Confidence is key, but how do we get it? There is so much talk about why confidence is important but the real way to get it is to be in alignment with this..

In this episode I discuss:

· What confidence really means

· How to exude confidence

· The factors behind confidence

· How to radiate magnetic success

My Doshas + Dharma Program is designed to help you get to the root of what it is you are good at (which is part of your Dosha), that you enjoy (also part of your Dosha), that creates abundance (which is necessary to do it full-time) and the world needs (because we always must give back.)

Learn more about my program at : eatfeelfresh.lpages.co/doshas-dharma-program/

We begin on May 28 and I’m happy to answer any questions you have: [email protected]

Let’s take the discussion further in the Mind-Body Balancers FB group: www.facebook.com/groups/1213662491998309/

Discover Your Dosha (Mind-Body Type) with my free quiz: eatfeelfresh.com/new-quiz

Intro + Outro Music: Silent Ganges by Maneesh de Moor

 

Transcription

Episode 076 – How to Be More Confident With Sahara Rose

By Sahara Rose

Namaste. It’s Sahara Rose, and welcome back to the “Highest Self” podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you your soul’s highest evolvement. Before we get started with this week’s episode, I am so excited to announce to you my new offering: the “Doshas and Dharma” program is back. It is all about how you can discover your purpose and make an impact in a four-week immersive experience that is totally online so you can be anywhere in the world coaching with me and other phenomenal people in a group coaching setting through the power of the internet.

So this is for you if you know that something else is out there, and that it is possible to make a living doing what you love. But you just don’t know what that thing is, and you’re a little bit confused on which path to turn, and what you’re really good at, and how you can make money doing it, and you need the support of a coach and community to help you see the other side.

And I get it, because I’ve been there. Lost, confused, not trusting myself, and even the last year drastically changing my life around from blogger to best-selling author, and really making my dreams, my goals, and my visions, and my reality. And I created this “Doshas and Dharma” program to show you that the doshic constitution that you have, the gifts that you are born with, is exactly related to your dharma, your life purpose.

And when you’re stepping up to that purpose, that’s how you can serve the world and help more people. So if you’re interested, head over to my website: iamsahararose. I am taking applicants now, every week there’s going to be a video, a live call with me, plus a group coaching program with your “Doshas and Dharma” coach in small group coaching setting. So you’re going to get all of that as part of the program. I have the syllabus, more information, everything on my website. It’s also on the show notes, so head over there, we’re getting started the beginning of May.

So I left a little bit of time because I want you to hear the call and either jump on it, or know that it’s not for you. But if you’re feeling the call, you want to work with me on a closer setting, and you want to be motivated, and inspired, and on the path, and you don’t want to waste anymore time. Because that’s what happens when we don’t sign up for programs, we don’t invest our money, we don’t invest our time and action. We end up just wasting our time, wasting our life, and not making as big of an impact as we can. So I’m so excited to introduce to you the “Doshas and Dharma” program.

In this episode, I want to discuss confidence. And confidence is truly the most important thing that we can have to really step into our highest selves and what we came here on this planet to complete. Confidence is that magic sauce that sets apart, you know, the good vegan burger with the bad vegan burger. It’s that juice, it’s that spunk, it’s that thing that makes the boring teacher different from the cool teacher, even when they’re teaching the exact same subject. It’s the glitter, the sparkles, the sugar on top, whatever you want to call it. It’s that thing that we need to take our message to a whole nother level.

And not just our message, but our business, our relationships, our family lives. Everything that we come across is reflected in our confidence levels. So what does that mean reflected, huh, confidence, how does that reflect? It reflects like this: the way you treat yourself is the way others will treat you. The way you think about yourself is the way others will think about you. So, you’re going to attract situations that reflect exactly the way that you show up on this world.

If you have the mindset that “I’m not ready, I need a Ph.D. for other people to take me seriously, I’m not a doctor so I can’t heal people, I’m not a psychologist so I can’t help people with their problems,” et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Then you’re going to continue to attract those people who carry that belief. You’re going to continue to attract the people who think you need a Ph.D. to open your fucking mouth. You’re going to attract the people who think you need an MBA to start a business, or whatever the degree is that you have a hold up over.But when you shift that belief– and I don’t mean superficially, I mean really, really shift that shit into you know what? I have so much knowledge, I have so much power, and I am ready to take action. That’s when you move forward.

So I see a lot of people, they’re saying, “How can I be more confident?” As if confidence is this thing that exists outside of us. Confidence is not another degree you can study for and get. Confidence is not something you can apply for and it’s handed to you in a rolled up sheet of paper. Confidence comes in being exactly who you are. I want to repeat that. Confidence comes in being exactly who you are.

So what does that mean? Let’s break that down a little. Let’s say I’m working this job, and my boss is like a little bit intimidating, and I really don’t feel like I’m ready, it’s a new job, I’m still getting the hang of things, and I mess up, and my boss freaks out at me, and that makes me even less confidence. So every time I’m around him I’m just so nervous that I just begin screwing up. And things that I normally can do totally fine when I’m alone when they’re around just their energy being there freaks me out so much that I can’t even perform the most basic tasks.

How many of us has this happened to? The only time I had a corporate job in an ad agency I was so scared of that boss because she was so mean that I like forgot how to copy sheets of paper. I was like trembling every time she came around. So I began to take on this persona whenever I was around her, and then eventually whenever I was just in that office of being incompetent, of being weak, of messing up.

So I started to shift away from who I am into this person I am not, and that’s what made me unconfident. So we’re only lacking in confidence when we’ve moved away from who we truly are. When you’re on stage and you’re trembling, and so afraid of saying the wrong thing, you’re not being you. Because when you’re sitting down having a conversation with your best friends, you’re not thinking about what you’re going to say next, and you’re not like going over lines in your head, your palms aren’t sweating, you’re just being yourself, and it flows out.

But then suddenly when there are a hundred people around you, and everyone’s looking at you, and they want to be entertained or educated, then you begin to take on this persona of this person that you believe you have to be to fit that role. “Oh god, I’m not funny enough for this. Oh my god, I didn’t remember enough statistics for this. Oh my god, what am I gonna say? I don’t remember paragraph three.”

If you’re even thinking in paragraphs and statistics and punch lines, you are already not being yourself. Because the world’s best speakers, the Tony Robbins of the world, the people who are giving the bed TED Talks, they’re not going by a script. Because you’ll realize, and now what I’ve been realizing in public speaking and doing this podcast is when you try to set a script, you’re automatically taking yourself out of who you are. And that’s when the nerves kick in because then it turns into an audition to play the role of who? Yourself.

And that’s when the palms get sweaty, and that’s when you say the wrong thing, and that’s when you look so fucking awkward on stage that people all decide to take their bathroom breaks at the same time when you’re talking. And then when that happens, you’re noticing the energy’s not there, people are shifting around the room, people are looking at their phones. Cause you notice as a speaker, then your confidence goes down even more. “Oh damn, I’m so bad at this. I didn’t say the right thing.” And then you get so in your head again, and you go further and further away from yourself. Or it’s the best thing you could do is say, “Ooh, guys, I just tried to go off of script, and I totally screwed it up. So from here on out, I’m just gonna be myself. Are you with me? cool.” Boom, energy f the room shifts because your energy shifts.

So confidence is being unapologetically who you are. Not fitting this mold of being the smartest, most successful person in the room. Confidence is an internal job. And confidence is not something that you can acquire in a certificate or anything else, but it comes from getting the job well done. Confidence is earned, my friends. When you do something right, you know, it could be the littlest thing. And you do a good job at it, you begin to say, “Huh, pretty good at this.” And then people around you say, “Huh, you are pretty good at this,” and then naturally, you become more and more confident.

So you’re not going to manifest confidence by repeating, “I am confident,” in the mirror a hundred times while staring in your left eye because it moves through your chakras better that way. That’s not how you get confident, guys. Confidence is doing the thing, and doing it damn well. And if you don’t know how to do it damn well, you just start doing it. And in the process of doing it, you learn this is what went well, and this is what didn’t. They liked this in this speech, they didn’t like this. This packaging worked well, that didn’t, et cetera.

You don’t just skyrocket out with confidence because that’s going to be false. You know, there’s a difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is being so secure in who you are that it radiates out and no one can break this shell of confidence because it’s not fragile, it’s like this watery, open womb where you allow criticism to even come in, but it doesn’t lower your self-worth. That’s confidence.

Arrogance is this really fragile eggshell where one criticism or one thing that hits you the wrong way breaks you the fuck down. That’s arrogance. And it’s false, it’s really easy to see through. It’s that bulldog, puffy, puffy shell. You know, it’s like the animal when it mates and it gets all puffy. But then when it comes down to it, it’s this soft little jelly bean. So that’s arrogance, and that can shift into narcissism, which I’ve spoken about in another podcast.

But confidence is very different from arrogance, and very different from narcissism. It’s saying, “This is who I am. This is what I do. I know I’m freaking good at it. I’d love to share it with you. If you don’t like it, I’d be open to hearing your criticism, but I’m not going around and asking you for it either. Because I’ve worked on it enough to know that this resonates and this works with people. So unless your criticism is coming from a deep place of love, I don’t really need to have this negative dialogue with you unless it’s truly constructive to what I’m doing.”

So if it’s a hater who’s just trying to bring you down for the sake of bringing you down, the arrogant person would get in that pig’s mud with them or whatever and they’d start wrestling with that pig. “What are you saying? I’m the best. I can do this, blah, blah, blah.” And that’s the arrogant person. The confidence person sees if you’re just a hater for the sake of being a hater, I’m not going to entertain this. But if you’re a fan and maybe you think I can improve in X, Y, Z and it’s coming from a deep place of love, I’d be open to hearing it.

And it’s also not thinking that you have to take all of those pieces of constructive criticism into account. This is an important one, guys. Because I feel like the conversation ends right there, something I even just realized. The conversation ends in don’t entertain the haters, receive constructive criticism, but what about when you receive constructive criticism that may come from a place of love, but you’re not aligning with it? I believe from a place of confidence you don’t have to do everything that is suggested to you. You know, I might have people who want only Ayurveda content on this podcast. And I may have another half of people who are not interested in Ayurveda and they want to hear about the other stuff. I may have people who are just here for the interviews. Maybe this is the first time they’ve ever just heard me talk. And I may have people who don’t even like the interviews and are just me. So whose constructive criticism would I take?

And this is the confidence of listening to yourself and not looking outside of you for answers, or validation, or even constructive criticism. Because I could completely decide tomorrow that “Highest Self” podcast is only going to be about, I don’t know, shamanism, or it’s only going to be about reiki healing, or whatever I feel like. And maybe a lot of you are going to say, “No, we want the old ‘Highest Self’ podcast.” But if I’m coming from a true place of confidence believing that this podcast is going to improve and be better aligned with me if it’s only shaman, only reiki, only whatever podcast, then that’s how I should move forward.

So confidence does not mean you have to take in account what everyone else thinks you should be doing. Listen to it, but move forward. And the bigger you get, you’re going to receive more, and more, and more of it. That eventually you have to kind of pull that plug and say, “Okay, this is what I want to do.” Because as a lot of you guys want to write books, you’re going to have your publishing team who want something from you, and you’re going to have this other group of people, and then social media people, and this, and that. And they’re all going to have different views and different directions. And if you’re not confident, you’re going to lose yourself in all of those, and then you’re going to lose touch with what your brand is all about.

So confidence is saying yes as much as it’s saying no. It’s being clear, clear within yourself. It’s knowing that you can trust your vision, and that the actions that come out of that vision are coming from a place of deep alignment. Confidence is not calling your friend every time shit hits the fan. It’s not asking your mom for advice, however loving she may be. It’s saying, “Okay, guys, I’m going to handle this one on my own.” And trusting that you’ll be able to find that answer.

Confidence is knowing that what you are putting out in the world is here to serve people. That you are not doing this from a place of lack, or insecurity, or wanting money, or accolades. But knowing that you are actually improving people’s lives with your art. Confidence is knowing that it is so much greater than just you. That you play a role in this finely orchestrated machine in that when you rise up, and you are sure about that role, then the other parts of the machine can function. And the other parts may look like the people whose lives you touched who then go on to heal their friends and families. Or the lives you’ve affected with your essential oil blend, or your crystals, or your real estate, or your stocks, or whatever it is you’re doing.

If it’s coming from this deep place of, “Wow, my essential oils are healing lives every day. Wow, these properties that I’m helping sell are giving people homes that truly make them feel loved and supported. “That whatever it is you’re doing is doing something greater for the universe. And when you step into really knowing that, that you acting in accordance with your dharma is your sacred duty, and it’s why you are here, and anyone that is questioning or judging that is literally getting in the way of God’s work.

When you see it like that, you don’t let some hater on Twitter stop you. You don’t let some person who says, “I don’t know, there’s a lot of health coaches out there,” get in your way. You don’t let someone that says, “Ugh, another CBD cream. We’ve seen enough of those,” keep you from that path. Because you know you are in divine alignment with your highest truth, which helps the world get in its highest truth.

So confidence is taking your task outside of the self and putting it into the greater whole. It’s moving from the microcosm and really seeing that as a reflection of the macrocosm. It’s knowing that you are divinely guided at all times, and the thoughts that you have are the thoughts of universal source consciousness. And nature doesn’t fuck up, the moons don’t get off schedule, the tides don’t forget what the moon’s doing. It’s all in divine timing, and all in divine alignment.

So if you can trust that nature will do its job, you can trust that the guidance you’re receiving, which will come in your own voice, is the guidance that you need to be acting upon. God, spirit guides, mamagaia, pachamama, whoever it is that you believe in, doesn’t talk to you in this other freaky voice. It’s not like, “Hello, Margaret, this is God calling, and I think you should quit your job. Thank you, bye-bye.” That’s not how God calls—at least in my experience. The spirit guides aren’t like, “Hello, we are the angels. You’ve been calling upon us. Here we are. Break up with your boyfriend. Goodbye.” That’s not how the angels communicate either. Your ancestors aren’t like, “Hello, Rhadika, we think you should be doing another path here. Okay, acha tike, bye-bye.” That’s not how most of them—I mean that is maybe how they communicated in real-time, but it’s not how they send messages to you.

I think a lot of times we hear spiritual people, maybe you’ve heard myself, other people say, “Receive guidance, call upon your spirit guides, call upon source.” There is no other voice that comes in and is like, “Hello, source here.” You know, Morgan Freeman does not come through when you call upon God or whatever. It’s you, it’s your own voice, and confidence comes in trusting that your own voice is the voice of the divine. There is no separation, you are the God that you have been waiting for. When you can trust that your ideas are the ideas of these greater, higher beings. That the words that you are writing are gifted to you by these ascended masters. That when you are speaking and you’re in flow, that is divine consciousness moving through you. You don’t need to call a psychic, and you don’t need to go to church. You just need to tune in with yourself. So confidence comes in trust, and your inner voice, and knowing that your true self will always give you the exact messages that you need.

If you loved this episode and want more of me guiding you through finding your higher purpose, I created a four-week program called “Doshas and Dharma.” Dosha, your mind-body type, dharma, your life purpose. And it’s centered around how the strengths that you were born with are exactly those that you need to be calling upon. So in this four-week program I guide you towards figuring out what your dosha in your mind really is. Learning about what you’re good at, your strengths, your weaknesses, how to use your voice, how to be more confident, how to show up and take freaking space on this planet earth. Mm. And by the end of it, you will finish these four weeks with your purpose statement clearly defined. So when people ask you, “Huh, why are you here? What do you do? What’s your elevator pitch?” You’re like, “Honey, I am here to raise consciousness, and let me tell you how.”

So I am so excited to have you guys on. We start May 28th. This is a live program, once a week live calls with me. So if you’re feeling the call, you want to connect deeper, you want more of the juice of this podcast, but in a detailed, step-by-step approach that only a real program can give you, then I invite you to apply. You can find more about it on my website, iamsahararose.com, you’ll see it right there. It says, “Learn about the ‘Doshas and Dharma’ program,” you click on it, I have a podcast that’s all about the “Doshas and Dharma” program. I have a YouTube video on there, me interviewing the former students on the program who I trained to be coaches who are going to be these small, five-person group coaching calls with you every week besides my coaching call.

So you’re going to be really, really supported these four weeks, and it’s going to radically change your life. So if you feel ready to be the confident, empowered leader, business owner, whatever it is that you truly desire but you may feel a little bit hesitant about, or maybe you don’t really know what that thing is quite yet. This program is going to help you find out. I look forward to having you, I look forward to guiding you. Namaste.

Episode 076 – How to Be More Confident With Sahara Rose