Highest Self Podcast 494: Are You A Woman Having a Harder Time Stepping Into Her Purpose?


Are you a woman who’s having a hard time living your soul’s purpose? Perhaps you already know your purpose, but you aren’t quite sure how to fully live and embody it. If either of those is true, this week’s Highest Self Podcast episode is for you.

The truth is, there is a myth of sacrifice that women are commonly forced to operate from. It’s an unspoken and subconscious burden that we carry, as women, within society…

As long as we hold onto this baggage (that we’re often not even aware of)… We’ll keep pointing the finger, feeling resentment, and living in ways that don’t honor our soul’s deepest desires because we’re simply not given the opportunity to pursue our desires…

We deserve to be free of these chains and pursue our purpose. And in this episode of Highest Self Podcast this is exactly what we will be exploring together.

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Intro + Outro Music: Silent Ganges by Maneesh de Moor

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Episode #494: Are You A Woman Having a Harder Time Stepping Into Her Purpose? Here’s Why. with Sahara Rose
By Sahara Rose

[00:00] Sahara

It’s time for us to really step into the worth that we have and that we’re contributing into our families in our societies. And it starts with us, because when we begin to notice that value, that the fact that we listen to people for hours on end and really allow them to dive deeper into their truth, or we’re able to help people feel safe and seen, or that we’re able to take something in shambles and turn it into art, that is so valuable. And when we begin to value ourselves, society follows. 


[00:48] Sahara

Namaste, it’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you, your soul’s highest evolvement. 

[00:55] Sahara

If it’s your first time listening, welcome! I’m so grateful to be reconnected with you in this lifetime. If you’re here all the time, I wanted to drop in, into another spiritual download that I have really been receiving for the last couple of weeks.

[01:08] Sahara

I recently did an Instagram reel about it, which so many people resonated with, so, I wanted to bring this conversation onto the Podcast where we can, kind of, dive into it a little bit deeper. And that is this myth of sacrifice, this idea, this unspoken idea that so many of us, but especially women, people who are in the more feminine role in their families, are really, subconsciously, forced to operate from. And this is that idea that if you put everyone’s needs before your own, you are a good girl, you will be safe, you will be loved, you will be appreciated.

[01:47] Sahara

You know, it starts when we are very young, and I’m going to be mostly speaking into the feminine, woman’s experience, but feel free to use whatever terminology works for you. 

[01:57] Sahara

As young girls, we have been conditioned to care about what other people feel. We became so attuned to our caregiver’s needs, to our friend’s needs, and again, we were given that pat on the head when we took care of our young siblings, or we helped clean the house, or you know, we did these things that were seen as adult-like. 

[02:20] Sahara

So many of us, as young girls, kind of became little moms, you know. And we looked at our moms who were told they were a good mother when they put everyone’s needs before their own, but also, carrying this resentment around it. 

I know my mother, and many mothers, had other dreams, you know. They had other aspirations that they wanted to do but there was this expectation that to be a good woman, to be a good mother, to be a good wife, you must put everyone’s needs before your own. And then, that eventually just creates a life of resentment. 

[02:52] Sahara

So, we were conditioned and brought into this, “How can I make everyone around me feel good and, therefore, I will be loved?”, let me know if this is resonating so far. 

So, this conditioning makes us feel guilty about putting our needs, let alone desires, first.

[03:11] Sahara

Think about Thanksgiving dinner, any other big holiday, we often see it’s the mother who’s spending days before, buying groceries, and taking care of the house, and cleaning things, and then that whole day cooking and making sure that the plates look beautiful and everything is nice and the people feel welcome, they have their drinks, and this, and that. And then when it’s actually time to sit down and enjoy the meal, she can’t even pause, she needs to be back in the kitchen, she needs to be making sure everyone on the table has what they need. That even if it’s time to take a picture “I don’t have any time to get ready, I don’t look good”. 

So, again, it’s that putting other people’s needs. And then, what happens after Thanksgiving dinner, you’re resentful.

[03:50] Sahara

So, we see this again and again in our mothers, our grandmothers, this has been going on for the past several thousand years, and you know, it hasn’t always been this case, and I’ll speak a little bit more into how this understanding of the feminine role actually came post-patriarchy, so it’s not extremely ancient, it’s actually in the past two thousand or so years, post this patriarchal understanding that came with the rise of Abrahamic religions. But right now, our more recent ancestors have been operated from this unspoken expectation that women must care of the house and kids, that is still in our society today, even as women are working. 

[04:30] Sahara

So, how many times, in your own household, when there are dishes that need to be unloaded, or laundry that needs to be done, or groceries that need to be brought in, or any of these little things, taking care of your pets, making sure your kids have lunch, it naturally tends to fall upon the woman’s plate, even if the man is not a patriarchal person, but it’s just this subconscious conditioning that “Well, that’s a woman’s role”.

[04:57] Sahara

So, women are carrying a lot of unspoken and unacknowledged burden in households that men simply aren’t even aware of. If someone needs something, it tends to go towards the woman. 

[05:11] Sahara

And again, at this time, women also are working corporate jobs, they are out in the world creating businesses, they are, essentially, working just as many hours, if not more, than men, but on top of that they have this unacknowledged burden, this workload at home, that they are just expected to carry. However, this has not always been the case.

[05:36] Sahara

We have been fed lies, in our school system, when we read these history textbooks that say, well, women have always just, like, stayed home or been in the village, just collecting fruits and berries, and the men were out there fighting the wars, and hunting, and taking care of the household. But actually, if you look at the nutrition, the calories, that were coming into the hunter/gatherer’s families in the villages, you would see that the women who were gathering nuts and berries actually accounted for 90% of the family’s calories. So, 90% of the calories, of the actual sustenance that kept people alive, came from the woman, only 10% actually came from the men who were going out there and hunting.

Yes, we acknowledge that the men, naturally, wanted to provide, but what actually was making the difference in the family, for the most part, 90% of the calories, came from women.

[06:39] Sahara

So, again, this unacknowledged burden that men often get the credit for, providing for the family, when it’s actually, often, the women.


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[10:07] End of Advertisement


[10:08] Sahara

So, I speak into this, not to create a divide, I deeply honor the masculine and the men, however if we don’t look at the ways that women have been held onto these baggages and burdens that we’re not even aware of in our society, then we’re going to point the finger and say “Well, why are the women out there making their dreams happen?”, and it’s because of this. Because women, they’re not even given the opportunity to be able to follow their dreams.

[10:36] Sahara

If you look at some of the best artists in the world, the one’s that we know their names, are the men. If you look at any field, the ones that we know the names of, poets, musicians, any type of field, we know the men, because, often, the women were never given the chance to fully focus on their arts, to make it happen. And then, on top of that, the women who did, had to face all of just the conditioning and the looking down on from society that, even when there were female artists like Frida Kahlo, she was seen as crazy, as someone who was not a good mother and not a good woman. So, we’re up against more to try to make our dharmas, our soul’s purposes, come to fruition because of these societal expectations. 

And then, on top of that, as a society, we just don’t value feminine arts as much. So, feminine arts being things such as holding space and really listening to someone, and hearing their problems, and making them feel safe, and connected, and opening your heart to them and helping guide then back towards their true selves, or hosting beautiful dinner parties or outings and making a beautiful home, or taking care of children and educating them and making sure that they have all of their needs met. Anything in the realm of beauty, making the world a more beautiful place, making our bodies, our homes, a more beautiful place. We don’t value those things as much, as a society, we value things that tend to ear more on the masculine – mathematics, science, technology, because we can quantify them, but we can’t quantify emotion, we can’t quantify beauty, we can’t quantify joy and truth. So, because of this, the feminine is seen as inferior, while masculine qualities and women who ear to more masculine qualities are seen as successful.

[12:40] Sahara

So, we need to talk about this, otherwise it’s not going to change. It’s time for us, especially, first as women, to recognize the value that we carry. The fact that we really are the backbones of our families and our society, and without the feminine we would not have beauty on earth, we would not have connection, we would not have joy, we would not have artistry, we would not have all of these incredible things that make life worth living.

[13:12] Sahara

And yes, it comes to us more naturally due to, just, the feminine nature that we tend to carry, but also, that doesn’t mean that we have to do it because it’s expected from us. It’s time for us to really step into the worth that we have and that we’re contributing into our families and our societies. And it starts with us, because when we begin to notice that value, that the fact that we listen to people for hours on end and really allow them to dive deeper into their truth, or we’re able to help people feel safe and seen, or that we’re able to something from shambles and turn it into art, that is so valuable. And when we begin to value ourselves, society follows.

[14:03] Sahara

So, for me, the first step, I was someone that was always helping people with their problems, so the first step for me, was to realize “Wow, this isn’t something I just, like, have to do for anyone with problems. Like, yes, I am a magnet for people, any party I go to, people pour their life story on me, but that means I have a gift, I have a gift that people feel safe enough to open up their hearts to me. So, how can I, now, see value in this and create boundaries around it, and actually see my own worth in doing so, so I can do it on a larger scale, so I can do it and not feel resentful after, but actually feel like I was acknowledged, that me, holding space, was valued, not just expected.” Because women, we are not people’s trash cans to spill their emotions on, that we’re just going to take it, and take it, and take it, and then when they’re done, we’re just going to go empty ourselves out on a corner. No, no, no, no, that’s not how it’s going to fly any more. Our space, our attention, our devotion is sacred, and it’s time for us and the society to realize this.

[15:07] Sahara

So, for me, becoming a coach was that first step, because it allowed me to see “Okay, I can actually transform people’s lives on a deeper level if I set some boundaries around this. If I don’t just let them talk, and talk, and talk, wherever I am, and I have to stop everything that I’m doing to just keep listening to them until they’re done. But instead, I say “I would love to work with you and support you through this, let’s set a time in the calendar, here’s how I work, here’s the journey that we’re going to go on together”. And that actually is what creates change in the other person’s life, you know. It’s like, how many times have we had a friend that keeps telling us about their same problems again, and again, and again, and we keep listening, we keep helping them, we give them amazing advice and then they just get back together with that ex. 

But instead, if we create boundaries and we create a container and we hold more of that masculine within ourselves, that allows the feminine to flow, that allows the feminine to be revered, because we’re not just giving and giving until we remain dry, but rather, we’re saying “Here’s how I can truly give to you, in a way that both of us feel more fueled up at the end”. 

[16:10] Sahara

And when I started coaching, I no longer felt like “Ugh, everyone keeps telling me their problems”, but rather “I feel so inspired to help people move through their challenges and I also know that I’m able to help people the most when I guide them back to their own truth. And me guiding them back to their own truth, requires me coaching them, asking powerful questions, diving deeper into the unspoken”. Because the truth is, most people have the same problems again and again in their lives, with just different characters that are being played out, because there is an underlying belief that needs to be excavated and really looked at. And you can only do that when you dive deeper than just conversational and you move into more of a coaching space where you’re going into the subconscious, you’re going into the nervous system, you’re going into the body and you’re taking people into what are their dreams and their aspirations, and what’s going to be invigorating and energizing enough to move through these challenges. 

So, that is really what coaching is about, it’s about really meeting people where they’re at and then going under the lid of the car and seeing “Okay, what has been disheveled, what has not been looked at long enough and how can we actually, now, rewire this so you can be free to drive? Not that you need someone else and are reliant on other people for the solution, but rather, for you to tune into your own intuition”. 

[17:34] Sahara

And intuition truly is the power of the feminine. Naturally, we are more connected to our intuitions, which are both within our bodies, our wombs, our souls, but also in our spirits and our highest selves. 

[17:48] Sahara

So, the way that I see Spirit is the part of us that connects us to Source, when we receive downloads, when we channel, when we have visions. And then our soul is really that part of us that is grounded, anchored, centered. 

And as feminine beings, we carry both polarities within ourselves, you know, the earth and the sky, the star and the crystals, it’s both within us. So, when we realize our ability to see the higher vision and then bring it down into “Okay, what needs to happen right now on this physical realm?”, it’s truly being a doula for someone’s dharma. We are taking the unseen, like, the spirit of someone’s dharma, of someone’s soul purpose, and we are now integrating it into manifest reality. 

[18:39] Sahara

Now, we are not here to do the birthing for them, but rather, we are here as guides, and that has always been the role of the feminine, whether we were birth doulas, death doulas, all forms of life doula, we have been here to bring the unseen into the seen realm, and that is our gift, and that is inherently sacred.


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[20:06] Sahara

So, if you’re interested in learning more about becoming a Certified Spiritual Life and Soul Purpose Coach, to become the doula of people’s dharmas, of their soul’s purposes, of learning about your own intuition, whether you are a more claircognizant, clairvoyant, clairsentient, clairaudient coach, connecting with other people’s intuitions, so you can help support them to make powerful decisions for themselves, and then also for you to be acknowledged and to receive back the energy that you are so generously giving out, for you to know, actually, how to create a coaching container, what does each session look like, how to choose your niche, how do you talk about what you do in a way that you won’t feel this imposter syndrome of like “I guess I’m a coach, I could help people but I guess I could help you with any of your problems”, but rather “I am a certified soul purpose coach that helps corporate mothers reclaim their feminine power after childbirth”, or “I am a spiritual life coach that helps empty nesters find their purpose again”, you know, so we help you really find clarity of your niche so you can feel confident and clear about who you are and who you’re here to work with. 

[21:16] Sahara

Everything about pricing and how to price – again, as women, we give and give so much that we feel bad to charge for our time, and our energy, and our worth, and this is such a problem in our society that even women, I’ve noticed, expect other women to do things for free. And the same things that you would never ask a man to do for free, it’s, like, implied that a woman should do it just because if not then your heart is closed and you are just such a bitch. So, it’s time for us to actually to get paid for our energy, and our time, and our worth, and what we pour in. And when more women have access to financial resources, we can create businesses that change the world, we can support causes that help refugees and our oceans, and our climate change, and our children, like, we, naturally, are so connected to all of the obstacles that we are moving through as a planet. So, when women have access to resources, we can give.

[22:17] Sahara

I’m so grateful that I stepped into my abundance because now I sponsor six children in Cambodia, children in Ecuador, Afghanistan, so many places, and I’m able to. And we’re able to support businesses that are doing good for the planet, businesses that have organic and ethical clothing, rather than all these fast fashion companies that are destroying our planet.

So, we need to stop expecting women to do things for free, just because they are open-hearted, but rather, realizing that paying a woman her full worth creates a more fruitful economy for everyone, where the money is passed around to people’s hands that, in this patriarchal society, are not. 

[23:03] Sahara

And when we step into our abundance as women, we also set the example for our children, for all young girls around the world who are, again, expected to give, and give, and give for free, and take on all that unspoken burden of the family and still be quiet about it. We’re not living by those rules anymore.

[23:22] Sahara

You know, women in the United States have only been able to vote for the past 100 years. It was in August of 1920, so, literally 102 years ago, that finally, the 19th Amendment was passed that women were given full voting rights. In the United States, which is supposed to be the freest country on earth, we as women, have only been qualified to vote for 100 years! So, it’s important to realize this because so often people say “Well, now women are given equal rights so, like, now you just need to rise up to the occasion”, when it’s only been 100 years that we’ve been seen equivalent to a man. And it’s only in the past 40 years, in 1974, that the Senate passed the Equal Credit Opportunity Act, which made it illegal to discriminate against women getting credit cards. So, it has only been 40 years that women have been able to get credit cards in the United States. Before that, the credit card company could say “No, you are not financially responsible to have money in your hands, so you cannot have a credit card just because you’re a woman”. 

And in fact, in 1971, women were able to be fired for being pregnant, they were not allowed to serve on a jury, they were not allowed to get an Ivy League education, they were not able to take legal action against workplace sexual harassment, were not allowed to decide to not have sex with her husband, and were not able to obtain health insurance at the same monetary rate as a man. So, again, this was all in the United States in 1971. 

[24:59] Sahara

And again, it’s important for us to realize just how new woman’s freedom really is, and also, the fact that in many places around the world, we still don’t even have that access. Because then, instead of being angry at ourselves of “Why aren’t I following my dreams and making all this shit happen the way that men are”, well, here’s why, our freedom has barely really been given to us, and we still aren’t totally free because of all the unspoken burdens.

[25:30] Sahara

So, when we realize this, it takes that pressure off of ourselves of like “Why aren’t I where the men are?”, and instead it allows us to have that compassion for ourselves of “Here’s why”, and we are going to change this. Our generation is moving strides towards higher possibilities and feminist, not in a way that negates the feminine, but in a way that honors the feminine. That we can have equal access to rights, to credit cards, to health insurance, take legal action against sexual harassment, fuck yes! And if we choose, we can stay home with the kids, we can bring beauty to this earth, we can hold space for people, and all of those things are valuable as well. We don’t need to become men to be seen as valuable. Our femininity is part of our super power.

[26:26] Sahara

So, again, this is really our time to rise into our worth, to step into our financial abundance and to realize how inherently worthy we are.

[26:38] Sahara

So, again, if you’re interested in becoming a Certified Spiritual Life Coach, doors are open right now for Dharma Coaching Institute, which is my school that certifies Spiritual Life and Soul Purpose Coaches. We are recognized by the ICF (The International Coaching Federation) which is the gold standard for coaching institutes out there. And we provide you everything from how to actually step into your own soul’s purpose, how to coach others to step into theirs and then how to create a thriving business from it. 

So, if you are interested, you want more information or to hop on a call from someone from our team, head over to dharmacoachinginstitute.com, you can find that link in the show notes. Our Fall class starts October 10, so, if you’re listening to this right now, there’s time for you to join us and spend the next 6 months diving deep into your own soul’s purpose and creating a beautiful career where you can share your gifts with others. And if you’re listening to this later, you can head over to the website to join our wait-list. 

[27:42] Sahara

So, thank you so much for tuning in, for being open-hearted and for standing in your worth. You are so, inherently, valuable! And with that, I’ll see you in the next one! 


Episode #494: Are You A Woman Having a Harder Time Stepping Into Her Purpose? Here’s Why. with Sahara Rose
By Sahara Rose

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