Healing is confronting, challenging and also the most courageous work you can do. In this episode, I send extra love for those of you deep in the healing journey (which by the way is a spiral, with layers always unfolding.) I share how an emotion gets trapped in the body and needs to be felt in its entirety in other to be released. I also offer different practices you can do to support your healing journey. Don’t let the fear of feeling keep you from healing. Just know the breakthroughs and healing you’re having now are setting you up for even higher levels of joy, ease and love than ever before. If you are in the healing journey right now, this is for you.
Doors are opening back up for Dharma Coaching Institute to become a Certified Soul Purpose/ Spiritual Life Coach this March! Join the waitlist here: https://dharmacoachinginstitute.com/
Intro + Outro Music: Silent Ganges by Maneesh de Moor
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Episode 420: If You’re Healing Right Now – This Is For You
By Sahara Rose
Namaste, it’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes You, Your Soul’s Highest Evolvement.
This Podcast, for me, really is such a therapeutic place to share what is on my heart. And I’ve recently been doing a deeper layer of healing work. And when I say deeper layer, I mean that the healing journey never really ends.
You know, I used to think, before embarking on all of this, I’m like “Okay, I just need to heal and then I’ll be done with this”, and now I’ve realized, I’m like “Oh wow, it’s more like an onion, like the ogles are onions”, and it’s just a never-ending spiral to unfold. And that’s why we’re here, that’s why we’re in human form, we’re not here to bypass over the emotions that come up, but rather to go deeper into them. And it’s fucking hard! It is really hard to do the deep healing work and this is why, chances, no one in your family, definitely in my family, has ever done it before because it’s challenging, it’s confronting, it’s painful, it requires you, sometimes, to revisit memories that you’ve blocked out of your mind. It’s a lot and don’t let the fear of feeling keep you from healing.
So, an emotion needs to be felt in its entirety, to be complete. And when we don’t feel an emotion fully, it ends up being trapped in our body and ends up being repressed, which causes it to manifest again and again and again.
So, let’s say, just in my own example, when I was 10 years old, I was thrown down a hill by a group of kids for being a witch, and I got a concussion on the way down and I woke up to them laughing at me, and I had to walk myself to the Principal’s office, where I was sent home, and then I was basically told “Oh well, it’s your fault, you were scaring the kids from talking about magic and spells, so it’s your fault and you’re not allowed to talk to those girls anymore.”
So, I told myself a story that me being magical gets me in trouble. In fact, it gets me injured, it gets me hurt, I could die for it. And in that moment, what I wanted to feel, is, I wanted to scream, I wanted to feel anger, I wanted to feel anger at those kids, I wanted to feel anger at my mom for not doing anything. I had so much anger in me but it just trapped inside of me and I repressed it, and that developed a fear of groups of people coming against me. And of course, when Cancel Culture is on and poppin’ in 2020, I’m so crippled and afraid of being cancelled. And it wasn’t even happening to me but it was this deeper trauma that wasn’t totally felt, and because of that, it ended up manifesting again and again and again, that if someone would even write a mean comment to me, I wasn’t really worried about that comment, it was the fear of groups of people coming against me and my life essentially being in danger.
So, that’s an example of how this trauma, this unfelt emotion, ends up being trapped in our bodied, and because it’s never really felt, it ends up actually manifesting again and again and again because your consciousness wants to heal this thing, your body wants to heal. So, it’s like “Hey, you’ve never healed this feeling of unsafety around groups of people, so let’s continue to provide you with situations of being in groups of people and feeling a bit unsafe so you can move past that and realize ‘I am safe, even when groups of people don’t like me’.”
So, by actually going into it and feeling it, and it doesn’t mean for a lifetime, it actually just means for a minute. In fact, a lot of research has shown that an emotion can only fully be felt for about 90 seconds. And I know what you’re thinking, you might be like “Well, I ‘ve been holding on to sadness for a lot longer that 90s, but to actually fully go into it and feel the emotion in its entirety.
So, a practice that we can actually do right now if you want, and only go to the extent that you feel regulated, and of course, because I’m not with you right now, it’s important for you to only go into this if you feel like you’re in a balanced enough state to be able to this practice.
But the practice is, we’re going to bring up a feeling that you’ve been avoiding. So, maybe it’s anger, or maybe it’s sadness, or maybe it’s disappointment, shame, guilt, disgust.
So, take an emotion that you can tap into without losing yourself in right now because I can’t hold that space for you so it’s important for you to know “Okay, what is something what’s showing up and I can tune into this while not losing myself in it?”
[05:12] Sahara (practice)
Okay, so now that you have the emotion, I want you to bring it up. Feel that emotion in your body right now. Feel where you feel it in your body, is it in your heart, your belly? What does it feel like? How are you breathing? And now, as you give your full attention to this feeling, drop any thoughts you have around it. So, don’t think about what caused the feeling, just feel it right now. Go deeper into it. Notice how it may be moving right now. Maybe it’s actually lightning up a little bit. Maybe it’s softening. You may actually not be able to feel the emotion anymore.
And now, just taking in a deep breath and shaking it out, just releasing that emotion now from your body. Great work! Thank you, thank you, you did an amazing job!
Okay, so, you may have noticed that simply by feeling that emotion, even for one minute, it was actually difficult to hold onto it. Maybe you noticed it started to soften, release, lighten up. Maybe there is another emotion underneath that, and then you can continue to do this practice to just really feel; maybe under the anger, there’s sadness; and under the sadness there is some guilt; and under the guilt there’s some shame; and you can actually keep doing it and really feeling the emotion in the present moment.
And this is so important because we spend a lifetime avoiding an emotion that we simply could go into, even for a moment in time. And just that feeling, it will begin to dislodge this emotion from your being so you don’t have to keep subconsciously manifesting situations again and again to repeatedly feel it. Because, again, emotions want to be felt, they’re energy in motion, you are emoting.
So, when we run away from that, we run away from the wave, it actually begins to chase us, and we’re running away from it forever. But if we actually just go into it instead, we’re able to complete the cycle. And just by doing that practice that you just did for one minute, you actually began the process of untangling that emotion.
So, imagine your emotion was like this pile of necklaces that you’ve had in your draw for so long and they’re totally tangled up, and every time you really feel it, it’s like giving an hour’s work of untangling towards those necklaces, and then you keep coming back and coming back until you notice that there’s actually no more knots and your energy can flow and you don’t have the same triggers anymore. Maybe you’ll get to a place that you don’t even have triggers, that would be amazing!
So, it’s so important for us to have practices to feel and to heal. So, breathwork – I have swapped from waking up in the morning and checking Instagram, to waking up and doing a breathwork practice. There’s so many amazing ones on YouTube, I’ve had so many incredible breathwork facilitators on the Podcast, there are so many resources out there to dive deeper into this.
Doing EMDR, (Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), I have heard such incredible experiences from friends who have done EMDR for trauma releasing. It’s something I haven’t totally dived into for myself yet, but it’s something that I highly have been suggested by so many, and something I definitely want to try more this year.
For me, what I personally have done a lot of is Somatic Healing and Somatic Releasing/Experiencing. So, a method that I have done is called Radix, and there’s practitioners all over, and there’s also Somatic Experiencing Practitioners; Shamanic Shaking and other practices.
But in Radix, specifically, you go back to your first memory of feeling that emotion. So, I went back to my 10-year-old self and what was showing up for me at that time, and you actually, completely emote what you wanted to feel in that experience. I’m talking, you scream, you might punch pillows, you may be stomping your feet, and the practitioner is really there to guide you, to take you, actually, to a level that you probably wouldn’t go to yourself. And just doing that one session with her, completely released my fear of groups of people coming against me. And, in fact, I don’t even have situations like that show up in my field anymore because it’s no longer a lesson for me to learn.
So, we keep receiving the lessons that we need for our soul’s higher evolvement. So, if I need to learn a lesson about trust, I’m going to keep getting into situations where I need to learn about trust, but once I’ve healed, that wound, then I don’t need to learn that lesson anymore.
So, in fact, just doing one session of the Radix, the Somatic Healing, just completely eliminated the tension and the fear that I had around haters and Cancel Culture and all those things. So, I highly, highly recommend doing it! And it’s something that you can even begin to do on your own, of just giving yourself a ritual, a rage ritual, perhaps, where you punch pillows and scream or break things, whatever it is that you want to feel and just let yourself go there. Or a crying ritual that you just let yourself cry without guilting or shaming yourself or trying to intellectualize it or analyze it and see it from another perspective, and just let yourself cry the tears of your ancestors; or whatever the emotion is.
I know, for so many of us, we just want to move on, we’re like “I don’t want to feel it, I just want to live my life!”, but as hard as it to heal, it’s even harder not to, because if you don’t do the healing work, I mean, we all have examples in our lives, of what that looks like, of people who’ve never done the healing work, who are continually living the same lessons again and again and again, and maybe pointing the blame at everyone else and not looking within. So, maybe that’s your parents or siblings, or anyone in your life. So, it’s hard to heal but it’s even harder not to.
And it’s so important to have the courage to do the healing work and to give yourself love as you are doing it too, because it is extremely brave work and as you’re moving though those breakthroughs and higher levels of understanding, it’s so important to give yourself that compassion for not making yourself wrong for any decisions in your past, or not seeing things sooner or being in denial for so long, and just trusting that all is unfolding in divine timing, and you are exactly where you need to be. And in fact, we can’t even have realizations for things that we don’t feel safe enough and ready enough to have.
So, you know, for me, in this level of healing that I’m at right now, I couldn’t have done this work earlier just because I wasn’t in a safe enough space to let this layer of healing unfold. It wasn’t even my priority, I had other things I needed to heal like sharing my voice and living my Dharma and relationships, and the list of things that we get to heal in this lifetime, so now I’m just doing a deeper layer of Ancestral Healing Work and all sorts of other things. So, we can’t make ourselves wrong for not doing this sooner because it couldn’t have happened sooner.
Sometimes we don’t even remember things until we feel safe enough in a place to remember it. So trust that it doesn’t mean that it’s going backwards if you are uncovering deeper layers, if you are excavating heavier wounds, that doesn’t mean that you’re falling back, that doesn’t mean that you are living a lie, it just means that you have gotten yourself to a place that your nervous system feels safe enough to even let this come through, because when you are in fight or flight, you’re being that your nervous system feels like it’s being chased by lions and your sense of urgency, and you’re always on the go and you can’t calm down, you’re not going to be able to do deep healing work, you simply can’t uncover those shadows. But it’s finally when you take a moment, pause and breathe and feel and listen, that you may remember something that happened to you earlier in life, or an experience that never really got closure around, or whatever it is that may be showing up.
So, give yourself a lot of love, a lot of compassion, treat yourself the way that you would treat a child, because that is who’s hurting right now, it’s your inner child.
I highly recommend even having a picture of yourself as a child, printing it out, putting it in your wallet or on your desk and as you’re working through your day and you may be telling yourself in your inner monologue “You’re not going fast enough, you’re not doing a good job”, just to look at that child that is still living inside of you and to just pause for a moment and be like “Would I ever speak to a child in that way? Would I ever tell them that they’re not doing good enough or they’re an embarrassment or they should be ashamed of themselves?” And by the way, the voice that people talk to you, is the voice that they talk to themselves.
So, if anyone has ever said those things to you, that’s simply the voice that they speak to themselves, and that’s really sad.
So, we can have compassion for them while also not taking that on and not letting that be true, not letting that be our story because hurt people, hurt people, and the cycle ends with us and it’s extremely courageous for you to be stepping into a level of vulnerability and asking for support and looking at those creepy-crawly corners of the attic that many, many cobwebs have been forming because maybe no one in your lineage has ever done this kind of healing work and you’re stepping into it and you’re saying “This will stop with me.” And that is the most, THE MOST, courageous thing that you can do in this lifetime.
So, I just invite you to place your hand on your heart right now and just really feel yourself. Say “I love you (your name). Thank you for being brave and doing this healing work for me and all generations to come. Let me know what you need from me. I’m here for you. You are safe now. I got you! I love you so much and I’m so proud of who you’ve become. Thank you. Thank you. I love you.” And just give yourself a big hug, vowing to treat yourself extra gently, lovingly, giving yourself the space and time that you may need right now to heal.
And I just want to thank you on behalf of humanity because as each and every one of us heals, the world becomes a better place.
So, if you’re in it right now, I feel you, I love you and I know that you are going to step into even higher levels of joy, ease, abundance, play and love than ever before, from doing this healing work.
Every time we go in and we heal, it’s like we leap frog forward, it’s trust, that right now, you are planting those seeds that will blossom into many generations of flowers.
Thank you so much for tuning in, I’m so grateful for you to be here.
If you’re interested in becoming a Certified Spiritual Life Coach and Soul Purpose Coach, then I invite you to join me at Dharma Coaching Institute. This is my Institute where, in 6 months, you will learn everything from diving into your own Dharma, your Soul Purpose journey and helping others with theirs.
So, if you are passionate about Healing, Spirituality, Self-Love and becoming your Highest Self, then this opportunity is for you. Head over to dharmacoachinginstitute.com to learn more about it and join our wait-list as doors open up this March,
Again, that’s dharmacoachinginstitute.com and you can find that link in the show notes.
Episode 420: If You’re Healing Right Now – This Is For You
By Sahara Rose