I had this thought. When everything is going great in life.. why do we find that cloud in the sky?
This is one of those episodes where I’m just speaking straight from the heart, as a dear sister on this journey, dealing with the exact same struggles you are. Here’s what helps me stay in a good mood.
Intro + Outro Music: Silent Ganges by Maneesh de Moor
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Episode 120 – How To Stay in a Good Mood with Sahara Rose
By Sahara Rose
Namaste. It’s Sahara Rose, and welcome back to the “Highest Self” podcast. A place where we discuss what makes you your soul’s highest evolvement. I’m stoked to announce that my book, “Eat Feel Fresh: A Plant-based Ayurvedic cookbook,” now available for pre-order on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Target, Wal-Mart, wherever books are sold. This is my book baby. I went to India to shoot all of the photography, it is alkaline, it is refreshing, it is global.
I believe that Ayurveda takes many shapes and forms because it is a living science, and it’s time for Ayurveda to open its doors to different countries’ ways of eating, different ingredients, and of course making it plant-based so many vegans out there who have wanted to practice Ayurveda but have shied away because of the amount of ghee, and dairy can now experience Ayurveda.
So I’m so excited for “Eat Feel Fresh” to be out, you can order it, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, wherever books are sold, and I will have some pre-order bonuses, including signed bookplates, bookmarks, webinars, all sorts of stuff. So stay tuned for that, all you have to do is show me your receipt, and I will be sharing with you all the bonuses I have in store for you.
I was just driving home from this event that I just did, and as I’m driving home, everything is going great in my life right now. You know, I just got engaged, I have my book coming out, I have great friends. So many things that I have been working on for so long have come to fruition. Like I’m at one of those places where like life is good. But on the drive back I’m like, “Okay, well, what should I work on next when I go home? What am I gonna do? What am I gonna podcast about? What am I gonna talk about? What are the e-mails I need to respond to?”
And I just start going to all of these things. And I realized how much the trained human condition, not the innate human condition, but the trained human condition, is to automatically divert the feeling of everything going well. And a lot of us, you know, when things are just lining up in our lives, and really there’s nothing to complain about, that just triggers something in us. And then we look for that one thing to complain about. You know, we all have that thing that every time things are going well you know if you think about that thing you’re gonna go into a bad move. And it could be like a life-long thing, it could be like a right now thing, but you just automatically say, “Huh, life is good. Well there’s still blah blah blah blah blah.” And then you go there, even though you so didn’t need to, and it wasn’t even on your mind before, but it just came on your mind to sabotage really you just feeling good.
So I wanted to just invite the discussion of allowing ourselves to just be in spaces of happiness and contentment. You know, even the word happy has been so just misconstrued. We always say, “Well, are you happy? What’s happy?” You know, happiness can be so many range of emotions. You know, what true happiness is, does true happiness even exist? You know, there’s feelings of joy, there’s feelings of contentment, but to be happy, I mean I think all of us truly actually are happy. We may create reasons for us to step away from our happiness, but really as human beings born on this plane, listening to this podcast, living this incredible human experience at this time, like there’s a lot to be happy about.
Like we are winning, guys. We have food to eat, we are born in countries that are free, we have access to so much information available to us, we’re able to work remotely, travel the world, go on planes. Like there’s so much incredible stuff going on in 2018, so much to be overjoyed about, and we choose to not sit in that.
So I wanted to ask why, and again, I haven’t thought about the answer. I mean I just kind of had this idea and just got on a podcast, buy why do we choose to sabotage our moments of contentment? And I like to say contentment because it’s not, you know, we construe happiness as feelings of pure bliss and joy, which definitely are a part of being happy. But I don’t think to be happy means every single day you need to be like feeling like you’re at a music festival. Like happiness can be just like driving home, and like everything’s good. It could be, you know, you’re taking out the dishes from the dishwasher, and you just you don’t really have anything you need to think about. You can just kind of listen to the music and just be.
You know, these are feelings of happiness, guys, and we experience them all the time, but we don’t recognize them as happiness because we believe happiness has to be this over the top, elated, joyous moment, you know. But those moments wouldn’t be joyous if we were experiencing them 24 hours a day. The only reason why going to a music festival, riding on a rollercoaster, getting proposed to, the only reason why these moments are so hyper joyous is because they are one in a lifetime or once in a long while events.
But happiness, or really contentment, is just to know that you’re okay and to know that you’re on the path. And you know, that you’ve done a lot of work, and you have things way more figured out than you give yourself the credit for. And of course, there’s always going to be more to do, there’s always going to be more money to make, more books to read, more countries to visit, more friends to make, always will be more. But if you constantly fix your happiness on this fishing pole that you’re holding the bottom of, and it’s like floating in front of you, and you’re never gonna quite get there, then you’re going to spend your whole life in this state of searching and never embodying.
And it’s interesting because right now I’ve been looking at different meditation practices because it’s something that, as I’ve spoken on the podcast, I don’t really do much seated meditations. For me, meditation is much more in my yoga practice, and Pilates, and stretching, and dancing, or playing with my dog. Like I’m not really a seated meditation person. And I was like, “Okay, well I really need to visit that.” You know, there’s obviously something there, I should sit, so I’ve been going to transcendental meditation, vedic meditation, Buddhist meditation just to learn about them.
And one thing with the Buddhist meditation that they were saying that I just really can’t wrap my head around is that the human experience is one of suffering.And that as humans, we suffer, and the reason why we meditate is to get out of this state of suffering. In my belief, I don’t subscribe to that story. I don’t believe the human state is suffering. I don’t believe I need to chant “nam myoho renge kyo” just so I can stop suffering. Because if I subscribe to that story then that’s what’s gonna be what shows up for me, everything’s going to be suffering, and I’m going to run away from these moments of joy either by one: sabotaging myself through harsh or negative thoughts, or thinking like I need to chant a mantra and my own thoughts are so dangerous that if I step into my thoughts I’m going to be whisked away by my negativity.
And that was the thing that with the mantra-based meditations I know there’s a lot of benefits, and a lot of science. And I’m still going to try it, but really, why don’t we address why our thoughts are constantly going to a negative spiral instead of just trying to suppress the thoughts. Because I feel like if every time a negative thought comes and then you’re just saying, “ram ram ram ram, nam myoho renge kyo,” whatever your mantra is, you’re not actually getting to the root of why does my brain keep wanting to go there?
So the root of why does my brain keep wanting to go to negative thoughts, well the reason why is because the brain, the ego, the mind, the mental self wants to be needed, it wants to be remembered really, it doesn’t want to feel irrelevant. So when you go to these feelings of contentment, contentment really means to not need anything outside of you. So when you slip into these feelings of contentment, like I’m actually just good right now, then the mind, the ego self, the mental kosha says, “Oh, oh my god, I’m gonna lose it. Let’s think about this really annoying person. Let’s think about this laundry list of things I have to do. Let’s think about my ex and how he cheated on me. Let’s think about all of these horrible things that happened to me, that’s a surefire way to get you off your contentment cloud.”
And then like that, the brain is running the stage again, and then we start spiraling into that thing. And you know, we all have those go-to triggers. And our minds know that, so it’s like okay, let me just throw that at you. So what do we do? How do we get out of that? One: realize that any situation, the only thing that could ever bother you, the only thing that could be negative about it is your perception of it.
So I’ll give an example, let’s say you are fighting with a friend, or you don’t want to be friends with someone. And oh my god, they keep annoying me, they keep on saying the wrong things, they’re getting under my nerves every time I’m around them, I’m just so pissed off. The friend is just so annoying to you. Well really the friend is just being them, they’re just saying the things that they probably have always been saying, but your perception has shifted. Maybe your vibration has differed from theirs. Not that yours is higher and theirs is lower because I don’t like to do the spiritual judgment latter thing, but you’re at a different vibration. You’re at a different stage of life. You’ve gone on one path and they’ve gone on another. Maybe they’re going through something, maybe you’re going through something. There’s so many things that could make two people no longer see eye-to-eye.
So really it is that you’ve changed and you changing makes that person’s same old patterns not aggravate you. So you take it on that person and you think it’s them, them talking too much, them repeating themselves, whatever it is. But really it’s the fact that before maybe you were denial of it annoying you, or maybe you’ve reached this point where you can no longer handle those types of people anymore.
So it needs to be addressed, and that’s just one example in friendships. Whatever it is that keeps bothering you—I hate my job, is my boyfriend cheating on me—whatever it is, that needs to be addressed, you know. Instead of mantra-ing away every time you think about how much you don’t want to go to work tomorrow, why don’t you start looking for ways to get out of that job? Why don’t you instead of doing that mantra sit with yourself and ask yourself what do I want? What would an ideal day look like for me? What are the things that I’m curious about right now? What path would I want to follow, even if I don’t know the end goal, where are the breadcrumbs leading me to?
Instead of saying, “Oh my god, is my boyfriend cheating on me? I need to go to this healer. Oh my god, I need to go to this psychic, is he cheating one me? Who has information?” Why don’t you ask yourself, “Why don’t I think I’m valuable and worthy enough to be with someone who doesn’t cheat on me?” You know, because if you’re with someone and that’s even an issue, the issue has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you questioning yourself of why you’re still in that relationship.
So these things that our minds float to in these moments of contentment to get us off our high horse really are just reminders of ongoing issues that we need to address. So if there’s something that’s been a multiple year-long thing that keeps on poking you on the shoulder every time you’re feeling good, that’s the universe nudging you. And as I always say on the podcast, it starts with a little tap, tap, tap, and then it turns into a push, and then it turns into a punch, and then it turns into an accident.
So we want to observe, okay, my mind keeps going to this thing, so instead of meditating it away, I’m going to go deeper into it. I’m not going to run away from it. I’m going to say, “Okay, these are my two options. I either stay in this relationship and we have to work things out, or I leave. I either bow down out of this friendship with love and respect to both parties, or I sit down and have a talk with this person. I either go in tomorrow and give my two weeks notice and do everything I can to go back to school or get another job, or start my project off the ground. Or I stop thinking about it.”
And you know, you don’t always have to choose the growth; you don’t. Spiritual growth is a choice, guys, and not everyone is on this path, I’m gonna be real with you. You’re gonna encounter people in your life who have opportunities to grow ad they choose not to. Because for them, to sit in the comfort of their negativity is preferable for them to move into the uncertainty of potential pleasure. Imagine the things that agitate you, and piss you off, and rub you the wrong way, and all of those things are entrenched in this couch that you have been immersed, and just need to give into like your whole life. This is like your La-Z Boy couch, and it’s comfortable, but it itches, and it’s kind of uncomfortable at the same time, but you don’t really know anything else.
Or you can get up, make a new chair, maybe it’s gonna be the best chair ever, but it’s gonna require work. Are you going to get up there and make that chair, find that chair, find another place to sit in the room, or are you going to sit in that couch of all of the things that aggravate you? And I believe that you, if you were listening to this podcast, you are on a growth journey. There is a part of you that wants to improve yourself, and get to know yourself better and expand. Otherwise you would not be listening to me or have any interest, or look up something called “Highest Self” podcast.
So you are all on growth journeys, and that’s something that your soul really signed up for before incarnating here on this planet. But we have to as conscious human beings, because we are still in human form on this physical plane, we have to know that not everyone chose this path. And there are going to be some people who are really, really comfortable in their victimhood. And there are going to be some people who are going to rip your ear off repeating the same exact story over and over and over again, and you’re gonna realize five years later hearing the same story that they’ve chosen to stick in that story because that’s what’s comfortable for them.
So there are people who are like that, and that’s their decision, but it is your decision as well if you choose to spend time with them. And for a lot of us, we again, we see ourselves as these light conscious beings to have to be available for everyone all the time. And you’ll see guys, you’re going to get to a place o your spiritual journey that people are coming to you. And I’m sure they probably are, they’re coming to you with their problems, they need this, they need that, and while it’s incredible to help people, and it’s a massive reason why we’re all here on this planet. No, if you help that person ten times and they haven’t implemented a single thing you’ve said, that person doesn’t want to be helped.
They may want the attention of you listening to them, they may like to repeat the story over and over again, but if you’re saying, “Listen, you got to leave the cheating boyfriend, you deserve better, you got to leave the cheating boyfriend,” they keep getting back together with the cheating boyfriend. You can say it in the most romantic, Shakespearean sonnet way, you can rap it, you can write it in a journal, you can chant it in Spanish, they’re still not going to implement it because change and growth is an inside job.
So a lot of times our aggravances are things that stress us out have to do with other people. I mean if we all just lived in, you know, houses by ourselves without human interaction, we would at first drive ourselves crazy, but we would actually get into a state of peace because there would be no human interaction, and we would just eventually find samadhi, which is like an inner state of peace within. Though unless you’re on a monk path, that’s not what most of us are here for.
Most of us are here on the householder path, which is a path of being in society, perhaps having a partner, perhaps having kids, but living in a house, that’s the householder path. And as a householder, you know, we interact with people, and we take on energies of people, and we have conversations with people, we repeat them in our mind, and that’s when we have to get smarter, we have to become choosier with our time and energy, we have to help those who want to be helped. And if you see someone is grasping on to every word you say, and saying, “I did everything you said, and more, and I feel so much better.” Like those are the people, run to help them, open your hearts to them, do everything you can to lift those people up because they’re going to lift up others.
But if it’s the same situation over and over again, and guys, this isn’t just about other people, a lot of us, we are repeating the same situation over and over again. Maybe we are a friend to someone who’s like, “Oh my god, that Sahara, all she talks about is how much she hates her job, it’s so annoying. I’ve told her to quit her job so many times, but she won’t listen to me,” you know. Some of us, all of us, have been that person at a certain point in our lives, but we have to recognize that, and you’ll see that the only times in your life that you’ve changed, that you’ve had a massive growth is when it came from inside of yourself. Yes, you can read books, you can read quotes, you can listen to podcasts, but these are all just nudges because we, we subconsciously find the books and podcasts and teachers that just tell us what we’ve been telling ourselves all along.
So if you’re listening to this, I don’t want you to burst your contentment bubble. I want you to allow yourself to experience moments of just saying like everything’s okay, and I don’t need to now think of this other thing, start this other business, begin this other project, have another baby, move to a bigger house cause that list is going to never end. Just sit in the moments of like yes, look at me now, like sit in those moments of just like you’ve gotten so far, look at where you were last year, look at where you were two years ago, look at where you were five years ago. Like for real, where were you five years ago in 2013? It’s like really, just think about who you were in 2013 right now. Who were you ten years ago in 2008? It’s like straight up another human.
So we’re growing, you know, whether we choose to or not. The fact that we signed up for this planet that’s always moving, and spinning, and floating in space, I mean we’re all growing so let’s celebrate the moments that everything’s just okay. And the thing is, those moments are a choice. I don’t think it comes to a place where everything is perfect. Because again, it’s also part of the human experience to want to climb another mountain, and climb another ladder, and that’s beautiful, and that’s what makes us, you know, create empires, and build airplanes, and do all of these things.
So I’m not saying to give that up either, but instead of going to your go-to, self-sabotaged thing that gets you off your contentment cloud, just address that thing. Go into what that is, not every time. If you fully go into that thing once and you see, okay, this is the decision I have to make, am I going to make it or not? Am I going to turn left or right? What am I going to do in this? And then you act upon that, that cloud like burst, and it no longer comes into your consciousness.
So make the decision, take action so you don’t have to worry about it later on. And do this with everything that keeps on coming up in the moments of contentment. Go fully into them and make the decision: am I gonna ask on this or am I going to really stop thinking about it? Those are my two choices, and for most of us listening, it’s I’m gonna act on it. Because there’s a lot more you can act on and you have in your power then you believe.
So wherever you are, if you’re in the car, if you’re at work, I just want you after this podcast to just not listen to something for five minutes and just put your hands on your heart and just think about how grateful you are for all that you have, for this life that you’ve created, for these relationships around you—whether they’re romantic, or friendship, or work relationships. For the amount of growth you have done. For all of the situations that would have once bothered you that are dirt under your feet now.For all of the hardships, and happy times, and boring times, and all of these things that have brought on you to this present moment. And realizing that everything is perfect as it is.
And sinking into that perfection in no way takes away from you achieving more. Because a lot of times—and I used to do this too—I wouldn’t want to say everything is going perfect because there was always more I wanted to do. But you sinking into contentment does not put a stop on life. They’re not like, “Okay, Sahara’s good so let’s just stop sending good things to her because she seems to be okay.” No, it amplifies it. You being grateful for all that you have just makes the universe send more to you.
Do you want to know the key of happiness? And this has been studied immensely. The happiest people are the ones who are the most grateful. So when you’re sitting in that contentment cloud, and the bad thought comes, think about all it is that you are grateful for, all that is going well for you right now. And naturally, that cloud will disappear. And when it’s the time and place, sit into it, make the decision, act on it so you can move on. And you can climb the next ladder, the next bubble, the next burst, and keep blossoming into another season, another phase, another chapter and not stay stuck on the same cycle, the same lesson, the same problem showing up in different forms.
And just let yourself be happy, allow yourself to have fun. Do something that just makes you feel joyous. Why are we here, why are we doing this dharma stuff, why are talking about spirituality, why does any of this matter? So we can experience all that is meant to be experienced on this human plane. So we can live it all and go back up there knowing that we fully knew what it was like to embody the human form.
So don’t deny yourself from the subtleties, from the fun, from the contentment, from the anger, from the loneliness. Don’t deny yourself from anything because nothing is good, nothing is bad, all just is, and emotions are just spectrums that come and go. And when we observe them as these things that we experienced that allows us in turn to then take control. Because then when we sit into the anger, we realize that anger is a choice as much as happiness is a choice, and you can choose at any moment how you want to feel, and I hope you choose contentment.
If you loved this episode, I would be so honored to send you a free first half of my unreleased book, “Eat Right For Your Mind Body Type” as a free gift for leaving a review for this podcast. Really helps share this podcast with more people, raise the vibration of this planet. So all you gotta do is head to the iTunes store, write a review for this podcast—a nice one—and send a screenshot, and e-mail it over to me at sahara, S-A-H-A-R-A, @eatfeelfresh.com.
I also want to announce that my upcoming book, “Eat Feel Fresh: A Plant-based Ayurvedic Cookbook,” is coming out October 2nd, and it’s now available for pre-sale on Amazon, Barnes &Noble, wherever books are sold. And I have some pre-sale bonuses such as signed book tags, bonus recipes, and so much more. So when you order your copy just save your review and you’ll be able to upload it on my website and you’ll get your free bonuses heading your way. Thank you so much for listening, for being here, and for shining your beautiful sunflower-like light. Namaste.
Episode 120 – How To Stay in a Good Mood with Sahara Rose