10 Things Only Kaphas Will Understand

Originally published in Yoga Journal on June 9, 2017.

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The Kapha dosha is comprised of Earth and water energy. It’s soothing, grounding, cooling and sometimes lazy. Kaphas are known to be nurturing and supportive but sometimes have a difficult time with their own self-care because they put the needs of others before their own. They’re habitual and stable, which others can sometimes see as boring and repetitive. Though they are the most loving of the doshas, they also are the most likely to suffer from depression because they keep what is going on internally inside of themselves, which leads to throat chakra imbalance issues such as thyroid problems, mucus and colds. The hardest part for them is allowing more movement into their lives.

When Kaphas are in balance, they are peaceful, grounded, and authentic. When Kaphas fall out of balance, they binge-eat and under-exercise, causing weight-gain and diabetes. If you’re a Kapha, you will likely relate to some of the following situations. (Take our Dosha Quiz now to discover your own mind-body type.)

  1. People who wake up bursting with energy in the morning make you even more tired.

Kaphas will likely relate to this internal dialogue: “Can you just use your ‘indoor voice’ on the 6 am? It’s only common courtesy to us exhausted people.”

  1. You aren’t even sure what your personality would be like without coffee, matcha, or yerba mate.

It would be something between a blob, teddy bear, and the cookie monster. Kaphas just want food, sleep, and cuddles.

  1. People with road rage make you laugh.

Kaphas don’t tend to take life so seriously—or rush anywhere. “Congrats on that awesome left turn you snuck in last minute before the light turned red. You deserve a reward for that one, Pitta! Have fun stressing all day at work,” you think.

  1. You’d rather lunch than lunge.

Workout during your lunch break? Umm then when are you supposed to eat?

  1. Your Sunday church? Namaste in bed—all day.

Sundays are sacred and so is your bed. You aren’t about checking out the latest open houses or reading the mega edition of the New York Times. Kaphas like to invest in rest—it’s a sure bet and has never failed you before.

  1. You can go the whole day without eating but once you start your stomach is like a never-ending pit.

Kaphas go from sweet to salty to food coma faster than it would’ve taken to make a pot of Kitchari. Maybe it’s time to conquer your fear of a pressure cooker.

  1. You don’t get how some people eat whatever they want and don’t gain a pound.

Kaphas gain weight easily—like just looking at their fries. “And the milkshake with it, girl? You serious? I feel like I’m channeling the cellulite for you.”

  1. You were basically born a Grandmother.

Kaphas love working with their hands—cooking, knitting, sewing. Can knitting clubs be a thing again? Apparently they are in Portland, another reason on your list to move there. At least in Portland, other people understand your ideal Friday night set-up: pajama pants, a recipe book, some handicrafts and tea. Lots of tea. And something sweet because #YOLO.

  1. Networking events give you the heebie jeebies…

Your idea of socializing is asking fellow party-goers what they think of the hummus. You end up leaving with zero business cards and a purseful of samples.

  1. You can’t leave a party without having someone spill their life story and thank you for your guidance and support.

Kaphas are great listeners and empathizers. You’re a problemed-people magnet and wouldn’t have it any other way. No wonder your friend group has dubbed you Oprah.

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