Your wombs carry the codes to your greatest healing. In this episode, we dive deep into feminine spirituality, why the patriarchy has kept us separate from our body, how to connect with your womb, the healing power of cervical orgasms, the importance of singing and twerking and soul much more. Get ready for a juicy episode!

PS: Usha had a clitoris altar up as she recorded this podcast and I’m here for it.

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Transcript

Episode 264: How To Unleash Yourself with Yarixa Ferrao
By Sahara Rose

[00:12] Sahara

Namaste, it’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes You, Your Soul’s Highest Evolvement. 

[00:20] Sahara 

Well, this Episode is on one of my favorite topics, which are yonis, wombs, vulvas, vaginas, all of the things. I love talking about this, I do a lot of Episodes on it because there’s just so much to talk about.

[00:33] Sahara

I mean, the womb is where all life comes from; it is the sacred portal. That’s why the word yoni, the Sanskrit word yoni, literally means the sacred portal between the two worlds, the sacred passage way, Source. We have Source inside of us, it’s not outside of us, it’s not this ascended thing that’s so far away, it’s right here in the physical body. 

[00:58] Sahara

So, the womb is the portal, but why do we not honor it? Why are we so disconnected to it? I mean, going back to when you first got your period, what was the story around that? Were you told what was even happening? Were you celebrated? Were you honored? Or was it just something not to be discussed? I know, for me, it was almost like I didn’t know what to do, I felt embarrassed, I felt ashamed, I didn’t want to tell anyone and then once I did it was like “Okay, now you’re a woman”, it’s like this responsibility you’ve got to take on, “Don’t get raped. Don’t get in trouble. Don’t take on men’s attention. Now you’ve got your period!” It’s like, that’s not fun, that doesn’t sound joyous, that doesn’t want to make me celebrate. And now we’re reprogramming and doing the work so our daughters and all daughters around the world don’t have to be disconnected from their wombs anymore. 

[01:48] Sahara

So, in this Episode, we dive deep into all things being a womban (get it, a woman-woman, love it!)

[01:56] Sahara

So, the womb is the physical and energetic chalice of our being, as Usha says. She says that all life is all conceived here, beyond just human life. It is the place where we create new ideas, creations, projects, everything is conceived and nurtured into form through the womb.

[02:16] Sahara

So, if you go to India, you’ll actually see many temples that worship the womb, worship the yoni. If you see on my Instagram @iamsahararose I have been on a yoni painting kick where I have been painting yonis and it is bringing me so much great joy to just honor that yoni, for the beautiful portal that it is. 

[02:36] Sahara

So, in this Episode, with Usha, who is the founder of Womban Wellness (get it, again – womban, I can’t get enough), so we talk about how your womb is your great teacher; the body is the teacher; how we have found that many spiritual practices have been all about disassociating with your body; our real work is to be in your body; to be enjoying her senses; to be tapped into her intuition and using your womb as that portal to guide you to Source.

[03:08] Sahara

So, many of us have suffered from PMS, period issues, I suffered from amenorrhea, which means I did not have my period for two years, all of these different issues which are actually issues related to deeper mental, spiritual and emotional issues that are really happening. 

For me, it was severe Vata imbalance of feeling disconnected from my body, being so up in the air, moving, doing lots of Ashtanga yoga, which is very masculine focused, which literally made my body stop having a period because it was so in that masculine, that go.

So, we talk all about connecting to our wombs, connecting to our femininity, connecting to our yoni wisdom, it’s so juicy, it’s so beautiful. 

[03:51] Sahara

When I’m talking about this subject I feel like I’m going home, I feel like I’m back in the red tents with the other sisters and we’re talking about our wombs and our cycles and all of these things, and it feels so good. And if you feel the same way, listening to this, then you know in your past life you were one of the women sitting in the red tents where we would all sit together when we were menstruating, bleeding into the earth, sharing poetry and wisdom and story and song. This is how women have always passed along wisdom, and mythology, and story, and song. And actually, women, when they were on their periods, they were leaders of the tribe and the men would come to them because, during your period, the veils between the two worlds are the thinnest, so you’re able to perceive, you’re able to use your intuition, you’re able to see the unseen. So, when we were bleeding into the earth, the men would come and they would say “What should we do about this issue in the tribe? Where should we go over there? What should we do here?” and we would channel the answer for them and they would trust us because we were bleeding; we had this incredible source in our bodies that men simply just do not have because we are cyclical beings.

[05:03] Sahara

So, this Episode really goes into connecting your womb wisdom, owning that power, loving your body for what it is and finding the beauty, finding the joy, taking control back and knowing that you are perfect just as you are. 

[05:16] Sahara

So, without further ado, let’s welcome Usha of Womban Wellness to The Highest Self Podcast.  

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[07:33] End of Advertisement

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[07:34] Interview

[07:34] Sahara 

Welcome Usha to The Highest Self Podcast, it’s so great to have you here.

[07:37] Usha

Thank you so much Sahara, I’m so grateful to be here and excited to connect with everyone listening.

[07:43] Sahara   

And the first question I would love to ask you is, what makes you your highest self?

[07:48] Usha

That’s a beautiful question! I think what makes me my highest self is my connection to the Earth. And interestingly enough, what makes me my highest self is my connection to my humanness. So, yes, honoring my divinity and the goddess within me, but also honoring the different layers and colors of humanness that express themselves through me. And I think the people around me, community, has been so important in my process of blossoming and becoming, so those that I hold close to me and around me support me in expressing my highest self. 

[08:26] Sahara

So beautiful! And I think what a lot of people are awakening to right now is that your highest self is really in your body and your body is that vessel. And I think for a long time, when people thought about spirituality, it was this kind of like, this new age, leaving the body, ascension-oriented, which is part of it, but also, we are here, in these human costumes, to be in the human experience, and women, especially, carry codes in their body which is exactly what you teach.

So, can you share with us a little bit about womb wisdom and why is it so important for women to connect to their wombs?

[09:04] Usha

Absolutely! So, I really resonate with what you share and the old spiritual paradigm is really about leaving the body, this idea that you are not your body and in order to find the divine, in order to find Spirit, Source, Energy, we have to project ourselves outside of our humanness, outside of our physical form, to find grace, to find serenity, to find peace.

But the way of the wise woman, is one who holds the teachings of the earth, the teachings of the cycles within her womb. And she knows that she doesn’t have to leave her body in order to find divinity, that actually divinity is manifested within her womb, which is portal to the mystery and the magic, and all that exists beyond the veil of what we believe to be reality. So, that’s what feminine-based spirituality, womb wisdom, is really all about. It’s about honoring the lower energy centers; it’s about honoring the root as the source of your power; honoring the earth as a place that we draw energy and wisdom and teachings from and honoring all those that walk before us.

So, for me, sometimes New Age spirituality feels a little bit ungrounded and then when we come back to the wisdom of the womb, to the wisdom of teachings that have actually been shared for thousands of years, but have just been hidden through a layer of patriarchal programming, we actually learn that connecting with the body and connecting with our humanness, our Shakti (some call it), our sensuality, our life-force energy, cannot only be a way to access a deeper relationship with the divine but can also be a way of life, a way of living, breathing and moving through this existence.

[11:06] Sahara

So beautifully shared! And I agree, I mean, I think that there’s a time and place for everything but I think we, because of the patriarchal fear, have really skipped over those lower chakras, and that’s really where a lot of the work is.

I dance a lot and I share my belly dancing and twerking and all of those things, and I’m often met with this patriarchal shame, even if it comes from a woman, of like, “Moving your hips is disgusting, it’s slutty”, “You’re doing it for men” because we’re so programmed to think that the only reason why you would be connected to your lower chakras is for a man.

So, how can we get rid of this internalized shame and programming that has made us afraid of our sacred sexuality?

[11:52] Usha

That’s beautiful, and I think the way to get rid of it is first to go into it. We can’t change anything without actually knowing what is there. And the reason why the lower chakras are so important is because they help us to process the energy of the higher chakras.

So, being someone who has traveled and spent a lot of time in India, a lot of the practices in yoga and in spirituality in general, especially the ones that have been filtered through a patriarchal lens, focus on opening up the third eye, focus on opening up the crown, before they dive into establishing the foundation, that is the root, that is the sacral chakra, which allows us to actually process that information.

So, in order to rid ourselves of that chain, and in order to rid ourselves from the guilt that so many women hold, first we have to recognize that yes, this is something that we may hold internally, but it is also something that has been layered on our collective consciousness through years, hundreds, thousands of years, of systemic patriarchal programming that teaches us to disregard the language of our bodies and to disregard the wisdom that flows through us.

So, the first step in ridding ourselves of that shame is to actually have the courage to go into it. And when I say have the courage, I also recognize that sometimes we aren’t in a safe enough space in our life to go into that energy. And that’s one reason that tantric practices, you know, working with that life-force energy and many different lineages, were actually hidden, and they were hidden for a purpose because the sexual energy and the energy of the root, the energy of the sacral chakra is so powerful, that until our body and until our energetic being is able to channel it, we might not be ready to actually integrate that energy. So it’s important to have the courage to go into it; to also have a safe space. And I mean that, being a safe space in your home, a safe place in the community, where you feel supported, seen, accepted, and to also be really patient with yourself, because when we get in to the root, to the womb energy, not only are we dealing with what we have experienced in our own life, we’re also tapping into the collective consciousness and the imprints that we carry from our ancestors as well.

[14:35] Sahara

I think everyone listening right now is “Yes, I feel it; I feel it, I know it!” And it’s something that, again, we don’t have to read in a book to experience as our truth, we’ve all felt it, whether it’s on a colloquial level of just the competition and the jealousy that has been taught to us from the time we were a child, a girl, from other women, to right now. Even, I mean, the Superbowl just happened and all of the shame and the backlash that has gone against these women of “They’re so sexual and they’re moving their hips and they’re doing this” its just showing that this is still alive, but when we have the conversations and we see “Okay, what are we really feeling and what’s underneath this” and understanding that our sexuality has been kind of taken away from us and sold back to us, so it is normal to have these reactions because not all displays of sexuality are in alignment from our truth or it’s definitely not always coming from an empowered place, but that doesn’t mean we should shut all of it away.

[15:36] Usha

Absolutely! And I love what you said of it’s kind of taken away from us and sold back to us. Especially in the Western world, we’re taught that a sexually empowered women is someone who just can have sex, freely, with whoever she wants. And a lot of my clients and the women I’ve worked with, and myself including, have engaged in sexual relations that we actually didn’t want but we continued to engage in because we thought that’s what it meant to be empowered.

[16:05] Sahara

So true! 

[16:06] Usha

And so, it’s really not uncommon. And for those of you listening, if you have resistance around going into the womb; if you have resistance around being with other women in a close knit group and shutting your walls, shutting your layers and being vulnerable, that is so normal and common. And it’s important to say that that is something that has been systematically programmed into us. Because if we feel competition with one another, and especially in a world where we’re made to feel unsafe, that accesses our social nervous system. And a social nervous system is where we connect and bond with one another. When we’re not safe in our social nervous system, we feel jealousy, we feel comparison, we feel like we don’t belong. And so, this world that creates that fear within us is really keeping us separate and when we’re separate we’re not able to unify and then rise up and dismantle the system that is oppressing us in the first place. So it’s really done so systematically.

And I think that’s important, I talk about it all the time (the patriarchy) but I talk about it so much because we have to realize it’s not our fault. And once we realize that, we can take a step back and yes, take responsibility for what we’re working with, what we’re carrying ancestrally, but also know, there’s a different way to live. And once we create that space in our consciousness, in our minds, we can find that path and find those who believe that as well.

[17:40] Sahara

So well said! So, I want to talk about our wombs and how we hold onto imprints, especially on former lovers, because this is something that is controversial in the spiritual community. I’m sure you’ve experienced it too because on one end is this feminist movement that says you can take birth control and have sex with whoever you want, freely, and that also is our right, and on the other end is this more ancient perspective of everyone that we sexually engage with, we engage with their energy too. And just to be mindful of that.

So, I’d love for you to share your perspective.

[18:16] Usha

Yeah, that’s a beautiful question. So, this really hit home for me after spending some time with one of my teachers who was a Burmese midwife, in Northern Thailand, and doing some really deep womb work with her. And after being there for about 10 days, getting treatments from her every single day, working with her on other women – after years of womb work and chairing these teachings myself, I started to see the faces, have dreams, experience energetic connections with past partners. And it was so intense for me, and I knew that that was a symbol that these imprints were being lifted from my womb and cleansed out of my body. And that was a direct experience I had of a teaching that one of my teachers, my [Mama Estra – 19:08], from Mexico, Dona Maria Carmen, she shares – so, in Zapotec tradition, it’s thought that every person that we make love with, every person we engage with sexually, a part of them, a strand of them weaves into us, weaves into our womb. And it’s not until we consciously cut the cord that they are released. And so, it’s really important – yes, you can have sex with whoever you want and feel empowered in that; and I think it’s important to know that your body is connecting with all those who you engage with. Not only those who you talk to in your daily life, both on the phone and in person, but especially those who enter you and those not only who enter your body, but those who enter your heart, are held there in an energetic capacity.

So, in order to really lift the imprints, first we have to become aware of them. And sometimes that process can feel really uncomfortable, especially for those of us who have engaged in casual sex and maybe we felt super empowered in that, I know I had a time in my life when I definitely did, but after some time of healing, I realized that a lot of those engagements weren’t actually in my deepest integrity. And maybe I was doing them because someone else, outside of me, told me that if I was empowered, this is what I would be doing. And so, a lot of women are just kind of following the steps.

So, in order to really lift these imprints, we have to notice them, we have to be radically honest with ourselves about what felt good and what didn’t. And then, a really powerful way to start releasing those imprints is to energetically call each partner, as much as you can remember them, into your space, and share. Whether that’s just through your heart or whether that’s through writing a letter, whether that’s actually speaking these words out loud. Share with them everything you need to say with them because when we have an energetic tie to someone, it’s because some work is left undone, something hasn’t been closed. And then you can almost go through your energetic body and feel like you’re taking huge scissors and just cutting these cords.

So, that’s a practice that you can use to lift these imprints. But first, to lift them, again, we have to be honest with ourselves that they actually exist.

[21:40] Sahara

Wow, yeah, I remember, after going through a break-up, literally feeling like I was cutting with these energetic scissors, like this cord, in my belly, that was still connecting me with him, with his energy. You know, I think what’s so interesting about break-ups is like, we think “Okay, you’re broken up, you’re just not going to think about him anymore, game over”, and our energies are till so entwined, especially after really loving someone for a period of time, and especially for women because they were literally inside your body, exchanging essence with you. And I think a lot of us, we pretend that everything is okay and we ignore it, and we try to put on a brave, strong face, but that’s why so many people, I feel like the most googled question is like “How do I get over my ex?” because we don’t teach each other about holding onto energy and cutting that energy when the time is ready for it to be released. 

[22:36] Usha

Absolutely! And I think that highlights are really a big aspect of our modern society; just our modern culture as a whole; that is really lacking. In every culture is different but many colonized cultures don’t know how to grieve, they don’t know how to mourn, we’re obsessed with newness in a way, of like a new relationship, a new love, but we don’t know how to actually release the energy, mourn the loss, grieve it fully, so that it’s actually lifted, not only out of our mental body, but out of our emotional and physical tissues as well.

[23:15] Sahara

So true! So, I want to talk about holding trauma in our wombs, from this life, from past lives, from ancestors. What does that feel like? How do we know that we’re maybe holding onto something?

[23:29] Usha

That’s a great question! So, one of the teachings that I share quite often, that gets so much response, is sharing an avenue of ancestral healing. So, for many of us, in the modern world, we often think of ourselves as quite separate from our families, and that’s one of the myths of old way feminism as well, that we have to just kind of lift ourselves up and create ourselves anew from whatever our dreams are or everything like that, and that’s beautiful because we have the capacity to do that, to rebirth ourselves, but we’re also carrying the imprint of all those who walked before us, specifically our maternal line. And there’s a really interesting way that we carry these imprints. So, we can carry them both through our physical body, and we do that through our inheritance of the DNA, but we also do that through nurturing. So, however we were raised, the emotional personality of our parents, the way that they spoke to us, the way that they speak to themselves, all of that is passed down into our psyche. And a lot of the women that I work with, they process negative self-talk or internal judgment or comparison, and when we do ancestral work, they actually realize “Wow, this is the way my mother used to speak to herself” or “This is the way my mother used to speak about other women and now I’ve internalized the voice of my mother and it’s become my own”. So it’s really important when we look at the way our body is holding tension, when we look at the problems or the challenges that we’ve been having with our fertility that we experience with our menstrual cycle. It’s really important to remember that we have a direct connection to our ancestors.

So, a lot of the women who struggle with fertility or who struggle with painful periods are actually carrying and continuing to process an imprint that has been in their ancestral line for quite some time. 

So, it’s really important when we start to do womb work, that we name our ancestors, and this is something that we do in my online course Womb Sciences, we go through our actual ancestral tree. And this requires talking to relatives (if we know them), this requires doing research online, but we actually write down the name of our ancestors and we trace our maternal and paternal lines back as far as three, four, five generations. And we learn their stories, we learn what they went through, we learn their challenges. And we have to remember, this is something, this is a type of study, a type of communication that used to be shared in societies that lived much closer together. 

One of the things that I love, when I go back and visit my teacher in Mexico, is that, she’s living with three generations (her daughter, her daughter’s grandchildren). And also when I was living in India, many different generations live together in one place and because of that you have these intergenerational sharing of stories. And that helps you draw connection between “Oh, I feel unworthy and my mom also feels unworthy and my grandma also feels unworthy”, but when we live in a colonial world where we’re really cut off from the knowledge of where we come from, then we’re unable to draw the lines to draw the connections, and therefore, we often place the blame on ourselves of “Why am I carrying this huge weight of negative self-talk or this internal dialogue that feels harmful to my body?” or “Why am I carrying these physical health challenges?” When, if we were living in much closer community or if we had knowledge of where we come from, we would realize “This is something that I’m processing, not only for myself but for the entire line of women and people who walked before me.” And in that way, when we bring that knowledge into the present, healing gets much more interesting because not only are we processing our own healing, we’re also processing our mother’s, our grandmother’s, etc. but we also, can start to develop more self-compassion for ourselves in knowing that what’s being held in our wombs in not only from us and what we’ve taken in from this life, but what we’re carrying from those who walked before us as well.

[28:13] Sahara

So beautifully said! And completely, I think a lot of us, you know, there’s so much shame; I think many of our mothers never even spoke to us about sex, let alone what their sex lives were like, so we don’t even know what the patterns were. We think it’s just this weird thing that’s showing up for me and then when we’re able to have those conversations and we’re able to see the patters – so, how does one go about even bringing that up to your family, especially if your family really does not talk about sex, wombs, all of that stuff?

[28:47] Usha

Oh, that’s a great question! You know, so, when I first started doing this work – I come from a catholic background, so growing up, sex, you could say that revolutionary sex and women’s health education, just in general, was definitely not accessible to me or at my fingertips, and that really got me asking questions. And in the beginning, asking questions wasn’t welcome, you know, and my parents both felt really uncomfortable talking to me about sex. I remember when I got my period, my mom just kind of threw some pads at me and was like “Good luck! You’re on the rag” which is what they used to call it, like good luck with that! And so, so many of our parents hold shame that keeps them from actually talking to us about this stuff. And if you’re someone whose parents did talk to you, that’s an amazing privilege, and maybe even still, you felt uncomfortable about it at the time, which is totally normal. 

So, for me, because that wasn’t available, I had to do my own internal work, and once I started to do my own work, and when I say my own work, I mean I went into my physical body, I went into my energy body, I meditated, I did a lot of different types of ceremonies. I went into the mountains of Mexico and Sao, my teacher, and because my physical body holds the imprints of all of my ancestors, I was able to access that information. And once I started to work on it, interestingly enough, then my mother started to come around to it. And it’s interesting actually, as Womban Wellness has grown, as thousands of women have been changed by this Womb Wellness movement that we share, my mom is starting to share on her own Facebook group about her experience of birth and about her experience of having her period, and now I can talk to her about it. So, for me, it actually happened where I had to do the work first and then my mother, through my healing, because she’s in my lineage, when I heal, she heals, whether she knows it or not. Through my healing, she started to open.

And so, for those of you who are confused as to how to go into your body, how to start to do this work, and for those of you who want to actually, or feel you’re at the point where you want to open up a conversation with your parents, with your loved ones about this, it’s important, first, to recognize that this might be quite uncomfortable for them. And if it’s uncomfortable for them, remember to have compassion because it might not be their personal discomfort. It might actually be that they’re quite comfortable with it, but they feel programmed that they should feel uncomfortable about it. And because of it, they’re unable to fully express what they have to share.

One way to do it, that can feel really beautiful, is to just not put any pressure on them to give a certain answer or to remember a certain detail, to just gather around a table in your home, to just sit with them, womb to womb or hip to hip, heart to heart, eye to eye, in a really casual way so that they feel comfortable and to start to ask about the stories – what are the stories that they can remember about their childhood. And you can do it in a way that feels like they’re reminiscing; or what are the stories that they can remember about their parents? And that way of sharing, in a casual manner, feels like it’s recognized by our biology because we as humans, and we as women, especially, kept a traditional life through oral transmission. So, to sit around and to ask questions in a really casual manner can be a beautiful way to start the healing. And to also keep a dialogue or a record in your journal about what you’re learning about your ancestors, can be a beautiful way to continue to record the wisdom that you’re learning. 

[32:52] Sahara

So true! And I find that, often, it’s easier for them to speak about something like childbirth, like “Tell me what it was like when you gave birth to me or my brother, sister, etc.” versus actual sex. I think that that can still hold a lot of shame but if they’re able to speak about their birth journey, you’re able to even just see what was their energy like when they were pregnant with you. It’s amazing, and I’m sure you’ve seen this in your work too, that, the way that a woman might have been feeling during her pregnancy could create an imprint in how we are in our lives. Do you see that happening a lot?

[33:27] Usha

Oh absolutely! And there’s so much emerging research on perinatal and prenatal trauma, just to show that when we are in the womb of our mother and when we are babies, we are not only absolutely sentient, but there’s a lot of research that proves and clinical studies that prove, not only are we absolutely sentient, which means we can feel everything, but we’re also unable to be differentiated from our mother. And what that means is, we don’t recognize ourselves as separate, we recognize ourselves as our mother. And so, whatever she is feeling, whatever the people in the birth room are feeling, whatever the partner or co-parent or relatives are feeling, not only is the mother interpreting that, but the baby is also absorbing that. And because before age 7 our social nervous system isn’t fully developed, we’re actually in-taking thins through a really primal way or these imprints are going directly into our body. And because of that, many of us have these emotional triggers or these emotional knowings of like “Wow, something feels really implicit in our body” or “There’s a tightness here” or “I feel anxiety here” and we don’t know where it comes from, and that can trace back to memories or emotions that were being processed by our mother while we were in the womb or even while we were outside of her as an infant, unable to process our external environment because we were so intimately connected to her.

[35:08] Sahara

So true, yes! A friend of mine, she had always just really bad anxiety and it wasn’t until she realized that her mom was going through a really difficult time when she was pregnant with her, and then suddenly, her anxiety dissipated because she realized it wasn’t her anxiety to hold, this was something passed onto her, therefore, she doesn’t need to buy into it, she could say that “That was my mother’s, and I’m here and there’s nothing for me to worry about.” And sometimes, all it takes is just awareness of knowing that it was passed on to you but it doesn’t mean it’s yours to carry forever for it to go away. 

[35:42] Usha

Absolutely. And in the yogic teachings, there’s a saying “Awareness is the flame that burns up the mind.” And so, once we bring something to the light of awareness, it already starts to transform. And I think that’s something that’s really important to mention on a healing path because a lot of times, when we’re doing deep work, especially into the womb. I mean, there are layers and layers of imprints that exist within us. And once we start to do the work, sometimes it can feel really overwhelming what’s coming up, but we have to remember, when something is arising, once we notice it, like your friend noticing her anxiety, once it’s brought into our awareness, it’s already starting to change; it’s already starting to shift; the roots are already starting to be pulled up from the fertile ground of our unconscious mind. 

[36:37] Sahara

Exactly, so true!

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[39:20] Sahara        

So, how can someone begin listening to their womb? When you speak about Womb Wisdom, how do we talk to her?

[39:27] Usha

That’s a great question! So, the precursors to listening is to relax. And this is so important because if we’re not relaxed, then we’re getting so much feedback from our muscles, from our organs, from our tissues that we’re stressed and we’re in tension. And when we’re stressed, our body will always prioritize that over the deep wisdom or instinct or intuition that needs to move through.

So, before we can listen to our body, we have to fully relax. And to relax, we have to go into the tensions. So, we can do that through body-mapping, through laying down in savasana or in just a prone position with your palms up and your belly and your face facing the sky and just going through your body and inviting different parts of your system to relax.

One of my favorite ways to invoke relaxation and just use as a foundation and a precursor that I use in my trainings for womb work or listening is restorative yoga, which is just complete and total relaxation with the support of props that manipulates the nervous system into a state of parasympathetic relaxation.

So, to listen to the womb, the body first needs to be totally relaxed. And for many of us relaxation can only be accessed in a safe space. And so, when you’re starting to do womb work, create that sacred space for you, and for some of us that’s outside, near a source of water. Water is especially sacred to the energy of the womb because it’s the element of the sacral chakra. Many traditions talk about how women are the keepers of the sacred waters of life. So, going outside near a river, a stream, an ocean, can feel really nice for womb work. You can also do it in your home or your apartment. And to do so, just make sure you close the doors, turn off your phones; that’s really important because in order to do womb work, we have to pull away – pull away from the external to start to go internally.

So, one of my favorite practices that is really great to begin a dialogue with your womb, is to guide your left hand to the center of your heart, and if you’re listening, you can do that, if that’s available, if you’re driving, please don’t do this. So, put your hand on the center of your heart, your left hand at the chest, and then your right hand can land in a low belly and just start to cradle the womb. And if at any point you don’t feel like touching your hands on your body, that’s okay, you can always hover them above your physical space. So, just feel into the energy that exists within you. And then before you start to deepen the breath, just notice how the breath is moving in and out of your physical form. And then once you’ve noticed, without judgment, without need to change, you can start to deepen the breath. And the intention here, as you breathe, is to feel the energy of the root, the energy of your womb, what exists beyond your right hand. And as you inhale you start to draw it up into the heart, through the spine, all the way up into the chest, and then as you exhale, you’re oohing the energy of the heart down to the womb. So, as you breathe, you’re tracing this feedback loop between the energy of the womb and the energy of the heart.

And then, once you’ve developed a softness; a sense of openness in your mind; a sense of ease in your body, you can start to listen to your womb. And sometimes answers will arise, sometimes she’ll just speak to you, sometimes you need to ask her questions, and when you do that you can ask things like “How can I serve you today” or, my personal favorite is “What do you need right now”, and then make sure that you act accordingly. And you can do this as long as you need to, not only to just talk to your womb, but also to come into your body. So, actually, before this Podcast, I did that for like 20 minutes, to just feel into my womb and ask her what is it that she wanted to share today with all of you. 

So this is a great practice that you can use at any time, and just remember that the more you speak to her, the more she speaks back to you. And it’s not that the body is silent, a lot of the women I work with have numbness, disconnection, pain in the womb and if you’re someone who experiences that too, know that that’s really common. And it’s not that the body is actually silent – so, if we’re numb, sometimes we may feel like the body is not talking. The body is always trying to communicate with us; the womb has a song; she’s always trying to sing. And it’s just about opening up our mind, quieting our external environment enough so that we can actually listen to the internal dialogue that our body, the narrative that our body is sharing with us. Each body has a story and it’s just time that we listen.

[44:58] Sahara

So beautiful. Thank you so much for guiding us through that incredible practice. And it’s such a good reminder for all of us in this crazy, fast, beautiful age, to just take a breath, slow down and connect to that womb. I think a lot of us, now, we talk about meditation, but taking it a step further and connecting to your body’s wisdom is just exactly what our souls are craving.

I’d love to know, do you recommend people working with jade eggs, yoni wands, cervical wands or just more of a breath energetic practice?

[45:34] Usha

That’s a great question. So, I think it’s really important, first, if you’re going to work with jade eggs or rose quartz eggs, obsidian, onyx, whatever stone you’re choosing, that first you verify the source. So, there’s been a lot of confusion with sourcing of these types of internal healing instruments, and it’s really important, when you are purchasing this instrument, that you’re verifying its source, not only that it’s what it actually markets itself to be, so that it’s safe for you, but also that it’s safe for the earth because a lot of crystal distributers actually source really unethically, which is kind of the opposite of what we’re trying to support in our womb healing journey. 

So, actually, personally myself, I prefer to work with the energy of my body. And if I do internal work, it’s with my own fingers because fingers (or tissue on tissue) provides feedback to my brain. Whereas if I’m working with a yoni wand or even with a yoni egg, although I believe them to be yes, very healing for me personally and many clients that I work with as well, is not the same response of the body because the body doesn’t recognize crystal as it does body tissue. And so when I touch myself internally, I have that feedback from my own hands to my brain and to allow my body to respond accordingly.

So, I think it’ really important, before you go into working with yoni eggs, before you work with yoni crystals, wand of any kind, you need to have a strong foundation in your body so you have sensation, so you have a sense of self-regulation, you know how to co-regulate, you have systems of support, because a lot can come up when we start inserting foreign energy into our body. And even if this foreign energy is healing, even if it’s jade or rose quartz or obsidian, it’s still foreign energy and it can bring a lot up within us. And so, before we dive into that healing path, we have to make sure that the systems are in place to integrate and process whatever arises during that journey with the crystal, with the egg, with the wand.

[48:02] Sahara

I think that is really important to say because you know, a lot of people right now are using so many beautiful tools and it’s important for us to have – you know, it’s like before you start lifting weights at the gym, make sure you’ve got your cardio right, make sure you exercised a little bit.

I did this yoni yoga course, which was different Daoist practices and she said the exact same thing, like “Just keep working with the breath and working with awareness” and they were teaching us something called clitoral flutters, I don’t know if you’ve done this, but it’s kind of like Kegels but with your clitoris, and if you can even just focus on that and the different parts of your vulva and just having the awareness in that, I mean, that’s really what we need – the subtle awareness. And often in our society, we go towards whatever is extremely gross, right? whatever we can really feel tangibly, but what we need more of is just the very subtle energetic feeling.

[49:01] Usha

Exactly! I mean, it literally costs nothing for you to go into your body. And I think we have to be very weary, women are often sold things to make us feel better, to make us feel more attractive, to make us feel more connected to ourselves, and these material items can often just be a fad or even bring us further from ourselves. So, for you to know first, before you add anything on, that you have everything you need within you, to feel pleasurable sensation in your yoni, to know the different parts of your genitalia and your female sensual anatomy, and for you to touch yourself in a loving way, for you to send awareness into your clitoris, for you to send awareness into your vagina, into your sacred spot, that costs nothing. And it can remind you that you are totally self-sufficient. And of course we always use different supports from the earth to take us deeper, but to also be really aware that you have everything you need within you. And knowing that and feeling into your body can create a foundation to consciously add whatever other elements into your practice that you desire to. 

[50:21] Sahara

Yes! And I think that it comes down to, a lot of us still carry that shame of not wanting to touch ourselves, being disgusted by ourselves. You know, so many women have never actually seen what their vulva looks like. And you know, it’s this internalized shame and disgust that is really the reason why we feel like we still need a tool or something in between ourselves and our wombs, because we’re too afraid to go there. 

[50:50] Usha

Absolutely! And that’s something in our online course, we do something called Pelvic Floor Mapping which is a guided practice where I guide my students to actually put their fingers inside of themselves, that they feel comfortable and press in different areas and feel whether there’s tension; feel whether there’s pleasure; feel whether there’s numbness or sensation. And I’m always astonished by the amount of people who feel so unable and nervous to even go there. And what I think is fascinating, you know, honoring all stories, knowing that those with trauma, who have been violated, will definitely feel uncomfortable, possibly, going in there and honoring that; honoring where everyone is at, but also posing the question “Why do we allow others to touch us, when we, ourselves, cannot touch ourselves?? And why do we expect others to know what we want, to know how to give us pleasure, to know how to bring us to states of orgasmic ecstasy, if we don’t know how to bring ourselves there, ourselves. And I think that’s it’s really important to have patience as you explore this journey because it takes a lot of compassion, self-kindness and patience, but to also know that you starting to touch yourself and staring to learn what it is that makes you feel good, especially because every woman is different. Some women have more nerve endings in their clitoris, some women have nerve endings inter-vaginally, some women have more nerve endings in their anus. And so, what feels good for you, will be completely different than what feels good for another woman. And for you to start exploring that can be a really powerful way to open up the portal to deeper pleasure and deeper fulfillment, because sexuality isn’t just about sex, it’s our vitality, it’s our creativity, it’s our ability to express, as you say Sahara, our higher self. Who we are is so connected to that energy of Shakti, to that energy of aliveness that really moves through the portal of our sexuality. 

[53:09] Sahara

Absolutely! One hundred percent agree with all of that! I think a lot of listeners are resonating too.

So, I’d love to talk about the cervix. A lot of people speak about that as a spiritual gateway. Tell us about it.

[53:23] Usha

Oh, I love the cervix!

[53:25] Sahara

Me too!

[53:27] Usha

So, the word cervix means neck, and it’s actually the bottom most part of the uterus, but it is the neck that connects the sheath of the vagina – and just so you know, for those of you who don’t know, vagina, the word vagina means sheath and it comes from, the etymology, means ‘sheath for someone else’s swords’ (so, for a penis). And that’s why I think we really need to rename practically all of female genitalia because so many of them are named for, in relation to male genitalia or to the patriarchy (so, just little sign out there).

So, the cervix is the neck that connects the vagina, the muscular tube of pleasure, the birth canal (some may say) to the uterus, the fallopian tubes and the ovaries. And the cervix is really interesting, not only because it’s the portal that those of us who are born vaginally, pass through, in order to enter this physical world, this physical existence. So, when your mother was giving birth, her cervix was dilating up to 10cm to allow you to pass through it (even if you were a Cesarean section, this still happened as well). So, not only is it the tube or, they call it a portal because it’s what we enter to come into this physical world, but it’s also the epicenter of deep, emotional knowing, deep instinct and holds a possibility for so much pleasure as well.

So, when you look at the way that the cervix is connected to the nervous system, what we see is, the cervix is connected to the vagus nerve, and the word vagus means wandering, because it runs through our larynx, on either sides of the throat, underneath the major muscle of the neck called the sternocleidomastoid, through our heart, through our internal organs. And for those with a womb, it runs into the cervix.

So, when we are in a state of relaxation, when we are taking time with our self-pleasure, whether it’s with ourselves or whether we’re engaging with pleasure with a partner, the cervix has the possibility to be deeply orgasmic. And when I talk about pleasure, it’s so important that you understand how important patience is for female pleasure. For male arousal, it takes around 30 seconds to 2 minutes; for a female body to be fully aroused, it takes 35 – 40 minutes. So that’s a big difference there. And in order to be fully aroused, the female’s autonomic nervous system has to be fully engaged, which means her senses, all of her senses, have to be enveloped in pleasure. So, when our body is relaxed and when arousal is working, patience is one of the major virtues that we’re holding with us or major intentions that we’re carrying with us on the journey of self-pleasure or engaging with a partner, then the cervix can relax. And when the cervix relaxes, when it releases its internal tension, not only do we have the possibility to orgasm through our cervix, but we also have the possibility to open up a lot of deep internal instinctual knowing that exists within the womb as well.

And one of my favorite things to remind women – so for those of you who feel uncomfortable going into your vagina; for those of you who actually feel pain when your cervix is touched during sex, one of the best ways, or the easiest ways I’ll say (my favorite way) that we can access the cervix is actually through the practice of singing. So, when you sing and you relax your jaw, if we look, evolutionarily, at what happens inside of the womb, one single cell is divided into two; when you’re in your mother’s womb, one single cell, split into two, and those two cells create the area of the pelvis and the area of the jaw, in your body.

So, from the beginning, from your conception, those two areas of your body are connected. And if you take a picture of the cervix, of the pelvis, the pelvic floor, and then you take a picture of the vocal cords, you’ll see that they look pretty much identical. And this isn’t just a coincidence, this is a symbol of magic. This is a clue from our anatomical body, there is a connection here. So, when you sing, not only are you relaxing your jaw, but also when you hum, you’re creating a vibration, and that vibration allows for the muscles of your face, the muscles of your jaw to relax, and that relaxation is then mirrored in your pelvic floor, it’s mirrored in your cervix as well, but you’re also creating a vibration, and that vibration, the small tremors of the energetic medicine of that vibration actually tone your nervous system. So, they activate that nerve I was talking about, the wandering nerve, the vagus nerve, and they tone it into a state of calmness. And that’s why birthing mothers, for those of you who have given birth, for those who have attended or supported birth, for those of you who have just watched birth, you will know that mothers, often, without guidance even, will make these low guttural sounds where their jaws are open, where they’re just ‘ahhhh’ releasing (never thought I’d make a birth sound on a podcast, but here I go) and when they’re releasing, that’s not only helping them to relax in their jaw, but it’s also helping their cervix to relax as well. 

So, there’s a huge connection between the cervix and the nervous system. And what that means is, when we’re relaxed, we can access pleasure in our cervix. Also, when we access pleasure in our cervix, that has the ability to guide us into deeper relaxation. And when we’re in that deeper relaxation, that’s when we access a flow state, that’s when we access deeper intuitive knowing, that’s when our body begins to really heal. 

[1:00:08] Sahara 

So beautifully expressed! And it’s so interesting because in my shamanic dance teaching, she would say the same thing, that an open jaw is an open yoni and that is how you drink in the earth’s energy that we are always connected to but most of us, we have these tight jaws, these tight lips and these very straight legs, but you have to loosen, bend your knees, open your jaw, let your jaw feel loose, and that is exactly what just taps you into that Pachamama energy which is available for all of us. So, it’s incredible that that, to an even deeper level, is connected to the cervix. 

And for me, cervical orgasms are very profound. I’ve read that they release DMT in the mind which makes total sense, but it definitely has to be in an extremely relaxed state, it’s not even something to strive for, like the moment that you put something – I feel like a lot of times, in our culture, we’re like checking off even the types of orgasms like “Okay, a G-spot orgasm; this orgasm; that” and it becomes another thing to achieve and to do. And I’ve been in conversations with women of like “Have you had this orgasm and that orgasm?” like as if it’s like something on your resume, and I definitely don’t want any woman to feel like that, of like “Ugh, I’m an inferior woman because I’m not yet relaxed enough to have the cervical orgasm”, but it is inviting that this is possible for you and this is possible for women, and you don’t have to do anything, in fact it’s the opposite, all you have to do is surrender.

[1:01:40] Usha

Absolutely! And that brings us to kind of like a paradox – like “Okay, this is my intention but also, I don’t have to do anything to reach it!” And I think one way that we can become more aware of the tension we are holding in our pelvis and the tension we are holding in our cervix, is to bring more awareness to our jaw.

So, if you’re listening right now, notice how is your tongue resting in your mouth There’s a huge connective line, a tissue, called fascia, that runs all the way from the tip of our tailbone to the tip of our tongue. So, how is your tongue resting in your mouth? Are holding stress in your tongue? Then notice if you’re clenching your jaw. And throughout the rest of your day today, just notice how relaxed is your tongue and can you allow a little bit more softness into your jaw? 

And that’s why, not only bringing relaxation into the jaw is so important because it helps us to access pleasure in the cervix, but also doing your investigation, going into your body whenever you feel comfortable because everyone’s body is a nervated differently. So some women have a lot of sensation and therefore have the potential for a lot of pleasure in their cervix. Some women have more sensation in their G-spot or I like to call sacred spot, since that too, was named after a male doctor whose last name started with G (it’s crazy, yeah). And some women have more nerves in their clitoris. So for you to know where it is you feel good in your body, some women have more nerves in their anus – that’s something that’s unique to you, that like your unique blueprint, and that’s something that’s very unique to feminine physiology. Whereas men are pretty much made the same with their nerves and erectile tissue. Every woman is uniquely different and therefore she is a mystery that needs to be unraveled, both by herself and with those who love her.

[1:03:47] Sahara

Yes! It reminds me of this workshop that I went to where, it was called The Pussy Worship Ritual, and it was the first time I had ever done this, but you were paired with a random partner and you, with consent, if you wanted to be in the room, revealed, opened up your legs and let your yoni be seen. And for 20 minutes you stared into your partner’s yoni and for 20 minutes she stared into yours. And it was very challenging because you know, first of all, it’s really even hard to look at someone’s eyes for 20 minutes, let alone, you know, looking at something that maybe you haven’t even seen in yourself, and then, also, seeing the diversity of just our set-ups there and how you mentioned, some people have more sensitive clitorises or just larger clitorises (more apparent clitorises) and just how different all of our yonis are and how we don’t know this. We just think “Oh, there’s something wrong with mine” and it’s so sad how much, I think it’s called labiaplasty, but the surgery of the vulva happens because we watch porn where they pick specific types of looking ones and then we think if it doesn’t look like that then there’s something wrong with us. So, it was extremely healing and beautiful and profound, it made me so much more connected to women in general.

[1:05:12] Usha

That’s such a beautiful practice and I think it’s important to know that labiaplasty is the second most popular surgery for women in the United States. And so many young girls, a lot of my friends, who are thinking about doing it, and thank God they didn’t go through with it, but a lot of women get their labias, for those who don’t know, you get your labia cut and then it’s made to look what – what’s it’s made to look like and what we’re worshipping in the porn industry, is a prepubescent female vagina. So, one of the purposes of estrogen is to create bonding between a mother and her kin, a mother and her community, but it’s also to help our organs mature. And when we get enough estrogen through the process of puberty, the onset of puberty, our labia begins to grow and take shape. So, largely, the labia is actually a symbol of a fertile woman. And I think it’s so interesting that we are worshipping these very small prepubescent labias and the porn industry really leads the way with that, and we’re trying to find a place within us with the surgery where we can go back to prepubescent body while simultaneously honor our sexuality, honor our womanhood, it just doesn’t make much sense. And a lot of those who have labiaplasty, if you’re someone who has had that surgery, you’re totally welcome here, but those of you who have had it, you may want to start working with someone who does scar tissue remediation because anytime we cut a tissue with a surgical instrument, our body responds and tries to heal it through scar tissue which can spread very quickly and also affect our experience of pleasure as well.

[1:07:06] Sahara

Yeah, it actually reminds me of even, you know, pubic hair, how it’s kind of collectively desired for women to have no pubic hair (or very little) and that also comes down to worshipping a prepubescent body.

[1:07:21] Usha

Absolutely! And if we just look at the way that cultures have worshipped women throughout time, we see that the desired woman, and the archetype of what a woman is meant to be, is always changing. And so, I feel it for myself, and I feel for those who I love, for the women that I serve, why don’t we create our own archetype of who we want to be? And why don’t we go for that? And I think that’s what being your highest self is about – it’s about stepping away from this archetype of “This is who society says I should be. This is what my body is supposed to look like. These are the traits I’m supposed to have to be attractive. These are the traits I’m supposed to avoid in order to be a good, empowered, independent woman”. Why don’t we sit so deeply in ourselves, that we get to decide who it is we want to be, how it is we want to express ourselves, knowing that the body is a temple, is a vessel, but at the end of the day, it is just a costume here to channel and to share the message of who we truly are and express it into the world.

[1:08:32] Sahara

So beautifully sad! One hundred percent resonate! Ah! Where can listeners connect with you, learn from you, sign up for one of your trainings?

[1:08:43] Usha

So, we have a special gift for all of you, especially those of you who want to start diving into your womb wisdom, and you can access that by visiting wombenwellness.com/start and at that address you can begin your journey with us. And yeah, we do trainings all around the world and online immersions as well, so you’re always welcome to join the collective. 

[1:09:15] Sahara

Well thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us, for sharing your gifts with the world and for leading the way forward for women to connect with their wombs in a deeper way. 

[1:09:24] Usha

Thank you so much for having me Sahara, I feel so grateful to have connected with you and to have shared this space with all of you listening. Thank you so much.

[1:09:33] End of Interview

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[1:09:34] Sahara

How beautiful was that Episode! I so love talking to women about our body’s wisdom, our wombs, our life-force, our yonis, it’s such an important topic to speak about as we are reclaiming our feminine power and recognizing the wisdom that we hold inside of ourselves. It’s not anywhere outside of us, it’s not in a book, it’s not in a man, it’s not anywhere, it’s in us. So, all it takes is tapping in.

[1:10:01] Sahara

You know, even the other day, I had a question that I was wondering about and I just tuned into my womb and I did the womb meditation that I have in Rose Gold Goddesses, and you can find that meditation there, and in that meditation I guide you to understanding what your womb’s message is for you. And when I tuned into my womb’s answer, it was so clear and so simple and so loving and so like “Why are you stressing yourself out something that even society is telling you to do? You don’t have to do anything, you’re perfect as you are.” And it was just such a motherly, loving wisdom that exists in all of us.

[1:10:40] Sahara

If you’re interested in connecting more to the womb, definitely check out Usha and check out my Womb, Yoni and Moon Cycle Meditations in Rose Gold Goddesses. And talk to your womb, love your womb, dive into tantra, dive into the divine feminine, dive into the goddess work, it will all bring you closer to home. 

[1:11:00]                                                                   

If you loved this Episode, I would love to send you a free gift which is the first half of my unreleased book “Eat Right for Your Mind-Body Type“. This is a different book than “Eat Feel Fresh“. My first book ever which is not released anywhere, and I am gifting it exclusively to those who leave a review of my Podcast in the iTunes store. So all you’ve got to do is head over to iTunes where you’re maybe listening to this podcast and leave a review, take a screenshot that you’ve left it and email it over to me at [email protected] and I will send you back the first half of my unreleased book “Eat Right for Your Mind-Body Type“, which goes all into Ayurveda, Doshas, Plant-Based Nutrition, Body Types – all of the things in a really fun and engaging way. So this is my gift to you for free for supporting the Podcast. Every single review I personally read. It really helps the Podcast be listened to by more people so we can raise the vibration of the planet together, and I am soul grateful to have you on this journey.

Thank you so much for listening and I’ll see you on the next Episode. Namaste.

Episode 272: How To Communicate With Your Womb’s Wisdom with Usha Anandi
By Sahara Rose