Are you someone who desires to start a business or is already running one? Chances are you spend most of our days overwhelmed by putting out fires, planning new projects, and finishing your to-do lists.
So, how do you manage your energy so that you have enough time for the things that matter? One of the core ways to do so is by aligning your workflow cyclically. Cyclical living honors the 4 phases of your menstrual cycle and brings opportunity for energetic renewal.
In this episode my dear friend Kate Northrup and I dive deep into her area of expertise- how to manage your energy and therefore your time through cyclical living.
Join us as we share our deep wounds, the how-to’s of running a business + what we would do differently, reframing your approach to your tasks, how to align your business with your menstrual + the moon cycle, and soul much more wisdom!
This episode will remind you to slow down, pause, and be deliberate with how you spend your energy.
Connect with Kate Northup here: https://instagram.com/katenorthrup?igshid=YzA2ZDJiZGQ=
Watch my new docuseries You Are Allowed To Be Multidimensional here: https://dharmacoachinginstitute.com/dci/dharma/video/series
Ready to integrate your full multidimensional self into a thriving career as a Soul Purpose + Spiritual Life Coach? Join the Fall class of Dharma Coaching Institute! Learn more: https://dharmacoachinginstitute.com/
Intro + Outro Music: Silent Ganges by Maneesh de Moor
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Episode #455: How To Align Your Biz + Life With Your Menstrual + the Moon Cycle
By Sahara Rose
Namaste, it’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes You, Your Soul’s Highest Evolvement.
If it’s your first time listening, welcome! I’m so grateful for you to be here and us to be reconnected in this lifetime. This Podcast is really about taking spirituality and soul wisdom and making it modern, embodied, grounded, relatable, because the truth is, we are not here to leave our bodies and to ascend into a different starseed galaxy, but rather, to take that wisdom and apply it into our bodies, into this Earth, into this community that we are all collectively a part of, and that comes from connecting with our truth within.
So, there are so many different tools for embodiment, that I am so passionate about, from dance to nervous system healing, to living in alignment with your natural cycle. And this Episode is really going to be on the latter.
So, Kate Northrup is a personal friend of mine who I’ve known for several years. She actually lives here in Miami, where we’ve got into mastermind and connect, and really got to know each other. And what I really love about her wisdom is, she is such a reminder to slow down and pause and really be deliberate with the way that you expand your energy.
A lot of us, that desire to start a business or are leading businesses, we’re in a constant state of doing, of hustle, of putting out fires and feeling overwhelmed by all the things that need to be done. And in this Episode, she really speaks about what she calls ‘Regenerative Business’. So, to not constantly be doing and acting like you are in the harvest season, but how to actively plant those seeds, water them, so when your summertime comes, you feel fully nourished.
So, in this Episode we talk about a lot of things, we actually dive into both of our deep core wounds, which you’ll hear about at the beginning of the conversation; then we go into the actual starting a business and hiring, and what she would have done differently or the same if she were to have to start her business today, in terms of team and getting support, and just all of the shenanigans that, sometimes, come, and the entrepreneurial journey. And then we go into living in alignment with your cycle, which you may be familiar with, which is actually living in alignment, both nutritionally, exercise-ingly, but what we talk about is, in your business, in your work field, in your dharma, and how to align that with your menstrual cycle.
So, she shares what she recommends doing in your spring, your follicular; your ovulation, your summer; your fall, your luteal; and your menstrual, your winter cycle. And we talk about what to do if you have a big meeting but you’re menstruating and how to actually make this wisdom apply into your own life.
So, there are so many gems in this conversation, it’s something that I’m constantly, actively, trying to embed more into my own reality. Of course, nothing is perfect and I can’t, you know, cancel all my meetings when I’m menstruating, however, I can shift my energy in how I show up for those meetings, and that’s really what we talk about. It’s not about perfection and rigidity, which I see, sometimes, we can develop when we learn about cyclical living, but it’s about tuning into the energetics of it and the things that we do need to do sometimes that, you know, just need to be done, how can we bring more of that being in our doing?
So, without further ado, let’s welcome Kate Northrup, to The Highest Self Podcast.
And before we get into this week’s Episode, I am so excited to share with you that doors are open right now for Dharma Coaching Institute, which is the world’s first and only organization that trains Certified Soul Purpose and Spiritual Life Coaches.
I founded this Institute with my co-founders Dr. Neeta and Ajit to really create a diverse and grounded approach to spirituality that empowers you to take this wisdom out and support the lives of others.
You know, we’re living in the time if The Great Resignation, where the highest numbers of people are choosing to resign from their jobs, but the thing is, most people don’t know what’s next for them, what is my Dharma, what is my soul’s purpose, what are my gifts, what am I naturally good at, what are my zones of genius? A lot of the topics that we’re going to talk about in today’s Episode, so, if you actually want to be a Coach to help guide people to their truth, to their North Star, while also tuning into your own. So, maybe you’re not sure if you want to coach yet, but you know you’re deeply interested in these topics and to connecting with your own truth, and you want to dive deeper into your soul purpose, this is the ultimate journey! It is 6 months, every single week we’re on Live Q&A calls, we’re doing practice pods, there are such juicy modules from connecting to your intuition and your client’s intuition, energetic hygiene, the energetics of sales, you learn the Dharma Discovery Method, which is a full-proof method to help anyone tune into their sacred calling. And I am so excited to go on this journey with you!
This is our fourth batch, we’ve graduated over 1000 students now, and so many people have been able to quit their full-time jobs and create careers for themselves as full-time Soul Purpose Coaches. And I am so excited to see what awaits you on the other side.
So, if you’re curious, you want to learn more, you want to check out our curriculum or hop on a call with someone from our enrolment team, head over to dharmacoachinginstitute.com and you can find that link in the show notes.
So, without further ado, let’s get into this week’s Episode!
Welcome Kate, to The Highest Self Podcast, it’s so great to finally have you here!
I’m so happy to finally be here! This is such a treat!
And the first question that I would love to ask you is, what makes you your highest self?
A lot of sleep! I am very easily my highest self when I sleep 8.5 – 9 hours a night.
I agree! It’s the requirement!
I mean, hats off to you moms and how you guys do it for so many years with such little sleep. How did you navigate it when you had your two little ones?
I just, sort of, suffered. I wish I had, like, a great tip. I have a really supportive partner who, we would come up with some kind of constellation of scheduling, where I would do the last feed at 4:00AM and then I would sleep until like 9:00AM and he would take the baby for a walk, so, it was a whole thing, but babies and sleep, we can talk about that when you have one. I could write a dissertation!
Well, this really shows you asked for support. And you and I share something in common, I heard you say it on someone’s podcast, but one of your core wounds, which is one of my core wounds, is not feeling supported.
And I know a lot of people listening to this Podcast, feel the same, of “I’m the one who’s holding it all together, and if I’m not constantly doing and checking, and managing, and double-checking again, and reminding, everything will fall apart because I am responsible”.
So, you’ve created books and your business around this, and I think wounds like this, you know, they formulate from the time we were children, to make us feel safe in the world, and it’s nothing that we ever totally overcome, either, I think we just learn how to cope with it.
So, I would love to hear your journey around not feeling supported and how you have been able to create a business and book, and all of these things, around creating support for yourself?
I mean, there’s so many places we can go with that, this is a really juicy question. So, first of all what I want to say is, the way I found this out was through working with a really good internal family systems therapist, I’m sure you’ve talked about parts work here with someone, on the podcast, and it became clear. It was 2016 and my husband and I, we had a 1-year-old baby, my first, she’s just, she’s tricky, she’s intense, she comes with a lot of lessons. And so, it had been a very difficult year and we kept having this same recurring argument, and one day it ended up being about these stuffed peppers. The arguments we continually have tend to never be about the actual content, so it wasn’t about the stuffed peppers, but it became very clear that I was in a pattern of micromanaging and simultaneously being terrified that I was never going to get my needs met, and simultaneously thinking that I had to hold everything at the same time, but instead of actually doing the things I needed to do, I was too busy checking up to make sure everyone else was doing what they were supposed to do, and it was exhausting and I was cranky! And so, we went to this amazing couple’s therapist, his name is David, his last name will come to me, he’s wonderful, he wrote a book called “Be Less Dickish” (it’s for men). So, he helped me realize that this was my core wound and it was dancing with my husband’s core wound, which is about not feeling like he’s enough.
And inevitably, in relationship, we do tend to fall in love with people whose core wound kind of matches ours perfectly, so that we can consistently agitate each other’s core wound and activate each other’s healing, if we’re going to choose to do that.
And so, luckily, I am in a marriage where we have chosen to activate each other’s healing, but these core wounds, it’s like, the less I feel supported, the more my husband doesn’t feel like he’s enough. And the less my husband feels like he is enough, the less I feel supported, so, we’ve been in this dance.
So, all of that to say, it’s been such an opportunity for, like “Wow, this can come up in everything, from parenting to the stuffed peppers, to running our business together, to going on a date night, the opportunities for healing are bound.
And so, it’s been so, I think for so many of us, if we were really honest, our careers become an opportunity for us to heal our core wound. Even doctors, actually, have a very high statistical rate of being adult children of alcoholics. So, it’s very common that people will go into certain careers because there’s certain childhood wounds that they are consciously, or unconsciously, trying to heal. And so, with doctor’s, it’s the rescuer archetype, right? It’s like “A core person was not well, so I’m going to make everyone well”.
So, it might be something, you know, if you’re listening, just like, think about that, “What core wound might I be consciously, or in many cases, unconsciously, expressing through my business?” But it’s been so cool because here’s what I have found, and I’m, like, in a very different place, even when I said this thing on Mel’s podcast, which is that, I am realizing, and I find this is true, and I’m sure you find this is true too, that like, we learn a lesson but then we just like have to learn it again a hundred different ways, on different layers. So, I’m on a new layer, and the new layer is realizing, because I’m actually undergoing a lot of changes in my team right now, and the new layer is like “Wait a second, the support, the real feeling of support that’s going to actually heal me is never going to come from outside”.
And yes, once I really wire in that feeling of feeling supported 24/7, no matter what’s going on in the external world, will I then attract the perfect team, the perfect partners, the perfect partnership with my merit, yes, perfect, maybe not such great word, the most supportive. So, for me, it’s been this real journey of like, which is so hard and also so freeing at the same time, and this applies to anything, right? It applies to love, it applies to money, it applies to whatever. It’s like “Okay, in what way can I plug into feeling safe and supported right now, even if nothing in my external world changed?” And that is my most important practice.
Thank you for sharing all of that! And I think many of us who go into Self-Development, Coaching, Entrepreneurship, these are fields that call for us, especially when we’re getting things started, to be everything, right? We’re the talent, we’re the coach, we’re the backend, we’re the copywriter, we’re the tech, we’re the this, we’re the that, and then we get validation to “I took nothing and I’ve created it into something because of my hard work. So, if I just see more things and find more problems and keep moving forward, I will continue to become more successful”. And at the same time, we’re putting ourselves into the exact same situation that nothing is ever going to be enough.
And I’ve learned something, just, not even learned, but just remembered, that sometimes what we think is a good job is just our personal preference. And something can be done, it might not be the exact way that you would’ve done it, but that doesn’t mean that it was wrong, it just means that it’s different.
And I think for so many of us, especially who are creatives, we are just so used to, and we want everything to be ours and a reflection of us, that it prevents us from being able to let go and then we’ve created so much evidence in our minds for times we’ve let go and we’ve been dissatisfied and hurt, and we’re like “See, this is why I can’t trust anyone, and I have to do everything myself”. But then it puts us in this box of just like “No one will ever be able to support me and what am I really even doing this for?” And it’s so needed because, especially for people who want to be coaches and want to be able to support other people, that foundation is going to be really weak if you don’t feel supported within yourself.
Within yourself. And for me, that feeling of support, comes from the divine and it comes from prayer, it comes from lying on the earth and just feeling like “Okay, look at all this gravity, I’m supported, I don’t have to do anything”, it comes from nervous system healing practices, it comes from talking to God, it comes from, you know, connecting with the Divine Mother, all of those things help me to feel supported in a way that having the right VA is literally never going to do.
Because we’re looking for something outside of us to almost, like, validate what’s going on internally, and it never can, you know. And we’re always shifting as well, so how do we, if we don’t really even know what we want, how do we expect anyone else to?
It’s so true! And I love what you said about just preferences vs right or wrong. Like, yeah, knowing that “Okay, well, if someone does something differently than you would have”, I mean, maybe even from the business side, analytically, like, just test it, maybe their way would work better, right?
So often, I have a team member come in and be like “Let’s do it this way” or “I just did it this way”, and I’m like “Wow, that, I never would’ve thought to do that way. And look at that, works better than the way I was going to do it. Cool!” So, sometimes, we do have to push our edge, and so, when we’re pushing our edge, that’s when the spiritual practice really comes into play, because we will have so much more capacity to push our edge and sit with the unknown and be like “Hey, okay, I didn’t write this email sequence, someone else wrote it differently than I would have, let’s take it for a test drive” instead of staying up until 2:00AM rewriting it because I don’t have that sense inner safety and support to be able to tolerate the discomfort of taking somebody else’s work for a test drive, or any other number of uncomfortable situations we might experience every day.
Yeah, and this can apply to the way that someone took care of your kids or, you know, really did anything. We all have our ways of doing things that we believe to be best, and that makes sense, and other people have their ways of doing so. So, I think the core wound comes to “No one cares like I do”, of like, we put so much into the things that matter to us and when we see someone just winged it, and maybe it’s amazing or it’s a great surprise, or maybe they just didn’t care, it triggers that feeling of like “Well, if I don’t do everything, things will fall apart”.
So, you wrote this book “Do Less” and you speak a lot about how doing less can help you do more. How can we, again, start to create that evidence in our minds that we don’t need to hold onto everything otherwise it will fall apart, but rather see that us being in our zones of geniuses will actually allow the more important things to happen, which will move the needle for everything else?
Yeah. So, a really practical example of this, just from the day-to-day of my business right now, because you spoke about zone of genius, by the time this Podcast Episode comes out, I’m assuming I will have made this announcement, so I’m just going to say it now, which is that, recently, my husband and I decided to start working together again, after a 2-year hiatus.
So, we started our company together and then, about 2 years ago, he stepped away and worked on some other things, and now he’s coming back, and I’m so excited about that. But yesterday, we had a conversation about zones of genius and roles and responsibilities. So, we mapped out a little campaign that we’re doing, and for me, it was so essential, and it has been so essential, and this is one of the core things I teach – to identify what are the 20% of activities that actually bring in 80% of the results in my business. And this is just essential, like, this is a must-do exercise, it’s in my book “Do Less”, it’s in the Origin Membership, it’s in my Program (Heal The Way You Work), it’s in the Do Less Planner, it’s everywhere, because it will take you 20 minutes to do this exercise. And you map out what are the things I do in my business, I’m just going to use business as an example – what are the things I do in my business, and then what are the biggest wins that have happened, like signing my first client, getting booked on this big podcast, whatever the wins are. And then you actually can draw the connection between what tasks have gotten you the results, and it becomes very obvious what to be spending your time on and what to not.
And so, for me, I was like “My role, in this company, is creating content, being the visionary, bringing the enthusiasm, because I have that in bucket loads, and nurturing relationships, that’s what I do and that’s what I’m here to do”. And so, first, you have to really do an analysis and ask “What are the 20% that bring in 80% of the results?”
Now, many people are not going to be in a position where then they can just literally offload the other 80%, I totally get that. I started my business 12 years ago, the reason I am in a position to offload those things is because of time, not because, you know, on Day 1. But here’s what I did on Day 1 that I recommend you do if you’re earlier on in your journey, is, keep a Google doc open, or keep a notes section in your phone, and write down every time you’re screwing around with the backend of your WordPress site or every time you’re in there building an email campaign, or you’re in Canva doing the graphics, whatever it is, and you know that’s not one of your 20% items, write it down because that document will then become the job descriptions of all the support team that, over time, you will call in. And the sheer act of writing down the tasks and the roles that they will fill, will call them to you faster and puts out a signal to the Universe that says “Hey, I know I’m not going to be doing this forever, so I am building the infrastructure already”, I’m putting my order to the Universe to say “I’m available for support”, and actually here’s the job description – your business will grow faster with that mindset and that perspective than it will with the mindset and perspective of “I have to do everything myself, I’m just getting started, I’m not like Sahara, I don’t have a team”, that’s going to get you nowhere, I would say.
This is so important because my biggest business regret is not doing that sooner, because I carried that belief based on the core wound that I’m not supported, that even if I try to hire someone, mind you, the people I was hiring were like super inexpensive people from the Philippines and India, who just didn’t even get what I wanted, and then I’m like “See, they didn’t do it the right way, I have to do everything myself”, I’m not hiring people in their zones of genius and then I’m reaffirming the beliefs that I have to do it myself
So, I mean, in a way I’m grateful because I learned how to build websites and do SEO and do all of these different things, but would I have been more successful sooner, had I not learned those things and just stuck to my zone of genius and instead say “Look, I’m going to double down on creating content and writing books, and speaking, and the things that actually come more easefully for me”, and are the reason people are signing up for the things.
And I think, again, part of it also comes from like a scarcity consciousness of like “I don’t have the money to pay for that thing”. And my hats off to people, I see some people, they’re early in their businesses, but whatever they have coming in, they invest it right back into the business and hiring those people, and I’m like “I wasn’t one of those people”, and I wish I was because I would’ve gotten there just sooner and in a more flowy way.
I completely agree! And I am the kind of person – some people give the advice of like “Don’t hire anybody until you have 3-6 months of their salary saved away in an account”, I wish I were that kind of person, I’m not. I’m the kind of person who started my business care over American Express. I just was like “Well, I’m going for it”, now I have a safety net, I’m not like a whatever, there’s so many different situations and so many different scenarios. But I do agree with you, hire before you think you’re ready, get the support before you think you’re ready. However, there’s a caveat to that, and that caveat is, do not give away your power in that exchange. So, for those people who, maybe, do have the same core wound as us, or maybe don’t, there might a tendency to be like “If I just throw money at this problem, it will get fixed”, and what I love that you said Sahara, is that you did actually learn how to do the SEO and how to do these different things. Now, there could certainly be debate about whether or not that’s a good idea or not, but there is something to be said about, at least, having the basic understanding of it so that you know when someone comes on board, if they’re doing a good job or not and if they have any idea what they’re doing.
So, I mean, hiring is a whole conversation, but around support, if you are not, at the same time, cultivating healing practices, where you’re healing your nervous system, and you’re working on feeling supported from the inside out, no amount of hiring is ever going to solve the problem and you will continue to attract people who are a match for your wound.
Absolutely. And while we’re just on this topic of hiring, a lot of people listening to this Podcast, they are coaches or wanting to step into coaching, and they’re overwhelmed just by the sheer amount of tasks required in an online business.
If you were to go back and start your business today, who would be the first person you hire and what would you have them do?
Well, I would do exactly what I did, so I’ll just say what I did. The first person I hired was somebody to help me with my customer service inbox, and I’ll tell you why, and this is specific to me, but I bet you, a lot of your community has the same thing. I’m really sensitive and I don’t want to change that about myself, some people say you just have to get a thicker skin, but I’m like “My thin skin makes me good at what I do”. And so, if we had a nasty comment come through, it’s not like we had times, but I would want to crawl under my desk and not come out for weeks when I was reading those myself. And so, having somebody to be a gatekeeper and create that buffer, not between me and my clients, but between me and the general public, was actually really essential so I could stay in my soft heart and have somebody else act as a physical boundary
So needed! You now, I used to read all of the emails that would come back and it would be even something as simple as “Get me off your email list, I’ve tried to unsubscribe three times and you keep emailing me”, and then I would be like “Why wasn’t this person, is there something wrong?” Or even reading reviews of your book, your podcast, all of these things.
Oh, I’ve never read a review of my book.
I wish I had that willpower, I really do, but I’m like “It’s out on the internet and I need to know”, and then I read it and I linger on it, and it’s so harmful and it even, every time I have a book that’s going to come out, that is the thing I am the most anxious about, is reading those reviews, because it’s like, basically you’re printing out pages of your journal for the public to then write reviews on Amazon and be like “I didn’t like how she said this”, and it is tough! So, I do, I love that.
And I think with customer service too, we’re so used to customer service being like, again, someone in another country that maybe doesn’t speak English as their first language, that you have to repeat what you said a million times, and people just tend to be really nasty to customer service people, but then when it comes to these small businesses like ourselves, where we’re writing the word ‘we’, but it’s really just me, and then we’re reading those emails, it can really, really hurt and make it feel like you’re doing something wrong.
I think another thing with coaches, too, is like, when someone doesn’t want to continue coaching with them or they put out a course and someone wants a refund, and it can kill you and really make you feel like “I’m not cut out for this”, and I’m someone, too, that can be very sensitive, so, sometimes, maybe, that’s just having that boundary there of “If it’s something really important that I need to know, let me know”, but if it’s just someone getting their shit out or they just have a rude tone, I don’t need to hear it in that way.
No, because you and I can feel people, that’s what makes us good at what we do. And so, I don’t need to feel that many people, it’s not good energetic hygiene.
So, yeah, having that boundary person, and then, really looking at “Okay, so, what are…”, so, if you’ve done your 80/20 exercise and you know what the 20% of activities are that you need to be doing to drive results, then you can look at the rest that are left over and say “Out of these things, which ones are essential? Which ones really need to be done in order for coaching clients to come in the door? For revenue to be made?” And then out of those, what are you going to hire out for first? And it might be – you know, for me, it would definitely be, like, tech stuff and like systems stuff, and I’m just like “What?”, so, that’s, for me, that was what I did next.
And so, you know, it’s going to be specific for each person because some people actually kind of love those things. I don’t mind doodling around in Canva, for example. I was an Art History major, it’s actually kind of fun for me, so I would hire out graphic design after I would hire out, like, dealing with entrepreneur work and developing a website.
I’m the same, like, same kind of visionary/creator archetype, so, for me exactly. So, I know when I’m spending too much time on these, like, tech or anything related to numbers, something is wrong because I’m not the right one who should even be doing this.
Right! And from a Do Less perspective, what we have to really understand is that we just have this packet of energy every day, right? And so, when we use our energy on one thing like dealing with tech or dealing something with numbers, that’s not for us, it is syphoning it away from the thing that we really need to be doing, which, you know, obviously for you, is showing up, being face forward, creating content, that’s your service to the world, that’s your Dharma, obviously. And so, I don’t want to say that we have a limited amount of energy because I actually do believe that we can tap into sources of energy that refuel it pretty, maybe not easily, but like, there/there. But it is really important to think about your energy that way, which is why I teach energy management, not really time management, because when you know how to manage your energy, the time just takes care of itself because you and I both know doing – for me, at least, I’ll just say, doing something like this is very energizing, I would do this all day long, it’s such a joy, I will finish this, I will have all this extra energy for other things. So, this fills my energy reserves and something else depletes my energy reserve. And so, we do need to be thinking about it in terms of what’s pouring in and what’s taking out, not in terms of the external, of like “What should I be doing?” or “What should I not be doing?”
For example, for me, and never say never, but the idea of doing trending reels, just doesn’t feel like that would fill me up. I like doing reels, particularly just silly dancing, totally fills me up, but I know other people who do similar businesses, that would really not do it for them. It doesn’t make me wrong and them right, it doesn’t make them right and me wrong, which is also why a great Do Less strategy is to keep your eyes on your own paper and just do what lights you up because God made you in a specific way, to be specifically wired for specifically your Dharma. And so, like, if you’re following what lights somebody else up, you’re not following the right instructions.
Absolutely! And yeah, for one thing, for me, I love creating content, but I hate video editing, like, going through it and editing it. That’s why, every time, I tried YouTube, it’s never worked for me because it just requires a high level of editing and going through it, whereas a conversation like a Podcast, like, we just have this in one go, literally, nothing really needs to be edited out. And so, for me, I could just keep creating and keep being in my zone of genius rather than in this production mode that I know, for me, I start getting resentful of “Why am I spending so much time in this? I could be doing other things”, and then, that energy lingers on for you the rest of the day, you kind of need to shake it off, and you’re just not going to be channeling your best ideas when you’re holding onto that, like, stuck energy.
So, maybe the next thing, I could eventually hire someone for, is this amazing videographer who can do the editing for me and then I can get on YouTube. But I know for right now, what’s easy for me is to go on Zoom and have these conversations, and I’m just going to be doing what works and what feels good rather that “Well, I see other people are growing on YouTube, so I should be doing that”.
Totally! Now, I also want to say, because this will come up as people are listening, “Okay, yeah, but what about all those things that actually do need to get done?” For example, I have to call TB Bank about this, I’m like I’d rather put a hot poker in my eye, but some of the stuff, you just have to do it, there’s a certain amount of adulting, there’s a certain amount of just like business logistics. So, then, asking ourselves the question, not always “What am I doing but how am I doing it?”, because there is a very real magic to approaching a task with the energy of, like, “This is casting a spell of success over my business and my life” as opposed to “This is judgery and I shouldn’t have to do this”, or whatever.
So, your intentionality and like how – so, there’s a phrase that my grandfather used to say, I don’t know where he got it, “How you do it is what you get”. So, yes, there’s the what? And of course, do the 80/20 and delegate it and systemize, and automate, and eliminate everything that’s not in your 20% as much as possible. And then, like, we’re all human beings and we just have to do a certain amount every day that we don’t want to do.
And so, that, for example, I think about, sometimes I really don’t want to put my kids to bed because it’s just like, they’re tired, I’m tired, there’s a lot of shenanigans, so, but like, bedtime is happening, I’m the mom, and like, at least half of the time I do it. And so, I can approach it as “I hate this, this sucks, I just want them to be asleep and I just want to be done for the day” or I can approach this “This is an opportunity for meaningful connection with my kids and I only have so many bedtimes that are left before they leave the house”, which, of course, makes me want to cry.
So, when I show up for bedtime from that place, we create magic, as opposed to when I show up for bedtime from the place of like “Pff, I just want this to be over”, of course my kids are going to act out more, of course, they’re going to feel my resistance, and so, that’s with the human being. But everything in the world has energy, and everything in the world is responding to our energy, whether it’s a customer service person, whether it’s a tree, whether it’s just sort of like the general quantum field, so, how we do things matters also, and we can always change how we’re doing something, even though we can’t always change what we’re doing.
I love how many people use the phrase “I get to”, instead of “I have to”, “I get to” “I get to put my kids to bed”, “I get to reply to these emails”, “I get to call my health insurance”, I have health insurance, so cool! To realize these things, and what a gift!
And sometimes just changing it to “I get to” just reframes that this is all a gift, an opportunity, and something that many, many people, just the fact that we’re healthy and we’re not in the hospital today is such a gift!
And another thing that I have been toying with is this concept of ‘being in my doing’. So, even as I’m on this call with you right now, rather than thinking “Oh, I’m doing a Podcast”, it’s like “I’m being here with you”, and in everything, like, even the things that are less enjoyable, I’m waiting on the phone and I’m on hold with the airline for 20 minutes, it’s like “I’m being right now. Can I stare out the window at the clouds? Can I foam roll? Can I just listen to my breath, connect to my heart?”, and bringing more energy of that being which actually elevated the way that people feel in our vicinity.
So, let’s say you’re coaching, and sometimes these things, we get more anxious about them before they happen, than the actual process. So, you might be like “Oh, I have this meeting” or “I’m doing a coaching call”, or whatever else, and you’re so nervous about it and you’re anxious, but then when you’re there, if you take the energy of, like, leaning back and just, like, being in your throne and breathing and being, instead of, like, the front of your chair and, like “I need to impress”, which creates that energy of desperation, which that other person can feel, it completely shifts everything.
I love that so much!
So, I want to talk about regenerative business, which is something that you share about in cyclical living, and living in alignment with the seasons of our lives. I believe a lot of people on the Podcast have heard about aligning with their menstrual cycle, but maybe they’re not doing it in relation to their business and also in relation – I think a big question is “Well, there’s the Moon and there’s my menstrual cycle, which one do I line up with?” So, I would love to receive your whole download on this.
Yes. So, the idea for Generative Business is like – so, I used to talk about sustainability in business a lot, which is like “Can you keep doing the same thing that you’re doing, indefinitely, without running dry?” And then I watched a really great movie called Kiss The Ground, which I highly recommend, it’s a documentary about regenerative agriculture. And I was so lit up by A) the literal regenerative agriculture, but B) all the metaphors that I saw between regeneration in agriculture and regeneration in the way we grow our businesses. And I began thinking about my business in terms of compost and, like, things we’re not doing anymore or “failures”, or like “How can things that didn’t go the way I wanted them to? How can that become compost to then feed into new growth?”
So, regenerative business is really about how can we run our businesses in a way that’s not only sustainable so we could do it for a long time in the same way, without running dry, but how can we run them so that we are adding more into the system through the running of the business than we are taking away?
Now, the system being all of the parts, so, that includes the seen and the unseen, it includes you and it includes your team, and it includes your bank account, and it includes your customers, it includes your community, it includes your email, it includes planet Earth, it includes Instagram, like “How can I, basically, put more in than I’m taking out, through this process?” And so, I think we start with our interior, which is our own energy reserves. And one of the key practices there then, is looking at “How can I manage my energy so that I have enough time for the things that matter?” And my core, core way of doing that is aligning my workflow cyclically.
I do this, this will answer the question about the menstrual cycle and the Moon. So, some people know about like, seed cycling and adjusting your food for your menstrual cycle, adjusting your fitness for your menstrual cycle, and those are all, it’s such a beautiful practice, especially if you are working on womb healing and healing any symptoms with your menstrual cycle, so I love all that stuff, I just don’t teach it.
The piece I love talking about is, okay, if I know there are four phases of the cycle, and I’m going to essentially through a personal spring, summer, autumn and winter, every month, how can I live – it’s essentially like how can I live a mini year every month and have these opportunities for renewal every single month? It’s so freaking exciting to me, because that’s where we get into renewing our energy reserves, because there’s no such thing as an ending, we’re just always coming back around to the beginning, always filling back up, it’s so refreshing. And there’s no such thing as a missed chance.
The idea, linear time, makes us feel like we’re constantly running out of time and it puts our nervous system in a state of sympathetic, which is fight/flight/freeze or fawn, vs the idea of cyclical time like “Oh, I actually can’t run out of time, there is no beginning, there is no end, it’s just calm”, then you are just where you are and you could just locate yourself in time and space, and always know that exactly where you are is the perfect place because there are gifts in every phase of the cycle.
So, I like to talk about, if you are somebody who has a regular-ish, you know, give or take three days, here there, a regular menstrual cycle that is unmedicated and healthy, like, no major symptoms that are throwing you off, then you would want to use your menstrual cycle as your primary, for your tracking and your organizing. If you are pregnant, lactating, perimenopausal, postmenopausal, on hormonal birth control, trans, those would all be situations where you’d want to use the Moon. And during a person’s life, there will be many phases when you’re not, even if you are a menstruator, there will be many phases when you’re not having a regular menstrual cycle for any reason, and that’s why I love that the Moon is there to hold us, no matter what. And it’s actually far more predictable, so, it’s actually easier to track with the Moon because we know what the Moon’s going to be doing 20 years from now.
Now, people ask me then, like, “Okay…”, because I talk about that during the Full Moon, for example, “Is it time to do visibility activity?” So, it’s a great time to be on a podcast or a pitching podcast, or going Live with a masterclass, or doing a launch or whatever, and people are like “Well, how can I plan for that?”, and “Are you doing all your batching of podcastering on ovulation?” and my answer is no. It’s impractical, but what I do know is, at the beginning of every week, I know what phase of my cycle I’m in, and so I know what my fundamental energy flavor is. So, this week, I’m between days 16 and 22 of my cycle, and I use a tool called The Daily Energy Tracker that’s inside my Do Less planner, so every day I know exactly what day of my cycle I’m on, I know what phase I’m in, and I know exactly what kind of energy flavor that is. This phase is the luteal phase, it’s the time of our cycle that’s the 10-12 days before our period begins. It’s a time of winding down, it’s time of turning within, it is a lower external energy time, so it’s the autumn, so it’s a time I know, for me, I’m going to feel less social, I’m going to have less energy at the end of the day and I’m going to be more detail-oriented. So, during this time, I just know, like, if I have too much on my schedule, I’m going to be cranky. So, at the beginning of the week I will look and say “Is there anything non-essential that can be moved?” vs when I’m ovulating or when I’m follicular, that’s spring time/summer time energy, I know that I’m going to have capacity up the wazoo, and I’m like “Bring it on!” I can go out at night, I could do a breakfast meeting, I could do back-to-back six coaching calls, no problem. But I know that that’s not how I am all the time and so, the gift of living in this way is to know that the fact that you’re not the same all the time is your superpower, it is not a problem. And patriarchy tells us that it’s a problem because patriarchy is a heavily aligned masculine society which is why so many people don’t practice cyclical living in business because business tends to be a more masculine sphere of our lives. It is overly associated with spring/summer energy, which is the yang, which is the masculine energy. There’s nothing wrong with masculine energy, so great! However, when we’re all in masculine energy and we’re all focused on external results and all focused on the doing, and all focused on the visible, we will burnout. And so, part of regenerative business, honestly, like, if everyone just started there and got their energy cycling and got themselves in a place where they’re in deep relationship with their own cyclical energy, whether you’re tracking with the Moon or whether you’re tracking with your menstrual cycle. I like to add in a little flavor of the Moon, so, like, I also know that if the Moon is a ramping up phase, we’re moving towards the first quarter right now, so I check in with what’s going on with my body, first, and then I just add, kind of, a flavor of the Moon, of like “Oh, also, this is happening, so that’s what’s going on with the collective energy, which helps me just help my clients more, know what’s going on in social media, all of that stuff.
Thank you for sharing all of that. And yeah, my period often changes between bleeding with the Full Moon and New Moon, which, from what I’ve read, when you’re bleeding with the Full Moon, you’re more in your priestess, wild woman sage energy, whereas when you’re bleeding with the New Moon, you’re more in your maternal, motherly energy. And in between those shifts, sometimes it will be the pink and the purple Moon, which are the in between, so that’s why I’m like “It’s a Full Moon, but I’m bleeding, so what should I do?”
So, it’s interesting about that too, I love what you said there and I’ll add a little flavor, which is that, when we are having our period, we are most connected to our intuition and we’ll have the most access to our inner wisdom. So, it’s a wonderful time to make decisions, it’s a wonderful time to really go inside and listen to your inner voice.
So, if you’re cycling on the New Moon, one interpretation is that those lessons, those downloads, are for you in your internal experience. When you’re cycling on the Full Moon, it is often that those downloads you’re receiving, are actually also for the collective because you are having a deep internal experience under the full light of the Moon. So, light is meant to be shown on what’s coming through.
And that makes totally sense, it being related to the priestess energy who is here to share those downloads with the world, so I love hearing it that way.
And yeah, as you were sharing this, it just reminded me, I’m also in my luteal phase and you know, sometimes there are things that are on your calendar from a long time ago and you just can’t do anything about them, but then what about the rest of life, you know. I think sometimes we, like, take that one thing, we’re like “See, I could never align with my menstrual cycle because I had this meeting”, but it’s like, what about the other 23 or 20 hours of the day? What about the type of journaling that you do? Or, you know, the morning practice that you have, or just the way that you even carry yourself in that meeting or that talk, or whatever else it is.
I think it was you who said this, but you said you had to do a talk and you were menstruating, and instead of being like run off the stage and in that bold energy, instead, you showed up on stage with just a little bit more of an internal, like, a wise woman energy. So, it doesn’t mean you have to cancel your appointment, it just means the way that you show up, and you get to use that superpower in a new way.
Exactly. And we’re back to ‘how you do it is what you get’. You get to show up, each week, in the energy. So, what is spring time you like? What is summer time you like? What is autumn you like? And what is winter you like? And each week of the month, you have an opportunity to let that phase of the Goddess come and play. And how beautiful to live a whole expressed life, to let those sides of yourself, each have a moment to lead.
So beautiful! So, if you were planning for your month ahead of time, and of course, we don’t totally know our menstrual cycle, like, what are the things that you do in your follicular? What are the things you do when you’re ovulating? What are the things you do in your luteal? And what are the things you do when you’re menstruating?
And one question I want to add to that is, do you count menstruation as the days that you’re actually bleeding or that full week?
Great! I count menstruation as the days I’m actually bleeding. So, I bleed for 5 days, so to me, menstruation is the day you start bleeding, like a full-on bleed. Some people spot a little bit before the period starts, so it’s like, this is the day that you need your cup or your period panties or whatever you use, like, you know. And then, from there, for most people it’s going to be from 3-6 days, that is actually your menstrual phase. So, your menstrual phase is going to be a little shorter than a week, for most people, and then your follicular phase is going to be 6 days, so the day that your period stops to 6 days from there. And then your ovulation is going to be, again, now, here’s what I want to say, some people ovulate at different times of the month, depending on their cycle, so, like, just because I ovulate on day 14 one cycle, does not I’m going to ovulate on day 14 on the next cycle. And it’s really important to know, to get in touch with what are your bio markers. So, some people actually feel a little pain in their ovary when they ovulate, certainly cervical mucus is a great indication, also your cervical position, I’m sure you can YouTube all of these things and learn more. We have a great Masterclass on it in our Origin Membership. And so, when you begin to intimately have that relationship with your body, I have seen time and time again, when you begin to track your cycle, when you begin to understand how you feel throughout the month and notice your own unique subtleties and build that intimacy – and let’s say you’re checking the position of your cervix or you’re checking your cervical fluid, you will get so much more in touch with the heartbeat of your soul and really, it will be easier to know your purpose because all of those expressions are expressions of who you are. And I can’t think of a more practical way to love ourselves than to get to know our physical experience in this intimate way and care for it.
So, what I do is, the day I get my period, I have this specific little diddy I do in my Google Calendar where I mark the 5 days as red (menstrual), I then mark the 6 days as follicular, then I mark the next days as ovulation in pink, and then I mark luteal the final 10 days, and I color code it.
So, every month you actually change the date of your ovulation based off of your bio markers or do you just kind of guesstimate it’s going to be like…?
I kind of guesstimate, I pretty much know the day it happens because of cervical fluid, so I’ll notice like, oh, this month, this current month I’m in, I ovulated early, I could just tell, and so, I know that my follicular phase was just a little shorter than I had had it on my calendar and ovulation came earlier, so that means I will probably get my period a little earlier than I predicted in my calendar. So, I’ll just like move things back a little bit.
And do we know what causes that to happen? It being earlier or later, is it related to stress?
I think it’s probably related to stress, I think there’s so many factors, right? Because, if we think about it metaphorically, ovulation is like your availability for being fertilized, and so, I wonder if there has to do something with your body, like picking up on any kind of evolutionary pressure? So, yes, stress would certainly affect it.
Travel affects it; huge exercise will affect it; I would imagine what’s going on between you and your partner, if you have one, affects it, just your level of turn on by your life, like, how present are you to the turn on in your life? Like, how present are you to lifeforce? All great questions to be asking yourself.
So, then I will look and I will just look at that menstrual week, primarily, and I will say “Okay, is there anything happening in that week that absolutely doesn’t need to happen?”, and I will cancel it, especially for the first three days. For the first three days, I am underground, like, I am not nearly as articulate, I have trouble tracking my thoughts and I am very much energetically in a cave, and I solve so many things during that time. Like, anything I bring in there, I come out on day 3 and I’m like “Got it, no problem, got the full plan!” And then, by day 3, certainly by day 4, I’m actually already, kind of, in that follicular energy.
The reason I know this about myself is because of the tracking practice that I started in Fall of 2016. So, I have been gathering data on myself in this way for 6 years. So, if you’re like “Who is this woman, how does she know all these things?”, it’s just because I’ve been in this relationship and I use my energy tracker to gather the data, so I just know how I am. And when we know how we are, we know how to support our energy. The world is never going to do that for us, we live in a patriarchy that supports the energy of a person who is testosterone dominant and cycles hormonally every 24 hours.
I hope that at some point in my lifetime, I see a real shift where that’s not the case anymore, but for today, it is my job to support this for myself. So, that menstrual energy, I really try to take as much off my schedule as possible, I let my husband know “Hey, got my period today, can you be on dinner, as much of the childcare as possible?” I’m good for cuddles during that time, but like, it’s hard for me to get the kids out the door. I mean, I do it, but I just know I’m going to move slower, I don’t schedule back-to-back Zooms. Follicular energy is like game on, I’m a spring baby, I was born March 21, first day of spring, so I’m like “This is my time, I could do all the things!” Same with all the way to ovulation, but then I know, for myself, during ovulation, I listen to and trust who I feel called to reach out to. So, during, about days, for me, it’s about days 10-14, it’s like a juicy time where I am going to think of people and I am going to feel excited about reaching out for a variety of reasons, and it might be socially, it might be business wise, and I just ride that cross-pollination wave and go for it during that time, and I trust – so, during your ovulation phase, you will be the most fertile, literally, but also metaphorically. And also, we actually release certain pheromones during that time that send the signal that we are available. Now, I’m not trying to have a baby, so that’s sort of neither here nor there, but I know, metaphorically speaking, like, that’s happening, so I trust that time.
And then for me, about day 16, 17, I kind of shut it down early, I have a quick cycle, it’s about 25 days, and so, like, my luteal comes early and I’m like “Okay, momma’s going to start her walk to the cave”, and so, that lasts like 8-10 days, I’m just kind of like wrapping things up, sitting in my office with the door closed, instead of watching a show with my husband at night, I’m often reading in bed or taking a walk by myself, and I just really honor that like half of the month, I just, more, want to be by myself and half the month I’m an extrovert on steroids, and it’s great.
What’s surprised me so much of tracking my cycle, and I’ve been doing it for many years as well, is how our luteal phase really is, like, half of the time, like how long that is, and I’m like “Wow”, like, one would think it would be like, okay, ¼ is follicular, ¼ is ovulation, ½ is luteal, but I’m like, we don’t give ourselves enough of that yin time that our bodies are actually in.
Exactly! Our bodies are wanting that yin time. And the other thing that’s really cool is, you will have the most energy for completing things during your luteal phase, how genius of Mother Nature to design us so that we have more energy to finish things than, or more time where we have the energy to finish things, than we do the time where we have more of starting things energy, because we all know it takes more time and energy to finish things than it does to start things. So, we’re just so divinely designed, if we would just follow it.
Absolutely! Because so many of us, especially creative types, “I’m going to start this and I’m going to do that”, and all the things, like we’re in Mastermind here, but sometimes it’s helpful for me to go back to those things on luteal and like “Do I really want to get all those things started? Do I have the resources to keep them going?”
So, ask all those questions during luteal and write down the answers, because we will have a really good negativity filter during luteal. If you’re like you and me, and we’re very highly enthusiastic, it’s great to put our luteal brain on those plans because will be negative Nancy at that time, and that’s excellent information. And then make the decision on like day 1 of your cycle, or day 2, or on the New Moon, if you’re not somebody who is cycling. That same energy is right there for you, you just bring it in and be like “Okay, Great Mother, Source”, whoever you talk to, I talk to the soul of my business, and I ask “What are we doing here? Are we doing this thing, are we not?”, and usually I get the answer in like 30 seconds, it’s so quick!
So important! And yeah, I think taking that time because we can end up on a timeline that could work, we could make it happen if we try hard enough, but it’s like “Is that what we want to be on? Is that in alignment with our core values of what we desire to live with?” And I think, you know, continuously asking yourself that question of like – in Human Design, the Reflectors are the ones who are, their authority is to actually wait a full lunar cycle to keep asking themselves the same question at different phases of the Moon because different answers will come online. But I’m wondering, like, all bleeding, menstruating people actually have this, and all of us should really be sitting with those, not like “Do you want this or that for dinner?”, but like the big questions in our lives, like, sit with that for a full menstrual and lunar phase because different sides of yourself are going to come online, you don’t get the full picture until after.
So good, so helpful! Well, thank you so much for all of this wisdom, it definitely has reinvigorated and energized me to apply more of this wisdom into my life. I think, for so many of us, we like know about it and we’re like “One day I’m going to do it, but I can’t now”, and it’s like, no, this is the time and it doesn’t need to be this total revamping, it can just be the add-ons and the icing that you add onto things to make your life more nourishing and supportive for you.
So, thank you again for sharing all of this! And where can people connect with you, read your blog read your books and all of the incredible wisdom that you put out into the world?
Yeah! Oh, thank you for having me, this has been so much fun! So, the best place to connect is if you go over to Instagram, you can hook up with me @katenorthrup, please say hello, I love to show up there. And then, I do have, if you’re feeling any kind of, like, financial pressure or pressure around your business and making it work or just anything like that, I do have a business pressure relief kit, and you really could replace the word ‘business’ with ‘life’. So, any kind of pressure you’re feeling, I’ve got 6 strategies to help you relieve that pressure immediately, without needing to change any external circumstances, so, if you go over to theorigincompany.co/strategies you can download that, and it’s totally free and that’s a great way to connect and then kind of like find out all the other places to play.
Amazing! Well, thank you so much for sharing today, we so deeply appreciated it!
Thank you, love!
[58:50] End of Interview
How beautiful was that conversation with Kate! I hoped it served as a reminder to you that your cyclical nature is not something that’s out against you, but it actually is part of your superpower.
So often, we do expect ourselves to show up the same time, the same way, all the time, and it’s not how we’re designed. So, for me, that was just such a reminder, again, to tune into my nature, how I am in this moment which, right now, actually for me, is my luteal phase, and to receive the gifts of that.
So, if you’re interested in stepping into your own personal gifts, learning what they are, stepping into your soul’s purpose, the big reason why you are here, your energetic frequency, what you are here to share with the world, then I invite you to join me this Fall in Dharma Coaching Institute. You can spend 6 months diving deep with me into really embodying your sacred mission on this planet and learning how to create a career to help people tune into theirs. So, you can head over to dharmacoachinginstitute.com to learn more, book a call, get your feet wet, see what we have in store for you and you can find that link in the show notes.
Thank you so much for tuning into this week’s Episode, and I’ll see you in the next one! Namaste!
Episode #455: How To Align Your Biz + Life With Your Menstrual + the Moon Cycle
By Sahara Rose