Do you always feel like you need to be rushing and responding just to stay afloat? Maybe you are always in your emails, checking your notifications, and never allowing your nervous system to rest. If you want to learn more about how you can slow down, allow yourself to be fully present, and break the cycle of the productivity trap, my latest podcast episode is a must-listen. I open up about my struggles with always being on and ways we can break past this need and truly embody the joy and ease in life we are so deserving of. I discuss the difference between a hyper and hypo aroused nervous system and how to tell which you may have. I ask you to question what success truly means to you and what are you chasing in life, that isn’t allowing you to enjoy the now.
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Episode 416: What Does True Success Mean To You
By Sahara Rose
Namaste, it’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes You, Your Soul’s Highest Evolvement.
For my birthday, this past month, I recently took some time off to reconnect with the whales and the dolphins and the pigs in the ocean, in the Bahamas, and the turtles and all the sea animals. I definitely am a Lemurian, in past lives, in the ancient civilization of Lemuria, I am a mermaid, I have actually gone to mermaid school, learning free-diving in a mermaid tail, I’m not joking about that one.
But I feel like one of the reasons I love under water is, it’s such a reminder to me of another state of consciousness on this earth.
When you go under water, you see that there is an entire other world out here, on this planet. In fact, most of this planet, 80+% of it, is water. And as I was whale watching, I wondered if the whales go human watching.
And here we are, thinking that we, humans, here on earth, are the main species, the main boss around, but really, there are entire worlds and galaxies that exist here on this planet. And when you really observe the way that Nature moves, it is a lot slower. And slow doesn’t mean it’s procrastinating, slow does not mean it’s falling behind, it’s slow, yet perfectly on time.
And it was such a reminder to me, about the way that we feel like we always need to be rushing, always need to be responding and playing ping-pong with the world, just for us to keep afloat. When that simply isn’t true.
I began to notice, within myself, this desire to constantly check my phone, even though, my team knew I wasn’t working that week, but I felt I needed to anyways. My nervous system was so wired to check what’s happening on my phone and respond and be on top of everything, why, when I would sit with it? Because I was afraid. I was afraid if I don’t check my phone, a catastrophe might happen and I won’t be aware of it and everything will fall apart. Therefore, I must constantly check my phone. I must constantly be on guard. Otherwise, I will lose everything. That’s the thought. That’s the fear.
So, I’ve begun studying the nervous system, especially over the past year or so, with Covid, and noticing the way that it’s affected people differently, and most of us have nervous systems that are completely out of whack!
So, for some of us, we have really hyperactive nervous systems. So, that’s that feeling of urgency, responsibility, always needing to be on, always needing to be ahead.
So, for me, I noticed that my nervous system was wired. In fact, I actually created this for myself. Because, when I was in my earlier 20s, I was not like this at all, I was a hippy living in India, in a hut. I was like “How do people get so motivated to create all these things, I don’t understand it!” I was going through a very different stage and period of my life that was all about getting to know myself and freedom, but what I wanted more than anything was stability and to be able to actually make money to support myself and be able to live and buy organic food and live in the US one day, and be able to afford it, so I began to adapt and learn how to be more productive and schedule and make the most of my time. And my mind started to give me feedback “You’re doing a good job! Look what you’ve created! You’ve created books, you’ve created courses, you’ve created businesses, membership programs”, I’ve created, even, an Institute, at this point.
So, the mind is telling a story that the more productive I am, the safer I will be, the happier I will be, therefore, I should always be ahead of the game in order for me to be happy. And what that actually creates is, it separates you from experiencing joy in this moment, because there you are, at the waterfall, there you are in the forest, but what you’re thinking about is “Am I falling behind?” Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever been on a vacation or even with friends, but you’re wanting to check your phone, you’re wanting to checking your email, you’re afraid that maybe you missed something? That’s that hyperactive, hyper-aroused nervous system that always feels like “If I am not doing something, if I am not productive, if I am not aware of everything happening in my surroundings, then I’m not going to be safe.”
And there’s so much we can dive into with this and how it stems from childhood. And, often, people had an unstable parent and that’s what caused them to be hyper-aware of how other people are feeling, and needing to be attuned to everything at all times, so, this goes in.
The other spectrum of this is a more hypo, a more, I want to say, like, very relaxed nervous system, to the point where it’s no longer firing.
So, for example, when we have adrenal fatigue, the first stage of that is our cortisol, our stress hormone, goes up, that we become very reactive, we become very stressed out. But after a period of time, it actually plummets and we no longer produce cortisol anymore, and this is what adrenal fatigue is, you’re no longer even producing the stress hormone.
So, often times, people like this, with a more hypo-aroused nervous system, have the freeze response, they may shut down or not be present. They may just be running on auto-pilot, they may not even be expressing or feeling any emotions. You may feel exhausted, wanting to withdraw, sadness, going down memory lane, or even having memory loss.
So, this is, sort of, the opposite end of the spectrum. Instead of being really anxious and overwhelmed and trying to get everything done, it’s almost like you give up and are like “I can’t do this, this is too much, I’m going to stay exactly where I am.”
So, notice this! Are you more hyper-aroused or hypo-aroused? Is it more of that fight or flight, which is hyper, or freeze, which is hypo? And this is really going to give you such powerful information about how you can support yourself to really, not only step into your Dharma, but experience joy in a true way.
So, one of the solutions to both of these states is to reconnect with Nature.
So, the past two years, many of us have been disconnected from Nature. We are spending a lot more time at home, and there is this attachment, I find, and I even notice this in myself, to being in the house. Almost like being outside is unsafe, I’m not going to have all of the things that I need. And I’m pretty sure a lot of addictions, compulsive behavior, have been created over the past two years because we forget that we can adapt to not having our very specific Matcha or lights a specific way or needing to be alone, with our phones, for 3 hours a day.
So, a lot of us are very disconnected from Nature, we’re very fearful of nature.
So, reconnecting with her, reconnecting with the Divine Mother that we all come from, really is the solution to allow ourselves to feel connected, earthy, grounded, rested, which is, really, our true nature. Our true nature is bliss, it’s peace, it’s joy, it’s just that we have attuned to the speed of technology rather than the speed of Nature.
And this download came in when I was at a waterfall – “Move at the speed of Nature!” Because Nature doesn’t mess up, it never moves too fast or too slow, it is exactly how it’s meant to, to allow the seasons to unfold. And trust that each of that have our own seasons, we have our Summers where we may be really productive and getting things done, and meeting new people, and signing up for things, and putting ourself out there. And then, we also have our Fall, where we start to slow down and maybe really think about things from a higher perspective, what’s our new identity, where are we going, wrapping things up. And then our Winter, where we ground and we retreat back into the home and we rest and we take care of ourselves and we nurture and we replenish. And then, from that place, we gently blossom into Spring and we meet people again and we feel re-inspired, and this is also related to the menstrual cycle.
Our Summers being the ovulatory phase, where we’re ovulating and we have a lot of energy and we’re creating a lot of things.
And then the Luteal phase, which is our internal Fall, where we are pre-menstrual, and we’re finishing things up, and it’s time to do our, those, maybe, more analytical tasks that we didn’t want to do before, more strength training before we menstruate, which is our Winter, our time to retrieve, be our womb cave, slow down, listen.
And then we have out Follicular, the new follicle, the new sprout, the new seed has germinated and we are in our Spring.
So, Nature has these cycles; our bodies have these cycles. But why don’t we allow our minds? Why do we expect our minds to be as on and available as Instagram?
You know, when Instagram is down for a few hours of the day, it literally gets front page of cnn.com, that’s how big of a deal it is for us.
But maybe even Instagram needs its Fall and Winter, maybe it needs to slow down. Maybe we all do. Maybe we all really need to reassess why are we doing what we do.
And I see this really with everything, and it’s a constant question I ask myself, too, why are we doing what we do? Why are we, even, manifesting? Why are we even wanting to live our soul’s purpose? Why are we wanting to be in a relationship? Why are we wanting these things? And to really feel the underlying reason behind it, the emotion, the essence that we are seeking to experience. And the invitation is to not wait!
Don’t wait until you have a six-figure business for you to start feeling abundant. Don’t wait until you’ve met your twin flame or soulmate for you to start feeling loved and worthy. Don’t wait until you’ve manifested your mountain-top villa in order for you to feel free. Don’t wait until you’ve moved to Costa Rica in order for you to feel wild. You are all of these things. These aspects live inside of you, they cannot be taken away from you, they’re just waiting for you to remember.
So much of our lives are spent chasing something that is already ours. If we just attune to the wisdom and the source codes that are just dormant inside of ourselves, we will, then, blossom and erupt like volcanoes that have been waiting to just be recognized.
Joy is not something you have to earn, it’s available for you right now.
So, let’s cut the middle man, this idea that “I need to be someone to feel something”, and decide that you already are someone! Decide that the joy that you think you’re going to experience when you’ve hit that goal is already available for you, you’re just not making the time for it.
And yes, while it is important to have our aspirations and things that we’re building towards, and that is extremely motivational and inspirational, if we don’t continue to cultivate peace and joy and gratitude and awareness along the way, even when we get to those places, we’re still going to feel quite empty.
And I see this myself, with many entrepreneurs, who are 6,7,8 figures, and they’re still waiting for this thing, this ‘aha’ moment, this realization that maybe another cup of Ayahuasca will give them for them to feel whole, when that has always been inside of you, ever since you were a child, it is inside of you. It’s just that we feel that we need to do something and prove something, climb that mountain to the top and post it on Instagram, in order to feel worthy of it. You don’t need to do anything to experience joy. You don’t need to suffer, to grow. You don’t need to learn the hard way anymore. You don’t need to always be available, always be on, always be responding. Lots of messages can just be left unread and you can move on.
Now, I’m not saying disconnect from people, in fact, community is more needed than ever before. But responding to a million messages and having a million conversations with people that you might never meet in person, including people that you might already know, that’s not community, that’s a job.
So, pay attention, who are these connections, who are the people in my community that I’m really seeking to dive deeper into, and set that intention, to spend more time with them.
You know, for myself, I make sure I spend time with the people who really matter to me, whether it’s sending voice notes to each other, planning trips to see each other, keeping each other updated on our lives because I know that those are the people, for me, that I feel a deep sense of belonging and kinship with.
And then there are people in your life that you may be holding on to because you feel bad letting go. But really, they were people who connected with the past version of you, not the version of you right now.
So, it’s important for us to really be mindful of how we’re spending our time. Are we just playing tag and keep up with a hundred different people that we couldn’t even really talk with about what we’re going through right now? And how can we, maybe those looser connections? Or someone that you even met online, how can we dive deeper with them, hop on a Zoom call, get to know each other? Because community is another solution to a both hyper and hypo-aroused nervous system. Because it allows us to feel connected, supported, belonging, which are so essential to the human experience.
You know, we want more to come back to less. We want more money so we can go back to Nature. We want more popularity so we can finally have a couple real friends.
So, let’s skip the needing to want more and more and more and more! Sure, if that’s authentic and true to you, keep going for it, but if it’s coming from this ego’s desire that “Well, now I need to make this much because that’s what I’m supposed to do. That means I am #worthy”, is it really coming from the heart?
Create and expand in a way that feels true to you, not in a way that you feel that you’re meant to do based off of other people’s perceptions. Because true success to you, is going to mean something different than true success to someone else.
True success to me means living by the beach. True success to me means having a handful of really good friends I can ritual and have conversations and dance and dive deep with. True success to me means my relationship being easy and loving and smooth and we make time for each other. True success to me means that I can create and channel and be inspired and let that be what I share with the world, not what I think will make money or be successful or what other people like or what other people are saying, that is not what I’m here for! True success to me means feeling free and expansive in my body. It means feeling free and expansive in my thoughts and my words. It means having conversations that cause me to re-question my own truth and take me deeper into my own awareness. It means surrounding myself by beauty. It means seeing flowers and trees and plants. It means honoring the yoni, my creativity, my desire to connect with all of life, that is what success means to me.
And knowing this and being able to define it and speak it into existence allows me to constantly reassess when there may be an alternative pathway that may seem bright and shiny, and it may seem really aligned for some people, to know whether it’s aligned for me. Because most people don’t realize what their version of success is until it’s too late. For most people it’s not until their final living moments that they realize they prioritized things all too wrong.
So, I invite you right now to write down what your version of success means to you. What does it look like in your life, your relationships, your environment, your work, your home? What does it feel like in your body? And make that your North Star, not hitting a certain figure, not having a certain degree or whatever the thing is that you may be chasing, feeling like that’s going to make you feel success.
Attune to what you just wrote and from that place, when you’re faced with a decision, ask yourself “Is it going to bring me closer to my version of success, not society’s?”, and then you’ll always find yourself back home.
So, this Episode was a midnight channel on a rainy Thursday night and I hope you enjoyed it. I deeply did.
Thank you so much for being here, in this human experience with me. I’m excited to see where this beautiful 222 year guides us, the year of the 6, the year of balance between our divine feminine and masculine energies, and the year of truly embodying our highest and most joyful embodied and expressive selves. I’m grateful to have you here on the journey!
So, I hope you loved this Episode and I would love for you to leave a review. So, please share a review with me, if you’re listening to this on iTunes and take a screenshot of that review so I can send you a free gift as my thank you.
You can email that free gift over to [email protected], take a screenshot of your review and I will send you a free gift of my unreleased book “Eat Right For Your Mind-Body Type”, which is a deep Ayurveda book, all about eating right for your Dosha.
So, again, take a screenshot of your review and send it over to [email protected] and I will send you over my free E-book!
I hope you loved this conversation, share it with people that you think it may resonate with and I’ll see you in the next one. Namaste!
Episode 416: What Does True Success Mean To You
By Sahara Rose