Highest Self Podcast 220: Why Female Rivalry is Patriarchal BS with Sahara Rose

Doors are OPEN for Rose Gold Goddesses— join now at RoseGoldGoddesses.com

Why are women always deemed to be competing, rivaling and jealous of each other? Because of the PATRIARCHY!

In this episode, I explain why that is BS and women supporting one another is the KEY to ALL of our success.

Become part of the sisterhood you’ve been CALLING IN by joining Rose Gold Goddesses -> doors are open this week only at RoseGoldGoddesses.com.

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Episode 220 – Why Female Rivalry is Patriarchal BS with Sahara Rose

By Sahara Rose

Namaste. It’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to the “Highest Self” podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you your soul’s highest evolvement. I am super excited to record this episode about women, and rivalry, and friendship, and allyship because it’s the week of Rose Gold Goddesses launching. Rose Gold Goddesses is the sacred sisterhood collective that I have just launched out to the world is available this week only, with our very own interactive app where we can discuss all the things we want to talk about from Ayurveda, to spirituality, dharma, past lives, crystals, shamanism, menstrual cycles, moon cycles, everything in between.

Live events, I’m going to be hosting liv events in L.A., New York, Miami, San Francisco, gonna go down to Texas, Canada, all over the place. And there will also be opportunities for you guys to host your own events, so it’s going to be freaking international, we already have people in London, China, Peru, all over the place that are going to be meeting with you in person and sacred sisterhood, and beautiful circles and gatherings.

We have expert workshops for many of the guests that have been on this podcast like Laura Plumb, Vedic astrology, Heather about working with the shadow side of the goddess, and so many more. We have meditations, entire Rose Gold Goddess framework where I teach you step-by-step how to work with the goddess. Each month we are embodying a new goddess archetype, so if you are part of my Rose Gold Goddess challenge you got to get a little taste of stepping into five different goddess archetypes for five days.

But now imagine an entire month dedicated to just one goddess. So every month we’ll be working with the goddess archetype and I’ll be channeling those each month so they’re actually congruent to what’s happening energetically at that time for the collective. And we’re not just working with vedic and Hindu goddesses, but we’re actually working with Egyptian, Celtic, Yoruba, Persian, Greek, Roman, every type of tradition. Because every tradition has the goddess, and that’s really what I’m going to be talking about more in this episode as well.

But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, I don’t know if I’m going to be opening doors again, if this is just going to be a one time container that I open doors, and this is the crew, or if I will open doors again next year. But if you’re hearing this now and it’s still September, head over rosegoldgoddesses.com. You’ll be able to sign up, it is the cost of less than a meal out every month, so that’s $19.16 a month—that’s it, $19.16 a month. So I made this extremely affordable because I wanted no goddess to be left behind, I wanted this to be super accessible for everyone, something that you know, you could also write it off as a business expense, which is really cool.

But something that you can go on for support, whether it’s starting your own business, you can go on there being like, “Hey, I’m looking for a graphic designer, or I’m looking for someone to host this retreat with me, or any advice on how to start, you know, a healing business.” Or you can use it for just spiritual help like, “Oh, I’m trying to heal like my relationship with my mom. Anyone have advice?” Or I’m trying to work with my menstrual cycle more, or I’m trying to balance my doshas, or I want to connect to Saraswati, or whatever it is.

And the goddesses in this community are there to help you, and I promise you, if you listen to this podcast like these are your future best friends. Like these are the women that you wish you had in your life that you just haven’t been connected with yet because we just live in a really individualistic society that we only kind of know the people that were put into. Like the people from work, or the people from college, like the people that were put into situations with are tend to be the only people we know.

To be honest, like I look at my friends and it’s like most of them I met from someone else or something, but it’s really hard to just like meet totally new people that you don’t have any, you know, friend in common with. But those are the people that maybe exactly where your highest self is because you may just be friends with people who are not in alignment with where you want to be going, and maybe they’re sill partying, or you know, just not on the path of finding their dharma, at least not at this time.

And you want to have people around you that can support you in your spiritual journey that can uplift you, that can inspire you, that can take you up level. Because if you’re the conglomeration of the five people you spend your most time with, then don’t you want to be super picky on who you want to spend your time with? And this isn’t just time face to face, but it’s also like who are you texting, like who are you getting your advice from, who are your role models, who are the people that like if something’s happening, you know, you could turn to them?

And to be honest, most of us don’t have that. Like for most of us, it’s like a mom something, but we don’t really have a friend that’s going through the same things we are that’s like living in this day and age that we’re modern souls in ancient bodies, or vice versa. But you know, people who really are dedicated to this path, it’s hard to find friends like that, and I receive just so many messages from you guys like, “How can I help my kids with their doshas? Or how can I, you know, use this at the workplace? Or how can I go to India and have an amazing experience, et cetera.”

And I just was like, “If I could bring you all together so you could all just connect and talk to each other, all of your questions would be solved.” And that’s what prompted me to create Rose Gold Goddesses, to bring you all in one place off Instagram. I think we’ve all had a little bit enough of Instagram, sorry. But, you know, Instagram is so distracting, and what I don’t like about Instagram is it’s a monologue. It’s very me talking to you and everyone else just taking it in, but there’s no dialogue there. I mean there’s the comments, but like for real, like no one likes leaving comments, it’s annoying. You want to keep scrolling, and even with the comments, there’s no dialogue happening there. I mean there’s just trolls fighting each other, but it’s not really a good place to talk about these things. Like I’m not going to pour the depths of my soul on someone’s Instagram like comment.

So if you’re part of this community, you listen to these podcasts, you consider yourself someone who’s on the journey of becoming your highest self, you want to maybe work with the goddess archetypes. Maybe you know nothing about them, but you know, you’re just like your soul is calling out for more people in this community, I invite you to join. We also have month-to-month options, so you could just sign up for a month, and see how it goes, and decide if you want to continue or not so there’s really no risk in that. But I would do it now because you actually can’t later, the doors are going to be closing mid-September because I want to really cultivate this community, and I want people who get to know each other, and who are here for the long run.

So even if you’re not sure, I would sign up month-to-month so at least you have the option to be part of this community. And if you’re like, “Oh, hell yeah, this is for me,” just sign up for the annual because you save $10 a month, and you get a bonus perk as well, which you’ll see over on rosegoldgoddesses.com, and it’s just like you know, commit that to your soul. It’s like if you  know you need to go to the gym, just instead of paying more month-to-month, just sign up for the annual.

So I’m really excited to just have this community, I’m still going to be here on the podcast, I’m still going to be delivering to you guys, but the community’s going to be a whole other level. I mean, I’ve already recorded like really off the cuff conversations that I wouldn’t have on this podcast. I even recorded a whole thing on my experience somewhere that I don’t know if I’m going to share it on the podcast because it’s just so public here, like my mom listens to this. But Rose Gold Goddesses is like the crew, so if you want to really get like into like what I’m really working with, and other people are really working with, and just like a whole other level of vulnerability and authenticity, that’s Rose Gold Goddesses.

So head over to rosegoldgoddesses.com. Sign up, if you’re listening to this, and it’s later October, November, I’ll probably have a waitlist going for next time I open doors next year. So just sign up for the waitlist and make sure you get the email so you’re aware.

So today’s episode I wanted to talk about rivalry amongst women. So most of us are taught from an early age whether it’s from our own mothers, or grandmothers, or whether it’s from the media or combination of both. That women fight, women compete, women are jealous amongst each other, women are gossipy. Did you ever hear that? Did anyone—you never heard that? All of us, you know movies, if you think about like older movies, even Disney movies for example, the female protagonist had no female friends, it was always the females battling against each other, they’re battling for the prince’s attention, or they’re battling to be the most loved, or whatever it is, and women are always deemed as competition.

In fact, in the movie “Aladdin,” the reason why in the new “Aladdin” they actually created a new character, which was Princess Jasmine’s servant—I hate the word servant, but that’s what they called her—but they created that character because they realize that in “Aladdin,” Princess Jasmine is the only female character, the rest are all male—Aladdin, Sultan, Jafar, Abu, Rajah even. I’m an “Aladdin” nerd. But they created the servant so it could show like a strong female friendship in the media because we just never see that.

So think about all these old Disney movies, all movies in general, women are fighting against each other, they’re jealous of each other, they’re envious of each other’s success. Even if you look at, you know, like “Us Weekly,” and these celebrity gossip websites and magazines, it’s always women fighting for Brad—Angelina versus Jennifer Aniston fighting for Brad’s attention. This person—Katy Perry and whatever fighting for Orlando Bloom. Like it’s so sad because, first of all, it’s bullshit, and second of all, why do we find so much joy in pitting women against each other that are actually not? And making women think that they have to be against each other.

So this kind of archetype I did a lot of research on like why do we do this? And it actually stems from the patriarchy. So in ancient times we were a more not… we’ve shifted, okay, so we’ve had times that we’re matriarchal. Matriarchal is based off of the mother, based off of the feminine, based off of the woman, the woman are kind of like the heads of the household making the decisions. So we’ve had periods of time that have been matriarchal, and we’ve also—that we’re in right now—had periods of time that are patriarchal. Patriarchal is based off of the masculine.

Now the main switch happened between more matriarchy to neutral. I think we’ve also had times like real ancient times like in Lumarian times, for example, that we were more neutral amongst genders, but there has always been this kind of shift pendulum happening between. But when the modern religions started—I mean Christianity, Judaism, and then later on, Islam. Well, Judaism first, then Christianity, then Islam, but we shifted to become patriarchal. And if you are familiar with Mary Magdalene, and you know just the story of how all of that went down—which I won’t get super into, but there’s a great book called “The Magdalene Manuscripts” on that.

We, as a society, feared the power of the woman. Especially it was the church, they feared that women just had so much intuitive knowledge that they couldn’t be controlled, and the church wanted to give total authority over the society, they wanted to instill fear in people to make people afraid of what was happening so they would give all of their power to the church and the church could rule. Whereas the church now has become our government, our state, we’re in a church state.

So when this happened, they made everything that was related to the feminine considered taboo. So our menstrual cycles became taboo, before women would sit under a red tent, whether it was actually red or figuratively red, we don’t know historically. But they would sit in sacred circle together, and they would sing, and read poetry, and dance, and just join with each other, and bleed under the new moon. Typically women would bleed under the new moon, though women with more intuitive capabilities that were not meant to be mothers at this time bleed with the full moon.

So you could actually tell, energetically, are you meant to be more of like the leader at this time, you’re going to bleed with the full moon. If you’re meant to be more of like the mother, you bleed with the new moon, so my menstrual cycle often shifts between the two. So that could be a whole other podcast, let me know if you want that.

So we, as a society, have made menstruation be deemed as dirty when it was once sacred. Back in the day, men would come to women and say, “What should we do with the village? Where should we move forward?” And women, when they were on their menstrual cycles in this red tent would channel their response. But when patriarchy took over, and the church state became very, you know dominant, they said menstrual cycles are dirty, women are disgusting when they’re on their period, they cannot pray, you know, some even called it satanic, though it’s like the most natural thing.

So we could see this as an example of something sacred to women being taken away from them because of patriarchy. Now this has fueled the stereotype of feuding women. Because when women bounded together they were able to come to resolutions. You know, they’re going to be no longer villages fighting against each other because the women would just come together and come up with the solution to it. Like, by nature, the feminine is not confrontational, the masculine is confrontational. We all have a masculine side to us, but that is not a quality of the feminine, the feminine is water, the feminine merges, the feminine is fluid. Whereas the masculine is rigid, it’s fire, it’s like this is my way and that’s your way.

So back in the day when they were like, you know nation states fighting each other over territory, and beheading others, and pillaging villages, and raping the women, that could only be fueled by patriarchy, the feminine wouldn’t allow that. So this is again, they took power away from the feminine and they said, “Well, if this women come together, they’re not going to allow us to take over that city state, and to do the things that we want to do, and you know, be these worthless authoritarians that we want to be,” like Genghis Khan style. So they said, “Let’s get these women against each other.”

So they started to put women in situations that they would feud. For example, they have to fight over the king’s attention, or men choose the fairest of the village of who they want. So they would put women in these situations of scarcity, that there’s one of the thing that you want, which is security. Security can only come from being with a man, and this man gets to choose amongst all of you because he’s so all high, and all mighty, and you’re just a little woman, so all you can do is sit there, and look pretty, and be fair, the fairest of them all, and then maybe you’ll be chosen because that’s your only path to safety in this society.

Like literally think about the fairy tales we grew up with. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? First of all, fair means white, so if we look at that, fairest of them all means who’s the whitest of them all? And this is sad truth that still happens in many parts of the world. The whitest of them all was the most beautiful of them all, and this was the thing in my family as well, which is very, very sad because we’re brown people. But, you know, when I was a little girl, my grandma would be like, “Uh, please don’t go in the sun, you’re going to get so dark.” She would put yogurt on my arms so I wouldn’t be so dark. I used to pray to be white. Like because it was just so put into my mind like white is right, you’re gonna be fair if you’re white.

And what does that come from? It comes from the patriarchy. Why do we want white women? Well, because that means that they’re not in the sun. Because a woman who’s in the sun means she’s out there, she’s a worker, she’s a laborer, she’s a gardener, she’s doing things. So if she’s dark, that means she’s a worker. If she’s fair, that means she hasn’t left the palace, the dungeon.

So why do we want fair women? Because that means that they probably come from a more socioeconomically advanced background that they never had to work. So I’m a nerd about these things because I want to know like why we are even saying these things so we can change the paradigm here. Because, I mean, Disney movies really do say it all.

So the fairest of them all got her way, and to be the fairest of them all you had to fight against the other people because there can only be one. And they put women against each other in situations like, again, there’s one head of the household, or even in slave times, there’s one woman who works directly with the master, and the rest of you guys don’t get to talk to him. Or they even made it a privilege to be the lover of the master, and to have a half-white baby, what a privilege that would be to get the master’s attention.

Like it’s so sad that this has been put upon us. And what’s sadder is that this still exists. We see this in reality TV, we see this in these game shows, like “The Bachelor.” And I know, there are men competing over a woman too. But let’s stop this, let’s stop this competition because it’s fueling an unhappy relationship. Because men have always been competitive with each other, that’s part of their nature, they fuel off this competition. But because it’s part of men’s nature I feel like they have a better ability to turn it off emotionally.

Like men can be in this like ravenous fight with each other, and then they could just emotionally turn it off and be like, “Okay, now we’re cool.” Whereas like that’s not the case for a woman. Like women, when they are… they won’t physically really get into a fight with someone, but it will be this emotional thing that even if they hug it out, they’re like, “I hate you.” And it just eats you alive, and you’re thinking about it all the time, and it’s like this running story that’s constantly happening because we’re so integrative, and we’re so like one thing that’s happening to us will affect all other areas of our life.

And this is why we can’t just turn it off, you know, and that’s why when we’re not in like good relationships with people, we’re in a fight with someone, et cetera, friend break-ups are super hard for women. They’re very easy for men. Men are like, “Oh yeah, I don’t like that dude, I’m just not gonna call him back.” Whereas women are like, “Okay, I feel like me and this friend are not in alignment anymore, but like do I tell her or not? And like I need to like have a conference with three other friends that I’m going to slowly back myself out.” Like it’s a thing, let’s be real, we’ve all had these situations, and it takes a lot out of us emotionally.

So we feel things, we feel things, that’s our super power. But this super power has been used against us, and it has made us become jealous of each other, become envious that if one woman’s success will take away from your success, one woman’s beauty will take away from your beauty, one woman’s you know, anything, is in some way threatening yourself, which is false. It’s just not true, we can have multiple successful women, in fact, we could have every woman be successful and every man be successful. Everyone can win.

It’s not “The Bachelor” here, there’s not one winner, everyone can be their highest selves, everyone can commit to their dharmas because not all our dharmas are the same. There’s not one dharmic contestant, like this is why I’m really happy that we’re shifting away from like the paradigm of like the actor that has to go to the audition, or the singer that has to get chosen by the record label. I’m so glad for social media, YouTube, et cetera because now an actor can be like, “Screw you, I’m gonna start a YouTube channel.” Or a singer can be like, “I’m just gonna put this shit on Soundcloud,” and they don’t have to be competing over this one spot that so many people go to.

I mean, when I first moved to L.A., I wanted to be a commercial actress. For some weird reason I thought that would be really cool. I went to one audition, I was like, “What the hell.” It’s all of these people who, you know, I wasn’t really in a casted one, but sometimes there are these casted ones, and it’s like, “Asian, 120-pound females with medium brown hair and a mole on her left chin. Like it’s so specific, so you’re in a room with all these people that look exactly like you, and you’re all nice to each other, but you’re actually competing over the one spot.

Like this is what the patriarchy fuels on, this idea of scarcity, this idea that there’s not enough, and it comes from divide and conquer. If we can divide women, if we can make women feud and fight, they will not band together. They will not come to a mutual agreement. They will not celebrate each other, and actually make each other stronger than they are when they create a community.

For example, we can see the power of community with the Me Too movement. This was women coming together to say, “I’ve had enough, I’m going to share what happened to me, and I’m going to tell the truth of it.” And we saw the power it created in the world, a ripple effect of women sharing their truth. And what happened as a result? Women won. We had laws in place to protect women so sexual assault does not happen in the workplace anymore, or anywhere.

So the patriarchy does not want women to band together, and the patriarchy does not equate to men, there are many men who are super supportive of the rise of the feminine. And it’s not the rise of the women so we’re a female-based system, and there’s no more men, I believe we need to come to a more egalitarian time where men and women are totally equal, though they come with different gifts.

But for that to happen we need the feminine to rise because it’s like the masculine is like all the way up here on like floor ten, and the feminine is over here on floor five because like we couldn’t vote until the late 1800s. A little bit of, you know, it’s like when you’re playing Mario, and like you’re for some reason you press “go” too early, and you can’t go immediately—anyone? It’s the most frustrating thing because then your opponent is way ahead of you.

So this is what’s happening to us women. We have been brought so far back, the same thing that’s happening with the black community right now. It’s like, okay, y’all have had a really big head start, so this is why we need more cultivating of black culture, and community, and education, et cetera. And the same thing with the feminine because women have been pushed back, they’ve been systemically oppressed. We can’t deny that as a fact.

So you can take someone that’s been systemically oppressed. For example, if I was beating you over the head, and then I’m like, “Okay, equality, I’m going to stop beating you over the head.” It’s like, “Wait, no, I just lost a bunch of like brain cells, and I need to recover from this for me to even get to where you are.” It’s not about you stopping beating me on the head, it’s about me being able to be at the same place that you are, the same health, the same standards that you are. So then it’s actually a free plane that we’re both able to run.

And again, it’s not to compete, this is not a competition between man and woman, this is to give equal playing grounds, okay? So I feel like you guys agree, and you know this, but I just do want to say it’s not about, “Oh, women are better than men, or anything like that, this is just about us supporting women to stop feuding each other, to stop seeing each other as the jealousy. And it’s sad because a lot of men still like this, men want women to fight against each other. Not all men, but a lot of men because it feeds their egos, and it makes them feel important.

Have you ever met a guy that said, “Ugh, all these chicks just want me so bad, they’re fighting over me, they’re all trying to compete for my attention.” Well, you need to stop that guy right there, and be like, “No, you’re freaking delusional, and you’re trying to create this competition, and we women are not willing to play this game anymore. We’re not going to fight. You know, we only want to be with people who want to be with us. This is not a competition, this is not a competition for a job, this is not a competition for beauty, this is not a competition for anything.”

Because if women come together we can actually go so much further. This is the same thing they did in the Middle East, they divide and they conquer, because if all of the Middle Eastern countries are fighting against each other than we’re not focusing on what really matters, which is coming together and creating a stronger civilization, and going back to the ancient ways. Instead we’re too busy fighting against each other.

So this is the same thing that we need to do as women, which we are doing, since 2012 with the shift into the Aquarian age. There is this massive rise of the divine feminine, and women supporting each other, and this is just the beginning. Like we’re just here in 2019, it’s only been the first seven years of this, so this is why more than ever we need to take initiative to join other women, we need to join communities of women, we need to band together as one and share our insights, share our knowledge, share our passion, not be afraid.

You know, I was always told like, “Don’t tell people your best ideas. Don’t tell people things because they’re going to steal it from you.” Like that’s bullshit, tell people your ideas and let them support you, and let them celebrate you. And again, of course, there may be some competitive girls out there because they’re not aligned with the true goddess that they are, but you can find millions of women who are, and let’s focus our attention on that instead of the women who are banding against each other. Let’s focus on the women who are banding together and create a bigger community so those women who are still, you know, being jealous of each other.

Like I’ve had women in the influencer space who are super competitive with each other, who have a really hard time making female friends because they feel like, “Oh, well she’s better than me, or she’s smarter than me.” And I pray for that person, and I’m like, “You know, that’s just not her time.” And I’m not here to convince anyone to do anything, I’m just here to shine my greatest light. And there are a million other women out there who are on that same wavelength of to support each other, to empower each other, and to uplift and inspire each other so we can shine into our highest lights.

And this is exactly what I’ve created as part of Rose Gold Goddesses. This is your home, this is your sisterhood, this is your community that you’ve just been praying for, and calling in, and just hoping that you could meet those people who are aligned with you, who you could share these things with and not have to feel like they’re judging you or jealous of you. Because there are women out there who still are. You share what happened, good for you, and they’re jealous, or they hold it against you. Those are not the women you want to be putting your love, and attention, and energy to.

Whereas there’s so many other women that you could share the best thing that happened to you, even if it’s never happened for them, and they’re like, “Hell yeah, that’s amazing. I love that this is happening because when you win, it’s a win for all people.” And these are the people you are here to be surrounded by, and you’re going to meet them when you join Rose Gold Goddesses. So head over to rosegoldgoddesses.com. You can sign up instantly, join the community, there’s already tons of discussions happening, live meet-ups in the works. I have my launch parties happening—L.A., New York, Miami, San Francisco, Canada, going to do Chicago, just keep the party going. I’m going to be going to Europe next year doing some there, live events just happening amongst the goddesses that are creating their own events and communities in their states and countries around the world.

Like this is a serious uprising of the feminine, and I’m only opening doors right now. So if you’re feeling the call, if you’re ready to be part of something that’s so much greater than you and finally have the sisterhood that you’ve been calling in, please say yes to your soul. Head over to rosegoldgoddesses.com, and I’m looking forward to seeing you in there. Namaste.

Episode 220 – Why Female Rivalry is Patriarchal BS with Sahara Rose


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