The deepest work we can do is unpacking our childhoods and family dynamics.
I spent this past week in Boston where I grew up to celebrate the healing work I’ve been doing around my ancestry and spend time with my family.
One morning, while I was meditating I could feel my mom come onto the balcony and start to take pictures of me. I felt all this anger come up.
Instead of acting on it, I meditated on it.
I realized it came deep from my childhood when she would barge into my room and i felt like I had no personal privacy. I did breath work and allowed myself to grunt out all the rage..
Then I found the neutrality ?? That no matter how many people are watching, I can always drop in and meditate.
From there, I found compassion for why she was taking the photo in the first place. She loves me and wants to remember me being here. It wasn’t out of malicious intent to disturb my inner peace. And even when she barged into my room when I was a kid, it was to make sure I was safe.
I let myself feel that love.
I used to think meditation was about staying calm at all times. Now I realize it is a tool to transmute shadow emotions ??♀️
Instead of being pissed that she ruined my meditation, I used it as a powerful tool to go even deeper.
This may happen for you with loud construction, an ambulance, a child annoying you or repetitive thoughts.
Rather than seeing it as disturbing your meditation, see it as enhancing it.
I now realize every shadow emotion we experience is gifted to us as our opportunity to go, feel and heal deeper?