “These people know me, I feel comfortable with them, I don’t have to re-explain myself or, you know, re-get new people to understand me”. But I feel like we can go through seasons and being intentional about knowing when it’s time to expand out your brand, is just speaking in a different way and really reintroducing yourself, retelling your story. And I haven’t done that in a while, so I’m going to do that when I get home.

[39:15] Sahara

I know, I need to do that too. Like, I know for me, if I post anything that’s like remotely political or social justice oriented, it tends to go viral just simply because of the controversy that it creates. So, when I post what’s happening in my parent’s home country of Iran, those always goes viral because I have a lot of haters on those, people who are like, oh my god, some people like “These women deserve to be killed”, like “If you’re not wearing a head scarf, you should go to jail”.

And, sometimes, I question and I’m like, whether should I block these people or not, because I think it’s important for people to actually see, like, there are people who hate women out there and they’re commenting on my fucking post. But then sometimes, it gets really bad that I’m like, okay, this is just, like, not good to have out.

So, I’m curious for you, and I know you write about this in your book, like, when we get hater comments, like, where should we block vs. restrict vs. engaging with them?

[40:08] Amanda

Yeah. I really like what you said about being able to know that it is helpful for some of these people who don’t have your perspective, to be able to have access to your content, because it might plant some seeds or it might allow them to…

[40:22] Sahara

And they sometimes debate with each other, which I think is really helpful.

[40:25] Amanda

I think, yeah, I think that’s super helpful. And like, it’s almost like, as content creators, we have to be this avatar or character that represents an idea and a concept so people can have their own conversations.

[40:36] Sahara

And you can’t take it so personally.

[40:37] Amanda

Yeah, yeah. And the way that I, kind of, decide that, for myself, is, if someone is being extremely rude or extremely hurtful to other people, or they’re just saying a lot of things that getting really intense or really slimy, or really dark, that isn’t actually helping the conversation, that’s when I’ll delete or block stuff. But for the most part, I, kind of, let people do their thing and I’m just like, this is a conversation that you guys are having amongst yourselves through this piece of content that, yes, I made, but it is really an idea that you guys all have ideas of that as well.

[41:11] Sahara

Yeah. Yeah, I feel like, with the hater comments, in 2020 it was a thing, like “Do not delete, you know, it’s violent to delete”.

[41:20] Amanda

Oh yeah, you’re blocking people’s voices.

[41:23] Sahara

Right. But then like, I had one post that I made about, like, the ICE detention centers, which are the centers on the Mexican border where they basically put children in cages, and how wrong that is.

[41:36] Amanda

Correct.

[41:37] Sahara

You wouldn’t think would be a controversial thing to say, but they’re like, you know, it just went viral and it just turned into this anti-Trump thing. But then, all the comments started coming to me, of like “You’re a sheeple”, “You’re a this”, or then “You’re on the other side”, “You’re that”, and it was just like – and that’s when I was like “Okay”, because I didn’t want to block and delete because I knew the importance of letting the dialogue happen, but it got so crazy and so personal, and then I’m holding onto all of this, and then I’m constantly checking my phone, I can’t even think of anything else. 

[42:06] Amanda

Yeah, mental health.

[42:07] Sahara

Yeah, it was so bad for my mental health for a few days and eventually, I actually wish I blocked some of those people earlier.

[42:12] Amanda

Yeah, a hundred percent.

[42:13] Sahara

And didn’t let it get that bad.

[42:14] Amanda

Yeah. And like, the way that I think about it is, it’s your living room. You know, like, you can be having a debate in your living room and you’re like “Okay, you know, people can be here”, like, you’re following, you’re here, but you can still have boundaries with the way that people show up in the debate or the conversation, and you don’t need to just allow every single thing to happen just because there’s a space for it to happen. I think that it’s really important for us to decide, as creators and as people that are having these controversial conversations, what will we allow, in terms of the way that people communicate vs. what will we not allow, which is when you have to enforce boundaries and set consequences for people.

[42:49] Sahara

Yeah. Yeah, like, I think that, as we grow in our nervous system capacities, we can hold a lot more. So, at the beginning, when there was a slight tinge of hate, I would block because I couldn’t handle it, whereas now…

[43:01] Amanda

I would try to get people on my side, I would fawn response.

[43:05] Sahara

Okay, yeah. I would just be like, I would get so scared, because of my witch hunt past life, that like, the moment there was one hater, I’m like “I need to block this before it turns into a crescendo of them, that I was like, playing Mario, block, block, block. And now, I’m like “Whatever, it helps the algorithm”. I can’t even read that.

[43:23] Amanda

Because you have more space, though. Number one, you know what’s going to happen, you’re like “Okay, this is what’s going to happen and this is probably how I’ll feel”, but you have awareness and less uncertainty, and also, you’ve processed, in past experiences, and you have built that nervous system capacity of being able to hold more things. But that’s also because you have that recognition within yourself of like “I trust myself to know when the boundary is happening, so I can end it before it gets really difficult for me”.

[43:53] Sahara

Yeah, and I think, like, you differentiate between like a troll, which is you say is just like – can you tell us about those different kind of types of haters we get?

[44:00] Sahara

Yeah. So, I talk about the difference between a troll, a critic and a hater. And the troll is like, just an agent of chaos, really, they’re just like “You dumb bitch”, they say stuff that you’re just like “That’s the most ridiculous shit I’ve ever seen”.

[44:15] Sahara

I would love a docuseries on trolls. Where do they live, what do they like, like, you know. They must really hate themselves.

[44:23] Amanda

Yeah, clearly, yeah, a hundred percent. And those people, it’s like, there’s less of a need to take it personally because it’s a lot more obvious that it’s about them than it’s about you.

[44:31] Sahara

It’s always a private account, no profile picture.

[44:34] Amanda

Right, right.

[44:35] Sahara

And it’s just like, and I wonder like, are these the same, like, ten trolls on all of our accounts, just keep making more accounts. It’s like, what gratification do you get out of making an anonymous account and saying “You dumb bitch”?

[44:46] Amanda

Yeah. Okay, moving on…

[44:49] Sahara

Yeah, it’s like, you’re getting blocked and like, have to make a new email and make a new account. It’s just, it’s sad! We need the docuseries. Netflix, please!

[44:55] Amanda

Agent of Chaos.

[44:57] Sahara

Yeah, yeah. I would love that.

[44:59] Amanda

The hater is a little bit more difficult because the hater is going to be the person that, they might have some feedback for you, that’s useful, but they’re expressing it such a way that it’s, like, hitting on your stuff, and like, stabbing you and twisting the knife in.

[45:15] Sahara

They’re like “I’ve been following you for 3 years and I got all of the things”.

[45:17] Amanda

And I know everything about you. and your character flaws are this and, like, I can see that you have a pattern of blah blah blah, and it’s like “You were really watching?”

[45:26] Sahara

And they pitch their own thing in the middle.

[45:28] Amanda

Yeah, a hundred percent. So, those are…

[45:32] Sahara

DM me for a free reading. Yeah.

[45:34] Amanda

Right. They will – you’ll probably take those things the most personally. And also, you’re not going to get a good conversation out of them. Again, I used to try to converse with those people. 

[45:42] Sahara

People will use that to actually build their followings.

[45:44] Amanda

Yeah, exactly.

[45:45] Sahara

They go and they write hateful comments so they get a bunch of likes.

[45:48] Amanda

Oh, there are whole YouTube channels all about like – you know, there’s a YouTube video about me, like, taking a full screenshot of my mastermind sales page, and walking through it, line-by-line, and talking shit about this and that, and just – there’s whole accounts that are dedicated to that.

[46:05] Sahara

Because they know it will get views.

[46:05] Amanda

They know it’ll get views, and like, we can all have conversations about…

[46:08] Sahara

What is TMZ? It’s hating on other people.

[46:10] Amanda

Right. Yeah, gossip magazines, whatever, it’ll get views, people are interested in the coo lade and they’re going to have conversations about you if you’re a public figure in any kind of way.

So, those people, I keep my distance from, as much as possible. I’ve also learned to just view them as, there’s one thing I did a couple of weeks ago actually, where I was talking about switching between the energy of writing a book to getting and doing PR podcast tours for the book, and I wrote the word ‘code switching’, and I didn’t know that code switching was when a minority group, maybe like Spanish people who speak Spanish but they will speak English in front of white people so they can be more accepted, and I didn’t know that the term was used for that, I had ignorance in that moment. Two people messaged me, one person was fairly kind about it and they were like “Hey, I don’t think you meant to use this in this way, this is what this really means”, and then the other person was fairly rude about it. But I sent them both the same message, I was like “Oh, thank you so much, I appreciate you sending this to me, I’ll adjust”. And in that moment, I could have had a conversation with the person about how they were of whatever, but I’ve learned to not take as much personally as possible because I don’t have the energy for either.

So, just let that go and then moved on, took accountability and adjusted course, which is what is helpful to do. 

And then, a critic is someone that actually sees and recognizes you in a certain way, but they have a perspective and want to provide some feedback that is going to help you see more of what you’re not seeing. But they’re doing it in more of a respectful way. They might not be kind, but at least, they’ll be mostly respectful and they want to have a dialogue.

[47:41] Sahara

They’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.

[47:43] Amanda

Benefit of the doubt, like, open to dialogue, open to conversation and open to being in something with you, not just trying to project what they think you are or who they think you are and decide “This is just what it is and now I’m going to not like this person, and like, this is just their character”.

[48:01] Sahara 

And I think that that’s so important to differentiate because, sometimes, like, the, like, I have found, I’ll get some comments and I’m just like “Okay, is this, like, a critic or a hater, I don’t even know if I should respond”, and there are times that I was kind and I responded, and that person kept being snappy, I’m like “I shouldn’t have done that, whatever, block”. And there are times that that person’s like “Thank you so much for replying”, and we both learned something, and I’m so grateful that I responded. And it’s like, you just have to use your discernment and you never know.

But I do think that yes, there is a nuance of, we’re just human, doing the best that we can, and we have platforms and can spread – you know, even the word misinformation is so misused.

[48:44] Amanda

But it’s true.

[48:45] Sahara

But it’s true, of like, you know…

[48:48] Amanda

Doing our best.

[48:48] Sahara

Yeah, we’re doing our best. For example, a few years ago, I shared something about Palo Santo, and how Palo Santo…

[48:54] Amanda

I think I remember this.

[48:55] Sahara

Yeah, so, what I read online was, for us to not use Palo Santo because the tree is going endangered, because the Palo Santo tree needs to naturally fall down and the wood needs to, basically, ferment and age over time, and that’s what gives it its scent, whereas now, because it’s so popular, it’s at Amazon, it’s a Forever 21, they’re just like cutting down all these trees and it’s not even real Palo Santo, and it’s that the indigenous people are asking us to. So, for me, if I’m reading this, and it’s coming from a Palo Santo indigenous, like, activist website, it felt like good information to be shared.

[49:29] Amanda

Yeah.

[49:29] Sahara

So, I shared it and it went viral because, a lot of people agreeing, but then, specific people who owned Palo Santo companies saying that this was really bad for their business and there are Palo Santo companies that are doing it in this righteous way, I need to take this post down because now their business sales are going to go down, like, as if I’m the one responsible. But it was so crazy because I was confused, I didn’t know what the truth was here, you know, because some people are telling me to do this, some people are doing that, then it turned into this whole conversation around, like “Because you’re not indigenous, you should not even share about Palo Santo”, and then it turned into a cultural appropriation thing, but then I was like – it was so confusing for me. So, like, I feel like that’s why so many people don’t share social justice things because you’re going to get hit from every single angle. But then, if you don’t, then people are like “You don’t care about causes”, it’s on both ends.

I share a lot about what’s happening in Iran because my parents are from there, but people are like “Why aren’t you sharing what’s happening in Armenia, Sri Lanka, this country, that country?”, and I’m like, I just don’t know enough about it, that I don’t want to share something and it do more harm, you know.

[50:35] Amanda

Yeah, exactly. And like, that’s a super important thing that came out of 2020, where it was no longer acceptable for content creator’s brands and businesses to hide behind, like, not having social stances or political views because a lot of customers are really interested in, and devoted to, voting with their dollars now and just making sure that the people they follow have value alignment with them. 

And also, the other thing that came from that was so much misinformation being shared, or just people talking about things that they didn’t really know much about. I had many of those experiences as well, where I was like “Okay, I can share about this and I’ll share about this”, I was like “I don’t have enough research or information, and a lot of new information is being revealed, and like, which, you know resources do…”

[51:17] Sahara

There’s so many sides to every story.

[51:18] Amanda

Which is why we have political divide, in the first place. 

[51:21] Sahara

Exactly! And I also question, because you do write about, like, how back in the day, a celebrity was someone that you just liked their work, you liked their music, you liked the tv, whereas now, we’re almost expected to know a celebrity’s political views.

[51:32] Amanda

Yeah.

[51:33] Sahara

And it’s like, what, so, you’re going to vote for this democrat or republican, based on, like, Zayn Malik voted for?

[51:40] Amanda

Right, yeah.

[51:41] Sahara

Why do we care so much?

[51:44] Amanda

Yeah, it’s wild. It’s the wild wild west that we’re all figuring out.

[51:46] Sahara

But I do get that, like, voting for your dollar thing and making our profile stand for something greater, but I have found, it’s like, just pick one or two causes and really stand for that thing, and know all the sides and nuances of it. Like, if you start sharing what’s happening in Iran, you didn’t grow up – my whole life, I’ve heard about this conversation and I still don’t know everything to it, but that’s why I feel like this is something that I can share about, whereas if I just go into, you know, whatever thing I just heard about, I could spend the rest of my life and not totally know anything, and I’m still going to make someone upset. So, it’s like, don’t be silent, but also, don’t feel like, because someone just sent you something, you need to repost it because it’s not the total truth.

[52:27] Amanda

Yeah, a hundred percent, agree, yeah. That’s like my approach as well, is just picking the things I can talk about, like stuff about abortion, and being a woman, and then also stuff about LGBTQ rights and trans rights and things that I have a lot of information about, and communities that I’m a part of, and being able to pick and choose what those things are. 

So, again, it’s not like total silence and just, this is my little platform where I talk about this, but being able to continue to take responsibility for a platform that I do have. And again, everyone’s choice about what they are going to take responsibility for is different. But I also think that that really goes to show, as well, how many people want to have a huge brand and what does it really take to have a bigger brand beyond just having the things that you talk about, like, the topics that you want to be known for, amazing. But I also think that the more you grow, the more responsibility you have, like, with great power comes great responsibility, and being able to recognize, like, it is, the way that you are taking about, what you do on your platform is coming from someone that recognizes the power that you have, and recognizes the power dynamic there and the responsibility that is really important to recognize.

[53:38] Sahara

So, for someone listening who’s like “I really feel called to show up more as a content creator online, but I feel like I’m too late in the game and I don’t really know how to get started”, what would you suggest? Sharing with personal stories, with reels, like, what do you feel like is really, like, working today?

[53:54] Amanda

Hitting right now? I think what’s working today is, like, an organized strategy paired with authenticity. Being able to figure out, like “Okay, what’s the most me possible?” vs. before, I think we could go with the flow of like – I remember, in the fitness industry when I first started, the flow was pretty much doing photo shoots in like a sports bra and booty shorts.

[54:15] Sahara

What I eat in a day.

[54:16] Amanda

What I eat in a day, or like on the back of a bench with an oiled-up body, and it was hot modally fitness stuff, and it was like, this is the only thing that’s available. So, figuring out, now, that there is so much available, the choice is less “Okay, let me follow the path of what other people have done”, and more “What pathway do I want to carve out for myself”, and seeing what the options are, but being able to pick and choose what feels true to me, what feels authentic to me, and also what works with my skillsets. If you want to write, write. If you want to talk, talk. If you want to do a blend of the two, beautiful.

And there’s so many different mediums and formats that can work with whatever feels like your core skillset vs. the things that you want to grow into and get better at, but I really do think, having a solid strategy and a plan. What do you want to be known for? What is the message that you want to send? What is the mission you’re standing behind? What is the vision that you have for what you want to carve out of your little corner of the internet? And if you ask yourself that question, a lot will probably come up, but coming up with a plan for “Okay, what am I going to do for the first three months to really get myself established? What do I need to establish that feels true about me?”, probably your story, probably a story that connects to the topics that you want to talk about, the industry you want to be in. And even just establishing some core pieces of content that will be really memorable for you and for people.

And if you really just think about, if people just found me today, there’s nothing on my page for them to consume, maybe they know a bunch of stuff from other people on social media. But I think, at this point, there’s so much that people can still say, it’s not too late. And the reason for that, it’s just a little bit different, and the difference really is a sea of people saying the same thing vs. people that really have a perspective that isn’t just different, but they’re really owning their perspective, and they’re really owning the blend of the things that they want to talk about and the way that they want to say them and express them. And I do think social media is becoming more competitive in a way because it’s less easy to scape by and just do what everybody else is doing at this point. I really do think that owning your perspective, owning your story, expressing yourself authentically, and coming up with a strategy that you know will be supportive to getting the eyeballs and the engagement that would be most helpful for you to grow. But if you decide to do a combination of those things, and do it in a way that feels workable, and simple, and exciting, and enjoyable for you, it really is still, I believe, bound to work. 

[56:54] Sahara

I love that. Finding what’s consistent for us, are we that person that wants to write long-form captions, are we that person that thrives making memes, you know. Like, I notice in myself, I kept saving memes all the time, I’m like “Why don’t I just make memes?”, and I have so much fun doing them now, I have my little Pinterest board, and like, infographs. I feel like, often, it’s the content that we’re consuming is really what we would want to create because that’s why we’re attracted to it. 

I found, in my own practice, like, sharing myself dancing and, like, doing things in my life, it shows rather than it tells. Like, I could be like “Ten steps to be joyful”, and it’s like, or I can, like, show you me in my joy.

[57:32] Amanda

Yeah.

[57:32] Sahara

Like, it creates that proof of like “This is possible”. So, I love all of those tips, and I feel like, yeah, it’s really never too late. In fact, there’s still so much opportunity when you have, like, a fresh voice and a fresh take, and putting together those pieces of the box of like, maybe you worked in corporate but you’re also into BDSM, like, how do you bring them together? It’s like, that’s what we want, we want to see, like, the unique points converging and how you made them converge in your own life because that shows us that we can take different parts of ourselves and bring them together. And I feel like you do that.

I’m not in a polyamorous relationship, but I love reading all of your things about it because it’s just interesting for me, it’s a new world view and it makes me just, like, know your heart and your soul more, which will make me more likely to just want to do your writing and your business workshops, and all the things like that. Even though it’s not exactly related, but it’s you being you.

[58:20] Amanda

Yeah, yeah. I love what you said about the points converging, and that’s what people really want to see. Like, the way that I see social media now, because it has gotten to this point where we are not sequestering parts of ourselves as much as we have in the past, and we’re bringing things together and we’re talking about how to be multifaceted and how do we bring all these parts of us to the stage and have them all blend together in a way that makes sense. 

I think a lot of content creators are going through that, especially because we’ve had social media for, like, a decade and a half, two decades now, and we’ve all gone through different evolutions and iterations of ourselves. And it really is creating, it’s, like, its own little book, like, its own narrative, its own story. And if you walk people through that story and narrative, and you have clear bridges between this part and this part, because your life makes sense to you, your experience makes sense in your world, and it’s really just about being able to bridge those gaps for other people so they can see it as well. And there’s so much that I think we can get out of people being able to do that in their own personal way. And the beauty is really being able to find anything that you need in the exact specific way that you need it nowadays, because that’s what people are doing. And there’s some of people that I love following now, are like, you’re saying me, like, literal – there’s so many people saying, kind of, the same thing, but you’re saying it in the way that I really need to hear it because of your perspective, your language, your story that you’re telling, it’s like, the exact, it’s, like, hitting in the soul, and that’s what’s available for content creators out there, when you really do own those different parts of yourselves and you bring the narrative together, in a way, that’s going to impact the exact right person.

[1:00:04] Sahara

And what you said is so key! Like, that, to me, is really the takeaway of, like, being a social media content creator of like, taking those different points, but the conscious awareness of, like, showing them to people, that’s really all we’re doing. It’s like, we’re living normal lives, it’s just we are now taking a step of showing it, right? Like, we would’ve just had this conversation regularly, we took a step of, like, being here and, like, showing, and that, and it’s like, it’s not even that you need like to change yourself or come up with new content or whatever the thing is, it’s like, that thing that you’re going through, you don’t even need to share what it is that you’re going through, right? But you can just share like “I’m feeling in a funk right now”, like you’ve been sharing that you’re feeling in a funk, you didn’t share why you’re feeling in a funk, but you’re sharing “I’ve been shaking, I’ve been doing this, I’ve been doing that”, that it’s like, I don’t need to know exactly what’s happening in your life, but we can all relate to feeling in a funk. So, it’s like, I feel like there’s so many ways that we can still maintain our privacy and not tell our stories and hold them sacred to us until, or if, we feel called to share them, but still extrapolate our process, and that’s really what it’s all about.

[1:01:08] Amanda

Yeah, it’s being able to share the process, is really what everyone’s looking for anyway. The messy middle, the moments in between, it’s not just the culmination of “Okay, this is how I got to where I am today”, it’s like “This is how I’m processing my day-to-day, this is what I’m doing on a day-to-day, to get me to where I want to go, but I’m still in the journey, I’m still in the process. These are the things that I feel like I completed”. 

Life, at the end of the day, like, again, the way that we’re having this conversation is really such a mirror to how life works anyway, we’re not, ever, going to be at the top of a mountain and then be done. That’s not how it works, but that’s how it feels, it needs to be this linear thing, whether it’s with spirituality and your journey, or with social media, or with business, it feels like there’s a top of the mountain to reach. But ultimately, it’s just about being in your process and extrapolating the lessons from that. 

So, if that’s what you do on social media, or even if you’re just sharing joy and comedy, and entertainment, that’s also a representing version of a human experience. That’s literally what we’re all doing, is, we’re taking a version of the human experience, we’re putting it into content and sharing it, and people are like “Yes, that, I get that! Like, that meme is funny or this piece of content is exactly so helpful to my process right now”, whether your personal development or not, we’re all just taking human experience and turning it into content.

[1:02:28] Sahara

And that’s why social media really is such a reflection of our consciousness, the pages that we follow, it’s, what is the algorithm of your life? You know, that’s going to be the algorithm of your social media, and if there’s a discrepancy there, it’s like, really look at that. 

And I love, in your book, you talk about like, unfollowing, and who do we unfollow, vs. muting, sometimes, and you just have all these different nuances that, I feel like, we’ve all thought about and sat with, but you actually write them down step-by-step, in your new book “Followed”. Yeah, it’s the process and it’s been incredible to witness you, like, living your journey of this.

And I feel like, for some of us, maybe it’s a 6 splenic projector thing or just, I don’t know, it’s a soul thing, but like, social media has been an integral part of my spiritual journey.

[1:03:10] Amanda

Yeah, a hundred percent.

[1:03:11] Sahara

Like, it always has been and it’s always in the back of my mind, and it’s something that I keep coming back to time and time again, of like, you know, that Arena talks relationships, like, I fucking love you, it’s like, how do we make this better? And when we can take it as such, we can see it as this gift that is, of like, you don’t need to have a publicist and a book and get on Oprah to get your message out there, like how you had to back in the 90s, even. It’s like, now, any person, right now, can grab their phone and say something and create ripple effects in the world, and when we can recognize the power that that holds, it’s like, yes, there’s many shadow aspects, but like – I mean, we have been changing the world through social media, revolutions are happening through social media…

[1:03:55] Amanda

A hundred percent.

[1:03:56] Sahara

Elections are changing on social media, things that would’ve never know about, through social media…

[1:04:01] Amanda

Movements. Yeah, like, social causes, the way that we view ourselves, identity stuff, like, there’s so much happening because people are making content about their lives on social media.

[1:04:12] Sahara

And even consciousness. Like, I follow mostly spiritual people, but then I see, okay, you know, people are diving into this modality, ice baths, and like inspires me or it reminds me, or…

[1:04:23] Amanda

This is the shadow side of this spiritual thing, and just getting all of the context. Like, watching consciousness evolve through social media is so cool.

[1:04:32] Sahara

It’s so fascinating. Even like, spirituality, I mean, this could be a whole episode in itself. And it’s like yeah, you can say that that person took a conscious step of putting their phone down and meditating in front of it to show you that I’m meditating and you can see the shadow in that, but also, maybe I needed that reminder for me to meditate. 

[1:04:51] Amanda

Exactly, exactly.

[1:04:53] Sahara

So, there’s a lot there, and you go into it in your new book “Followed”, so, where can people find it?

[1:04:57] Amanda

They can get it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, off the local bookstores, it’s going to be available on June 6, which is so exciting! And you can go to amandabucci.com/followed as well, to find all the bonuses and fun things.

[1:05:08] Sahara

Oh, well, I love you so much, and you really just embody your talk so deeply, and you’ve done so much work around this, and like, really diving into, not just social media, but like, consciousness in general. And, like, I feel like what your gift is, is you maintain such neutrality of looking at all of the different perspectives. And so, I just…

[1:05:30] Amanda

I’m a Libra.

[1:05:30] Sahara

Yes, it’s the Libra, the 9, I think you’re a 9… But it’s so beautiful and I know that this book is going to help so many people get their messages out there, so, thank you for writing it.

[1:05:39] Amanda

Thank you so much! Thank you so much for having me and introducing everything to your people and your community.

[1:05:44] Sahara

Of course!

[1:05:45] End of Advertisement

___________________________________________________________________ 

[1:05:45] Sahara

So, be sure to check out her new book “Followed”.

[1:05:48] Sahara

And if you loved this Episode, please leave a review for it in the iTunes Store and you will get my free Womb Meditation. 

So, this is a meditation for you to connect to your sacred womb space and ask any questions that you might have so you can listen to your body’s wisdom. 

So, all you’ve got to do is leave a review for it on the Apple Store, take a screenshot and email it over to me at [email protected] and you can find that in the show notes. 

[1:06:12] Sahara

Also, be sure to check out our new Embodiment Coach Certification, which trains you to become a Certified Embodiment Coach using the body’s wisdom to help you unlock deeper awareness in yourself and in your clients.

[1:06:24] Sahara

I want to thank you guys for being here today and I’ll see you in the next Episode.   

How To Become A Conscious Creator on Social Media + Handle Haters with Amanda Bucci  
Sahara Rose