Have you ever ended things with someone and still felt them? You think of them at random moments. You feel their mood from across the city. You know it’s over, and yet some part of your energy is still with them. This is what many people call a soul tie.

In this post I’m sharing what a soul tie is from a spiritual and energetic perspective, the signs you’re carrying one, and the cord-clearing ritual I use to call my energy back.

What Is a Soul Tie?

A soul tie is an energetic bond between two people. In many traditions, when we share deep intimacy, whether emotional, physical or spiritual, we exchange energy. Over time that exchange creates what I call an energetic cord, a thread of connection between your energy body and theirs.

Cords themselves are natural. We have them with our mothers, our best friends and our children. Some carry love and nourishment. The trouble comes when a cord stays plugged in after a connection has ended, or when it’s been draining you all along.

Why Intimacy Creates Soul Ties

In my teachings on tantra and sacred sexuality, I talk about how intimacy is an exchange of life force. When you open your body to someone, you’re also opening your energy field. You take on some of their emotions, their patterns and even their ancestral stories, and they take on some of yours.

This is why it’s so important to be intentional about who you let into your temple. It’s a way of honoring how sacred your energy actually is.

Signs You Have a Soul Tie

• You think about them constantly, even when you don’t want to.
• You feel their emotions or sense when they’re thinking of you.
• You keep checking their social media.
• You compare everyone new to them.
• You feel drained, foggy or heavy since the connection ended.
• You dream about them often.
• You keep going back, even though you know it isn’t aligned.

Some of these overlap with limerence and with a karmic relationship. Often all three are woven together.

Soul Tie vs. Soulmate

A soul tie is about the energy you’re still holding. A soulmate is a soul you’ve agreed to grow with in this lifetime. You can have a soul tie with someone who was never meant to stay, and you can share a soulmate connection with someone and still need to clear the cords when it’s complete. Intensity of attachment says more about the cord than about destiny. For more on this, read my post on twin flames.

How to Break a Soul Tie: A Cord-Clearing Ritual

Breaking a soul tie doesn’t mean erasing love or pretending something didn’t matter. It means returning what’s yours, releasing what’s theirs and choosing where your life force goes from here.

1. Create Sacred Space

Light a candle, burn some incense or palo santo, and sit somewhere you won’t be disturbed. Place your hands on your heart and take a few deep breaths into your belly.

2. Visualize the Cord

Bring the person into your mind’s eye. Notice where you feel connected to them in your body. Is it your heart, your belly, your throat or your womb? See the cord running between you. Notice its color and thickness.

3. Thank the Connection

Say, “Thank you for everything you taught me. I honor what we shared.” Gratitude is what allows the cord to dissolve with love instead of tearing.

4. Call Your Energy Back

Say, “I call back all of my energy from you, across all time, space and dimensions. I return all of your energy to you.” Visualize golden light flowing back into your body and their energy returning to them.

5. Release the Cord

See the cord dissolving into light, or imagine Archangel Michael gently cutting it with his sword. Breathe. Notice the space it leaves behind.

6. Fill the Space

Fill that space with your own light. Place your hands on the area and say, “This space belongs to me. I fill it with my own love.” Then drink water, take a salt bath or walk barefoot on the earth.

You may need to repeat this ritual a few times, especially for long relationships. Each time, the cord gets lighter.

Support Your Energy After a Soul Tie

Clearing the cord is the energetic part. The human part is also important. Unfollow or mute where needed. Lean on your soul friends. Move your body. Put that creative energy into something you love. My guide on how to get over a breakup walks through this in depth.

Many women find that a season of celibacy after a soul tie helps them return fully to themselves before inviting anyone new in.

Why Soul Ties Feel So Hard to Break

You can delete the number. You can move apartments. Still you wake up thinking about him. That’s because a soul tie lives in the body as much as in the mind.

Your nervous system remembers his smell, his voice, the weight of his arm across you at night. When that disappears, your body goes looking for it, the same way you reach for your phone in a pocket where it used to be. The craving is your system asking for something familiar. It’s simply chemistry and energy, and it softens with time and care.

This is why I always pair energy work with body work. Clear the cord in meditation, then go dance it out, cry in the shower, shake your hands, stretch on the floor. Let your body complete what your mind already decided.

Soul Ties With Family and Friends

We usually talk about soul ties in romance, and yet some of the strongest cords we carry are with our mothers, fathers and old best friends. You might notice them when you go home for the holidays and suddenly feel twelve again. Or when an old friend calls and you slip back into a role you outgrew years ago.

These cords can be honored instead of cut. In the ritual above, you can ask to release the energy of the old dynamic while keeping the love. Try saying, “I release the version of me that needed to play this role. I keep the love between our souls.” Many women find this changes how family visits feel almost immediately.

How to Avoid Creating New Unhealthy Soul Ties

Once you’ve cleared your field, you’ll start to feel how precious your energy is. A few things that help:

• Slow down physical intimacy until you’ve seen how someone treats you over time.
• Notice how you feel in your body the day after time together. Lighter or heavier?
• Do a quick cord-clearing after intense dates, conversations or encounters.
• Keep your own spiritual practice strong, so your energy has a home to return to.

Your energy is sacred. Let the people who receive it be the ones who honor it.

When I went through my own heartbreak, I realized how much of my energy I’d been leaving in other people. My book Maybe This Love Story Is Really About Me is all about calling that energy home.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a soul tie?

A soul tie is an energetic bond between two people, often formed through deep emotional or physical intimacy, that can keep you connected even after the relationship ends.

Can you have a soul tie without being intimate?

Yes. Soul ties can form through emotional intimacy, long friendships, family relationships or intense spiritual connection.

How long does it take to break a soul tie?

It depends on the depth of the connection. Some cords clear after one ritual. Longer relationships often take repeated clearing alongside real emotional healing.

Is a soul tie a sign they’re my soulmate?

Not necessarily. A soul tie reflects energy that’s still exchanging between you. It doesn’t mean the relationship is meant to continue.

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