I loved this conversation with my friend and Youtuber extraordinaire Aaron about his journey of discovering his dharma. I found so many similarities between his story and the 5 Stages of Dharma Discovery from my book Discover Your Dharma and it is truly so inspiring to hear how he went from idea to action, all by being aligned with his intuition. You’ll feel like our 3rd friend in the room in this convo!
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Episode 373: How To Raise Your Vibration + Create Your Own Reality with Aaron Doughty
By Sahara Rose
Namaste, it’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes You, Your Soul’s Highest Evolvement.
I hope you are feeling amazing today! I am feeling good, I have been doing a lot of Pilates and slower movement, getting really into my body, and it feels so, just interconnected. I think, sometimes, the way we move, we can do it in a self-loving way or a self-punishing way. And sometimes doing really intense work-outs, hit trainings, all of these things, it could feel kind of punishing on the body. So, I have been really tuning into moving slow, articulation, focusing on my balance, all of these little subtleties of my body, and it feels really good.
So, how are you doing? Welcome! My name is Sahara Rose, ancient soul in a modern body, and I’m so excited to have you here on today’s Episode because we’re going to dive deep, like we always do, and this Episode is a really juicy one because it’s with a friend of mine, Aaron Doughty, that some of you guys may know from You Tube. He is an epic You Tube content creator, teaches, really on Law of Attraction, Manifestation, Raising your Vibration, and we have been, you know, trying to connect, and we have been watching each other’s content, trying to connect and then finally, I happened to be in Vegas, we ended up hanging out, talking for hours and then diving into back-to-back podcasts, so you can catch my interview on his podcast, and this is his interview on mine.
So, I love this conversation because it’s truly our authentic stories and journeys that have allowed us to create our own realities.
I think the number one question I get is “How do you do it? How do you go from feeling confused to clear? How do you go from feeling overwhelmed to having a sense of direction and purpose?” And I love having different people on the Podcast to share about their own Dharma discovery journeys because we can see the parallels.
For example, in my book “Discover Your Dharma” which is available wherever books are sold; if you just go on iamsahararose.com/dharma you will find it right there.
So, in the book, I share these Five Stages of Dharma Discovery and are these Five Stages I happen to see over the thousands of people I interviewed and worked with, that, there are phases that we go through in our own process of understanding the truth of who we are.
So, these Five Phases are: Self-Awareness; Self-Improvement; Spiritual Awakening; Dharma Discovery and then Dharma Embodiment. And as Aaron was sharing his story going from feeling like he wanted to be a content creator on You Tube; not knowing what he was supposed to do and then just deciding “You know what, I’m just going to post a video, every single day, for a year and see what happens”, you can just so clearly see him move up, each of these Stages of Dharma Discovery, to now have over 1 million subscribers on You Tube, and be teaching so many people, fully in his power, bringing spirituality to the world.
So, it’s such a beautiful reminder when we can see these stories and action, and take them beyond theory, and really see our own experiences echoed in someone else.
So, there are so many nuggets and gems that you’re going to receive from this conversation; you’re going to really see how it could look like for someone to take a concept into reality, and then the shifts that we go through, internally, the fears, the imposter syndrome, the family stuff, all of the things that maybe holding us back and how we can actually move through each of these stages despite the noise happening in the world outside of us and continue to tune into our intuition and move closer to our truth.
So, I love this conversation, I know you’re going to love it as well. I’m also going to put the video of it on my You Tube channel if you want to check it out.
And without further ado, let’s welcome Aaron Doughty to The Highest Self Podcast.
And before we get started, I’d love to share with you this special offer.
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Again, that’s iamsahararose.com/masterclass and you can find that link in the show notes. I’m super-excited to see you in there!
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Welcome Aaron to The Highest Self Podcast, it’s so great to have you here.
Thank you for having me on!
And the first question I’d love to ask you is what makes you your highest self?
What makes me my highest self is when I’m doing what I’m passionate about. I think that, when it comes to our vibration or just how we’re showing up in the world, when we’re doing what we’re passionate about, we’re in our highest frequency and we’re in our flow-state, and things just happen more synchronistically.
So, for me, it’s when I’m making content, when I’m making videos, when I’m speaking, when I’m talking about things I’m passionate about – those, normally, are the things that make me feel like I’m in my highest self.
I love that so much! And I can so relate because I love doing all those things too. And, something that you just shared with me – we’re here at your place and I’m so grateful to be here, and something that you just shared with me that was really interesting, and I’d love for you to explore more on is – before you were doing this work, you realized “I want to be a full-time You Tube content creator”, but instead of what most people do “Oh, I want to do that but I can’t because I have my 9-5 job and I don’t have time”, you just started being it. So, can you share more about that?
Yeah, absolutely! So, when I first started on You Tube, I was, at the time, working at Barney’s New York, here in Vegas, selling women’s shoes, and before that, I worked at Nordstrom’s in woman’s shoes. So, I worked in woman’s shoes for about 8 years and I always knew that that wasn’t what I was passionate about, and I went through a spiritual awakening back in 2012 that really changed my life. I, at the time, was working at Nordstrom’s in women’s shoes, I had a lot of patterns in my life that were kind of residuals of childhood. I had like a controlling manager that kind of reminded me of an abusive ex-step mom, I was taking something called Adderall which is what they give kids with ADHD and the side-effects of Adderall were, I couldn’t eat very much, couldn’t sleep very much, so at the end of the day I would go home and smoke cannabis. So, I was constantly kind of feeling like I was at the whims of these different substances that I felt like I needed. And I felt just a lot of resistance, I was working a job I wasn’t passionate about and wasn’t really where I wanted to be, but then I learned meditation. And when I learned how to meditate, I started observing my thoughts and I started to become aware of the correlation between what I was thinking and what I was feeling and experiencing in life and it opened up this whole wormhole, this rabbit hole I started going down and it completely changed my life. I had some experiences in meditation that kind of became aware of us being eternal spiritual beings having temporary human experiences, and I then went through a process of forgiving my ex-step mom, in a way, and the pain I went through, and when I did that (within a week of doing that), that managed I had, got fired, it was like, we were trying to get him fired for years but it wouldn’t happen just because she had so much control and she was protected by upper management, in corporate politics, but after that experience I was like “Wow, there’s the spirituality, I could see how my thoughts were creating my reality.” And from that point, going forward, a lot of this stuff happened, I think I fell out of – a lot of people didn’t understand me. I, immediately, was going down the spiritual, kind of like, rabbit hole and a lot of my old friends kind of fell away and my dad didn’t really understand me and I felt kind of alone. But, nonetheless, I kept just learning spiritual concepts and watching You Tube videos and listening to seminars and reading books. And then, years later, I was working at Barney’s New York, and for the longest time I knew that I wanted to share these – you know, I spent all day studying these concepts and I was like “How can I share these with other people” but I was so afraid of going on You Tube, I was afraid of what other people would think of me. I had all these excuses in my mind “I need the perfect camera equipment”, “I need to wait till I learn just a little bit more concepts”, or something. And, for literally 2 or 3 years, I didn’t get on You Tube, but then, what happened is, when I was working at Barney’s New York, I just started getting more and more resistance where I broke up with an ex-girlfriend, I moved back in at my dad’s house, I was like “I’m going to make this You Tube thing a thing and I’m really going to commit to it.” So, what I did is, even though I was working 40 hours a week, at Barney’s New York, selling women’s shoes, I decided to start making You Tube videos every single day, no matter what, until I was a full-time You Tuber. And there was this download I had, I was in my hallway in my dad’s house and I just had this download that “If you make a video a day, every single day, over the next year, your life will be totally transformed, you won’t even recognize yourself”, I just felt that. So, what I did is, every single day, not matter what, I made a You Tube video online and at first I really didn’t know what I was going to be talking about. Before that, I made one video a month, maybe, for 2 or 3 months but they didn’t go anywhere because then I would stop or I would doubt myself. But I committed to daily videos and it wasn’t always easy because sometimes I’d be working at Barney’s New York; I’d be closing, which means I got off work at midnight, and then I’d go home, film a video, schedule the video for the next day, make the thumbnail, go to bed, wake up early in the morning, do it all over again. It wasn’t always easy but I just committed to that vision and what happened is, over the course of a couple of weeks, I had a video go viral, and the video that went viral was on reprogramming the subconscious mind. And basically, I started seeing and experiencing “Oh, this is what videos do well” and I would ask the audience what kind of videos they wanted me to make and stuff, and I learned how to tune and how much value I could put out with You Tube videos. And from there, it went from 2000 or 3000 subs, to like a 100.000 subs within a couple months, and things started to explode. And within August 2017, my last day of work was the Connor McGregor – Mayweather fight, that was the last day I worked because I knew it was going to be busy that day (it’s a commission job). Yeah, it was one of the best feelings, to put in my 2 weeks’ and never have to go to a 9-5 job again.
But, what I was telling you was that what really shifted in me is – I realized that, in order to make something I was doing part-time, my full-time, I had to, vibrationally, treat it as my full-time, regardless of the outcome. I wasn’t making videos, necessarily, even to get subscribers because then I was doing something for the end result, I was doing it because it’s who I choose to be.
And then, here’s what happened, I started realizing that, as I made these videos, I started to see myself differently. I used to always kind of be like this “Think a better thought”, I would sit on the couch wanting to manifest stuff and I felt a lot of, things weren’t happening, and I used to view myself kind of as a lazy person. All of a sudden people are reaching out “Aaron, how did you make so many videos? How was this so natural for you?” and it started to rewire my self-image, and I’m like “Oh, I’m a hard worker! I am somebody that can make content that helps people” and it changed my self-image. And that was more powerful, I think, than me just making the daily videos was that it changed the way I viewed myself. And as I went from one vibration, which was a 9-5 job I hated, selling women’s shoes, complaining every day about how slow it was because retail way dying out more and more, to having to do with corporate politics and corporate BS (which sucked) and then all of a sudden I’m like “Well, this is my reality! I’m taking action, thinking thoughts and feeling emotions equal to this reality. So if I want to bridge something else or I want to create something else, I have to literally be a new version of me.” So, what I did is, I just started wiring that in, no matter what, and as I just kept doing that, eventually my reality shifted, and it shifted very powerfully.
So, another little story about that is, I realized I used to work in 9-5 jobs at a Nordstrom’s, and when I was there, I read a book called “Psycho-cybernetics”, have you ever read that book? It’s a book by Maxwell Malt, I think that’s his name, he’s a doctor (I think that’s his name). He would notice that his clients, he was a plastic surgeon, he noticed that his clients wouldn’t really change on the inside unless they changed their self-image, even though they had outside work. So, he kind of popularized the idea of a self-image, “How do you view yourself?” And I realized, at the time, I went in to work every day, selling women’s shoes, and at the back there’d be a list of people that were the top sellers from the day before and everyone’s sales would be there so I’d get to see how I compare to everyone else, every single day, about the last day sales. And I realized that I saw myself as an average employee, I was right in the middle of the list, wasn’t at the top, wasn’t at the bottom, I was always right in the middle. So, what I did is, I applied that concept and I started to act, I started to feel, I started to show up as on the sales floor, as a top salesperson. Within a couple days, I was consistently at the top of the list, just by changing the way I viewed myself and the embodying a version of me that was a top salesperson. I would talk; I’d think to myself “How does a top salesperson act? How many people do they greet? How do they smile at customers? How do they go above and beyond?” And that became my Law of Attraction playground because every day I started at zero. So, I’d go in, zero every day and I could see how the energy dynamics went into what I was experiencing. “So, what is it like if I go and seriously trying to hit a $3000 goal and getting paid 10% commission?” So, it was $300 a day, not bad, right? But I’d be like “If I went in this day and that was my intention and I was really focused on it, what were my results? What if I change that intention and instead wanted to add value to other people, I wanted to really help people, get to know them, what is my results them? What if I go in and just want to have fun with the customer? What is my result them?” So, though these different energy dynamics, I was able to see what got the best results. That became what my You Tube channel is kind of founded on, I would talk about, you know, I wasn’t some rich guy making You Tube videos, I was learning it as I went on my journey to becoming abundant and successful. I would just share “This is what worked for me – having fun with customers, joking around, being light, having this intention of adding value”, so I applied all that same concept towards my You Tube channel – how can I add value and have fun in videos? If I’m too focused on the views, I’m like “This video has to get 100.000 views” it doesn’t do well, but if I go in and have fun and being lucid, embodying, being this version of me because it’s authentic, it does well, you know. So, that became the Law of Attraction playground that I then begin to apply towards everything that I was doing. But the self-image work, of changing how I view myself, to then be it, has been key for me to everything. And even now, I’m like known as You Tuber”, not that there’s anything wrong with being a You Tuber, but now I want to venture off and do other things like start an App or, you know, build my business more. So, that is challenging me to view myself differently, to hire a team to expand to this new level. So, it’s kind of interesting, but I’ve applied that towards everything I’ve done.
I love that story so much; resonating with all that you said and the embodiment factor. Something that we talk about so much on the Podcast on Embodiment over Information. You could’ve so easily been “Okay, I’m just going to study all this Law of Attraction stuff and study it enough until my life changes”, but here you were, in this situation of selling shoes and “Okay, let me try this and let me get the feedback and let me see how it goes.” And I feel like so many of us, we wait till we perfect something to try it and you were really brave to actually see your life as a living experiment that you could see “What does my thought, thinking this way, create in my reality? What is it thinking that way?” So, that is so valuable that anyone can apply to everything in their life, even like “Let me try, today, saying 10 things I’m grateful for. Okay, let me try, today, going straight on Instagram”, let’s see what the results are from doing this. And also, it’s amazing because I have these Five Stages of Dharma Discovery, five stages that people go through in finding their purpose, and yours is like to the T! The self-awareness that you first had of “Okay, something needs to shift, I’m not happy in this job.” Self-improvement – “Okay, let me learn meditation and, you know, get into my subconscious etc.; Spiritual Awakening, which you went through in 2012 and seeing that there’s so much more out there. Then self-development, taking these things and applying them, and putting your You Tube videos up. And just the process of you creating those You Tube videos for a year is what makes you a strong You Tuber. It’s like, I think so many people think it’s “Oh, I’m not good on camera”, “I’m not a good writer”, “I’m not a good this-that”, it’s like, you doing it so much is what gives you the feeling – if this was my first podcast, I would be fucking scared, you know, but it’s like, because I’ve done 400 of them that now it’s like, I get to be a good Podcaster because I’ve learned and I’ve practiced. And then that Stage Five is Dharma Embodiment of you living it, and it’s not over, it’s a mountain range and it’s continuing to deepen and deepen.
Yeah, 100 percent!
Yeah, so I love that so much! And, a question I have for you is – if someone is looking at the results in their life and they’re like “Okay, I don’t like these results but I don’t know, how could I have manifested this? This is so shitty! How could I have created this?” What advice do you have for people with that?
So, people that have created something in their life that maybe they’re not happy about – it’s really a gift to be aware that they are at a place in their life that they maybe don’t want to be, because most people are in the auto-pilot mind. They’re thinking the same thoughts, feeling the same emotions and doing the same things every day, and they’re okay with it, they’re totally fine, doing that every single day, going home at the end of the week and watching Netflix and then going back to a job they freaking hate. But the moment you become aware of it is very powerful because then you can actually do something with it. And everything in life, I believe, has the meaning based on what we give it. So, if people go in and think “Well, I’ve created this”, you’re still a powerful creator that’s maybe created an experience that you don’t like, but taking responsibility for it and then saying and figuring out something new, is the next step. And it’s about, then, using that as leverage, as motivation towards figuring out or trying something new. I know Joe Dispenza says that a lot, that “You only create more of the known doing the repetitive things you’ve always done”. So, if you want to create something new, you’ve got to step into the unknown. And for me, that was making videos. And it’s true, when I started making videos, I was going to make a video a week but I thought “Okay, 52 videos a year, if I do a video a week, but if I make a video a day, in a month and a half or two months, I will already have the experience of making videos for the whole entire year”. And I got better and better and better and then it became natural, and I tell people (I leave all of my videos up) “Go and look at my oldest videos, they’re cringy, they suck!” But that’s a part, that’s just a testament that you’re not going to always have it all figured out, but if someone’s feeling challenged or they’re not understanding, I mean, our reality is a direct reflection of how we are being. So, I had the harsh realization back when I was working that 9-5 job that like “I work a job that I go to work and complain about how slow it is to other co-workers!” And something that motivated me is, I worked with people that were 20 years older than me, doing that same job, and I thought “Well, is this my future?” I could be making $60k a year, not horrible money but when you’re not doing what you’re passionate about, it’s not worth it, you know. I’m like “Do I use that as motivation?” So, yes, it was kind of harsh, but realizing, also, that I allowed that reality to be there. We could say “I’m going to a job I hate, I have to!” You don’t have to! You can choose to not go in tomorrow “But I have bills, I have this, I have that”, well that’s just rationalization keeping you where you are. Now, luckily a lot of people had this whole crazy situation at the beginning in 2020, with everything that happened, and when that happened, people were then challenged and it’s like “Oh, now people couldn’t work jobs that even they hated” and they may have mad about it, but it was an opportunity, I think, a meaning, that had no built-in meaning. There’s some people that went after what they’re passionate about, you know – the meaning is up to us. But the fact that we are aware of it is a gift of awareness that should be rejoiced. And when I woke up in 2017 and decided “I don’t want to be working here anymore”, it was harsh, I didn’t know how I was going to do it but I knew I didn’t want what I had and I realized that my thoughts, emotions and actions are equal to this reality and I’ve allowed it, whether I have to work because I have to pay bills and I have to do this – that’s just rationalization that was keeping me safe. If we get creative and we start taking action and we start really letting go of our old self-image; really letting go of what kept us safe – back in 2012 I went through an awakening and I went through that flighty spiritual awakening phase where you become so awoke that you’re like “I can’t have a 3D job anymore!” So, I was at Nordstrom’s and I literally went into work one day and said it was getting in the way of me meditating on Sundays, for these global activations, to ascend the planet to the 5th dimension. So, because it was getting in the way of that, I said “You know, this job just doesn’t resonate anymore!” I went into work the next day, I quit, just cold turkey quit. I also, my credit got fucked, a whole bunch of stuff happened and it was because of this irresponsibility on my part, of kind of just spiritual flightiness that I think is very common, that I see a lot of people go through, and then I went through like six months of just meditation every day. I lived at my mom’s so I didn’t have to worry, I kind of was becoming this, kind of, inactive person that was spiritually bypassing pension and being in the 3D world because I was so 5D and stuff, and I experienced that the pain of that. And then after that, even though in 2017 I’m going full-time, I waited 6 months to go full-time because I didn’t want to make the same decision, even though I wasn’t going to be so careless – I messed up my credit for years! Now my credit’s good and I’m grateful because finally all that rap fell off from 2012, but I was so irresponsible and so unground, I felt so alone. And it was a funny little thing that happened, but that in 2017 was like what was trying to keep me safe was staying in the job “No, this is still safe”. For months, I lived at my mom’s for a while and then I had to live in these things called Emerald Suites, ever heard of those?
I’ve seen them around, yeah.
They’re like these crappy – not everybody but there’s a lot of drug dealers that live there, it’s like a crappy place to live, but I lived on the floor there for months because I wouldn’t want to get a freaking job. And then eventually I was like “You know, I need to get back into the 3D, the world, and integrate, and then what I did is, I applied at Barney’s New York and I got a job the same day because I had a 5-year resume at Nordstrom’s and I was a top seller towards the end there. But, it’s kind of a funny story of ungroundedness but wanting to stay safe. But for me to jump out of the 9-5 job, it was me realizing – yes, it was not as safe jumping into something unknown, but staying safe in a job that I freaking hate is also not necessarily what I want, and I want to be one of these people that I work with that’s 50 years old that hates what their freaking job but they do it because it makes money, you know.
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I love that so much! I have these three paths to your Dharma, everything you’re saying I’m like “Yes, Yes!”
I love to hear it!
But the first one is the leap, and that leap is exactly what you did of just “I don’t know where it’s going but it’s so painful for me to remain where I am that I need to get out of it!” It’s like you’re a tiger in a cage and you’re just like “Yo, I’m supposed to be in the jungle bitch, get me out of here!” But you don’t know where the Dharma is, you’re like “I know I need to get out of the freaking circus that I’m in!” And some people really need that, they need to reach that level pain and uncomfortability to make a change. I mean, I think we hear so many stories of the person who is living on their mom’s couch or in a van and have this genius idea that changed the world, but for other people, that’s just not going to work for them or it’s going to be so stressful for them that they’re not even going to come up with their best solutions. And for them it’s the transition of which, I think everyone’s path is completely divine. Like, you needed to take the leap and hit that rock bottom or whatever to change but for some people listening to this they’re like “I don’t know if I want to live in the Emerald Suites”, but for them it could be just starting those You Tube videos, like you’re doing, and getting that off of the ground and then when you see the root – there’s always going to be a leap, but it could be a 4ft leap instead of a 40ft leap. So it’s like “Can I build myself up so I could be “Okay, I could see, now, if I quit my full-time job, this could be a main thing”. And then there’s the accidental Dharma which is also happening with you of like, it’s finding you, you aren’t even finding it, you’re like “I want to be a You Tuber” but… So, what I’m wondering is, did you know “I want to be a spiritual You Tube”?
No? You just said “I want to be a You Tuber?
So, I knew I wanted to be – I watched Ralph Smart and some of these other people that were back in 2012 and I listened to their videos and I had my own perspective on this that’s different, not better necessarily, but just different. And what I did is, I just decided to start making videos on personal development. So, I made a video on Three Ways to Find Your Purpose, it was my first ever video and it was very cringy, I had a script that was next to my camera and it was very forced. And the video after that was on habits, and then eventually I was like “I want to topic the Law of Attraction”.
I’m dying with the scripts because I totally did that on my first podcast too. It’s like we don’t feel comfortable.
It’s like a safety mechanism.
Oh, I have this but then it sounds kind of staged, right?
Oh, totally, yeah!
So, I just started making videos but then eventually I made a Law of Attraction, that got a lot of steam and then people were commenting “More of Law of Attraction videos!” But basically, what I did is I realized that every day, on my lunch break, I would go and I would watch different You Tubers. I’d watch more 3D You Tubers, I guess you could say, but I watched Logan Paul, Jake Paul, these big You Tubers (Roman Atwood), all these big vloggers, and because they made daily videos, I would watch them every day on my lunch break. I would go to Chipotle, I would sit there and I would watch on You Tube, every day, certain videos. So, I thought to myself “Well, if I’m in this pattern of watching – if they post every day, I watch every day!” because it became a habit (so, Casey Neistat, people like that). So, I said “You know what, I’m going to start making daily videos because I could become this for certain people”, and that’s kind of what intrigued me, I was like “What are my patterns?” I watched the same You Tuber every day because they make daily videos and if they stopped making daily videos then maybe I’d fall off from watching it.
Yeah, I don’t think they would be who they were if they didn’t make daily videos.
Exactly, yeah! And then they got people in the pattern of watching the. So, yeah, through that, kind of like, seeing that pattern, I started to apply the same thing. What was the question again?
Yeah, if you knew it was going to be a spiritual…?
So, yeah, I just started getting feedback from people that said “Law of Attraction videos or this!” and it took on a life of its own. So, what I would say is take the leap, knowing that you won’t get the next piece of information until you take the leap. So, and if you don’t take the leap, then you’ll never get feedback to tell you how can you change. And even now, I was known as a Law of Attraction You Tuber, for probably a year and a half on You Tube. I haven’t made a Law of Attraction video in a long time, not that I don’t believe in it, or what not, but I, now, like talking about raising vibration and levels of consciousness. I think my level of content is just evolved past that and there are so many people making Law of Attraction videos now, but I kind of like to do my own thing. But it’s taken on a life based on what the audience wants and needs, but also, what am I passionate about talking about? At the time I was passionate about the Law of Attraction, then I also became a good marketer, I learned Internet Marketing, I learned how to make thumbnails that got attention, even though they may have been more edgy but I never would’ve thought I would be learning Internet Marketing, I’m like “No, I’m a spiritual You Tuber guy”. But I learned that and then it took my business from this to this, you know, and everything got better. So, yeah, sometimes the role to your purpose is, you have to learn skills that maybe don’t feel as natural but they’re just not natural because they’re unfamiliar, but once you learn it… You and I were talking, we had to learn how to navigate through social media, through creating content, through marketing, through internet marketing, through having an email list, we had to learn all this stuff. And it’s just part of our reality, you know, a part of us maybe we would enjoy meditating in the cave for the rest of our life but I think we’re meant to be kind of like bridges for other people that are also – I think a lot of our audience, just in general, because we’re in a similar type niche, a lot of our audience are very powerful people that I think are meant to do kind of what we do. We’re just kind of some of the first to go through, that are then, through our audience, showing people “Oh, it’s possible for you to go full-time doing what you love and to share your gifts with the world” and to empower other people because there’s a consciousness shift happening on the planet. And this year, everything’s fallen apart because there’s a new system being built, and by that system I mean a new energy that’s here and people are meant to be empowered to figure that out but they will need to take the leap, they will need to trust that once they take the leap then they get more feedback to know whether they’re in alignment or not, or they’ll modify it. I still make videos, I just don’t make the same type of videos I used to make, and now I make less videos, and I’m doing other things because my path has changed but my Dharma, my path, it’s merged a little bit, but it evolves through the action, through the embodiment, like you were saying.
Exactly! I think of it as like you’re on a highway with a flashlight but you can only see the next 6ft ahead. And I think so many of us, we try to think our way to the end, of “Let me have the mastermind and the business plan and think it all out”, and then once you step in, it ends up being something so much different from what it is. So, you can’t think your way to your Dharma, it’s like you can plan with your coach the perfect soccer game but then you get on that field and it ends up being very different according to everything else that’s happening.
And I think, also, sometimes we can set an intention and for what we want, but then Spirit has something else for us. Spirit was like, you were kind of open “I just want to create content and be in my flow and raise the vibration of the planet” and then the Spirit was like “Law of Attraction”, in the form of people coming to you with these comments and you said yes. So, it’s like playing this ping-pong game with the Universe, like “I’m taking action and I’m listening!” And I see a lot of people who are like “Action, action, action!”, not listening, it’s not working, “Keep going through” Keep busting! More motivation!” And I see a lot of people like “I’m just listening, I’m over here!”
We have the middle way.
Exactly, so it’s having that balance! I’d love to know, did you ever feel imposter syndrome?
Oh, for sure!
Yeah. Even when I started on You Tube, when I was first making videos, one of my first negative comments was, someone was like “You’re copying Ralph Smart!” And I prided myself on having my own original content, and even though we made similar, I guess, ideas or something like that, the person that said it – I said “I know I’m not”. Once I started making content, I stopped watching other content because I was so much of somebody that wanted to be like, original, even though we all pick up on similar vibration and energy and stuff, and we all may have similar perspectives, caring about what other people thought was like a big challenge for me in the beginning because there was a part of me that really craved that validation and significance – and this goes back to shadow-work too. I actually realized recently, I was telling you I recently went to this plant medicine in Costa Rica (I do it every year), kind of keep my ego in check with that, and I realized that my attachment style to my audience was a result of my own mother wound where I craved attention and significance from my mom, growing up. She was there up until I was about 5 or 6 and then my ex-step mom came into the picture and we weren’t allowed to see our real mom, but my mom was emotionally, kind of, going through a lot, and I had this realization on plant medicine, that my audience is a reflection of my own mother wound in a sense that part of me wants to help people in the world and part of me wants to, like, add value, but another part of me felt like I needed that significance and validation because I was really proving it to other people. And also when I started, I mean, my dad thought You Tube was kind of crazy, didn’t understand it, wanted me to be a lawyer.
We’re living the same life bro!
And then, I had friends, we’d go to a party and you know, I would go to a party and stuff and my friends were “So, what are you up to Aaron?” “Oh, you know, I’m making videos, still” and stuff like that and glaze over their eyes “Oh year? Good luck with that hobby!” And then I became successful at it and then they started coming around and “Oh, this is really cool!” But, up until that time, I really had to just trust my vision; I had to just kind of trust in this path and understand that this was like, in a way that mother wound served me. Even though I was chasing significance up until maybe a year or two ago when I started realizing this and I stopped caring what people thought; my content became more authentic because I was needing attention, needing validation, so I’m making content that I think resonates with people instead of making content that was really authentic and raw. So, that realization was very powerful a couple weeks ago when I realized that, I’m like “Wow!” Because, my buddy Victor and my friend Matt, they both have You Tube audiences, and they’re Coaches, and they realized that their clients, they’re so, not anxious, but kind of, they take responsibility for their results and they’re anxiously attached to their clients because their moms were anxiously attached to them. So, and we were talking about this and we realized that all of our purposes in the world and our audience was a reflection of our own attachment style with our moms. And for me, it was something I craved and I was literally co-dependent on my audience. And I was telling you some stories that I’ve had with certain, even with subscribers, for example, where I would attract sometimes (not always) but sometimes I’d attract very co-dependent people. And a realization I had is these people are co-dependent on me because I’m co-dependent on them. And it was just this deep, like, shadow realization where I had to go in and do the work on myself to realize like, I really loved my inner child, and to realize that I need to focus more on being authentic and give myself the love that I craved, knowing that I’m not – yes, I’m passionate about making videos and it’s my purpose, it’s my Dharma, or not just videos, making content and sharing ideas, but I am also worthy for just being me, because if we lose that, then we lose our identity, who we are if – it’s like athletes that become paralyzed and they lose their sense of identity because they can’t do how they’ve identified themselves their whole lives.
So, for me, becoming aware of that connection to that significance, that validation – it did serve me, I built a million, You Tube subscriber channel off that, but a lot of it was, yes, helping people, but also the shadow part of myself that was craving significance and love from my audience. And then I realized that and I was like “How can I be more compassionate towards my audience, but also towards myself?” So, that was a lot of…
I mean, I so resonate because of the exact same thing but with my dad because he was very, like “You’re never going to make it!” For me, it was being a blogger, that’s how I started, 11 years ago, and then writing a book. All I wanted to do was write a book and when I would tell people I’m writing a book, they were just like “Okay, you’re writing a book!” You know, someone joked, they were like “Once you’re elderly, you start to write your book”, they thought it was this weird hobby thing that’s never going to take off and I’m eventually going to snap out of it. I was living with my grandma at the time, to not pay rent and focus on writing my book. So it was like the exact same thing and trying to prove to my dad “I can do this, I can do this!” that it brings that sense of like, it’s a gift because it makes you so passionate about what you’re doing and go the extra hours and learn the SEO and all of the things that typically you wouldn’t learn because you just want this thing to happen so much, then you reach this point that you’re just “Okay, where is this coming from, is this coming from a place of worthiness or unworthiness?” And for me it was like a lot of it was unworthiness that was making me fuelled like “Okay, I’ve got to do it” or “Now, I’ve reached this level so now this is the new standard, this is just normal now, now I have to reach this new plateau and new plateau” and it never ends! And it was hilarious because I was telling my friend who is really like, just getting started and she’s like “It’s insane to hear you talk about this because it just shows me that it never ends”. And she’s like “My dream would be to where you’re at” and mine is where Gabby Bernstein is at and he’s is like where Oprah’s at and it doesn’t end you know.
It’s so true!
And it’s like, just be happy and let it just come from a place of deep worthiness and play and joy and fluidity, and that’s what makes it feel so much more honest. And, I do believe we chose those upbringings and those situations because it did allow us to, maybe, push ourselves to a limit that we wouldn’t have without that.
It’s motivation. So, let me ask you a question – how is your dad now that you’ve become – you’re successful?
He’s like “Oh, it was all my idea, I’m the one who told you to do this”.
My dad says the same thing. He did kind of support me because I lived with him but I just know he was thinking this weird You Tube – he still doesn’t get it but he sees the success and the abundance.
My dad’s like “I never said that!”
It’s too hard for them. I think it’s too hard for them to realize they were wrong. I think the Boomer generation – I’ve never heard an apology or anything like that and they’re just like “What? You should be grateful for me!” But at this point I’m like “Let him think it was all his idea.” That’s fine!
You just let it be, that’s funny. I went through the same thing.
But it’s like, you know, I think it allows us to work real hard and go that extra mile and you get to this place that it’s just like “What do I really want to live from?” I do think some of the most famous people in the world, they’re still creating from a place of unworthiness.
Oh yeah, for sure!
You know, going on tour every day, for a year, is not really a self-loving thing unless it’s really coming from that place of joy. But I see a lot of people from the music industry that my husband works with, is like, they’re hating their lives but they’re doing it because they think they need to. So it’s like really checking ourselves at all levels because it never ends.
No, it doesn’t! I remember when I first got to 100.000 on You Tube – I went to bed one night, I had 96.00 or something, I had a video go viral, and I woke up the next day at 100.000. I thought it was going to take another week. So, I hit the goal of 100.000, I’m going to get the plaque now and all this stuff, and I went to the gym and it was this mindset that when I go to the gym people are going to be coming up to me “Oh, my God, Aaron!”
The guy with the 100k subscribers!
That’s him! Here’s a gold star right next to your name! And then I hit 100 and I thought “A 100 is not that much as I thought! What about 200k, oh man, 200k!” Then I got to 200k and then “400s a big amount!”
That’s a juicy number!
And then it was 5 and then 7 and then a million, now I can genuinely say, it was almost like, when I got the million subscriber plaque, I was, not ashamed, but I was like kind of disappointed in myself because for so long, I imagined that thing and I put so much of my worthiness and my happiness in it and once I got it, I’m like, it was a bitter-sweet thing because it fuelled me but I was like “I can just see how empty it is”, even if it’s becoming successful. I used to dream of the abundance I live in now and the things I go now, and it’s not depressing, I love my life, I love how freedom-filled it is, but it’s just natural; it just feels normal. I’m sure you can relate, right? It’s just your life now.
When I was working a $50k a year job, I would look up to where I am now and like “That would be so amazing, I would be so free!” It doesn’t feel that different except for – the biggest change I always tell people is, there’s not a huge change when you go from making like, I don’t know, $20k a month or a $100k, even like $5k a month to $20k a month, to $100k a month to a million a month, it doesn’t make that big of a difference as much as it does when you’re working a 9-5 job and then you go and work for yourself. There’s a bigger vibrational jump when you’re buying time back than there is when you go from being like middle class to making shit tons of money – it’s way better. So, if your goal, shouldn’t be to be a multi-millionaire, or it doesn’t matter, it’s up to the person, but living your purpose and going full-time doing what you love is the biggest fulfilling thing in the world. I went from making $50k a year or $60k a year selling women’s shoes to $50k a year, $60k a year on You Tube. That was a bigger jump than when I made my first 6-figures a year or more, you know. So, yeah, it’s like, that’s the biggest jump, but it never ends.
I have friends and I know people that make what I make a year, in a month and it’s like “Oh” and you can compare yourself at any level of the ladder, you know. But it really, when it becomes natural, that’s when you – this stuff becomes natural once you attain it and so, remembering that. That’s why a lot of people that win the Olympics, go into depression, because they think it’s going to be this amazing thing.
I just watched UFC and Frances Ngannou won and he was so excited to win the heavyweight and I think it’s great that he did but he’ll probably find out soon that it doesn’t feel that different from before he won it.
And it even sets that expectation now. I was reading Ryan Holiday’s book, I think it’s called “Ego is the Enemy” but he was talking about everything was on becoming a New York Time’s Bestselling Author, and he had that for one day, he was happy, and then immediately the agents are like “So what’s your next book going to be” and now it’s like “Shit! Now I have to do this all over again with another New York Time’s Bestselling Book” and it doesn’t end because it’s like, then it becomes a web of people around you that are banking on you continuing that same level of success. And I see a lot of entrepreneurs, they’re in a 9-5, they become entrepreneurs but they create the exact same constraints on themselves that they ran away from because they don’t know what life is like without that. They’re like “Let me be an entrepreneur but repeat what everyone else is saying, and follow this formula, and do it by the book” because the consciousness is still in this indoctrination, institution, school system of “Do what you’re told” and it’s like you’re not truly free until it’s an internal process.
And another thing too, that you brought up, it’s like, different people have different levels of what the right amount of abundance is for them.
Like, for someone, let’s say you just want to make art all day – that is ultimate abundance for you, but maybe you would love to live in a cabin and you genuinely need $30.000 a year making art, for you to be successful doing that, or to have it come from a stock or some other thing happening too, because not, all the time, you’re – I’ve seen, sometimes, the thing that you love doing is not always the thing that makes you money. I’ve seen, sometimes, people have different ways of making money and the things that they love to do.
So, tuning into what is the level or amount of abundance that you need for your Dharma. Like, some people, it is genuinely millions of dollars because they want to make an impact with that certain amount of money. Like Toni Robbins, like that is a part of his Dharma because he’s donating so much and he’s just making a huge impact, but someone else it could just be like “I just want to feel at peace in my cabin.” So, tuning into what that is for you.
Well said! And I think that people need to know what that is, yeah. Because for me, at first, I knew it was just me making videos and living the freedom lifestyle using the power of just the internet. That’s what I do and that’s where I started at. And from there, it kind of grew, I was like “I’d like to impact more people; I’d like to grow a team”, I had a certain vision but I’d say that that is an important thing to think about too.
And I think, also, for people who want to be entrepreneurs or doing what we’re doing, it’s like having the other things that support it like learning the digital marketing aspect or learning how to manage a team. This was something that I never in my life thought about because I was living in India, I never even thought I would have a normal job, I never thought about being a CEO. But for me, to fully live in my Dharma, I need to learn how to do these other things, so that makes me want to do it because it’s supporting it.
Yes. Totally agree! Like I was saying earlier, it may be unfamiliar, but it’s becoming aware of that vision and the different skills that you would need to learn and then start to learn them. So, when you become aware of that vision then you have something to move towards, but most people don’t know what that is, what it looks like, how it feels, but when you start – that’s why I think modeling is such a powerful thing. You know, I looked at other You Tubers, what are they doing, “Oh, this person’s making daily videos; this person’s doing this; this person’s doing that”, you look at an author – I have friends that are artists, it’s true, they want to live in kind of like a – I know one that lives in Sedona and she just got a new house and she just wants to paint every day and create amazing art and sell it online or Instagram account, and she knows what her monthly amount she wants to make it, she knows what kind of lifestyle, what kind of canvases she wants to be able to get. Clarity is really the key. I think a lot of people aren’t just clear, they don’t know what that is and because they don’t know what it is, there’s nothing to move towards. And unfortunately, then they are in the autopilot of what is now, which is a 9-5 job or doing something they’re not passionate about or similar stories that they feel locked in. The story of “I can’t do that” or “I need to make money and do this” or “My parents want me to do that”, those are all stories that people get locked in because it’s familiar, you know.
So, what would you suggest for someone who’s like “I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t want to work this job but I don’t really have a thing that I’m – like my Your Tube, like my paint, I don’t really have a thing I’m passionate about”?
Yeah. I think, the thing I always tell people because I do get that question a lot, is set the intention to find out what that could be. And when you set the intention, it’s almost like you have something that’s guiding you, that will start to give you feedback in reality of what it could be and then start to take action. For example, you say “Okay, I intend to find out what I could be passionate about” and you can also do a little research, ask your friends and family what you’ve always been natural at that you probably don’t think is a special gift but maybe it is a freaking special gift.
I have a buddy that’s doing that right now and he’s moving to Montana and he’s got such a – he was telling me last night, a friend was telling him “There’s something that you’ve got but not everyone has”. And he’s just such a personable person, when you talk to him, you feel like you know him, a communicator, but he doesn’t know how to do that necessarily. He’s moving to Montana to get out of the autopilot mind of working at the casino industry here in Vegas for his whole life, under his mom’s, kind of, wing, and he’s getting to go on his own initiation to fund out what that is. So, he’s kind of going on his own little hero’s journey but, the thing I told him, the same thing “Well, start sending the intention of what could be and then start exploring and trying new things and see what books pop out at you and when you’re at the coffee shop or somewhere, you may overhear different conversations and be aware of what you’re tuning to. And if you set that intention, you’ll start to get new feedback and then take action with it, start trying new things, the unknown is where you’re going to find the thing that you don’t know of yet. Or maybe it’s something you do know that you’re so unaware of because you just take it for granted but somebody else kind of says “Yo, bro, you’re really good at this!” or “Hey, did you know how good you are at this?” and then you start realizing “Yeah, maybe I could find a way of leveraging this.” But I think, sometimes, we think that our purpose is one overarching thing that we’re going to do our whole life. I may, one day, not make videos, I may do something completely different, I may just do live events, and then one day I may not do live events anymore. It can change and evolve as you go but it’s a journey; it’s a journey of finding it out but you have to start. So many people – I had a friend come over the other day and she’s learning new personal development concepts and she’s always learning more shit and I’m like “Dude, you’ve got to stop learning, you’ve got to start doing, you’ve got to just start taking action, you’re waiting for the next book, the next course, the next this, the next that” and instead taking action and starting. So, it’s like, embodying, like you said, embodying that knowledge, knowing that you don’t have to have it all figured out. To discover your Dharma, you don’t have to have a step-by-step play of exactly what you’re going to do every step of the way, you figure it out as you go. And then as you go, you then get feedback, you modify, you adapt and you go from there, it’s the journey itself.
I love that so much! And I think that, something that you kind of did was, you looked at how you were spending your free time. And you were spending your free time watching these other You Tubers that then it hit like “Okay, if I’m giving my time to consuming this, what if I created it?”
So, for people listening, it’s like, if you’re listening to this Podcast, maybe you want to start a podcast or it’s something about the conversation or it’s preparing you for something else. But, I’ve looked back on my life and the things I was Google searching right before, ended up being what my purpose is. I was obsessed with nutrition, but for myself, and then that turned into what I ended up doing and then spiritual awakening, and then it’s what I’m doing. I always say excitement are the breadcrumbs guiding you towards your Dharma. So, it’s like the things that you’re excited about, you’re curious about because it’s energy propelling you in that direction.
I love that! Amazing!
Yes, we’re definitely tuned into the same web cloud.
It’s funny how, it’s almost like we’ve tapped into a certain archetype but maybe in a feminine/masculine way.
Yeah, love it!
But it’s a similar parental purpose-driven thing.
Exactly and that’s what I love too, it’s like our souls needed to have all the experiences that we’ve had for us to get to where we are and that also doesn’t – like something I’ve learned so much recently – it really doesn’t end. I feel like we’re sometimes like “It’s the hero’s journey and then I’m successful and here I am. I’m good!” and it’s like, we’re still going through it, like you were talking about before, more challenges come up and it’s shaping you for what is to come next and then you have the tools and the practices so it doesn’t feel like going and I’m dying, it’s like “Okay Universe, you were reflecting this back at me, what’s up, what’s behind this?” And then you really lose that sense of victimhood that we often have at the beginning of the journey and are like “Okay, if I’m the conscious creator of my reality, good and bad, then what does this mean and what is this teaching me?”
Yay! So good!
Where can listeners tune into your podcast, your You Tube channel, learn more from you?
Thank you. Yeah, so I have a podcast called The Aaron Doughty Podcast and I post twice a week on there and then I have a You Tube channel called Aaron Doughty, and that’s where a lot of my attention goes, towards the podcast and the You Tube channel. Making an App right now to connect with people and stuff, so yeah, I’ve got a lot of projects working right now but I still make videos on You Tube and podcast episodes and that’s where my passion actually – I become more and more passionate about podcasts. So I can see why you do it, it’s like you’re thing.
Yea! I will have the links to that in the show notes. Thank you so much for being on!
Thank you for having me on! I had a lot of fun!
[53:55] End of Interview
Wow! I just loved that conservation! I adore just diving in with people and hearing their stories and just allowing the conservation to be fluid and take us wherever it’s mean to take us. I really believe that that’s what life is all about, just to have these long conservations about the meaning of life and sharing our stories and finding the similarities between all of us.
So, I hope you felt like the third friend in the room, because you were, you were there with us in spirit! And I hope it also shows you that your dreams are dreaming you back and that the very reason that they are inside of you is because they were meant for you. You are your goal already. The very reason that you have this goal is because an ounce of your sol knows “I am meant to do this thing, I’ve already embodied this thing, so now it’s taking the action to make this my physical reality.
So, I hope you loved this Episode; it inspired you. And if you want to dive in deeper into understanding your dharma, your Soul’s Purpose, the big reason why you are here, I invite you to join me in my 21-Day Dharma Discovery Journey. You can learn more about it at iamsahararose.com/dharma discovery and I’m so excited to invite you inside.
I hope you loved this Episode and I’ll see you on the next one. Namaste.
Episode 373: How To Raise Your Vibration + Create Your Own Reality with Aaron Doughty
By Sahara Rose