This has now become an annual tradition and I hope to continue sharing the lessons I’ve learned each year on my birthday for all my years to come.

This year has really been my emergence- the butterfly spreading its wings.

I got engaged, launched Eat Feel Fresh as the #1 best-selling Ayurveda book (which took the spot of Idiots Guide to Ayurveda), public spoke in front of thousands of people, hosted a sold-out book tour in four cities, launched my Eat Right For Your Mind-Body Type, Doshas + Dharma, Awaken Your Powers, Abundance Mindset Masterclass/Program and Sex Money Magic programs, wrote my next book and another secret project, recorded over 150 podcast episodes, was interviewed on hundreds of others, launched my tanktop line, did a Panchakarma, started my doTERRA Path to Freedom biz/tribe, was featured in Yoga Journal, Vogue + Forbes, went back to Bali, recorded my first song + started to learn how to DJ.

Let’s just say it was a year of PITTA.

I learned a lot about my limits, boundaries, dedication, tribe and what truly matters. This episode is all about my lessons—and what’s next.

Dive into my world of plant-based, modern Ayurveda with my best-selling book Eat Feel Fresh: A Contemporary Plant-Based Ayurvedic Cookbook, with over 500 5-star reviews on Amazon! This is your ultimate guide to Ayurveda, chakras and all holistic Vedic healing, in an approachable, affordable and delicious way! Get it for $100 off at: www.amazon.com/Eat-Feel-Fresh-Co…ed/dp/1465475621/ Also available at Barnes + Nobles and wherever books are sold

Get your questions answered by me each week in my new Youtube show, Ask Sahara. From “what is my purpose” to “what do I do if I’m a cross between two Doshas” to “how do I manifest the one?” I’ve got your most pressing questions answered. Subscribe at youtube.com/sahara.

Take advantage of this month’s Care-Of New Year’s special and receive 50% off your first month of supplements by heading over to takecareof.com and enter code HIGHESTSELF50 for 50% off your supplements

Launch Your Career as a Holistic Health Coach in 2019 by studying at my alma mater, the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.
Email [email protected] to receive a savings of up to $1,800 on tuition or you can choose this package of amazing wellness gifts:
$1,000 tuition savings (when paid in full)
Tablet $200 Amazon Gift Card
$100 Thrive Market Gift Card and a 1 year membership
No matter which package you choose, you’ll also receive an invitation to an Integrative Nutrition conference, where you’ll get reserved seating.

Plus, IIN will donate $100 to a charity in your honor!

Intro + Outro Music: Silent Ganges by Maneesh de Moor

Let’s take the discussion further in the Mind-Body Balancers FB group: www.facebook.com/groups/1213662491998309/

Discover Your Dosha (Mind-Body Type) with my free quiz: iamsahararose.com

Connect with me for daily Ayurvedic and modern spiritual wisdom at Instagram: @iamsahararose Facebook.com/iamsahararose Twitter.com/iamsahararose

Order Eat Feel Fresh: A Contemporary Plant-Based Ayurvedic Cookbook and receive my Essential Oils for Your Doshas E-book FREE here: eatfeelfresh.com/book

 

Transcription

Episode 158 – 28 Lessons I’ve Learned In My 28 Years- Part 2 with Sahara Rose

By Sahara Rose

Namaste. It’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to the “Highest Self” podcast. A place where we discuss what makes you your soul’s highest evolvement.

My favorite way of reading books is actually listening to them. Yes, I’m a self-proclaimed Audible junky. Why? Because I’m able to walk, spend time in nature, clean my house, do all the things I need to do while still getting really high vibe content coming straight into my ears. If you love podcasts then you are the perfect person to begin listening to audio books. If you would like to get started with a free audiobook of your choice head over to audibletrial.com/highestselfpodcast. Again, Audible, A-U-D-I-B-L-E.com/highestselfpodcast and you will receive any audiobook of your choice absolutely free.

Want more video content from me? Well head over to my YouTube channel to check out my new show “Ask Sahara” where I will be answering your questions each week related to all things spirituality, entrepreneurship, Ayurveda, wellness, self-care, relationships, and everything in between. Head over to youtube.com/sahararose, and if you have any questions that you would like me to answer on “Ask Sahara,” simply send me an email over at [email protected]. We already have a bunch of episodes live talking about all things from how to know if you’re a cross between two doshas and what you should eat. How to become more confident, how do you find the one, how to shift into abundance mindset, and so much more. So head over to youtube.com/sahararose to dive in.

Welcome back to “28 Lessons In My 28 Years.” I had a lot of lessons to talk about in the first episode, which is why I’ve broken it into a two-part series, so welcome back to the second half. In this half we’re gonna continue with the lessons, so make sure you listen to part one. We’re gonna dive even deeper in part two, it gets a lot more personal in this part, and I’m really excited to share my heart with you, to share this year with you, and to allow you to see yourself in another person.

I’m sure a lot of the things that I’ve been working through you’ve been working through this year because energetically, we’re all connected, and I’m so looking forward to hearing about your lessons in your years. So please be sure to share that with me in the “Mind Body Balancers” Facebook group, which is the “Highest Self” podcast Facebook group, the link is on the show notes, and without further ado, let’s dive back into this episode.

So number 15: don’t think, just do. You know, people ask me all the time like how do you do it? Like how are you just doing so much? People from the outside are just, “You just always just be doing things.” And the reason how I’m able to do things is because I stop thinking about them. You know, before when I was very, very vata I would like deliberate every decision in my mind for like 12 hours, you know. I’d be like, “Should I do this or that? Was this gonna work or not? Should I move to Africa, should I start a jewelry line, should I start a skincare line, should I become a nun, like what should I do,” and I wasn’t actually taking action on anything.

And that’s what most people do, we think about it so much that we don’t end up doing it. Hey, guess what, you want to know if it’s gonna work or not, just try it, just get in that zone, you know. I’m never gonna know if I’m good at basketball or not unless I get on a basketball court, take the ball, and try to dribble, and shoot, and see how it goes. And I’m never gonna become better at it unless I keep on showing up on that court.

And I’m sorry it’s a sports analogy, and I’m sure many of you guys don’t practice basketball, neither do I, but for some reason we’re so clearly able to see it when it comes to something physical. But when it comes to something mental or spiritual, we think we’re supposed to just think about it and it shows up. No, it’s a practice. You think my first podcast sounded like this? No! I mean, a lot of people liked that podcast, but it was like me still not even being sure about any of it. I’m like, “Oh, hey guys, this is a new podcast, what’s up?” Like you can go ahead and listen to it, you’re gonna hear a very strong difference in my voice.

And the only reason why I’m confident about podcasting now is cause I’ve spent hundreds of hours doing it. You know, I could have spent the past year and a half thinking, “Should I start a podcast or not?” You know, I don’t know, do I have the time for a podcast, other people are talking about these things, you know, my friends have podcasts. I don’t want them to feel like I stole their idea, and guess what, this wouldn’t be here, lives wouldn’t be transformed, so many people who’ve started new careers, or shifted things in their mindset who I’ve had the opportunity to meet this year because of this podcast made incredible life shifts. That would not have happened had I stayed in my head. So stop thinking, and just do it.

Number 16: laughter is the language of the heart. This one is so simple, but really like the deeper you get the more you realize how true it is because we over-intellectualize everything. You know, we want to have a million reasons on why this works, why this can be proven, blah, blah, blah. I find myself still doing that sometimes too. You know, for example, I’ve been interested in this like old dynasty thing called Lemuria, it’s really weirded out there, but it’s pretty much kind of like Atlantis, but it was like more feminine and fun, and I’ve just been really curious about it, like I feel like I lived there in a past life, and wanting to learn more about it.

So I was at the beach and I’m like, “Oh, Lemuria,” and then I’m like, “Let me look up every podcast that’s mentioned Lemuria. Let me Google everything about Lemuria. Let me see if there’s any books about Lemuria.” And it’s like this is like a mystical that was in the ocean. Like any podcast or book on it is just speculation. Like the only way I can really connect with Lemuria—and this is really just an analogy to anything—is me going into my truth and me going into my joy.

So there I am, this moment, at the beach that I could have really connected into like, “Ugh, I feel so amazing at the beach, I feel so at home here. Why do I feel so at home here? I don’t know, I connect to the waves, and just thinking about those fish it just really connects me to my true home, and I wonder what it’s like,” and just like fully being in that presence in that Lemuria, instead my mind decided to intellectualize it and remove me from the moment. We do this all time.

So why laughter is the language of the heart is because there can be no mind when there is laughter. You know, when you’re laughing, you’re not thinking about what’s gonna happen next, you’re not intellectualizing, “Oh, well how many calories am I burning in this laugh?” You know, you’re just fully being in the moment. And it feels so good to laugh, it’s a trance, it’s a trancelike state, but we don’t do it enough.

You know, we think laughter is just like listening to a comedy show or something, and yes, that can provide you with laughter, and I love comedy shows, and I like comedy movies too. But that’s a really different type of laughter. You know, the laughter when Amy Schumer does like a funny dance, it’s like, “Oh ho ho, oh Amy,” you know. But it’s not like when your best friend just did it in public, like that’s a like ROFL laugh. If you don’t know what ROFL is, it’s “roll on the floor laughing” FYI.

But that’s a different kind of laughter like when your friend just like did something silly or tripped, it’s like, “Oh my god, like that actually just happened in real life,” and we don’t have that enough. You know, when we were kids growing up we spent so much time with our friends, with our peers, other students that we’re always laughing about things and it was just like deep like hysteric laughter. Like do you guys ever remember being in a classroom and like you and your friend had like some sort of inside joke and you look at each other, and you couldn’t stop laughing. And the teacher’s like, “Stop laughing, guys.” And the more they told you to stop laughing further just like took you into that laughing fit.

Like there are so many times like I’d be like sent outside of the classroom cause I just straight up couldn’t stop laughing. That doesn’t happen anymore, you know, it’s so rare for that to happen, which is such a freaking tragedy, because it’s the best feeling on earth, you know. Why don’t we just laugh our asses off? We can, it’s free, it’s fun, everyone enjoys it, no one gets hurt, it doesn’t add calories to you, just laugh. So I want to have more ROFL moments in 2019, that is true connection to my highest self.

So if anyone ever wants to like laugh and make fun of things, and make fun of ourselves, like let’s do it. In fact, I had a moment like that on New Year’s Eve, my fiancé was like had some—his hair was sticking up like Alfalfa, and I was just like in such a like happy mood that I just let myself like laugh about it for like a solid five minutes, and he’s like, “What is so funny about this?” Because it’s almost like weird for someone to be laughing for that long anymore. Like now we’re like adult laugh. (mild laughter) It’s like this fake like I’m laughing to be polite to you right now, but I’m not actually laughing. But when someone’s like really, really laughing, you’re almost like, “Is something wrong with you? Like are you drunk or high?” It’s almost weird to be laughing that much. So I know, I’ve talked about laughter a lot, but it’s really freaking important, so please, let’s all laugh more; big lesson.

Number 17: nothing compares to in-person connections. You know, I’ve spent a lot of my life online and I love living online, I love sharing my life online, I love connecting to this podcast, and blogging, and Instagramming, all that stuff that it compares, but really nothing compares to those in-person connections. Because when you’re able to see someone heart-to-heart, eye-to-eye and like feel their energy, it’s a totally different experience, and it’s something that I realize I have really been depriving myself of. Because I was very just, you know, online, online business, work online, book launch online, and everything’s online.

That I wasn’t, you know, giving myself space to go to, you know, meet-ups, and in-person connections like how I used to when I first moved to L.A. I was really making an effort back then to like network with people, whatever, go on meetup.com. And I stopped doing that cause I was like, “Okay, whatever, I have a boyfriend, and I have a busy ass job, so I’m doing that,” which my job is writing and doing this. But it’s still was taking up all my time, and I wasn’t meeting with people in person anymore.

And just meeting with people in person is why were here, it’s why we’re humans. I mean we as humans, we’re not meant to live on our own, we were not meant to do everything on our own, we are not like, you know, freaking jellyfish that are totally cool on their own, they don’t need to ever hug anyone or even have a conversation, like they’re chill. But we as humans, we can’t live on our own. You know, when we’re born, you can’t just like let us fend for ourself, we’re not gonna like walk away. You know, humans require like at least 13, and in our society, 18 years of upbringing from another human, and not just one other human, a tribe of humans, to be okay, and it doesn’t stop there, we still need these in-person connections.

And I think a lot of us have faded the line of what is an in-person connection, what is a friendship, what is a social media relationship. And we think that us having some people that we comment on social media with regularly is the new replacement of a friendship. Guess what, it’s not. You know, you may be seeing what that person eats for breakfast every single day, you may know every quirk about their kid, you may know their deepest fears cause they’re posting it on their Instagram, but you don’t really know them, and it’s not the same as having an in-person connection.

So something I really want more of in 2019 is more tribe, local tribe, people who live around me who I could be like, “Hey, do you want to go for a walk? Do you want to go for a dance class? Do you want to silent disco on the beach? Do you want to garden?” Whatever it is and just like have that experience of being in someone’s company. You know, a lot of my friends are long distance, and I love those friends, and they’re always going to be my friends, but like sending voice notes back and forth has turned into friendship of 2019, and it shouldn’t be.

Because even in those voice notes back and forth it’s not even a freaking phone call where you’re actually able to pause, and listen, and respond. It’s just like a narration, “This is what’s happening in my life, let me tell you everything.” “Okay, let me tell you everything happening in my life,” and there’s no connection there. And I get it, we’re busy, and it’s hard to find times in our schedule that we can meet up with people at the same time, but we have to do it. We have to because that is how we can feel whole.

Some more in-person connections, hit me up, I’m definitely gonna be posting some silent discos in L.A., and doing more things to connect with people. I’ve been doing a lot of events and being able to talk to you guys in person. My book launch events in Miami and San Diego and New York and L.A., it was so incredible to meet hundreds of you guys, and to hear your stories, and to hear how this podcast affected you, and to see what you’re up to, and what you’re cultivating, and to you know, be humans together was so freaking rad and I’m so excited to do more of it.

Number 18: you will never stop evolving, and if you ever do, something is wrong. Now this is so important because we often think spiritual evolvement is this period of time. Like “Okay, I went through my spiritual evolvement, and like now I’m here, and now I’m good. Like this is the new me, like I drink ayahuasca now and this is me. Now I only wear white, now I practice yoga. Oh, I’m a vegan, a ketotarian vegan,” like you know, whatever it is that we say.

But guess what, that identity as an ayahuasca-drinking, ketotarian vegan that only wears white is temporary. And next year you may decide you’re gonna wear black, and fishnets, and get a lot of tattoos. And the year after that you want to dress like a geisha. And the year after that you only want to wear tribal prints. You personality is always going to evolve because that’s what a personality is, a personality is a reflection of the outside world. The personality is actually a fabrication, it’s not real, the soul is never changing, the soul is omnipresent, but the soul does not have a personality, the soul is the observer of the personality.

And I know I’m getting very Deepak Chopra on your asses, but I want to share this with you because we get so attached to our personalities thinking that this is who we are, and it’s not, it’s an experience in time. And that experience will change, as every experience will, as every relationship will, as every dynamic will, every like, dislike, interest, skill, these things will shift, they may become stronger, they may become weaker, they may go through ebbs and flows.

So we as humans will never stop evolving, and it’s so important to embrace this instead of fighting this, instead of saying, “Oh my god, I’ve gone backwards, I’ve changed,” or letting people say that, that’s oftentimes what happens. Other people are like, “You’ve changed.” It’s like, “Thank God I changed cause that would be really scary if I remained the same.” I mean imagine if I was who I was when I’m 12 years old, I would still pretty much just wear pink and listen to NSYNC forever, which I still do.

But we have to keep evolving, we have to, we’re on a moving planet, a moving planet that is moving forward. So if you’re standing still, not only are you standing still, but you’re actually moving backwards. Think of it as like that conveyer belt that I talk about. If you’re not moving forward, you’re getting pushed backwards. So we have to be taking strides towards the direction that we want to be moving in and then also accept that sometimes we’re gonna evolve in ways that we could have never expected.

You know, like you may never expect that you’re gonna go through a massive kundalini awakening and kundalini yoga’s gonna become a big part of your identity. Or maybe you’re gonna go to a twerk class and that’s gonna become a big part of your identity. Like you can’t expect those things, all you can do is listen to your intuition, and your intuition speaks to you in excitement and enjoy.

So listen to what feels exciting for you right now. Like what are the things you like to Google in your free time? Like I think that’s the best way to get to know yourself. If I just gave you a day to Google, what are you gonna look up, and that’s gonna tell you right there like I’m going straight for the nutrition stuff, I’m going straight for the personal development, I’m going straight for Pinterest fashion boards, I’m going into wedding planning. What is it that you would just be Pinteresting? What do you want to read a book about? And it doesn’t have to do with anything in the outside world except for what you want to learn for yourself.

So follow the excitement, that is how you are meant to be evolving. It’s never gonna feel like a drag to evolve. Evolvement sometimes is gonna feel some pain, there are some growing pains, there are some people you have to let go of, but it will always feel expansive, never feel contractive. Remaining the same will eventually feel contractive because it’s like you outgrow that shell. So if you just try to say, “Oh, I’m good here, I’m good here, I threw everything out, like I just want to stay right here, don’t let me move.” Guess what? That sweater’s gonna get really uncomfortable real fast. You gotta keep unraveling, unlayering, stripping yourself of your identity because that is how we evolve.

Number 19: when you embody success, you achieve success. So most of us we have it backwards, we think, “Okay, I’m going to do X, Y, Z things, and then I’m gonna be successful, and then I’m going to embody the success, I’m gonna have successful friends.” Whatever that version looks to you, that could be money, that could be having a book, that could be being friends with certain types of people, living in a certain place, whatever that version is to you.

It’s actually backwards. First, you must embody the success, you must be that abundant person, you must be that person that those types of people you seek friendship with would want to be friends with. You must be that generous person, that super star, whatever it is you’re seeking, first you must embody that. And then from that place of embodiment then you can achieve it.

So I noticed drastically this year things shifted and moved really faster for me was because I stopped doubting myself. I stopped saying like, “Oh my God, am I good enough? I mean that’s for sure still came up, don’t get me wrong, but I was able to embody the success so much more.” And that came form, you know, a track record, I think that that does come with it when you do things that you’re proud of, then you’re like, “Oh, I have some confidence from that,” and then it allows you to move forward.

I have this whole episode that I did this summer about how to become more confident, which I love. I actually re-listened to that one and I was like, “Damn girl, that’s some good advice.” But that is so important to see that to embody confidence, you have to be your truest self, and to be totally authentic, and to not be afraid of that.

So most of us, we are too shy, we’re minimizing ourselves, and we’re never going to be successful when we’re just like hidden, in the back corner, feeling like no one cares, no one wants to hear what we have to say. You’re never going to embody success from that place. You need to show up, you need to own it, and from that strong energy of leadership, even if you don’t even consider yourself a leader yet, but from carrying that energy, this is what allows you to achieve success.

So think about what do I want, you know, is it a certain job, a certain lifestyle, whatever it is, and how can I start embodying that today. If I was super abundant right now and I had millions of dollars in the bank, how would I be acting differently? How would my energy be different? How would the people I surround myself be different? What I would do, how I would spend my time, how would all these things be different? And to really take it seriously, not like, “Oh my god, I would just retire and do nothing.” Well, guess what, then the abundance won’t stay, you’ll lose it.

So what would you do to allow yourself to remain in that state, to not just be handed, you know, a lottery check and to lose it, but to allow in that state what are the habits of abundant people, what are the mannerisms, what are the characteristics, what do they have in common? And that’s confidence, self-worth, valuing themselves, showing up, not gossiping, not putting other people down, not being jealous, not having comparisonitis. That is what abundance, success, worthiness is all about.

So take a deep, honest look at yourself and see where am I still—where is my language, where is my language at, you know. Am I still putting people down because that’s just like how I’m used to bonding with people? You know, I realize that sometimes me and my brother would like send, you know, memes or whatever, and be like making fun of the person. I was like, “That’s so wrong.”

You know, even if it’s like a meme, I don’t want to be making fun of anyone because that’s not right, I don’t want to be like, “Oh, look at that guy.” Like that’s such a horrible ting, it’s coming from insecurity to be like, “Look, I’m better than this person, what a fool.” I don’t want to be operating from that, so I stopped doing that. And even that changed my vibration, so it’s the littlest things.

Like I have a podcast episode from earlier this year called “The Little Things That Are Altering Your Vibration,” and I think it’s like 28 or something. So many people have sent it to me and said it changed their lives, so I now it’s like 20-something. But I talk about how I realize that every day I was going through this alley to get home. And this was in my previous apartment, and I could have, you know, passed the alley, walked on that main street which is by the ocean, I could have walked into my apartment seeing the ocean, beautiful entrance. But instead, to save like three minutes I kept going through this alley that smells like piss, and there were a lot of homeless people, and I was always feeling really unsafe just walking through that alley because I wanted to save the three minutes of my time.

So every single time I made that decision to save time, I was actually lowering my vibration, I was actually putting myself in fear and disgust. So the littlest things you do like that, like choosing which road you’re going to take home makes the biggest difference in your subtle vibration.

Number 20: you are always being guided, the signs are everywhere. This is something I’ve fully stepped into this year when a personal tragedy happened in my life and I realized instantly when going through it that this was happening not to me, but for me, and that this was a great lesson, and that every time anything happens you’re being guided to something else, something that is better serving you.

And sometimes you experience pain, sometimes you made the wrong decision, and the universe essentially is pushing you in the right direction by blocking that thing off. So, for example, let’s say you know you were meant to become a health coach, and you love to help other people, and you know, you’re always that person who’s making everyone healthier, and making cool salads, whatever. But you have this really big fear that you’re not going to be able to make money, and you’re offered a high-paying job doing something else.

So you decide to take that job, and the first day of work, you know, things aren’t feeling right, and there’s this girl, she’s super mean to you, and your boss sucks, and you injure your ankle on the way to work, and you know, all these things feel like they’re going wrong. But this is a high-paying job, and this is what you’re meant—you’re supposed to do, you know, take the high-paying job. And things just get worse and worse and worse until finally, you have no choice but to quit.

In fact, you may even get fired and being fired may feel like the worst thing that ever happened to you. I mean you just lost your job how are you gonna pay for bills, like all of your money fears are now coming up. But this is the universe actually just cutting you off from what is not meant for you, it is protecting you. It is saying, nope, we’re not gonna let you go down this path, we’re gonna make it really, really hard for you to go down this path so you can find the strength and find the alignment to go down the right path.

So oftentimes tragedies breakdowns, those moments that you feel like, “Oh my god, like why is this happening to me,” is because it is exactly what needed to happen to you in order for you to look at things with a new perspective. And that could be being cheated on, that could be finding out your best friend was talking shit about you, that could be losing your job, whatever it is. But just know that the universe is benevolent, the universe wants the best for you, the universe is not out there to conspire and make things hard for you. We, as humans, make things hard for ourselves by not listening to our intuition.

So if we can totally accept that perspective that we are being guided, and that the signs are everywhere, and that if I followed the direction of excitement and expansion, I will always be guided to my north star, then things move into flow and things move into ease. And if you just say, “Well things are supposed to look like this, and I’m gonna choose what makes sense, what I’ve been told to do, what looks right on paper.”

And I’m not gonna listen to things being hard, things are always hard. Then guess what, you’re gonna find yourself in a situation that you have no choice but to surrender in. And sometimes it can get really bad because that’s exactly the lesson that your soul needed to finally shift gears. So, if we can become a little bit more sensitive to the signs, hear them a little bit sooner before they manifest into these big issues. That’s how we can always live in alignment. Again, it’s making those ultra, ultra shifts in that steering wheel before we crash on the side road.

We take a quick break from this episode so I can share with you an amazing opportunity. Are you interested in having a career focused on health and wellness? Well if so, then the universe is calling you to become a holistic health coach. I am offering this incredible deal, a discount of $1,500 off my alma mater, Institute for Integrative Nutrition, which is the world’s largest nutrition school with guest teachers such as Deepak Chopra, Kris Carr, Dr. Hyman, and Dr. Andrew Weil, and so many others. It is split between six months of health coaching programs, teaching you hundreds of nutritional theories, including Ayurveda, as well as six months of business coaching.

And, as an additional bonus, I am offering a webinar where I will teach you how to use social media to create a thriving career as a health coach. On top of that, I have created a private Facebook community just for the “Highest Self” podcast listeners who are becoming health coaches to connect with each other, meet up with each other, and support one another on this journey. So if you’re interested, send an email over to sahara, S-A-H-A-R-A-, @eatfeelfresh.com with subject “IIN.” Again, [email protected] with subject “IIN.”  And I will personally send you back the email that will allow you to get a $1,500 off discount, as well as my business coaching webinar, and the private Facebook group. I’m so excited for you to begin your journey as a health coach.

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Number 21: don’t take things so seriously. Yeah, with that, I want you to also not freak out selling your spirit guides, like “I’m conspiring.” The whole point of this life is to be enjoyed, and sometimes, especially in the spiritual world, personal development world, health, wellness world, we take things so god damn seriously.

And it’s really not, you know, yes, it’s so great to have dreams, and ambitions, and things that you want to do, and it’s amazing to persevere and to fulfill them. But guess what, you’re gonna die. Like if no one’s ever told you that before, I’m sorry to be the first person to tell you, but you’re gonna die, we’re all gonna die. This life is temporary, we cannot take things so seriously. It’s not the end of the world.

Let’s say it doesn’t work out, let’s say the person you believed was the love of your life left you, let’s say something happened that you feel like you’re never going to be able to get through the other side of. It doesn’t matter, because in the grandiose of things, this is just experience, this whole lifetime is just an experience. We are all part of this greater ocean and we are just waves, and eventually those waves are gonna crash on shore, and a new wave’s gonna come. And when we can accept this and we can realize how small we are, we’re able to enjoy life as it is.

You know, we think we’re like these massive giants living here and everything else is an ant. “We humans, we run shit.” Not really, we’re actually the ants. Even our earth is just an ant in the greater galaxy, in the greater universe. So when we can take that perspective realizing how small we are, you know, when you’re on an airplane and you look up, and you’re like, “Oh my god, all that drama’s down there on the ground, and we’re warm up here.”

Like that’s life, guys. You don’t have to be in anything. If there’s a friend group that there’s just constant commotion and drama in, like guess what, you don’t actually have to be around those people. Or with your colleagues and your work situation, like guess what, it actually doesn’t matter. If you want, you can never see them, like this is just a joke. It really is, like we were just put on here with these like goals and desires and ambitions and like source energy is up there is like, “Mm, I wonder what they’re gonna do next,” you know.

Like we can take that perspective and stop taking life so seriously life becomes so much more enjoyable. Like I don’t have the answers, I don’t actually know why we’re here, but I do know we’re not here to be stressed out all the time. That’s for sure we were not put on this planet, like “I’m gonna create humans so they can be stressed out all the time, and I’m gonna take them to this level of evolvement called anxiety where they suffer from constant FOMO of knowing what other people are doing and being mad that they are not a travel blogger, like that’s why I’m creating humans,” like that is not what happened.  You know, we are animals with a consciousness who are meant to enjoy, play, discover, be curious creatures and to not take this damn thing so seriously.

Number 22: create more content than you consume. I’ve been saying this, I’mma keep saying this cause it’s a lesson I learn every single year. When I realize I’m going down that Instagram Story rabbit hole, you know what I’m talking about, you watch one person’s story, ten minutes later you find yourself watching Aunt Alberta’s cousin’s neighbor’s story, you don’t even know why you’re following this person. Actually, you don’t even know who this person is, but you found out they have an Aunt Alberta. And you’re like, “Why am I watching what they’re eating for dinner?” We’ve all been there, you know, it’s a low in our life that we do like ten times a day.

So every time I catch myself going through those stories just going through that feed, like as if I’m like looking for something. I’m like I just need to score a little bit longer, I just need to see if there’s like one inspirational quote that’s gonna change the day. Oh no, it’s not, okay, let’s just move on now.”

Like that doesn’t happen, and I catch myself, I do this all the time. I do it in the morning, guys, it’s the worst. I wake up and I open up my Instagram, that’s something I still need to work on. But, I rationalize it for myself saying, “Well, I’m only following inspiring people,” so I’m pretty much just reading like what full moon it is at all times in like 20 different ways, and then like quotes about how I’m a soul. Like yes, it’s so much better that I’m following people like that, but I still catch myself scrolling until I’m like gonna find that one thing that like knocks my socks off, and like enter my day in the right state when, you know, that thing is you connecting to yourself.

So when I catch myself doing that, I remember create more content than you consume. What can I create right now? What can I put out myself of how I feel? And another big thing I did this year, I used to listen to lots of podcasts, every time I had a moment podcast, and now I really—I mean I don’t really listen to that many, and if I do, I’m very specific about what I’m listening to. I make sure it is something that is improving me, that is teaching me, that I’m relating to that makes me feel good.

And I don’t listen to just anything that’s like coming my way cause I feel like I should cause I feel like an awkward space in my life is like too much to be had, and that allows me to connect to my own voice. That allows me, for this podcast, to come through my own voice, not a rendition of like “Aunt Sue’s Spirituality for the Modern Day.” I just made that podcast up, but you know, like not being a reiteration of someone else, but being true to myself.

So I mean, you can keep listening to my podcast if you know what I’m saying, but you don’t have to. You know, maybe not every podcast is for you, maybe not every episode is for you. If you’re ever listening to my podcast and you don’t like the episode, you’re not jiving with the person, hey, guess what, you can hit next, you can stop listening, you can listen to music, you can listen to something else. I’m not here, this is not the podcast Nazi.

I am here to provide value when that value is being received. But if you feel like you’re not actually gaining value, it’s just a lot of words and a lot of information, and it’s not helping you connect deeper into yourself, then you know that it’s time for you to maybe sit in silence, maybe listen to some B2K, maybe do something else that helps you connect to yourself. Omarion is always the choice.

Number 23: you become the people you spend your time with, as well as the people that you listen to. So, this is major, and I’ve touched on this before, but really getting selective on not just the social media content you’re getting in, the people who are selling you emails and messages, but also like the people who are in your inner circle. You know, there are some people in your life that are taking more energy than they are giving you and it needs to be an exchange.

You know, there may be a period in someone’s life that they require a lot of support, they’re going through something, and you can totally be there for them. And there may be a period in your life that you need more support, but in the grander scheme of things it should kind of like equal out. But if you are just the life coach to all of your friends, guess what, that’s not actual friendship, that’s you being an unpaid coach.

And I realize I was doing this with a lot of people. I was like, “So, tell me all your deepest, darkest problems. Great. I’m so glad. I just listened to all your issues for three hours, I really think you should have that conversation with your dad. Oh yes, you should achieve your dreams.” And the thing is, I liked doing it, I liked coaching, so I thought that friendship was me to be of service of other people and help them go through their shit.

And I realized that that’s not what friendship is. I realized I should be a coach cause I’m really good at doing that, and I could get paid doing that, and create boundaries around doing it, and actually doing it in a way that’s going to be effective in those people’s lives. Because people are way more likely to take advice and to implement that advice from a coach that they’re paying because they’re having that energy exchange of a dollar value than to someone who’s a friend that you just talk their ass off for an hour, and then they’re like, “Hm, I feel so much better.” Why do they feel better? Cause they just unloaded for an hour, they could have been talking to, you know, a walkie talkie, or to a Furby, and they probably would have had that same result, you know.

So again, it comes from our own guilt feeling like we have to be there for other people, feeling like we’re only valuable when we’re fully listening. I see a lot of women doing this, I see like my mom, she like prides herself into like, “I’m always that friend that listens to everyone’s problems.” And I’m like, now I’ve learned that’s actually not what friendship is. That’s her feeling like she needs to be of service to everyone around her because she’s been taught that that’s what a woman is supposed to do, and a lot of us are like that, so that is not friendship.

So if the people around you are bringing you down, they are just offloading issues on you and not asking you how you’re doing, and not holding space for you, and not bringing fun to your life. You know, not every friend has to be your everything. You can have different friends for different things. You can have that friend that you just you have fun, like when you want to go out dancing, like that’s your friend. You know that friend when you want to like really dive in and go deep, that’s your friend. You know that friend when you want to do something that’s spiritual and witchy, like that’s your girl. You can have different friends for different things, but it should always be making you and that other person feel higher. Like you should lead the interaction feeling higher.

And if you’re realizing you’re leaving any kind of interaction feeling lower, like that person just left your house and you’re like… (hyperventilating) “Okay, she’s gone, oh my god.” You know, like I definitely had friends like that that if you feel better when they’re gone, then they should not even be there in the first place. And it takes a lot of guts to admit that to yourself, and even more guts to, you know, do whatever it is that you need to do to walk away from the friendship or set boundaries within the friendship, or to have that conversation, or to do the slow fade away, or whatever your move is, wherever it is depending on how strong the friendship is.

I mean if it’s like you just met and you’re catching the vibe that it’s not going your way, you can kind of just like stop making plans. But if it’s a really good friend and you’re realizing that like this is not gonna work, you can’t slow fade away on that, you have to have a conversation, and it’s a conversations I’ve had before with people, it’s really, really difficult to have. It feels like a break-up that there’s never been a rule made about before because at least a normal relationship break-up it’s like you get it, we’ve all been broken up with, like we can expect it. But a friendship break-up, it’s really murky territory, but it’s essential, both to you and to that other person.

And sometimes out of love for both people, you have to set that boundary, and you have to create space. And maybe in a different time in your life you’re going to be in each other’s lives, and it’s going to be in a different energy, but maybe right now if there’s someone in your mind right now you’re like, “Mm-hmm, Sahara’s talking about that person, I know that person,” like you know what to do, I don’t need to speak anymore.

Number 24: you can say no. For real, you can say no. “Hey, can you come over?” No. “Oh, can you help me with this?” No. “Oh, can you do this?” No. Like you can actually say no. Like that doesn’t make you a shitty person. I mean if you go, “No, no, no,” that might, but we have been programmed to say yes to every one. And again, it’s the guilt, this has been a major thing for me this year. I don’t have to say yes. Me saying no does not make me horrible, they’re not gonna like talk about me behind my back like, “Oh my god, she did not want to like collaborate with me on that project? She didn’t want to work with me on this? She didn’t want to have me on her podcast? Like she must be the worst person on earth.”

Like no, people get it, like people say no to you all the time, and you don’t like, you know, dream about how shitty they are at night. Like it’s a normal fact of life, like we can’t say yes to everything, so practice saying no. Like it could be something small like the person at Starbuck’s is like, “Would you like a large?” You’re like, “No.” Or someone can ask you for something, you just practice.

Maybe like you and your friend can like have a little practice of like, “Let’s ask each other for things,” and just practice saying no. It may feel really silly at first, but even the littlest no gives you strength for the bigger nos. And most of us are saying major yeses to major things that are nos like careers, and relationships, living situations, things that really are nos in our hearts but we’re still saying yes. And maybe it’s not even saying a yes with our words, but it’s saying yes with our actions, saying yes with us keep showing up and not taking the initiative to make the change. Guess what, if you’re not saying anything, and you’re acting like everything’s okay, you’re essentially saying, “Yes, this works for me, this serves me,” and you’re never going to get what you want, so practice saying no.

Number 25: you can say yes. Mm, confusing, right? Is it a no or is it a yes? Well guess what? It can be both. Because the more you say no, you’re creating the space to say yes. If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no, know what I’m saying? So when you say no you create the space that you need to really step into what you really want to say yes to. So that could look like, for example, I’m not going to be on other people’s podcasts for two months. I actually did that in December and this month in January, I’m not really being on other people’s podcasts because I want to say yes to me learning how to DJ.

That’s actually what I really want to do, I want to learn how to DJ, I want to make conscious music. I don’t know if that’s what I’m gonna do with my life, but it’s feeling really exciting for me. So I bought DJ equipment, I’ve been on YouTube learning, I made my first song with my friend The Cosmic Quest, and I’m really excited for that to be launched at the end of the month. And I’m stepping into this music space, which is something I have wanted to do for like ten years, but I never felt like I had the time or space to do it. I was like, “Oh my God, like no one’s going to take me seriously if I’m a DJ. Like I can’t, I have to focus on writing my book, and this.” I had other things that were a priority to me, which is fine, everything happens in its due time.

But I realize like I still really want to learn how to DJ and it’s not going to like implant itself in my head overnight, I have to take action and set boundaries to do it. So what that looks like is I’m not going to be on a bunch of different podcast and using all my energy into like re-explaining what Ayurveda is for the 10,000 time. You know, instead I’m going to look up cool mixes, and learn how to like combine them together in a track, and use this different part of my brain that I never get to use before because I’m so used to doing my work. So me saying no allowed me to say yes to being a conscious DJ, so stay tuned for that, DJ Sahara in the house.

Number 26: ooh, this is a realization I had two days ago. So I was in this little like, you know, conversation with my fiancé and he said like something I had done had like, you know, not jived with him well. And I went straight into my like getting defensive about it and taking it personally and like, you know, when someone says something they don’t like about you, you’re like, “No…,” and like you’re trying to defend yourself mentally in your head to like no one. You know, that doesn’t happen to you guys, too?

And I was at my exercise class and I was like about to go in, and then I just asked myself, I’m like, “Is this the emotion I want to hang out in?” Let me repeat that. “Is this the emotion I want to hang out in?” And just that simple question, I was like, “No, I don’t want to hang out here. This emotion feels heavy, it feels resentful, it feels anxious, it feels defensive, I feel like I’m in fight or flight, and I’m not actually even having a conversation with anyone, it’s all in my head.” I don’t want to spend the next hour of this workout class going over ways why I’m right and things that I’m going to say back to him when I get back home.

Like I actually really don’t want to spend this hour doing that. This is so not the emotion I want to hang out in. And I’m going, “What emotion do I want to hang out in?” I want to hang out in fun, I want to hang out in joy, I want to hang out in presence, I want to hang out in peace, I want to hang out in comfort. Like that’s actually where I want to be. So it’s just having that acknowledgement of where I was and where I wanted to be, I’m like, “Okay, well I’m not actually doing anything important right now by having this conversation in my head, so why don’t I shift this emotion to I’m going to have a lot of fun and I’m going to focus on my breath during this workout class and then the conversation will happen after.

So I did that, and the moment that I would hear myself like thinking of the response I’m going to say to him in my head, I would be like, “Come back to your breath, come back to the present, have fun, listen to the music, isn’t this good music right now, whoo, good music.” Like I was kind of being my own wing woman right there, and it was working. And guess what? I came home and my fiancé’s like, “Let’s go on a hike,” and that was actually what I was mad at him about, that he never wants to go hiking with me and doesn’t want to do like fun activities and stuff. He’s like more just wants to stay home, and that’s what I was getting really upset about.

So me changing my vibration around it and being like, “You know what, I’m not going to worry about it right now, I’m just going to enjoy myself, I’m just going to be present, and I’ll have the conversation with him and fully be present when I’m having it instead of going through this shitstorm in my brain” actually made the situation disappear. And then we spent New Year’s day going on an epic hike, and now he’s all about hiking. And the situation literally resolved itself without me doing anything. All energetic from me asking myself, “Is this the emotion I want to hang out?” I’m going to make a little like quote about it and post it on my Instagram, iamsahararose, so you can screenshot it, you can set it as your background, it is like the life-changing quote.

Number 27: now this is another realization/quote I just came up with after—right before this episode when I was going for the walk, and I was on the beach, and you know, I’m looking at the beach, I’ve walked on this beach like a bajillion times, I’ve lived here for three years, but I’ just looking at the mountains, and I was remember how I had just gone hiking there a couple days. I was looking at the mountains and I’m like, “Hm, I wonder which mountain it was that we were hiking.” And I’m like, “Well, it must have been one of those really short ones cause there’s no way we hiked up that big one.”

But then I saw there were like houses on those short ones, and I was like, “Wait, does that mean we climb to the top of that big one?” And I realized that when we had gone to the peak we were actually at the highest point, there was no higher point than that. And I just realized that sometimes you don’t realize how high the mountains you’ve climbed on are. Let me repeat that: sometimes you don’t realize how high the mountains you’ve climbed on are.

And you can see this as in so many different perspectives, but we don’t give ourselves credit for what we’ve achieved. You know, we don’t give ourselves credit for that mountain that you’ve really climbed over, you’ve triumphed. And you’re like, “Oh, that was nothing.” And it’s a physical mountain of me not even realizing I’ve climbed a million times to the top of that big giant mountain that I’m looking over. And even the smaller things, like the mountains you climb on a daily basis, you know, the childcare that you provide your kids, the studies you do in college, the way that you show up at work for your colleagues, for your friends, for your family. These are incredible achievements that we don’t give ourselves enough credit for.

We don’t realize that we’re already doing so much. We don’t celebrate our wins nearly enough. So this year I really want to take time to celebrate, take time to notice like yes, I made it to the summit, I made it to the top of this mountain, and there are more mountains, and there are taller mountains for sure, but I’m really going to acknowledge that I climbed this one. And I think all of us really need to do that to step into our own worth and step into how much we do, how much we create, and this is something that the masculine doesn’t have as big of an issue with, but the feminine sure does.

We’re like, “Oh yeah, you know, I haven’t done anything in my life, I just raised like three kids.” That is massive. We don’t give ourselves credit because we think these are just things that you just do. We’re like, “Well, I’ve never written a book, I’ve never starred in an Academy Award movie.” Like it doesn’t matter because there’s so much that you’re doing. You have climbed so many mountains far and wide and it’s time to give yourself some credit for all that you’ve done. And when you give yourself credit, you gain the confidence to climb more. So keep climbing, it’s Capricorn season, I’m telling y’all to climb.

And number 28, the final lesson of my 28th year, one I also just thought of right now on the beach: remember to remember. We can look at this in, again, a lot of different ways, but what this really means is that we often don’t even remember to have these moments of pause, of reflection, of looking back, of looking forward. We’re so busy on this spiral of life that you do one thing, and you go to the next, and you go to the next, and it’s just like boom, boom, boom like you’re on bumper cars. But we need to remember that that sacred pause, that space, that little pause between the inhale and the exhale. It’s only going to show up if we actively create the space for it.

You know, oftentimes we go to the ocean, we go to the mountains, we go to a beautiful place and we find ourselves still in those old thoughts. How many of you have like been on a vacation, you’re somewhere beautiful, somewhere that you’ve been dreaming about going for months. You’ve saved up your money to be there, you’re finally there, and you’re still thinking about all the stuff that you were thinking about at home.

And this is why travel on its own is not what’s going to change our mindset. It’s time for us to travel deeper internally into our consciousness. And to remember to remember whether you’re in Tulum, or whether you’re in Egypt, or whether you’re in your living room. To just remember to honor yourself, remember to connect to your truth, remember that you are a soul having a human experience. And yes, this life is full and beautiful and messy and fun and crazy and all of the above, but really who we are is the witnesser of all of these emotions, and all of these experiences, and the spectrum that we call life.  So remember to remember whatever it is that you seek to remember.

I hope you guys enjoyed this two-part episode series. I would love to know which lessons really responded well with you, what are the lessons that you’re still learning, and if you have any lessons that you have maybe you can record your own podcast episode. You can do my rock the podcast when it’s out and record your own episode with your lessons. Maybe you can journal write now and write, you know, the number of lessons of your number of years and share with me what stuck out with you, what are the lessons that you’ve also learned this year, what is it that you’re still working on.

So please, let me know on the iTunes review store, I read every single review, it really helps me out. It’s a beautiful way of offering a token of gratitude for this free podcast that you can just share some words, some love, and let me know what your favorite lesson was. And as a favor for writing this beautiful review I will send you back my unreleased book, “Eat Right For Your Mind Body Type,” this book is now part of my “Eat Right For Your Mind Body Type” 12-week program, which you can also get on my website, or you can take my quiz, and it leads you into that. But this book is unreleased, it’s different than my book “Idiot’s Guide to Ayurveda,” it’s different than “Eat Feel Fresh,” it’s really about my modern approach to Ayurveda. So I’m gifting the first half free for all of you who leave a review on the iTunes store. I hope you loved this episode and I’ll see you on the next one. Namaste.