We each have that thing(s) that just rubs us the wrong way. Maybe it’s seeing that annoying PDA couple making out in the middle of the day. Maybe it’s that flashy person with their Louboutins. Maybe it’s that guy who just sold another million dollar company. Well guess what.. That is your exact guru.
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Intro + Outro Music: Silent Ganges by Maneesh de Moor
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Episode 135 – The Only Thing That is Holding You Back with Sahara Rose
By Sahara Rose
Namaste. It’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to the “Highest Self” podcast. A place where we discuss what makes you your soul’s highest evolvement. I was just having a thought about why a lot of people are not in places that they want to be in their life. Maybe it is in your career, in your relationship, maybe your home isn’t what you want it to look like. And I figured out what this block is, and it’s yourself. This block is your idea that your visions are not possible. This falsehood that is implanted in your head like the cancer of the mind that is telling you that you are not enough—smart enough, ready enough, rich enough, loveable enough, whatever it is.
And what I’m really gleaning into about why some people are having six and seven figure businesses, why some people are in these incredible relationships with their soul flames, why some people have a tribe of supportive friends, and why other people do not. Is because on a subconscious level they feel that they’re unworthy of it. And I know that may hurt to hear because it makes you think, well, I think I’m worthy of it, I don’t have those things, but I definitely think I’m worthy of love. I think I’m worthy of money, I think I’m worthy of a tribe of friends, but I don’t have them. And that’s when you become resentful about it. And that resentfulness is a sign that it is something that is triggering a core wound inside of you because if it didn’t trigger you, it wouldn’t bother you.
You know, I remember when I had just graduated from college, and I would see groups of friends out to dinner. I would see them Halloween together, I would see them doing all these things, like a little “Sex and the City” girl squad. And part of me was extremely resentful because I didn’t have many friends, because I was always alone doing those things. I was alone traveling, alone eating, just my own friend. And I would say, “Oh, I love being independent. Ugh, these people are so much drama, I’m so glad that I’m not held back by anyone. I can travel, I can do whatever I want, I don’t have to report to people. I don’t even like going out, blah blah blah.”
But really it was triggering this core wound of me that felt like no one wants to be my friend. That’s really what that wound was. And if you really stem back from where that comes from, for me personally, it came from being in kindergarten, not speaking a word of English. The kids laughing at me, calling me “Hairy Sari” and saying that my food was poop stew. And that made me incredibly shy as a kid, and feeling like there’s something wrong with me that I’m different from everyone that no one wants to be my friend. And I’ve had great friends in my life, but that specific time, those years that I did not have friends, when I would see friends, I would get triggered because a part of me felt unworthy of friendship.
So I want you to take a minute right now and just think what is that thing that is bothering you? Maybe it’s when you see these girls, they post up these pictures of themselves, and you’re like, “Who is she to post that picture? She thinks she’s all that. No one cares. Stop posting pictures of yourself.” It’s okay, we’ve all done that. Maybe that’s your thing. Or maybe you look at people and they’re, you know, driving expensive cars, and having Chanel bags and whatnot, and that just bothers you. You’re like, “You know, money doesn’t buy happiness, why do you have to be such a show off? Even if you have money what is the point of showing it around in your fancy ass car, and your bags, and your shoes, you put the red bottoms on there. Like no one cares, why do you need to show off that wealth to the world? Like why can’t you be secure in yourself?” Maybe that’s what you’re saying.
And that’s okay, that may be your thing, that’s definitely been my thing before. Or maybe it’s every time you look at a couple on social media and they look so in love, and they’re posting about their fun cooking nights, and their Halloween costumes, and blah blah blah blah blah. You’re like rolling your eyes, you’re like, “For real, they’re not even meant for each other. You can so tell that he’s disinterested, and she’s too good for him, and they’re never going to make it long term. They’ve probably just settled for each other. You know, I’m happy as I am, I don’t need to settle for anyone, they just settled for each other.” And maybe that’s your core wound, and that’s okay too.
So take a moment right now to scan when are those times that you get irritated. What are those things that tick you just the wrong way? And that right there is your work. That is your guru, that is your teacher, that is what you need to be focusing all of your attention on healing. The part of you that is resentful of those that are in love because a part of you feels unlovable, the part of you that hates these flashy people because a part of you feels like you’re not abundant.
And again, this is not saying that their behavior is correct or incorrect, it just is behavior. But whatever it is triggering in you, that emotion is your reaction based off of your internal state. It actually has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you. So we are in this school, this human school that we were born in. We were born in these costumes, these human suits, and we’re walking around in the school, and the school is giving us life situations that we learned from. Do I cross left or right? Do I go up or down? Do I say yes or no? And this is how we learn in the school, this is the curriculum. Every obstacle you’ve signed up for, that’s grade one, grade two, grade three. That shit storm you dealt with, those were your final exams to get you to the next level. That’s all that this is.
We are just here to learn from different situations and the things that rub us the wrong way are the subjects that we need to pay attention to, not run away from. There’s too much bypass in the spiritual world that we try to bypass the emotions. “Oh no, I’m not jealous, I don’t care. I’m a loving light. Oh no, that doesn’t bother me, no I’m fine. I just need to go meditate more.” We pretend that these emotions don’t exist and we put a little white sheet over them pretending that they’re going to disappear. Well they’re not. They’re just going to get bigger and you’re going to find more people who exemplify this core wound of yours until you can heal it.
Isn’t it beautiful? The universe is like, “You got a wound over here so let me put some salt and some vinegar and rub that shit until you have no choice but to pay attention.” And here we are taking Ambien, taking Percocets, taking whatever we can to not feel the pain whereas the pain is where the attention needs to go. What is pain? Pain is a response from the body based off of where we need to be directing our attention, not avoiding. So that thing that you want in life, when you don’t have it, you are going to fight all of the people who do and they’re going to bother the living shit out of you because they are just a reminder that you too are capable. Maybe it’s not going to look like that, maybe when you have money you’re not going to have a Louis Vuitton bag and some Christian Louboutins. Maybe you’re going to give it to charity and buy lots of plants.
But what it is triggering in you is the fact that they can afford it, and you cannot, and you feel like you are superior, and you just spent your money in a better way. But the thing is, they’re still the one who is making the money, and that triggers you because you feel like you’re a better person than them. Am I right?
So this is why we do the work, my friends, this is why we do the work. This is why we go deep, dark into them shadows. This is why we look at our relationships, we look at the patterns. You know, is everyone really always jealous of you or do you just create that situation? You know, I know a girl always, every time I talk to her, “Everyone’s just so jealous of me. It’s so hard to have friends because everyone’s so jealous of me. You know most girls aren’t like you and I. Every girl’s just jealous of us.” And I’m like, “Really? Because I don’t think so. I think they’re just living their lives. I think maybe you thinking that they’re all jealous of you is making you find the people and even evoke that reaction out of people who maybe were not jealous of you. Maybe you were just projecting that you’re jealous of them so you’re trying to say that they’re jealous of you to make yourself feel better, you know.”
If you walk around life with a story, the universe is going to cast the actors to allow that story to continue, you know. That’s the beautiful thing about it, we choose our roles, and then the universe is like, “Okay, let’s play this shit out. Let’s go.” And most of us choose really shitty ones, we choose stories that everyone’s out to get us, that it’s not safe, that we can’t be who we are. That if we go after what we really want we’re not going to be able to make money that way.
If there’s a perfect guy there’s probably something really fundamentally wrong with him because there’s no perfect guy. These are the stories that we carry on and they’re based in someone’s perceived truth so they don’t come out of thin air. Yes, there are jealous people, yes there are shitheads, yes there are people who are flashy as fuck and do nothing for the world. Yes, that is all true, that exists. But do you know what else exists? The polar opposite of that. And since you’re not paying attention to it, you are missing it.
You know, it’s like that YouTube video where you’re watching a basketball game, and then they’re like, “Did you notice the monkey that was dancing across the basketball court?” You’re like, “Oh no, I didn’t notice that.” Because all you were paying attention to was the game, my friend—the game, the jealousy game, the superiority game, the eternal complex game. You’re paying attention to the game and not focusing on the truth.
The truth that everyone is trying the best that they can. The truth that everyone is really so busy in their lives that they’re not spending their time thinking about yours. The truth is that anyone is capable of abundance and you don’t have to sell your soul for it. The truth that we are all worthy of love, and there is not one soul mate out there for us. There are multiple, and we can choose the ones that we want to run this game with. The truth that we are so innately unique and so innately powerful that if we were to even actualize like 20% of our brain, we would be operating at a level that no human ever has. That is how incredibly powerful that we are. So what story do you want to choose? Do you want to be in an Oscar feature film? Or do you want to be on a straight to video? You let me know in the comments, you let me know in the reviews, but I’m guessing you guys are all Oscar worthy.
So if you want to come hang with me, come head over to my “Abundance Mindset” master class. Real deal talk, just like this, all about getting your abundance mindset right. I keep it one hundo like always, and we’re really going to get into the subconscious blocks that are holding you back from living your truth. So head over to abundancemindsetmasterclass.com and I look forward to guiding you. Namaste.
Episode 135 – The Only Thing That is Holding You Back with Sahara Rose