When my marriage ended, one thought kept looping in my head: “Will I ever feel that way again?” I had been with my husband for seven and a half years. I couldn’t imagine starting over. I couldn’t imagine anyone else.

Today I can tell you there is so much love after divorce. It just looks different from what you expect. It begins with you, it moves through your friendships and your art, and when romantic love does arrive, it meets a woman who knows exactly who she is.

Is There Really Love After Divorce?

Yes. Heartbreak used to be the end of the story. Now it’s just the beginning of a new one. So many women today live multiple lifetimes within one life. A woman may experience a marriage, a divorce and a reinvention, move countries, start a new career and experience another great love, all before she turns forty.

Your grandmother may have had one marriage and one version of herself. You get to have eras. That’s a gift our ancestors could only dream of.

First, Let Yourself Grieve

Divorce is the loss of a person and also the loss of an entire reality: the future you imagined, your routines, your shared friends, the version of yourself who lived inside that marriage. All of that deserves to be grieved. Before you can open your heart to someone new, you need to let the old life fully die.

I walk through this process in how to heal after divorce and the deeper spiritual journey in the dark night of the soul.

Beware the Rebound Window

After a breakup, a woman is most susceptible to the wrong kind of love. It’s often when the most unhealed men find their way in. We’re vulnerable, we’re struggling to be alone and we cling. Even if we think it’s just for now, our bodies think, “This is my person.”

Many of us confuse lust with love. We let intimacy rush at the beginning because we’re swept away, then become attached to someone we never took the time to see clearly. In the months after divorce, give yourself the gift of going slowly.

My Season of Celibacy

After my divorce, I chose a long season of celibacy. My mind told me something was wrong with that, that I should be making the most of my single time. My body knew better. I was cultivating such deep self-love that sharing that energy with someone who didn’t see me as sacred made no sense.

That season freed me from the whole cycle of situationships. I had more energy, more clarity and a glow people kept asking me about. For the first time in my life, I was fully in my own energy with no cords attached. Read more in celibacy as a spiritual practice and how to break a soul tie.

Your Crush Is Showing You Your Unlived Self

As women, we’re taught that a partner is the ticket to a new life. So often we become enamored with someone because they embody the unlived version of ourselves: their creativity, their abundance, their confidence.

Ask yourself: Who are you crushing on? What do you love about them? How do they embody qualities dormant in you? How can you step into those frequencies now? How can you become your own crush? This is the heart of the Artist archetype.

From Alone to All One

In the months after my divorce, I noticed I’d feel intensely lonely around 2 p.m. every day. One afternoon I took myself outside, sat beneath a tree and asked why I was so resistant to being alone. Underneath it was a belief I had inherited from generations of women: that if I wasn’t helping someone, I didn’t deserve to exist.

When I sat with that loneliness long enough, I realized what I’d been running from was peace. Your capacity to be alone without suffering is the very thing that will help you choose your best partnership. When your life is full, anyone who comes in can only add to that overflowing chalice. I write about this in the Mystic archetype.

Love Is an Ecosystem

In Brazil, someone once explained love to me like this: “A romantic relationship is ten percent. Another ten percent is my parents, another is my friends, another is nature and another is music.” Love is an ecosystem. The richer each part becomes, the less we expect one person to be our entire source of connection and belonging.

Pour into your friendships. Reconnect with family. Fall in love with your art. When romance arrives, it joins a life that is already overflowing.

How to Date After Divorce With Discernment

Know Your Standards

Separate preferences from standards. Preferences are height, job and hobbies. Standards are respect, honesty and emotional availability. Read settling vs. standards in dating.

Build Intimacy Before Sex

There are so many ways to share connection before becoming physical. Try eye-gazing, traditionally practiced left eye to left eye, or syncing your breath with someone. These practices slow things down and let you sense whether you’re truly attuned.

Listen to the Quiet Voice

Your wound will feel rushed and reactive. Your intuition comes in a whisper. If something feels off about a new connection, sit with it a little longer before deciding.

Watch Effort Over Time

Intensity at the beginning tells you very little. Consistency tells you everything. If you keep attracting avoidant partners, read anxious-avoidant attachment.

Let Your Life Become Enchanted

When you open to living an enchanted life, the universe surprises you. You say yes to the stranger’s invitation. You follow the synchronicity. Your life becomes the kind of story where magic can happen, and the magic stays yours whether or not any particular person stays.

Affirm to yourself: My life is romantic and full of surprises. Things keep getting better. And trust that it only takes one.

I share my full journey through divorce, celibacy and opening my heart again in Maybe This Love Story Is Really About Me.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it possible to find love after divorce?

Yes. Many women find deeper, more aligned love after divorce, especially when they take time to heal and get to know themselves first.

How long should I wait to date after divorce?

There’s no fixed timeline. Wait until you can enjoy your own company and want partnership from fullness rather than loneliness.

Why do I keep attracting the wrong people after divorce?

Right after a breakup we’re vulnerable and more likely to cling to whoever arrives. Slowing down, clearing old energetic cords and knowing your standards helps you attract healthier love.

How do I open my heart again after divorce?

Grieve fully, pour love into your friendships and creativity, practice being alone without suffering and build intimacy slowly with new people.

Listen to the Highest Self Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.