Highest Self Podcast 518: Letting Go Of Expectations To Create Your Best Life with Amanda Sevilla


In this week’s Highest Self Podcast episode, one of my former students at Dharma Coaching Institute, Amanda, shows us how you can use where you’re at right now to completely shift your timeline.

Today Amanda shares what she did to change her course when her life felt stuck on autopilot for so long.

In this episode, we’ll be talking about:
– The force that always guides you and wants you to win and succeed
– The ultimate pathway to your highest self
– 5 things in the Dharma Blueprint that give you a tangible plan of action
– How what’s keeping you safe is often keeping you small
– How standing out is the new standard
– Why you have to take risks to do something that’s never been done before
– Why you have to be okay with people not liking you if you want to impact the world
– Why having a reason for being and waking up resolves so many health issues
– How my dharma guided me through my divorce
– What you have to let go of to manifest abundance and success
– The belief you need to shift to gain huge momentum

Amanda’s beautiful story reinforces that everything you want can only exist when you step into the unknown.

Connect with Amanda on Instagram here: https://instagram.com/amandavsevilla?…

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Intro + Outro Music: Silent Ganges by Maneesh de Moor

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Episode #518: Letting Go Of Expectations To Create Your Best Life with Amanda Sevilla
By Sahara Rose

[00:00] Sahara
Wait! You want to out? Like, no, no, no, we’ve done everything to fit in. So, I think there’s a lot of that, especially with immigrant families of, like, this fear of standing out and what will happen to me.

[00:13] Amanda
Exactly! But I feel like, now, with this new shift, with this new paradigm we’re going into, standing out is actually the new standard, being unique, being true to yourself, doing the things that you love to do, that you’re excited about that’s different, that’s what’s going to set the tone.


[00:40] Sahara
Welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast! My name is Sahara Rose, and in this Podcast, I love to take spirituality and really make it grounded, relatable, fun, so it can serve your needs, because the truth is, spirituality is who we are, it’s an integral part of our purpose, our relationships, our friendships, everything that we do.

[00:58] Sahara
And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in this journey, it’s that we’re always guided and that there is a force that is so much greater than us, that wants us to win, and wants us to succeed, and is so loving and so benevolent, but the thing is, we just don’t listen.

[01:13] Sahara
And I believe that we were all here, born with a sacred purpose, a big reason for being, and this is beyond one career, or role, or job, but really, it is our unique soul expression.
In Vedic spirituality, in Sanskrit, they say that this is our dharma. So, your dharma is really who you are when you are fully alive, fully activated.

[01:36] Sahara
So, me being here with my mermaid hair, on this Podcast, bringing these spiritual concepts to the people, this is part of my dharma. And every single person has their own unique expression of this. So, imagine if we’re all like this giant jigsaw puzzle across reality, every single person has a role to play in this piece of the puzzle, and that piece can also shift over time. Maybe your role was to, you know, teach preschool kids for a period of your life, and then that shifted, but you learned compassion and empathy through that experience, which guided you into becoming a coach, and then, maybe being a coach, taught you communication, which guided you into writing books or speaking, which guided you into podcasting, which guided you into courses, certifications, I mean, the list goes on.
So, I believe that our dharma is really here, informing us of what is next. And our only job, really, here is to listen.

[02:28] Sahara
So, my journey really started with my health challenges. My health challenges were the first assignment that my soul needed to awaken me, that I am so much more than my mind and body, but rather, I am a soul that my mind and body are a reflection of. So, my health challenges got my body shutting down when I was 21 years old, digestive issues, hormonal imbalances, that doctors kept prescribing me prescription medication to heal. That brought me into becoming a self-healer, into learning why is my body out of balance, which, eventually, brought me to Ayurveda (Ayurveda being the sister science of yoga). And then, that journey of healing myself through Ayurveda, I wanted to, naturally, share this with other people, and that’s what brought me into blogging and then writing my first book, then writing my book on Ayurveda, led to writing my second book, led to writing my third book, and then, all of a sudden, I had this career teaching Ayurveda. And then people would ask me “How did you go from, you know, broke girl, a lot of issues with my family, didn’t, you know, didn’t fully believe in myself, to Deepak Chopra writing the forewords to three of my books, and you know, putting myself out there and speaking on stages, how did you make this shift?”, and that’s what brought me into starting to write about living your dharma, your soul’s purpose, which led to me writing “Discover Your Dharma”, my book that came out in 2021, and then creating The Dharma Coaching Institute, which is the world’s first and only school that certifies Soul Purpose Dharma Coaches.
So, these are coaches that actually go out into the world and train other people to live their soul’s purpose, and the ripple effect just goes on of, you know, you awaken someone’s purpose, and they awaken someone else’s, and they awaken someone else’s. So, it’s been so beautiful to witness that movement that has now, even gotten bigger, to The Highest Self Institute, that brings all forms of spirituality into really grounded ways into people’s lives.

[04:15] Sahara
So, I share this because I’m no different from you, I’m 32 years old, and I have been able to create so much in my life because I have listened to my dharma.

[04:24] Sahara
And in today’s Episode, you are actually going to hear one of my former students at The Dharma Coaching Institute, who has also completely shifted her life.
So, she went from studying pre-med, comes from an Asian family, just like myself, you know, trying to do the thing to be successful and make your family proud, into understanding who am I and realizing the opportunity that we have with social media, and the fact, that I believe, our souls chose to incarnate at this time where, literally, anyone can be their own Oprah. You can get a little $15 microphone and start talking, that’s how I started this Podcast seven years ago.
And there’s so much freedom, which can also come with a lot of confusion, a lot of anxiety, because we’re like “I don’t know what to do”.

[05:09] Sahara
So, I wanted to bring Amanda on the Podcast today because I know a lot of you guys are in that part where you’re like “Okay, Sahara, you got your shit figured out, I can’t relate”, and I’m like “Fine, fine”, it’s like, okay, so, let me bring on Amanda because Amanda has gone through this transformation, not so long ago, but is, like, living her dharma, coaching, sharing her gifts, has online courses and has also been able to do this in a way that is really authentic to who she is, and taken her life’s unique experiences into her purpose.

[05:38] Sahara
So, I feel, when we hear different stories like this, and have conversations like this, it creates evidence in our mind that “It is possible for me too”.
And I used to think there were, like, certain people in the world that had purposes and others who didn’t, like, you’re either Justin Bieber, or you’re fucking screwed (that’s what I thought). And I’m like “I don’t have a good voice”, I can rap though – stop, drop, kaboom baby, no, I’m kidding.
But I used to think you had to have a gift like that, and otherwise you just had to get a shitty job and, like, wait till the weekends. And that’s not the truth at all.

[06:09] Sahara
In fact, the beautiful thing about your dharma is, everyone has a unique piece of this puzzle, so, we need the person who is really good with fashion, to help us with our outfits; and the person who’s really good at organization, to help us with our accounting; and the person who’s really good at event planning, to help us with that; and the person who’s really good at empathy, to help us with our coaching. Every single person has a code and we all need everyone, and it’s coming back to the ways of the tribe and the ways of the village where every single person, we could come to them – the shaman, for their wisdom; the medicine woman, for her herbs; the astrologer, for what’s happening in the constellations; the teacher, for teaching our kids. Everyone had an important (an equally important) role to play, though different.

[06:50] Sahara
And I feel we’re coming back to this way, in this new paradigm that we’re in, and we are each, individually, awakening and activating.
Many of you guys have told me, just this Podcast, like, certain Episodes you’ve heard, have been these, like, transmissions and activators for me too.

[07:05] Sahara
So, I know for myself, in my journey, I would listen to podcasts and be like “Oh my god, I wish I could, you know, write a book on sensuality one day, but I can’t because my family’s from Iran, like, I would never”, and then, you know, over time, now I’m sharing about sensuality on this Podcast. If I hadn’t heard so many people do it on other people’s podcasts, I would’ve never known it was possible for me too.

[07:26] Sahara
So, my invitation to you is to just, like, really let in the possibility that you can be here on this Podcast one day, I can be interviewing you, one day, about your story.
Like, Amanda signed up for DCI two years ago and is here, a guest, on this Podcast, so, it just shows.
And you can create your own podcast, maybe you’ll interview me one day, we’ll do a little podcast swap. So, you just never know, and that’s the beauty of stepping into the unknown. Yeah, it can be scary as fuck, but it’s also as expansive as fuck, and everything that you want, can only exist when you step into that container.

[07:57] Sahara
So, let’s welcome Amanda, here on The Highest Self Podcast.

[08:01] Amanda
Hello, hello, Sahara, thank you so much for having me! That was an amazing intro, as always.

[08:05] Sahara
Yes! The first question I’d love to ask you is, what makes you your highest self?

[08:10] Amanda
What makes me my highest self? I should have thought about this question.

[08:14] Sahara
You didn’t see that one coming.

[08:16] Amanda
None of us did. I would say, from the top of my head, what makes me my highest self, is whatever excites me at that time, whatever is fun, whatever feels like the most me at that moment, and tapping into that would be me being my most highest self.

[08:34] Sahara
Well, excitement is one of the parts of the dharma blueprint.

[08:37] Amanda

[08:38] Sahara
So, for those of you who haven’t read “Discover Your Dharma”, the Dharma Blueprint is the five-part method that we use at DCI to coach people. So, it’s what you’re excited about, your mediums that come through you, whether it’s speaking, writing, analyzing, whatever that is, having conversations, coaching, uhm, your superpowers, things that come easily for you that might not come easily for other people, the obstacles you’ve overcome, or helped someone else overcome. And then your Dharma Archetype, which is a quiz I’ve created that you can learn about at dharmaarchetypequiz.com
So, putting these five things together, creates your Dharma Blueprint, and that gives you a plan of action, because it’s like your purpose is this big lofty thing and you’re just like “What do I do with it? It’s like, my purpose is to raise the vibration of the planet”, and it’s like, okay, how do we direct that energy now.
And when you do the Dharma Blueprint, it gives you this, like, tangible thing of “Okay, I can bring these elements of myself together into helping women, helping young moms, specifically, who are overwhelmed with young children, carve out me time, to step into their purpose, like, something as specific as that, that’s what the Dharma Blueprint gives.
So, I love that excitement because it’s like, excitement is the ignition under the fire that, if you’re not excited about something, you’re not going to have the energy to withstand and do it day in and day out, and that’s what it takes to live your dharma. You’re just going to just give up on that thing if you’re not hella excited about it. So, it is the ultimate pathway to the higher self.

[10:04] Amanda
Exactly, exactly! And excitement is one of those things that I, up until, maybe, five years ago, did not prioritize. I was like, like you said earlier, with Asian families, and just that immigrant family background, yeah, do the thing that you’re excited about, after you go to law school, after you got to med school, get your 401K, make sure all of your debts are paid off and then, you know, go dance, go do whatever it is that you actually wanted to do in the first place.

[10:30] Sahara
You know, I was thinking today – so, I just got these two new tattoos, and like, when I was a teenager, I was very, like, I was just studying all the time, you know, I was just like “I just need to get into college”, and it’s like, all I cared about, so I never had inner teenager years. And so, I would say, like, now, I’m like “Oh, tattoos, oo”, like, you know, I’m having fun, and I’m 32.
So, I texted my mom these tattoos and she’s like “Ohhh, these are…what are people going to think, these are so bad, blah, blah, blah”, and she’s like “You’re not a teenager anymore”, and I’m like, isn’t it interesting how immigrant parents, when you’re a teenager, if I got these tattoos, they’d say “You’re not an adult, you can get these tattoos”, or “You’re not an adult, you can’t do the thing you’re excited about”, and then, you get the tattoo, you do the thing you’re excited as an adult, “You’re not a teenager anymore to get these”, it’s like, they’re always going to tell you the opposite. So, it’s like, you just have to do it now because it’s coming from their conditioning.
And I see so many of us, we spend so much time trying to get our parents to understand our perspective, instead of just focusing that energy towards our dharma. Like, you would’ve written that book, created that coaching practice, done that thing, with all the energy you spent trying to convince your parents that it’s possible.

[11:38] Amanda
Yes, yeah, totally. And it’s interesting you’re bringing this up because I actually live with my parents right now. We did a lot of investing, wedding stuff, just, uhm, real-estate investment stuff, and we’re just like “You know, let’s just reset for this next year and live with my parents”, so, we’re doing that right now and I’ve just noticed how much I have grown and changed in this whole perspective because I’ve gotten, maybe, five new tattoos since living under their home, my entire forearm and just everything, and they’re the type of people like your mom, probably as well, my dad saw my tattoos and he was like “Oh my gosh, stop hurting yourself, like, you’re ruining your body”. And ten years ago, or five years ago, even, I would’ve tried my hardest to tell them “Hey, you don’t understand, the indigenous people from the Philippines all had so many tattoos, this is so natural to us, actually it’s returning to who we are”, and now I’m just like “Yeah, that’s okay, I like it”, like “If you don’t like it, that’s fine, I still make money. Like, I’m successful in helping people, I have great intentions and I just have no need to prove to anyone”, and they still love me, no matter what.

[12:43] Sahara
You know, it’s like, our parents are doing what they believe will keep us safe. And keeping us safe is often what will keep us small, especially immigrant parents. It’s like, you needed to assimilate into this culture, and fit in, and paint inside the lines, and not stand out, otherwise, you’re going to be called out, you’re going to be made fun of, you’re going to be the one who, you know, no one invites into the culture and the community, so it’s like, doing something like getting tattoos, or becoming an entrepreneur, or posting on social media, these are things like, “Wait, you want to stand out? Like, no, no, no, we’ve done everything to fit in”. So, I think there’s a lot of that, especially with immigrant families, of like this fear of standing out and what will happen to me.

[13:26] Amanda
Exactly, but I feel like, now, with this new shift, with this new paradigm we’re going into, standing out is actually the new standard, being unique, being true to yourself, doing the things that you love to do, that you’re excited about that’s different, that’s what’s going to set the tone these days.

[13:43] Sahara
Absolutely, because, they grew up in a time where the highest form of success was to get a corporate job and climb the corporate ladder.

[13:51] Amanda

[13:51] Sahara
So, you needed to assimilate really well with that team culture to get the next, the corner office, one day, you know. Whereas for us, a lot of us, you know, people listening to this Podcast, we want to do something unique, something that’s never been done before. But to do something that’s never been done before, you’ve got to take risks, you’ve got to do things that’ve never been done before, people aren’t going to like you, it’s going to bring up everyone’s shit, especially those closest to you who are like “Wait, no, no, no, I know you better than you know yourself. You’re this kind of person”, and it’s like, oh, no, that’s who they want you to be to preserve their own personal identity.
And I see, a lot of times, we feel that guilt or that sense of responsibility. I know, I used to feel like my parents sacrificed so much for me, so maybe, like, the one thing I’ll give them is, like, my purpose, like, I’ll just that one thing for them, as if it’s, like, this one time only, I’ll just, you know…because it was rocking the boat so much that I was just like, I don’t even know how I would get through the other side of this, but it was like, but that was my life path that I needed to go through of, you know, if I want to impact the world, I have to be okay with my family not liking me, if I’m going to be okay with people in the world not liking me. So, it’s like, often, our souls often chose, I believe, the microcosm of the macrocosm that we’re here to solve, that, we often chose parents who are limited in their worldview. If we want to have an expansive worldview, we want to choose families that are traditionalists, if we want to be trailblazers, we need to choose families that have addiction, if we want to know what it’s like to be liberated, it’s like, we can only learn through contrast that we often choose to incarnate into the family that’s the exact opposite of who we’re here to be so that we can see that front row seats of like “Oh, this is what narcissism looks like here; Oh, this is what co-dependency looks like here; Oh, this is what lies and family secrets and the family blah, blah, blah. Oh, I see it now, I see the intergenerational trauma that creates and it ends with me”.

[15:42] Amanda
Exactly, exactly, beautiful.

[15:45] Sahara
So, I’m curious now, on your journey of then, you know, you started – just to give a little background of yourself, maybe you can share how you, kind of, came into coaching?

[15:54] Amanda
Yes, beautiful. So, I think this is pretty typical of a lot of people that, you know, who are now coaches and love coaching, but I feel like I’ve been coaching my entire life.

[16:05] Sahara
Unpaid coaches. Here, unpaid coach, raise your hand. You better get paid for that shit.

[16:09] Amanda
That’s me, that’s me. So, I am the youngest of four, so, I have three older siblings, they’re all about ten years older than me, and, of course, that meant that I had three extra parents and also three fun siblings. But what happened to me, which is the fun part of this all, is, as they got older and they became teenagers and then went into their 20s, I was just always around, so, essentially, I was a dumb John, but I had learned how to hold space, and listen, and just share what I see, so, I’ve been coaching for a very long time.
So, we’ll fast-forward from that point into college. I, initially, wanted to go into the medical field, I wanted to become a doctor because I was making potions in my back yard when I was a kid, I was trying to heal my puppies, I was trying to find any birds that had flown into a window and take them out, and like, give them water, and shade, and rest. So, I knew that I wanted to heal, and with the limited scope that I had, I knew to heal, and to achieve, and to make my parents proud, I think I should be a doctor, I think that’s just the way to do it.
So, I just chose that and kind of went on autopilot with that narrative. And of course, high school, college, they don’t really encourage you to look beyond what you’ve chosen, they ask you what you want to be when you’re five and, kind of, hold you to it.
So, all throughout high school and college, I had prepped myself “Okay, I’m going to go to medical school, I’m going to do the whole science thing, I don’t know what major yet I want, but I know I just want to go into medicine”, and the whole thing. I went to college, I went to Boston, so I was there for about two years. But my first year that I was there, I stumbled upon a plant-based diet, and just little background for anybody’s who’s unfamiliar with Philippino culture, Philippino diet, my family and the people who are within the Philippino culture, we typically eat a diet that’s very high in meat, high in refined carbs and white rice and stuff. And so, I always thought things like heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and diabetes were just things you get when you’re old, because I saw all my family members get it, and I was just like “Okay, like, I would like to help people with this”. But when I learn about a plant-based diet, but more importantly, just a healthier diet overall, a healthier pattern of eating, and the fact that it could either reverse or prevent some diseases, that I thought we would just get when we’re more older, I was like “I really need to learn this, I’m very interested in this”. So, there was my first little ding of excitement, I’m excited about the way that we can use nutrition as free medicine to help people improve their health. And I went from there into nutrition, I decided to major in nutrition instead of just your basic biology, or chemistry, or biochemistry. At the same time, I had a little bit of fo-mo, from my family back home.
So, I’m born and raised in Southern California, I’m the youngest, so, everybody was getting married, they’re having kids, I came back because I wanted to be closer, but also because Loma Linda University, which is, kind of, in the desert in Southern California, is one of the five blue zones in the world. And I was very much into blue zones at that time, just the whole longevity stuck, and is known as a vegetarian campus, I was like “Okay, this, kind of, aligns, cool”. I went through that and I ended up becoming a dietitian, I was able to sit and take the test because I had some internship hours completed and I worked clinically.
So, up until this point, all…like, my life, kind of, felt like it was on autopilot because it still fit the role, or it fit the path, of me going into medical school.
And once I had finished my college years and I was about to go to my clinical work, just to get experience so that I could, then, apply to medical school, just sprucing up my application, I wanted to pause to do yoga teacher training. And I had never done one and I’d never really traveled alone, and I just did this random thing, and it’s one of those, like, I just felt it in my body to do it, there’s no explanation, there was no “Hey, mom, dad, friends, should I do this?”, it was just like “I’m going to do yoga teacher training in Rishikesh”, which is the yoga capital of the world, in India. So, I went and did that, fell in love, obviously, and when I was there, there was this one-hour class on this thing called Ayurveda, and I was just so excited about it, I was like “Wow, this science makes sense. I’m about to go into medical school, but I would really, really love to study this”, that’s what I said in my head, and I put it in my pocket for later, because it was one of those things where I’m excited about it, but maybe I should just learn it after I do the whole medical school, residency, fellowship, get a job thing, and then I can learn Ayurveda.
So, all of these changes were going on in my brain and I just thought that if I’m going to just study Ayurveda, I might as well go do the whole nine yards.
So, I’ve been thinking about doing an energy healing course, so I got certified in Reiki and I was thinking what else can I add to this, because, at this point, I made the decision to not go to medical school anymore, what else could I do? Coaching sounds like a lot of fun, I’d love to add this in, but, you know, I don’t know about any of the other life coaching schools, I’ve seen a bunch of them, they seem, kind of…love to them, but in my opinion, at the time, it felt dry, it felt masculine, it felt like not as in depth and, honestly, as feminine and spiritual as I wanted. And as soon as I said that, like “I want something more spiritually involved, I want something that has more feminine energy into it, I want something that vibes a little bit more with me”, one of my friends, who was in the cohort one of The Dharma Coaching Institute, was chatting with me, and she told me that she finished DCI and I was like “Oh, interesting, what is that about?” And then, we hopped on a call because she was like “I’m happy to share more information about it”, she looked at my Human Design chart and I was like “What is Human Design?” And when she read it to me, I’m a 5-1 generator, with 7 open centers, yep, and she read it to me and I was like “Oh wow, this makes a lot of sense, I’m definitely made for this”. And it was, again, one of these decisions that I made with my body and not my mind, I don’t even know where my brain was at this point, but I signed up for DCI and I went through the whole process and I realized just how important purpose is to everything that I wanted to bring to the world anyway.
My goal in life has always been just to help people heal themselves. I’ve always known that there’s nothing I can do for you, but just to be myself and hopefully, that will inspire you to do something better for you, because I can’t do it for you, only you can.
And learning about that, and learning about how I can share that with other people, made me feel like I could just live my purpose in any way, I don’t have to be a doctor, I don’t even need to be a clinician.
At that time, I was thinking about going into Ayurveda, being a clinician within Ayurveda, but at this point, two years later, I don’t even think that’s something that I’m interested in, but because I’ve done this work on myself and I’ve found my purpose and I have so much fun coaching, you know, it doesn’t really matter that, what I wanted to do two years ago, is not happening now, because it’s all a part of my purpose, it was how it was supposed to happen.


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[24:50] Sahara
Well, I love that this journey guided you into your ultimate truth because the same thing with me. I was ayurvedic coaching, talking about food and health, and I’m like, even this is, still, just the surface level, because, for me, I could look back on, how did I regain my period, how did I heal my digestive issues. Yes, I ate more warming, grounding foods, but it was me, aligning with my dharma, that was the missing link. I was out of touch with my feminine, so my body was just reflecting that back to me.
And Ayurveda is a spiritual science, but a lot of what we know about is, like, very focused on the health and the lifestyle, and things like that, that’s why yoga is the sister science of it, because when you are connected to something so much greater than you, when you have a reason for being, a reason for waking up, a lot of these health issues naturally resolve. And not just health issues, relationship issues, friendship issues, like, any kind of issue. And I also, just want to speak about, like, how having a purpose can be your guiding light in dark nights of the soul.
Like, I know for me, when I was going through my divorce, this part year, and especially last year, it was the thing that, there was so much that felt out of control in my life, but having my dharma, this thing that it was like, I get to choose how much I put into this, like, this is something that can never be taken away from me, this is something that, like, is mine, fully.
And I believe so many of us, we lose ourselves in relationships, we lose ourselves in circumstances of life because we’re not connected to this greater sense of self that only living your dharma can provide. And when you are living your dharma, it’s like, everything else lines up, and also falls away. Like, the things that don’t line up, will fall away because, to manifest, we also have to release, it’s a simultaneous process that it’s like, let go of the old beliefs, let go of the old ways of being, let go of the old relationships, the homes, the friendships, the whatever it is, to make space for that new.
And having this thing that’s like, you can keep tuning into, of like “What does my dharma look like? What does my expression look like?”, and it will teach you “Okay, here’s the next step and here’s the next step”. It’s like having a flashlight, you only see the next five steps ahead, that’s all you need.

[27:02] Amanda
Exactly. Even if these are all the steps ahead of you, you probably won’t even take them.

[27:07] Sahara
No, it would be overwhelming.

[27:08] Amanda

[27:08] Sahara
We think we want to know, but we couldn’t handle that. And also, it’s changing with time, it’s changing on what steps you take right now.

[27:14] Amanda

[27:14] Sahara

[27:15] Amanda

[27:15] Sahara
That like, if you were to have seen the full hundred steps from the timeline you were on when you were studying pre-med, it would’ve been a very different highway, you would’ve noticed. But then, you shifted timelines by making different decisions, and then you would’ve seen your timeline as, you know, a registered dietitian, and then an ayurvedic practitioner, and now a dharma coach, and it’s continuing.
And even…what I love about DCI and witnessing our dharma coaches is, like, everyone makes it their won, you know.
So, I’m curious for you, what does your practice look like right now?

[27:49] Amanda
You mean within coaching?

[27:51] Sahara
Within coaching, yeah.

[27:52] Amanda
Okay. So, my practice within coaching is, essentially, helping women basically do what I did years ago, which is, let go of any limiting beliefs, any stories, like, what you said, you, kind of, have to, let go of the old to make space for the new, and rewrite, or just continue to write a story that feels more aligned for them.
So, I love to work with women who are, kind of, in between things or they’re in this path, but they realize “Maybe this isn’t it for me, but I don’t know, there’s nobody else around me, probably, except for me, if they follow me on Instagram, or any other social media, who does this. And I don’t know what’s going on but I know that something has to change”, so, I work with these women and take them step-by-step through a fusion of what I learned at DCI, also, my own life, and a lot of other tools that I picked up along the way, to help them.
You know, they think, and I think as well, we’ll get to your purpose, but essentially, I just help them find themselves again, you know, that’s really all it is.

[28:54] Sahara
I love that you’re coaching people who are former versions of you, because that is who we know best. We know what were the things that were keeping us up at night, we know the things that we’re anxious about, we know, like, the thoughts we had on why all the reasons why it’s not going to work, and all our evidence around that, like, only we know our bullshit, you know. And so, when we can coach people that, it’s like “Oh, I’ve been in your shoes and I know that this belief leads to that one, leads to that one, because I’m at all of them, and here’s how I went through them. It’s like, you see them to such a greater level that, like, reading a book about them or having your PhD on the topic, it could never give you the exact knowsis that having gone through the experience only can.

[29:33] Amanda
Yes, absolutely. I find it’s the most natural, and also just the most comforting too. I, essentially, am who I wish I had three years ago, I didn’t have that, I had to gather all of my resources and all my people and, kind of, piece together my support system. And so, I’ve, basically, put all of that together and I’m offering that to anybody who really wants to work with me. And this is what I found is, a lot of new health coaches, a lot of new spiritual life coaches, just a lot of coaches, or a lot of people who want to be guides or healers in this world, but maybe they come from a background like mine, or maybe they come from a background of not really knowing that there are other choices, or feeling like they were going to be a financial advisor for their entire lives, and then they realized that all they really wanted to do was paint their nails, you know.

[30:23] Sahara
Exactly. And that’s the beauty of it too, it’s like, you learn through that experience and then you’re able to pass that torch and then life gives you new lessons, you know. And then, there’s new things that you learn, and then, eventually, you crystalize those things into your own being and you pass that torch to other people, and it makes the obstacles that we’ve gone through in life, like, not feel like they’ve happened in vain, but really, they’ve happened for this greater reason.
And, you know, a lot of us, people who are listening to this Podcast right now, they’re already helping their friends.

[30:52] Amanda

[30:53] Sahara
Like, they’re voice-noting their friend, they’re hanging out with people, but it feels really draining when you’re that friend who’s just helping people, but there’s not an equal energy exchange, you know. When it’s like, you’re not going to keep hanging out with someone that, every time you hang out with them, they just, like, spill out all their problems, and then you’re trying to help them, and then you walk away just feeling, like, heavier. But what that means is, that person obviously felt the safety to share with you because not everyone opens up. Like, I used to think “Oh, everyone must tell everyone all their life problems”, but it was just to me and to you, and to people who can hold that, you know. I don’t tell everyone my life problems, certain people, though, I just feel that with, you know. I mean, I don’t do that anymore, but you know, we’ve all been that person too. But that means you have a gift, people are feeling that safety in your auric field, now it’s “How can I make this an equal energy exchange so it feels like it has longevity for me, and I’m not feeling burned out, and I’m not feeling, like, energetically exhausted from it, but rather…”, you know, you can do it bartering, but really, it’s to create an income making it.
And I think that’s, like, one of the biggest shadows in the spiritual community, of like “Oh, if I’m helping people, I shouldn’t charge for it, because I should be doing this out of the goodness of my heart”, and it’s like, okay, back in the day when we had monks and nuns, the village took care of them.
In Thailand, I was living in Thailand, doing volunteer work, every day, we brought food to the monks, they could just meditate all day. No one is bringing me banana leaves, I’m not getting anything. I have to create income because that’s how I pay my rent, that’s how I live my life.
And for some reason, we’ve, like, had it stuck in our heads that, like “Oh, a good spiritual person shouldn’t charge”.
So, I’m curious for you, like, did you have any, like, imposter syndrome around like “Who am I to charge for coaching people when I already do this for free, and I like doing it, and I’m helping people, and people don’t have the money, and I’m not a therapist”, and all of those stories?

[32:47] Amanda
Oh my gosh, yes, every single one of those stories, for sure! Especially, I grew up going to the 0.99c store for groceries and any, like, odd ends. With my mom, we went to T.J. Maxx and Ross and I could only get things that were on clearance.

[33:01] Sahara
I love T.J. Maxx, love a Marshall’s, love a Homegoods, but yeah…

[33:06] Amanda
As an adult, appreciate it so much as a kid.

[33:09] Sahara
Yeah, pay less was about it, as a kid, now it’s…

[33:13] Amanda
Now it’s the best thing ever, when I need to furnish a new house.

[33:15] Sahara

[33:16] Amanda
So, working through my own money beliefs was such a big thing for me when I first started out being my own entrepreneur, you know, charging prices for something that, like you said, is essentially free, if I just meet up with somebody for coffee. But I think what really helped me was hiring my own coach, because that really helped me see the value in coaching in and of itself. And once I did that, it was a couple thousand dollars, which was, to me, a lot at that time. But now I look back and I think “Wow, that was absolutely priceless”.

[33:50] Sahara
It changed the trajectory of your entire life.

[33:52] Amanda
It changed my entire life, and she only asked me $2000, that’s it? So…

[33:57] Sahara
And you’re literally, like, living your dharma now.

[33:59] Amanda
Yes, yes. She really, she’s one of my closest friends now, I invited her to my wedding. It’s so beautiful how these relationships can come about, but having that first step to show me “Okay, if I invest in myself, I can get five times more and I can make more money with that energy, that feels more aligned”.
And so, having that in my pocket and in my own experience, going into pricing myself and starting my coaching business, of course, having a business coach helps, but when I think about that, you know, putting my own money into a coach, to help me, I’m also able to think about, you know, what a past version of myself would do. So, my ideal client, maybe they’re scared to pay that money, but once they work with me, they’ll know that it was so worth it. And so, what that grants them, is, okay, this is a professional relationship, great, I can’t just walk all over her, good. Another thing that grants them is “Okay, I’ve just practiced valuing myself, so, now, I know, I’m at least, this much more valuable. I have done the thing, I’ve done something that’s scary, I invested in myself and I’m going to get so much out of that”. And what, hopefully, that will teach them is, in the future, if they want to go into their own coaching program, to learn how to be a coach or a counsellor, and then maybe go into a mastermind, they’ll pay a little bit more and they’ll be more comfortable every single time.
So, not only do I feel like it is…like, I’m more comfortable, because I’m bringing people a lot of value, but also because, just by stepping into a container with me, by investing in themselves, they already gain that sense of self-worth. Without even going into a coaching session with me, they’ve paid and they give themselves that key of like “Okay, I guess I’m worth it, if just because I did this”.

[35:46] Sahara
Well, because we value things we invest in.

[35:48] Amanda

[35:48] Sahara
You know, it’s like, if I’ve never invested in something, you just give me some advice, I’ll be like “Thanks for that Amanda, like, moving on”, maybe I would’ve taken it seriously, but likely, not really, because I didn’t buy into it, you know. But if I actually invested in you as a coach, one, that means I believe you, I trust you, that you see yourself as worthy as that, as well. So, there’s just, like, a lot in that process, and I’m going to say what you say and actually implement it into my life, which is what makes such a difference.
A friend of mine, she just spent $15k on her love coach, which sounds like “Oh my god, who would pay $15,000, well, guess what, she’s with the love of her life. So, that’s a small price to pay for that, you know.

[36:23] Amanda

[36:24] Sahara
You know. Think about how much money we spend on bullshit. If we calculated how much money each of us spends on Amazon every year…

[36:31] Amanda
Oh my gosh, yeah.

[36:32] Sahara
Probably, like, more than that, you know. All the jeans, trips, this, that, it adds up, and it’s like, what could be more important than living your purpose.
And I want to speak about, I think a lot of people, they don’t go into coaching because they’re afraid of the charging, the pricing, how to hold the container, and that’s why the last two months of DCI are all about that, are all about, okay, how do you actually do a 3-month coaching practice, a 6-month coaching package, a 1-month coaching package? What can you do each session? How can you price? How can you choose your niche? What forms do you need? What agreements do you need?
I feel like my audience, I think a lot of people are feminine, because, obviously…

[37:11] Amanda

[37:11] Amanda
But what we often struggle with is that masculine, it’s that container, and without the container, the feminine can’t flourish. Like, you can’t share your intuitive hits and downloads, and your spiritual gifts, and your creativity when you’re not getting paid for it, because if you’re not getting paid for it, guess what, it’s just going to be this hobby that you do sometimes when you have the time for, and eventually, you’re going to focus on doing the thing that pays your bills, which is the job, and the bartending, and whatever else you might be doing, and then that hobby never ends up coming to fruition.
And that’s, like, the thing I see, people are like “I don’t want to do the business stuff, like, I’m so intimidated by business”, and it’s like, so was I, but by going into it and learning about it, I’ve been able to create that structure and that container, that now, I can be wild, and creative, and travel, and doing those things, because I know I have systems in place, I have structure in place, I have a set income coming in that, like, I’m not just like floating around, but rather, I am my own masculine and my own feminine, and that’s really the integration that I feel when you really step into living your dharma, you are it all, you are not just one side.

[38:19] Amanda
Yes, exactly. And those last two months of DCI were so helpful for me because I was definitely like “I don’t know anything about business and I don’t even know if I want to know about business, I just want to sit here, and look cute, and talk to people, and help them change their lives”.

[38:34] Sahara
Right, and then who can walk in through the door if you don’t know how to do a discovery call, you don’t know how to talk to them about your program, and not feel, like, weird talking about money, you don’t know what forms and agreements, like, you, just, will never be able to share the juicy wisdom that you have, of you don’t learn. People need the safety, you know. Like, there’s so much online that people can’t trust, that people are like “I made an Instagram post about my services, that no one bought, so I guess coaching isn’t for me”, it’s like, people don’t trust. Like, you really have to show up and build authority by, like, having your niche and really speaking to them, these are all things that we talk a lot about at DCI, because I, like you, started my business when I was 19 through blogging and through social media. And so, I’ve been doing this for 13 years now, and it takes a lot of time, and now, learning what I’ve learned now, I’m like “Oh, I could help anyone make a 7-figure business online because I now know exactly what are the things to do”, but it does require showing up, and taking action, and making those decisions, and not, like, waiting for someone else to do it, because that same conditioning that our parents have, a lot of us still have, of like, waiting to be chosen, you know, waiting to be recognized, and someone else is going to, like, choose us for the tv show, and be our manager, and do our business for us, and we’re just going to, like, sit back and shine our light, and it’s like, it’s just not the way that it works.
Like, even me, being here on this Podcast, like, I had to do this Podcast for a very long time, learn how to get sponsors and build it up to this place that there’s a whole podcast studio, but no one gave me this, I earned it, I created it.
And that’s what I love about DCI, It’s like, I bring my, like, Capricorn energy to, and Ajit and Neeta, my co-founders, as well, of like, we want you to succeed, like, I love that you’re on this Podcast, it’s like, we want our people to succeed and I feel like the only way to succeed is to take off the lid and be like “This is actually what it takes to build a thriving coaching practice, are you in?
And I feel when a lot of the people can see the road map, then they take action, it’s like the confusion makes us get overwhelmed and not take any action at all.

[40:37] Amanda
Yeah, yeah, totally. Just seeing things really clearly, knowing what we’re getting into and, also, just having that reassurance along the way of like, you don’t have to know all this yet, just focus on this one thing and try it out, do one thing that’s a little scary, just to prove to yourself that you can do it, and take the next step. And you’ll be able to learn all of these things later on, which you will, and we’ll guide you through that, but just stay here really quick with us right now and try it out. Like, that was really, really helpful for me, personally, just to traverse all that confusion, all the overwhelm, all the fear. My dad is a businessman and I watched him, and I just didn’t want to do that at all, growing up. He’s a pharmaceutical rep and I’m like “Ahh, I don’t want to tell people to buy things, like, if they don’t really want it”.

[41:19] Sahara
Right. We have, we’re like “I don’t want to come off as salesy”, because we’ve seen the shadow side of sales, that, we equate it with, like, a used car salesman of like, pushing something that someone does not want, and it’s like, no, sales is actually the process of someone walking in through the door of working with you. And if you believe in what you’re doing, then you’re actually doing the service to them. But we’ve had people sell us things that we don’t need, the used lemon car, so, it’s like, we equate all sales with that, but it’s like, you bought me these beautiful flowers, you bought them, there was a service involved, the farmer got paid for it, the person who put these flowers here. And now I get to have them, and this was all through the energy of sales, you know. So, it’s like, so I love…we have a whole energetic of sales, energetic of making offers, all of these things in DCI.
And to me, these are the biggest things that have allowed me to actually live a spiritual life, that I’m doing spirituality full-time, like, my job is to be spiritual, which is so freaking cool.

[42:15] Amanda
It is.

[42:16] Sahara
From learning business, starting with 1:1 coaching, like, I believe everyone, if you want to write a book, if you want to do a podcast, if you want to go speak on stages, if you want to do anything related to sharing wisdom with the world, you need to start with 1:1 coaching.

[42:29] Amanda
Oh yeah, oh yeah. Do you know who Tony Jones is?

[42:32] Sahara

[42:32] Amanda
She makes affirmation music, like, you’d really love her.

[42:35] Sahara
Oh yeah, I love her music.

[42:37] Amanda
Yeah. So, I found her music a couple years ago and I was like “Wow, this is awesome, she knows really a lot of really great things”. I learned, just last month, that she was a life coach, for years, before she started making affirmations, and it makes sense.

[42:49] Sahara
Makes sense, because, how else would she know that?

[42:51] Amanda
Yeah, for sure.

[42:52] Sahara
Because it’s in 1:1 coaching that you’re actually having dialogues with people and you’re learning what’s happening on the ground. Like, how would I go and speak on a stage to a thousand people if I can’t talk to one person, if I can’t hold space with one, how can I hold space for many? I would not be where I was if I didn’t start 1:1 coaching. And I still, sometimes, like, in my mastermind, continue doing 1:1, because it keeps me, like, on the ground, of like, what are people currently stressed about, thinking about, what is the landscape like.
So, I believe, if you’re anyone that wants to do anything visionary, thought leadership, speaking on stages, getting your message to the masses, start with 1:1 coaching, learn how to create transformation in one person’s life and then, from there, you’ll notice what are the things that keep repeating, what are the stories I keep telling, what ate the realizations people keep having, then those things, you then crystalize and then you can share with groups, you share them with online courses, you can share them in memberships, you can share them on stages, in books, and it keeps getting bigger and bigger.
So, that’s what I love about DCI, we’re like, become a really significant coach and the rest will happen in divine time.

[43:58] Amanda
Absolutely, yeah. And I started with 1:1 and now I’m more so in a 1:1 and a group hybrid coaching, just because I still love that 1:1 touch, but I want to be able to help more people and I’ve gotten enough information with my 1:1 coaching where I know “Okay, maybe we need to talk about imposter syndrome a little bit more, so I’ll make a little more training on that”, or “Maybe we need to talk a little bit more about future visioning, so, let’s make a training on that too”.
But another thing that 1:1 coaching has helped me, that I didn’t realize until we actually had this conversation, is, really see what things I need to work on. You know, when I am on 1:1 with somebody, not only do I get to learn about them, being on the ground with them, but I get to learn about myself, how am I in conversation, how did I like the way that I spoke this way, how did I like the way I came into this call with this energy, what can I change. It really taught me so much about myself too.
So, you know, while I was, you know, working with my own one 1:1 clients, and they learn a lot from me, I equally feel like they all taught me so much about myself, so much about my work, my business and who I want to help and how.

[45:13] Sahara
My book “Discover Your Dharma”, I write about so many of my clients in there, you know, those are the stories I tell, those are the realizations that I learned, that led to my methodology. So, I love 1:1 coaching because it helps you just see one concept through so many different people’s eyes that you’re like “Wow, this is how one person sees their dharma, and another person, and another person”, like, we just think everyone sees the world like ourselves. And when you’re coaching people, you’re like “Oh my god, I would’ve never had that”, like, you hear some people’s fears on things and you’re like “I would’ve never had that, like…”, and it’s, like, so obvious to you. But then we have fears on things that other people are like “Oh”, they just, like, ask you one question, the fear’s gone, you know. So, it’s, like, so interesting because you get to go into people’s subconsciouses and are like “Wow”.
We all see the world so differently, and so the same, and it’s like, fun to see the parallel between the two. I love coaching so much!

[45:56] Amanda
I love coaching, it’s crazy but I love it and so grateful for the opportunity to learn about coaching through the lens of DCI.

[46:02] Sahara
Yes. I mean, thank you for being such an amazing…you’re like a star student of ours, we love having you. Yeah, absolutely! And the fact that you’re able to take this, I love that you’re, you know, bringing your message out there to more people and showing people that it’s possible, you know. You did DCI in what year?

[46:20] Amanda
I started in 2021, and then, so, I graduated over a year ago already, I can’t believe the time has gone by so fast. I don’t know when it was but I missed my 1-year coaching anniversary, officially coaching.

[46:34] Sahara
I love that, this is just such a testament to the people. You have been coaching for just over a year and you’re already doing group coaching.

[46:41] Amanda

[46:42] Sahara
Which shows that it’s so possible, and people think that it’s going to take them years, and it’s like, you’re already doing groups. I’m pretty sure, soon…yeah, I think you already have a course, right?

[46:49] Amanda

[46:50] Sahara
You already have a course?

[46:51] Amanda
It’s a course within the group, but just mixed it all together.

[46:53] Sahara
Exactly. I already know you’re going to start to write a book one day.

[46:56] Amanda

[46:57] Sahara
I already know you’re going to start a podcast, I already know you’re going to speak on stages, like, it’s all, like, you have that coming for you and I’m just excited to support.
So, thank you so much for being here, thank you for showing people what’s possible from Dharma Coaching Institute, and we’re so grateful to have you.

[47:10] Amanda
Thank you so much for having me, Sahara!

[47:12] Sahara
So, if you want to get started on your dharma journey in becoming a Soul Purpose and Spiritual Life Coach, then doors are open right now for Dharma Coaching Institute. So, this is our 6-month training where you will learn everything from the coaching fundamentals, so, what it actually takes to build a coaching practice, how to have boundaries, how to talk to clients, how to hold space, and then 2 months of the Dharma Framework, so, the Dharma Blueprint, how to apply this wisdom into people’s lives, the Dharma Chakra System, all these different tools to really help people understand their purpose. And then the last 2 months are all about business, how to price, how to set up coaching containers, what agreements you need, finding your niche, podcasting, social media. We really bring our gifts together, myself, in coaching, and social media, and marketing, my business partner in business, he’s an incredible business owner who’s literally created, like, hundreds of businesses around the world, and then Neeta, who’s an expert in emotional psychology, and we bring all of our gifts together into this curriculum.
So, we have had over 2000 students go through it now, and it has been incredible to witness the transformation.
So, if you’re curious, you want to learn more, head over to the show notes or dharmacoachinginstitute.com and you will find more information. There’s some freebies and again, doors are open right now, class starts very soon, and you can find all of that information on the website.

[48:38] Sahara
Thank you so much for tuning in, and I’ll see you in the next one.

Episode#518: Letting Go Of Expectations To Create Your Best Life with Amanda Sevilla
By Sahara Rose

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