Sahara Rose · 385: Content Creation Through Inspiration, Not Depletion with Aileen Lavendaire

Episode 385: Content Creation Through Inspiration, Not Depletion with Aileen Lavendaire
By Sahara Rose

[00:12] Sahara
Namaste, it’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes You, Your Soul’s Highest Evolvement.

[00:20] Sahara
I hope you are here fully, all of you, and if not, just call all of your fragments back in, at this moment right now, because this is a time that our energy can feel very, very scattered. It can feel like parts of us are simultaneously existing in many, many different plains; in conversations that we did not finish; in social media, battles and debates, whether they are on our posts or someone else’s; in global issues, around the world; in fear and worries, both ourselves and others.

[01:01] Sahara
So, I invite you now to just reclaim all parts of you into this space. I am calling all parts of me into this space. I am calling back all of my soul fragments back into wholeness. My all parts of me, wherever they are right now, come back to me, and may I simultaneously release what is not mine to hold, so I can walk my truest, highest and fullest expression on this planet. A-ho and so it is! Welcome!

[01:53] Sahara
Again, it is a heavy moment in time and it’s funny because we’re all feeling this heaviness, but we’re all in totally different realities. But it’s almost like this impeding wait of part of ourselves wishing and hoping for things to be better and part of ourselves actually being in this amazing new reality that we have co-created for ourselves in the past year and a half, but then also this part of ourselves that is still so heartbroken for all of the parts of the world that seem to not be getting better or actually seem to be destroying and getting worse. So, we’re simultaneously grieving and celebrating, but that is life.

[02:36] Sahara
You know, I shared, last week, on the Podcast, about, if you feel overwhelmed, frazzled, completely just beside yourself with all of the weight of the world, to just take a step back and focus on one issue, one area, that you are completely passionate about, that you can devote yourself to, going beyond sharing and info graph on your Instagram stories and feeling sad about it for two days and then going on with your life – that’s not actually making a difference. Let’s be real!

[03:14] Sahara
For us to really get to know any of these global topics or local topics, or really any topic, we need to dive into it and see all of the perspectives and give it that time and energy, and nurturing, and watering that it takes, especially with things so complex.

[03:31] Sahara
So, when we are constantly overwhelmed by hearing this horrible thing that happened here and another horrible thing that happened there, and we are not giving ourselves time to experience the resolution that happens after periods of chaos, we completely fry out our nervous system.

[03:50] Sahara
So, if you’re feeling that right now, which I know a lot of people are, be sure to also listen to last week’s Episode because I really dive into that nervous system fry response that so many of us are having, of just, knowing all of these things going wrong around the world, but feeling so disempowered, and not even knowing how (even if) we can make a difference. And, I really dive into what true Activism is about. So, be sure to tune into that Episode right now, or maybe after this.

[04:23] Sahara
So, this conversation is one that I had with a friend of mine, Aileen, that some of you may know. She goes by the name of Lavendaire on her YouTube channel, where she has over a million subscribers, but in this conversation, we go beyond that. And she actually shares that she reached this point that her goal was to get a million followers, and she was working so hard and making all these videos and really sacrificing her free time and her play and her life, and just on this one-track goal of “I need to reach my one million subscribers on YouTube”, which, so many of us, we become that woman on a mission, right? But she hit those million people and found herself still feeling empty, and void, and purposeless, and burned out.
So, in this Episode we speak about content creation from a place of inspiration rather than burn out.

[05:20] Sahara
I know a lot of you listening want to (or are) content creators, so I ask her different questions about creating content and tips and the lessons that she’s learned building this YouTube channel over the past 4-5 years or so. And then we also go into the other side of it, of not doing something just for the point of having a goal and defining your productivity with your worth.
And she also shares this incredible tool that she found this form of mind-body medicine of Korean origin that has really helped her release trauma that she has been holding onto in the body and get clear on why she is doing the work that she is doing, and taking a step back to really dive deeper into herself so she can create from a more aligned place.
So, I think it’s just such a powerful lesson for all of us.

[06:14] Sahara
We’re so used to just the hustle, hustle, hustle, go, go, go, keep going forward, keep chasing the next goal, don’t stop, if you stop, someone else is going to get in front of you, so you’ve got to keep going, you’re already faster than everybody else – these are the narratives that we’re taught.
We watch a sports movie and it’s “He woke up earlier and slept less and sacrificed more and that’s why he’s a winner”, and we’re like “Oh shit, I guess I’ve got to do that”, but it’s like, is that actually your highest form of happiness? Is that actually what you want to leave this world with? And if so, go for it, keep doing it!
And I think there are periods of our lives that we’re just like, we’re on a mission, and then there are periods of our lives that we need to get into that Earth energy, the Kapha dosha that I speak about, to just take a step back and really look at ‘WTF’ actually matters! What actually matters to me? And is it the number of subscribers? Is it the number of dollars or is it what I do with those things? And that’s really what this conversation is about.

[07:17] Sahara
So, I hope you enjoy and I’ll see you on the other side!

______________________________________________________

[07:22] Advertisement
And before we get started, check-out these brand that make Highest Self Podcast possible!

1.
So, if you’re anything like me, you catch yourself late at night on your computer with all of these words and thoughts and things you want to research but it’s super late and you know you’re going to screw up your sleep and Ayurveda told you your circadian rhythm really matters so you’re secretly mad at yourself but you still want to keep going. Does this sound a little bit too specific?
Well, if so, I have the solution for you and those are Blu Blox Glasses. So, these are glasses that help block the junk light, all of the artificial light, the blue light that’s on our phones, our laptops, all these screens, even our light switches. I’ve actually changed all my lights to no longer have the blue artificial light that comes through, so it’s a lot more soothing for my circadian rhythm cycle. And wearing these Blu Blox Glasses has been so helpful, I sleep better, I wake up early easier and I don’t have that same digital eye strain.
And if you’re a little skeptical, all of these glasses use science-backed technology tested to ensure they work, unlike other Blue Light Glasses companies.
If you want to get your hands on a pair, head over to blublox.com/sahara for 15% OFF your first pair, and you can find that link in the show notes.

2.
Are you ready to finally discover your soul’s purpose, the big reason why you are here? Well, I’ve created a Free Mastermind experience for you where you will discover what your Dharma is and how it may be different from your career; how to navigate through having multiple passions, different ways to transition into your Dharma, ways to overcome people-pleasing and caring what other people think. My number one tool, whether knowing a decision is right for you and journal prompts on the different types of resistance and how they show up for us.
All of this is available for you for Free in my Discover Your Soul’s Purpose Masterclass! You can head over to iamsahararose.com/masterclass to join today. Again, that’s iamsahararose.com/masterclass and you can find that link in the show notes! I’m super excited to see you in there!

[09:35] End of Advertisement
_______________________________________________________

[09:37] Interview

[09:37] Sahara
Welcome Aileen to The Highest Self Podcast, it’s so great to have you back!

[09:40] Aileen
Yeah! Thank you, Sahara, so happy to be here!

[09:44] Sahara
And the first question I’d love to ask you is what makes you your highest self?

[09:49] Aileen
I think what makes me my highest self is the fact that I – there was a point in my life where I decided to live for me and it was completely a new concept, but that was probably around, right after graduating from college, and since then I’ve been on this journey of really discovering who my authentic self is and then being able to express myself creatively. And I’m still on that journey, obviously, but I think that’s what makes me my highest self, is that continuation of finding that.

[10:18] Sahara
And something we share is, we both come from Asian families and a lot of times there is pressure of your career looking like a certain way, your life looking like a certain way, not sharing too much of yourself, not drawing too far outside of the lines, and especially not going into spiritual, social media content creation, like we’re doing.
So, can you share a little bit about your own journey? Because, right now, for people who don’t know you, Lavendaire, your YouTube has over 1.4 million subscribers and you’ve been content creating for so many years now, but it hasn’t always been as easy for you as it is today. So, can you share a little bit more about your journey with this?

[10:59] Aileen
Oh yeah! So, growing up I was the type of child that was very obedient and I did what I was told, I did things to get the approval of my parents. You’re supposed to get good grades, you’re supposed to just be this good girl, perfect girl, just be that as much as you can, as an Asian child, and then you also get compared to your cousins and all these peers. So, I think I grew up thinking that was normal and thinking that, just my goal in life was to get straight As and go to a good college and get a good job, make money, the end. And all of that really started unraveling during the later years of college, and then around the point of your life when you’re trying to figure out what you want to do with your life. Because all of my life I followed the rules, I had the syllabus to life, I knew what to do, but when it was time to choose your career, I was lost and I was paralyzed because no one had the instructions of how to succeed in life. And over-experimenting with internships and this and that, I really realized that going to that office life, that corporate culture, was not for me. Deep down, I knew I was a more creative person and I wanted to do something with a bigger impact, but it was a tough few years because I was just struggling to figure out ‘Okay, if I don’t want this life, what do I want?”
So, I graduated college when all my peers were getting good, high-paying jobs, this and that, I was just like “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I like music, I like singing, so let me pursue that”. So, I pursued music and singing for a couple years and I actually started singing on YouTube as a hobby in high school. So, my experience with YouTube started in end of 2007, which is a long time ago. And so, throughout college, I had was a foot into the YouTube world, it was just a hobby at that point, but after graduating, I decided to pursue it full-time. And I just embarked on this journey of reading all these self-help books of ‘How do you find your purpose; How do you succeed in life’. I was just trying to figure it out and it was tough, I really just wondered around for a few years, trying acting, hosting, doing marketing, events. And eventually, I realized that “Hey, it’s been two years after graduating, I don’t have a normal job, but I’ve been doing all these interesting things, I’ve been meeting interesting, creative people in the film industry and in music, and that was really inspiring to me to realize that I survived not taking a traditional route, “Oh, it’s possible to create your lifestyle; it’s possible to create the life that you want to live and it’s possible to create that from scratch”, meaning like, not follow someone else’s rules, but to design every little detail for yourself.
And so, when I was really inspired about that concept, that’s what inspired me to start Lavendaire, because I wanted to have a platform to share all my lessons and just my journey in discovering that.
So, on Lavendaire, our tagline is ‘Life is an art, make it your masterpiece’ because I believe life is a canvas, each one of us is an artist. Obviously, it’s not an empty canvas, we all start with something, we start with our families, just the things that we’re born into, our gifts, our strengths, but you use everything that you have to, kind of, create from there, to build on top of what you have. So, that’s the journey of life, as an artist of life, and that’s what Lavendaire is all about.
So, I started Lavendaire in 2014, it’s been 7 years, a little over 7 years now, since I’ve been doing it, and that’s a whole other journey too.

[14:36] Sahara
Yes! I can imagine! And I love that because I think so many people can relate to that, of intuitively knowing that they don’t want to go down the beaten path, but thinking “Who am I to do something else? I’m not an expert in this” or “I don’t have a Justin Bieber voice or a manager” or whatever else the story that we have in our heads are of what makes people successful, especially as creatives.
So, it’s so inspiring to hear people, just like yourself, who just had this intuitive hunch within them that they wanted to design their own lives and then went on to teach other people how to design their own lives as well. And I have your journals over the last couple of years and all the practices that you go into that.
So, I’d love to know what tips do you have for someone who wants to share themselves on YouTube, social media in general, especially spiritual content, but they feel all of this imposter syndrome of “I don’t know. My friends from high school will think I’m a fake because they knew that former version of me” or “People in my church will make fun of me” or whatever else the story is, how can we overcome that?

[15:45] Aileen
Yeah. That was a transition I had to move through too, because I think if you want to do this, if you want to put yourself out there, you have to let go of what others think of you. You have to let go of how you think others will judge you because people are going to judge you, and it’s really about – you have to understand, people see the world the way they want to see it. So, if what you want to do, doesn’t fit in their box, then, obviously, it’s not going to make sense in their head, but you can’t live your life for other people in that way, you have to just create your own rules because they don’t have power over your life, unless you give them that power.
So, even for me, it was awkward because my friends knew me as this one version of Aileen in college, and then after, when I was pursuing all these creative routs, it was a transition and they had to get to know real me. But I think the most important part is knowing that it’s a challenge and knowing you have to equal nerval.

[16:42] Sahara
Totally! And how can we expect ourselves to remain the same version of ourselves from high school. We would never expect other people in our lives to remain the same, but for whatever reason, we feel like “Oh, well, I don’t want them to think I’ve changed”, as if changing is a bad thing.

[16:57] Aileen
Yeah!

[16:58] Sahara
Like when people say “Oh, you’ve changed”, it’s like “Thank Goddess I’ve changed!”. Imagine if I hadn’t ever changed and I was the exact person I was when I was 14 or whatever age they met you at. And sometimes I feel like we hold their opinion more than our own opinions, and it’s like yes, cognitively we know not to do this, but it really does hold us back.
So, did you ever get confronted by anyone in your life, or haters, or anything like that who said to you “I don’t like what you’re doing” or “You shouldn’t share your voice” or “Who are you to do this?”, and how are you able to overcome that?

[17:33] Aileen
I would say, surprisingly, most people didn’t say; the friends that I thought would judge me, they didn’t say those things to me. The biggest person in my life that was against this was my dad and I had to really argue with him, because he thought if I wanted to take a creative path, he’s like “Oh, artists are crazy people, you’re not going to make it!” I don’t know, he was just so against it, and so, that was something personal that I had to struggle with.
But in terms of judgment with friends, I realized that most of the time, either they kept it to themselves, if they thought it was weird, they didn’t personally tell me that, “Okay, that’s weird”, it was mostly in my mind’ it was mostly my own self-judging myself, in my mind being scared to post this video because I thought I was being weird, I thought I was being different. And I think most of this imposter syndrome, you think it’s other people but it’s really yourself, it’s your own critical voice in your head.

[18:29] Sahara
Absolutely, yeah! We think the whole world is going to fall apart if we share and it’s like, most people really aren’t even paying attention.

[18:34] Aileen
Right! People don’t care as much as we think they do.

[18:38] Sahara
Yeah, totally! And I had the exact same fear when my first Ayurveda book was coming out. I felt like everyone would protest on the streets against me, it’s like, no, no one cares at all that you’re not a doctor, that’s actually a part of who you are. And I think it’s sometimes, we think we need to be this expert because back in the day, the people you would see on TV were doctors of PhDs or whatever else, so we may have the story in our minds that “Oh, only if I have studied something for 20 years can I share about it; or maybe our parents have told us that story, but it’s not true because some people want to know about it from your point of view as, just a normal person who’s gone through the experience, and that’s what makes it relatable.

[19:18] Aileen
Yeah! I think social media has – it’s changed the way we get information from experts, right? Back then, when it was just mainstream media, TV, you would have a doctor on TV, and just these expert people telling you what to do, but now, because of social media, everyone has a platform, everyone has a voice. So, I think people like to connect with the real person who feels authentic, much more than someone who they think is an expert.

[19:43] Sahara
Absolutely! And it’s really coming down to who you are and who you’re here to serve and having your brand and your niche (and all of that).
So, for you, in your own process, because you have a very particular esthetic and branding, and that’s really something that you spend a lot of your energy and focus on – so, how did that come to be? did you channel what my branding is, did you start to share and get feedback? What did that process look like for you?

[20:09] Aileen
Yeah. I mean, I think at the base of it, I like pretty things, I like things to look esthetic, and so, obviously I tried my best to make videos and channel as pretty as possible, but the feeling I wanted with Lavendaire; I mean the reason I chose the name, it has multiple meanings. Because my hair was lavender at the time, I love the color. Number one, I like that lavender as a flower, the scent is very calming and soothing; and number two, it’s a color that is really pastel and pretty, and my brand is all about pastels and dreamy, pretty vibe. And so, I wanted Lavendaire to be a place where people come and then they feel all of those things.
And yeah, I think with the videos – obviously my first early videos were not that pretty but I just grew with my skills as the time went on. And yeah, I do try and be intentional about, always making everything I create beautiful because I felt like personal growth (the space) was very – at least when I started, in 2014, it was dominated by middle-aged white males. I was reading books by Tim Ferris, Jack Canfield, all those classic books. There was no person of color, there was very little women that I followed, talking about these topics and there was no one doing it in a pretty way. Toni Robbins – they have their own style, there was no one bridging these meaningful, inciteful lessons but also making it pretty.

[21:35] Sahara
I love that so much! And that’s really what it’s about, it’s about finding the void that we wish that we had; for you, you wish you had a self-help person who is really relatable to you, who was esthetic, who had these colors, your age, exactly. And sometimes we wish for those things but we wait for someone else to do it, but it’s just a matter of stepping in and leaning in “Well, why don’t I be the person?” And it doesn’t mean that there’s no other way of doing it, but this can just be like another piece of this beautiful quilt that we have of all of us. We’re really all here to raise consciousness, but every single person is doing it in their own way.

[22:15] Aileen
Yeah! And that’s a big thing too. I think a lot of people don’t start because they’re like “Oh, there’s so many people doing this same thing already, what am I going to add”, but you just being you, you are a unique person, you have a unique perspective, there’s always something new that you’ll be able to share and bring to the table.

[22:32] Sahara
I love that so much! So, before you get started, would you suggest that someone really nails what they’re branding is going to be, who they’re speaking to, what they’re talking about, have that all figured out first and then execute on that to keep it really on point? Or would you suggest someone just start posting, see what’s working and then move accordingly?

[22:53] Aileen
I think it would be more of the latter, but you have to have a mix of both. So, you have to start – obviously, if you know who your audience is – great! That’s really important to know, but even if you don’t know that yet, that’s okay, you can start posting things that make you excited and then you see what sticks. YouTube is really like an ongoing experiment. You post what you like and then, eventually, one type of content will stick and then you’ll create more versions of that content, and that’s how you grow.
Why I say it’s a mix is because as you go, you’re going to figure out your audience, you’re going to figure out your branding, all of that grows with time, right? But you also have to be really – I guess you have to be aware of your brand and stay true to it, because if you only post random stuff and you post what people want, it becomes, you lose the brand and you lose the focus. And I’ve seen a lot of YouTube channels do that where they just post what’s trending and they become a slime channel or a beauty hacks channel, and that’s not what they really wanted to talk about on the first place. So, yes you have to experiment, but then you have to know, at the core “What is it that I want to stand for; what do I want to talk about?”
I made a lot of decisions to not follow trends on purpose because I was like “Okay, people are asking for minimalism and decluttering videos, but that’s not the kind of channel I want to be”. There’s a lot of these trends that people wanted me to go more towards, but I pulled it back, I was like “No, I am person of growth and I’m going to stay in this brand, in this arena”.

[24:21] Sahara
I love that so much! I think it’s so important for us to recognize what is true for us, otherwise, yeah, I do know so many people who, they may go into whatever kind of content creation because they wanted to share their voice and then they end up kind of recreating the same job and content creation.

[24:40] Aileen
Yeah, they pigeon-hole themselves!

[24:43] Sahara
Exactly!

[24:44] Aileen
It happens a lot!

[24:45] Sahara
Yeah, everyone wants manifestation so I’m just going to talk about manifestation and then it ends up being everyone regurgitating the same content because they’re not adding their unique flare, it’s not coming from the heart, it’s coming from “Well, this is viral”. Or another thing that I’ve just kind of been thinking about is, when we speak about things that are very pertinent to right now, then that content might not be relevant a couple months from now or a couple years from now. Just for example, on social media, writing about the moon, the full moon or the new moon or whatever’s happening, at the time everyone might be really hyped up over it, but in a week, no one cares about what happened last week for the new moon because now they’re onto what’s going to happen next week for the full moon. So, I think it’s important for people to – you know, some people want to be astrologers or want to talk about politics or culture etc., but to keep that in mind, because sometimes I feel like what happens is, people want this, every single feed on my Instagram is about this and I should post about it too, but, especially on YouTube, it really is about the long game and it’s about people going to a video from years ago and still finding value, and if you want to create that you can’t just go after whatever the current moon or current trend is alone.

[25:56] Aileen
I love creating evergreen content. Evergreen just means you create it and four years later it’s still relevant, people can still watch it and get value from it.
And I do have a funny story about that, in 2019, because I started learning about astrology in 2018-ish and I got really passionate about it. I made a video in 2019 about astrology, how to real a birth chart, just basics and it didn’t do that well on my channel. I really put it in the folder of “Okay, let’s not talk about that again because it wasn’t that popular, and then in 2020, over a year later, that video just started blowing up on YouTube, and I think it’s just the trend of astrology was growing because of TikTok and this and that, and now that’s the most viewed video on my channel with, I think, over 7 million views (6 or 7 million views), isn’t it crazy?
So, YouTube really is a long game, you never know when something’s going to pop off.

[26:50] Sahara
That’s very true. And also, you made that content still in an evergreen way, how to read your birth chart. That is always very helpful, you’re not like “The full moon of April 2018”.

[26:59] Aileen
Yeah, no, it was evergreen.

[27:01] Sahara
Yeah, exactly. And it is very true, even on TikTok as well. You could do a TikTok that doesn’t do that well and actually a month later it starts popping off for whatever reason. So, when we shared it, people are interested in it, so you never know, whereas on Instagram that’s not the case, it’s very much that day and that’s it.

[27:21] Aileen
Yeah, that’s it, that doesn’t happen on Instagram.

[27:23] Sahara
So, for someone who wants to get out there on social, would you suggest for them to just pick one platform and really, really nail it; pick two platforms; what’s your advice on that?

[27:32] Aileen
You know what’s funny, because now social media platforms all want to be each other, Instagram and You Tube want to be TikTok, they all have the same things. So, I would say focus on one type of content and do it really well. And right now, it’s probably the TikTik shorts and reels type of video, that’s the type that is new and yes, it fast and you have less loyalty, but it’s a great way to get started.
I do believe in video as really important to nail down if you want to do social media because everything, every platform is prioritizing video, so.

[28:05] Sahara
Yeah, it’s kind of Polaris now how YouTube shorts. We have Instagram reels which are basically just TikToks. It’s funny because my Instagram reels do better than my TikToks even though I use the TikTok App to make it just because it has more features and it’s easier for me, but because I already had an audience on Instagram, and I feel like there’s less of that kind of content on Instagram, it does best, whereas on TikTok, it’s like “Oh, the 10.000 dance”, on Instagram they are like “You are great”.

[28:36] Aileen
It’s because on Instagram you’ve built your won audience. So, I do like that they’ve brought it over to Instagram.

[28:42] Sahara
Yeah! And I think the cool thing about TikTik, I see a lot of people sharing – you know, Millennials are, now, basically all on TikTok, and a lot of them are sharing the reason why, is, because on Instagram, everyone who they grew up with (their high school friends, college friends etc.) are all following them there, so they feel like they can’t really be themselves because they feel kind of, like we were talking about, stuck to this former version of themselves, whereas on TikTok, it’s basically all people who don’t know you, so you could be whatever version of yourself you want to be at that time, and you’re not going to be judged.

[29:14] Aileen
I think that’s why TikTok is more fun too, and that’s what appealed to me with TikTok, is that, no one you know follows you, so you could be whatever you want, and there’s freedom in that.
Actually, when I started my YouTube channel in high school, I started it because YouTube was such a small thing, as I was like “I’m going to post videos of me singing”. No one in my life knew that I liked to sing but it was freeing to be able to share it and express myself somewhere. And then, eventually, people found it. But I like the freedom of anonymity.

[29:43] Sahara
Totally! And I think that that’s what TikTok is offering, tough, just like every other platform, soon, people will find you everywhere and then that will shift too.
So, for you to do shorts, I mean, I don’t really know much about it, is there a strategy or anything you would suggest for people who would want to get on that?

[30:00] Aileen
I mean, it’s the same thing as TikTok and Instagram reels. So, I would just say if you’re creating that content for one of those platforms, just post it on YouTube Shorts because it’s relatively new, less people are posting on YouTube Shorts, from what I’m seeing. But obviously the type that I’m seeing on my Feed are the super viral types. I haven’t seen influencers talking about a topic show up on my YouTube Shorts, because they’re literally just prioritizing the top, most popular ones. So, I’m not sure right now, it’s still so new.

[30:31] Sahara
Yeah! I’ve been putting my TikTok reels on YouTube Shorts, but I really don’t get any views on YouTube Shorts, so I’m like “Is there a different strategy going on here?” but maybe I didn’t use some hashtags.

[30:43] Aileen
Yeah, I think there’s not enough people watching the Shorts, and they’re only watching the ones that show up on their home feed, and those are the ones about Kylie Jenner or Entertainment News, the very viral ones.

[30:56] Sahara
It’s good to know. Yeah, and as these things change, it is important for us – it is an opportunity, every single time something new like that happens, and I feel like the people who are the biggest, on whatever platform, are the first movers. It’s not a matter of them having the best content, but it’s about, they were amongst the first people on that platform, we see that right now, even with TikTok, and that’s why you just build, as the App builds, you build with it. So, I think, and I still think we’re at the very beginning of TikTok (for example) or reels, so I do suggest for anyone who’s wanting to get themselves out there, especially for spirituality or whatever else, to use these platforms while we still have access to it, even though I still feel like it’s never too late. Sometimes I have a story with YouTube, I’m like “It’s too late for me to be a YouTuber, everyone is already doing it”.

[31:47] Aileen
Let me give you my perspective on that because I’ve seen YouTube since 2007.
Okay, the people used to think “Oh, YouTube is so saturated, you can’t get it”, in 2014, people were already saying YouTube is already saturated, no one can start a new channel, and I started my channel in 2014. So many famous, very successful people have started 2015, 2016, 2017, it’s never too late, and I’ll tell you why I think that.
So, number one, when there’s a new platform, sure, the first movers have the advantage, but usually, the first movers have kind of a very rough, it’s not polished, editing is very simple. YouTube, in the beginning, was just webcams; TikTok, in the beginning, was just people talking, the lighting wasn’t even that great; but as time goes, the second wave, people’s qualities improve and so, if you want to join in on the second or the third wave of a platform, you have to have higher quality, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get in, you just have to, obviously, be on the same level or better than the people that are already there. And what I see with platforms is, whether it’s just phases – over years, people get tired of watching the same person, or they phase out, or whether that creator just gets stuck in the old way of creating, that they don’t catch up with the new ways. Those are the opportunities that new people have, to just come in the game and kill it, because I really do feel like creators have a life cycle, and obviously every creator’s life cycle is different, but I’ve seen YouTubers. YouTubers, 10 years ago, that were really popular, they’re not as popular now, their engagement has gone down for whatever reason it is. Maybe people are just tired of their content or don’t want to watch them; maybe they didn’t reinvent themselves. So, when those YouTubers die down, obviously there’s room for others to grow, so, it’s not a zero-sum game. Obviously, there’s enough of the pie for everyone, but I guess this will encourage people who haven’t started yet. I really see opportunity, even if you start tomorrow, if you do it well, you can still take over, you can still grow so fast, there’s so much opportunity.

[33:50] Sahara
That’s very true. Two years ago, I was speaking with a friend who wanted to start a podcast, and she felt that it was too late for me to start a podcast now, everyone’s been doing it for so long, and now her podcast is the biggest part of her business and her brand. And she started two years ago, so, had she had that story, then she wouldn’t have realized this massive ability that she had to reach people in this way. So, I think it’s a hundred percent true.
I mean, even right now, I’m sure there’s some YouTube videos, the account was made yesterday, and the video is going viral, it’s just really pertinent to the times. And I do see, yeah, like, sometimes with older content creators, it can get very stuck in a certain type of comedy, I feel like YouTube is all about comedy, but on TikTok, it’s just about lip-syncing to songs and people don’t find value.

[34:39] Aileen
With TikTok, it’s fast too. TikTok lip-syncing and dancing was so cool back then, but not it’s all, it’s not as cool, right?

[34:47] Sahara
Yes. And, as more people get on everything, and as consciousness raises, we’re going to naturally have more people who are going to want to have more high-vibe information wherever they are.
So, I do think, yeah, if you’re listening to this and you’ve been thinking about it, now is the best time to start.
And what is your advice for someone who is like “I don’t know what to call my YouTubes or the thumbnails” or all of those things, what is your advice for that?

[35:16] Aileen
For the name of your channel – I mean, obviously most of these things you can change it with time, so don’t sweat it, don’t have it perfect in the first go because you’re going to want to change it as you grow and evolve. But my tip for a name is to just pick something that’s easy to remember, that’s easy for people to spell. Don’t have a name with all these different letters or numbers that people can’t remember, make it easy, that if you tell someone your channel, they’ll be like “Okay, I’ll look it up”, you don’t have to explain it to them.
But, aside from that, I think anything goes.

[35:50] Sahara
I love that so much! And yeah, I think another thing is, maybe look at the type of content in your niche, or just what are the thumbnails that people use, or the kind of ways that they name things and kind of get inspiration of how it’s been done and maybe add your spin to it. Though, I’m sure there are people who create something totally – you know, for example, on TikTok, there is that guy who is like, did you see that, her was reading the funny conversations that people have online, the random fights people have? Like a text between someone, they’re like “Is this apartment available” and they’re like “Yes, it is” and then they’re like “Please, stop contacting me I’m not interested”, and it was just this ridiculous online conversation. And then he made it his niche to find these totally weird, out there, online conversations and turn them into songs. And this guy went viral over night, he went on the Jimmy Fallon Show, people loved it because it was just hilarious. We’ve all seen these random Facebook threads or Reddit threads that are just “Who the hell is writing these things”, but he just took something that we’ve all experienced, made it his own and shared it out.
And I feel like that’s the thing too, especially with social media, is just relatability. If you could just put two words or forms, something that I have felt or experienced, whether it’s in my spiritual journey or whatever else, so many people have a hard time sharing that. So, if they could just share your video, that is doing them a huge service of them trying to put to words something that they cannot.

[37:23] Aileen
Yeah. You’re so right, relatability is huge on social media, especially now. TikTok people share things that is an expression of themselves, instead of them writing a paragraph about how they feel, they can just share a video that you made, “Oh, this is exactly how I feel!” So, yeah, that’s such a good thing to keep in mind when you’re making content, like “Would someone share this because they relate to it?”

[37:45] Sahara
Absolutely! I always end up sharing things that are funny nostalgia, just because I’m really into 90s and 2000s nostalgia, and just these random things, being at the Border’s bookstore and listening to that Sounds of Nature album, I’m like “Oh my God, I remember that!” Even though that’s really not that relevant to my life now, I just want to share it with everyone because it just unlocked a memory, or a funny type of conversation you had with someone. And9 things like that, if you could put to words what people are experiencing, I think people would love that.

[38:17] Aileen
Yeah.

_____________________________________________________________

[38:18] Advertisement
We’ll take a quick break so I can give a shout-out to our sponsors.

1.
This Podcast is sponsored by Better Help. It is so important to have someone that you can openly talk to about your issues and what’s going on. Sometimes we use our friends as therapists, but that’s really not what they’re there for. Our therapist is our therapist!
And I know in my life, it has been beyond helpful to have someone hold space for me so I can openly speak about what’s going on in my mind, and have someone to reflect back my thoughts at me so I can find more clarity and overcome any anxiety that I have been feeling.
So, I am so excited to be partnering with Better Help. Better Help is customized online therapy that offers video, phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don’t have to see anyone on camera if you don’t want to. You can even message your therapist throughout the week for additional support.
It’s much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours. So please, don’t wait weeks to find someone to talk to. There has never been a more important time to invest in your mental health because you my friend are your greatest asset.
Again, this Podcast is sponsored by Better Help, and Highest Self Podcast listeners get 10% OFF their first month at betterhelp.com/sahara

2.
So, my words for 2021 are rest, relaxation and receiving. And I am supporting this with Organifi Gold Chocolate which is the best thing I’ve ever put into my mouth. And it really is so helpful because for me, at night, I really crave chocolate, and instead of eating a bunch of chocolate and feeling like crap in the morning, this actually supports me with my sleep. It has ingredients including Turmeric, Ginger, Reishi Mushroom, Turkey Tail Mushroom and Lemon Balm, with less than 1g of sugar per serving. It’s a 100% USDA organic, gluten-free, dairy-free, non-GMO, all the good stuff and it literally tastes like Heaven! I swear, try some with some hot almond milk and you are in for a treat!
If you’re ready to get your hands on some of your own, head over to organifi.com and use coupon code ‘Sahara’ for 20% OFF. That’s organifi.com with coupon code ‘Sahara’ for 20% OFF.

[40:40] End of Advertisement
_____________________________________________________________

[40:41] Sahara
So, I think another huge part of sharing yourself on social media is the inner work. And you have been sharing that you have been doing a lot of energy healing work just to clear any blocks that have been holding you back.
Can you share a little bit about what type of energy work you’ve been doing and how it’s been supporting you?

[40:57] Aileen
Yeah. So, starting from, I guess end of 2019 or 2020, I really feel like I’ve been in a slump, creatively and energetically, my motivation has just been lower since that time and I kind of lost my sense of purpose and passion for what I do, maybe because I’ve been doing it for so long. I think a big part of it was definitely creator burn out because creating videos every week for seven years, it gets tiring. So many creators burn out because we don’t have, we don’t know how to create a balanced structure in our lives, so it was a lot of things. Social media anxiety because of TikTok, that voice in your head that’s like “Oh, you should be doing more, you should be doing more TikToks”, that feeling that you’re not enough, ultimately. And so, I realized that, I mean, I had a lot left to heal, I just needed to take a step back.
So, really, for the past year, I have been really doing less, trying to do less in my work, trying to slow down and find ways to take better care of myself. And the Universe kind of led me to this healing practice that I’m now doing with my boyfriend Wilson.
So, my boyfriend that I’ve been for, I think 14 years (we’ve been together forever), he’s been dealing with chronic migraines for the past 5 years. So, it’s the kind of thing where we’ve seen so many different doctors, neurologists, allergists, Chinese doctors, this and that, and no one has really been able to pinpoint what it is, nor really give him anything that really helps heal. If anything, they give pills and medication to, you know, mask the symptom. And that’s something that is a whole other journey that, you know, I’ve been learning about the body and how emotions get held in your body. I really do believe that suppressed emotions, if you don’t release that energy, it will fester your, whether it becomes, like, as simple as having tense shoulders, tense neck, neck problems, back problems, and eventually it might turn into something more serious. But I really do believe in that; reading books like the “Anatomy of the Spirits” or “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay.
So, believing in these things has led me to find this healing practice called Body and Brain Yoga. It’s essentially a mix of, if you’ve heard of Chinese Tai Chi, Chi Gong and, I think it’s in the same family as yoga, but it’s this methodology, originates from Korea. But it’s all about unblocking wherever you have blocked energy in your body, whether it’s your heart chakra, your sacral chakra (where you hold emotions), and it’s part yoga, part body tapping part, just like, it’s part manipulating your body, doing exercises, and then part telling your mind “Okay, what emotions am I holding, what can I let go? I choose to let go”, using these reflective questions and affirmations.
Yeah, so, I’ve been doing these sessions (private sessions) with my boyfriend and what’s interesting is, he’s seen improvements right away. After, every time he does one of these sessions, he doesn’t have a migraine, which is huge, because he didn’t have a way to, kind of, stop the migraines before, so at least now he has a practice.
And then for me, I’ve been doing, it’s only been like a month and a half of doing these new exercises, but I feel like I have more energy in life, I feel like I just, I don’t know, I feel more clear. Whereas, two months, before I felt very lost and muddy, just not in the best energetic state, now I feel a lot more clear. Have you ever done breathwork? I’m sure you’ve done breathwork.

[44:38] Sahara
Yes.

[44:39] Aileen
So, a part of this exercise is this deep breathing, so you’re doing breathwork. And when I’ve done breathwork in the past, I get these clamped hands and tense cramped mouth, so I get the same sensations doing these healing exercises as well. So, I would put them in the same family.
But essentially, there’s been many crying sessions; there’s been many, physically feeling the energy, it just tenses up my nerves, but I take those physical symptoms as signs that inside I was holding so much; I wanted to be in control. Or just feelings of resentment that I didn’t realize that I had, I forgot that I had when I was a kid (towards my parents).
When you’re doing these exercises, the memories come back too. So, memories of childhood and middle school come up and I think once something comes up, you can work through it because now, my mature mind, knowing about psychology and all these things, I can work through it. But basically, I think before doing these exercises, you can’t work through it if you don’t know it’s there.
So, it’s been healing on, just, in a lot of ways and that has been really interesting to learn about this. And I feel like learning to release emotions from your body is something that everyone should know more about. We don’t realize we hold on to so much.
And even me, I felt like I had everything I wanted in life, my career was doing well, I had a great job, I really love my life. Everything on the outside, but I still held so much, inside, from childhood.
And, healing is a life-long journey, I feel like I’ve been healing from these things for the past 10 years, but more and more layers start to unravel.

[46:23] Sahara
Wow! And what is this practice called again?

[46:25] Aileen
Body and Brain Yoga.

[46:27] Sahara
Body and Brain Yoga.

[46:28] Aileen
You can just look that up. They have a bunch of studios in the US, but they’re based in Korea. And the founder’s name is Il Chi Lee, I actually met him in 2015, which, I knew about this practice in the back of my mind, but I reconnected with him recently (a couple months ago), which is why I was like “Okay, let me just try doing this”.
A new book, that he wrote recently, is called “Water Up, Fire Down”, so I would recommend that to you and your listeners, because that teaches the basic energetic principle in Eastern healing, that you want to have water energy in your head and fire energy in your belly – meaning, you want to have a cool head and a warm belly, that’s the ideal, I guess, energy state to keep everything circulated.
Most people have fire energy in their head, they have a hot head, whether it’s anger, stress, anxiety, overthinking, that’s all energy in your head.
I had trouble sleeping and now I can sleep better because trouble sleeping is because you have too much overthinking in your head, just too much stuff going on in your head. Whereas you’re supposed to bring that hot fire energy down into your belly area, which is where your gut is, your stomach or just your vital organs are all in that belly area.

[47:40] Sahara
This completely relates to Ayurveda because in Ayurveda, our digestive system is literally called digestive fire, your ugny, and when you have a strong fire, you can digest food and emotions and everything in life. But the difference is, in Ayurveda, I’ve never heard of water being in your mind because air is the quality of the mind but it’s also very similar of it’s to be cool and to allow space, which is very similar to water.

[48:06] Aileen
I think, the concept, it doesn’t have to be water, but just like a cool head and a warm lower body. I think that’s why, in Asian culture, they drink warm drinks, you want to keep everything down there warm. Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s all from the same family, just taught in different ways.

[48:22] Sahara
Yes, exactly! Yeah, I mean, Ayurveda, Chinese medicine, they’re all interconnected, which moves to Korea and then macrobiotics in Japan. So, that’s amazing and I think it’s so important. Sometimes these different practices show up in our lives and they’re exactly what we need. And, you may have heard about it a couple years ago, but then you can find your way back to it.
For me, right now, though I really want to try this too, but breathwork! Something I’ve been doing on and off for the past 7 years or so, but I have been making it my daily practice now. And I feel the same thing, that wave of energy and sometimes it can feel like orgasmic energy and other times it can just feel like this cramp and release, also depending on the type of practice.

[49:06] Aileen
Do you listen to something guided or do you, just kind of, breathe on your own?

[49:10] Sahara
I was breathing on my own, this thing, I kind of call it Goddess Breathwork, that I’m inhaling and I’m undulating or body-rolling forward, and then exhaling back, or doing it in circles. So, I’ll do that 55 or so times; hold it on the inhale and then release it; and hold it (for the first time) one minute; the second time maybe two minutes, sometimes even three minutes, kind of like a Whim Hoff breath (very similar to that). So now, I’m trying to learn more about breathwork, so now I listen to different (I find on YouTube), different places, Kundalini ones, I’m just trying different ones to see, I love this practice so much, are there other styles of it that I like. And I really like Whim Hoff’s, but the energy of it can be quite intense for me, like “Come on, you got this” energy. And what I’m needing in my life right now, but it’s very similar to that, just more feminine fluid way.

[50:08] Aileen
I love that, that sounds so interesting! If you have any breathwork resources or links, send them my way because I feel like, I’ve done it in-class. You know Leor Alexandra, she has a breathwork thing that I have, so I’ve done hers, but I don’t know how to do it on my own, I need some sort of guidance, and it’s hard to find good ones.

[50:28] Sahara
Yeah, so a Holi tropic breathwork is those 45 minutes – 1-2-hour journeys where you’re inhaling/exhaling really fast through the mouth and that’s when you get the lobster hands and you cramp up and people cry, and that’s very intense – that’s not the style that I love. In my research of breathwork and in, kind of, knowing Ayurveda, when you’re inhaling through your mouth, it can trigger your nervous system and make your body feel like you’re in a state of stress, which is why you can have these really intense experiences. But for me, I feel like, I know my body’s already in a state of stress, so I want to do things that bring my parasympathetic nervous system…

[51:06] Aileen
Yeah, a little on the left, calm down.

[51:07] Sahara
Yeah, so, inhaling through your nose rather than through your mouth triggers your body to go into that parasympathetic nervous system relaxation. However, you can do the breathing in a faster way, for a shorter amount of time, but you still have that beautiful sense of release when you’re exhaling and holding your breath. And then you can be surprised by how long you can actually hold your breath for, and not actually need more air. And then, every time that I do kind of feel like “Oh, I need to breathe”, my mind is telling me I need to breathe, I swallow my saliva and just swallowing your saliva tells your body you’re okay. And this is something I actually learned in mermaid school because we have to free dive in mermaid tails, but we have to hold our breath for a really long time, and she holds her breath for 5 minutes, 6 minutes, and she’s doing it by just swallowing her saliva because it’s your brain telling you, you don’t have enough air, but actually, your body can go for quite a long time without it. Of course, if feel like you’re going to die, breathe, it’s not a competition, but when you are having that – especially the exhale, because for people like us, we are much better at inhaling and we’re not as good as exhaling because the exhale is the release of energy, it’s the letting go, it’s the surrender, whereas the inhaling is the taking in and achievement. And this is also related to the energy of orgasm; an orgasm comes from that exhale. So, people who may have short orgasms or a quicker, but shorter orgasm, it’s because they’re inhaling more, or if you’re getting the lobster claws in breathwork, it’s because you’re not exhaling, you’re inhaling more. So, it’s so fascinating, just how you breather is how you live.

[52:51] Aileen
Right! That’s huge!

[52:53] Sahara
Yeah, it’s so cool because in the past, I knew about it, I never took it seriously, and then things just find you again when it’s the right time.

[53:02] Aileen
Yeah. I think it’s crazy that just breathing differently can change your body in these ways. It’s so simple, right? People are into plant medicine and this and that, and not that I’m against it, I also tried that too, but just breathing will do that to your body; just breathing is a way to heal.

[53:18] Sahara
Yes, absolutely. I feel the same way, I have nothing against plant medicine, I know that it can really help people, but for me, I’m more interested in how can I get my own body at this point, into these states without needing anything outside of myself, because we can naturally release our own DMT. DMT exists inside of us it’s just getting to that right state.
And I also recently did a Chi Gong class. I’ve done it before but I think my Pitta energy was like “I need more of a stretch or something harder”, but what I love about it is, it’s just really, it’s so grounding and it’s so good for people who might have a harder time with meditation, because if you’re just sitting, your thoughts are going crazy. It’s kind of giving you something to focus on, but it’s also very relaxing and calming.

[54:06] Aileen
Yeah.

[54:07] Sahara
Yes, love that! It seems like the practice you do, also uses tapping, as well?

[54:11] Aileen
Yeah, body tapping. It’s not EFT Tapping, which is slightly different, but it’s literally just tapping your chakras or wherever it’s blocked, and deep breathing while you’re doing that.

[54:22] Sahara
I love that! Yeah, I went down this EFT rabbit hole too, two years ago. So, it’s beautiful, there’s so many methods to heal our bodies, it’s just sticking to something and then moving to something else. I think it’s also great for people to hear that. You have a successful YouTube channel; you have over a million subscribers and you’re feeling like “What’s next? I’m feeling creatively stuck in my purpose”. I think a lot of us have this idea of like “Oh, well, once I get it up and going, I’m going to be good forever’, but it’s to continue to re-check in with ourselves and see what’s in alignment with us at this moment.

[54:59] Aileen
Yeah! It’s realizing that you will change! Because my goal, up until that point, was “I want to have a million subscribers on YouTube”, that was my big goal, and once I reached it, I’m like “Okay, what’s next?” Of course, I always have these small goals, but I don’t know, I just really had to re-check myself and also allow myself to change and to evolve, like, maybe I’m not going to do this forever, maybe something – I don’t know, just be open again, I feel like I’m starting from another beginning. Once you’ve reached a certain point, you start over again, to the next level.

[55:32] Sahara
Absolutely! And allowing that process of evolution and it being a part of your journey to take you to the next thing.

[55:39] Aileen
And sometimes it’s scary because you don’t know what’s next, there’s a lot of uncertainty, so, yeah, that’s part of it.

[55:46] Sahara
And I think, too, it also shows that no matter how many followers, subscribers etc. you have, if we don’t address that deeper fear within us that feels like not good enough; let it be irrelevant; there is another platform, “I’ve got to get on that other platform, people will forget about me if I don’t!” Even if you have a million followers, that could still happen, it’s something deeper that you might not even, still, consciously be aware of that’s putting that in your mind.

[56:13] Aileen
I would say, most creators that get to success, it’s because of an unhealthy, there’s something unhealthy going on. You know the people who are super ambitious? It’s because you have a sense of lack and lack of self-worth or you need to be productive to prove your self-worth, you need to succeed to prove that you’re worthy to other people. And sure, it’s a very productive trauma or issue that you have, but eventually it’s something that you’re going to have to heal.
And this is why a lot of creators face mental health issues, because it’s a very anxiety-inducing career, it’s very easy to get your mind into this comparison, into this “I’m not enough, I should be doing more (this and that)”, and so, ultimately, you are in charge of your health and your mental health as well, so yeah. Even though it’s productive, it’s still something you have to heal.

[57:04] Sahara
True, a hundred percent! I was reading Lilly Sing’s book, and she was sharing the same thing, how she basically didn’t hang out with friends or have a social life or hobbies, or really anything for so many years, it was just her, by herself, recording these YouTube videos, constantly, and then she would see how one would go and then she was on to the next.

[57:24] Aileen
You get kind of addicted to the highs of the instant feedback, how many views, how many likes, what are people saying? And then, if you’re creating constantly, it’s a non-stop feedback loop and it just can’t be healthy.

[57:41] Sahara
Yeah! And I think that it really does come down to our level of consciousness at that moment of time because that can happen really in any career. There are people in finance who are going after the next goal; people that are in law; people at the grocery store; people in any job could continue to try to be the best and compete and hit that accolade, and content creation is no different than that. It really comes down to what is our mindset behind it. And I think a lot of people on social media, they started it as a passion and they never expected it to get to where it is now, so they don’t have those boundaries, they don’t have a work-life balance, this is just who they are and they’re pouring everything into it, until they’re realizing that “Hey, maybe this isn’t the lifestyle that I really want, but people depend on me and I need to keep showing up” and it creates this co-dependency with your audience sometimes. So, I think it’s so important to back away, if you’re in that cycle right now, and really asses “Who am I at this moment in time and how do I want to show up?” And if it’s not feeling true, what is the point?

[58:44] Aileen
Yeah! I think it’s about recognizing what do you truly need in your life? What’s a false ego need vs. what is a true need for your soul? So, yeah.

[58:56] Sahara
And I think, too, I’ve thought about that for myself, because my dad, also, was the person in my life who’s really like “You’re not going to be able to do this! You need to get a normal job” and always wanting to please him as well, and that definitely did create in me this desire to achieve and create and be successful, and all of the things, plus immigrant, plus Capricorn, all of it.

[59:18] Aileen
Yeah! For me, it was like, in my career at least, I needed to prove to my parents, and to my peers, that I could do this, it was like “I need to prove my worth, prove that I was successful”. And then I did it, I succeeded, and yet, that inner part – I guess the people around me stopped caring because they’re like “Oh, great”, they’re happy for you at this point, but something in me still had that, still wanted to hustle and work so hard, and then my mind, or I would just be like “Why am I stressing? I have enough money, I have enough of everything, why am I still stressing and suffering over just everything in this career? I don’t have to”, but I was. I was trying to let go of the part of myself that needed to achieve, that needed to be productive, that needed to prove something.

[1:00:06] Sahara
And it’s like, because at that moment of time, it’s all we know. You got from point A to point B by working your ass off and being on it, of doing the trends. And also, I believe we chose our parents for a reason; we have chosen those parents to put that drive and that ambition and that grit within ourselves because it is a necessary part of our soul’s path to share this with the world. However, what took us from point A to point B will not take us to point C, which is the next evolution of “Okay, you can relax, you don’t need to prove to your parents anymore, you’re not trying to make it out of nowhere. You’re okay, you’re safe! Now, how do you want to use your energy?” But then we have the story in our minds that “Well, I’m successful right now because I worked my ass off, so if I stop working my ass off, then I’m no longer going to be successful and everything is going to fall down. But it’s just, you’ve built that first level of the structure and now you don’t need to be building.

[1:01:06] Aileen
Yeah, I also think that because you’ve been doing it one way for so many years, your body is used to functioning that way. So, if you’re trying to do it any other way, your body is rejecting you, like “No, you shouldn’t be taking a break!” I feel like it’s literally engrained in your body and it’s a habit, you have to learn to release that habit and build a better, healthier one.

[1:01:27] Sahara
Totally! And it’s totally, somatically, in our bodies and in the way that our brains have conditioned ourselves. For example, when we’re starting our journeys, we read “Okay, how do I have the most optimal morning routine? Okay I’m going to get up and I’m going to do all of these things, and by 8am, I’m going to more than the general public has done in the whole day”. So, we’re training ourselves to get out of laziness, to get out of procrastination, to get out of being “average” to be this super achiever, and then we’re like “Wait, is this the vibe that I want to continue or do I want to create that from a place of ease and abundance and flow?” But then parts of our brains are like “Yeah, right, that’s never going to happen! You have a lot!”

[1:02:12] Aileen
Yeah, this inner battle!

[1:02:14] Sahara
Yeah, exactly! And sometimes too, I’m really retraining my brain on this exact thing right now and because we’re also the creative type of people, I keep having these ideas for things, so I’m like, on a walk, trying to take a break and then I’m like “I’m going to make a new 10-day audio course, work-out.”

[1:02:32] Aileen
Yeah, I know what you mean.

[1:02:34] Sahara
Yeah, and then I’m like “Okay, is this coming from this genuine hit creativity of this aspects of what I’m meant to do “or is it coming from “I have a really hard time having free time for myself, so I need to come up with some productive thing to make this walk “worth it?” Do I need to keep creating new things or can I just stick with what I’ve created and water that seed and let it go and, I don’t know, enjoy my life? What a radical thought!

[1:03:03] Aileen
Yeah, I think, especially now, as I grow older, it’s all about finding the joy and calm in my life. I think before, it was not about calm, it was about do as much as you can in a day. But now it’s really, the busier I am, the more time I have to make to just relax and do nothing, I need peace in my life right now.

[1:03:24] Sahara
Totally! It’s so funny you say that because for so many years, my New Year’s resolution or my right was expansion, growth, abundance, and I’m like “Can I just have some peace?” And I used to think when peace was like an old person’s resolution, like “Who wants peace? I want growth and expansion in every way” and now I’m just like “Just give me some space on my schedule, and that would be great!”
And then the thing is, too, that I’m realizing is that the only gate-keeper to my schedule and my time, it’s me. The people who are super busy, doing all these things, that’s a them decision, that’s a nervous system decision, that’s a “I don’t know another way to operate” decision. So, right now, I am in that space, now, can I remain in this space without going back into my old way of filling things up?

[1:04:12] Aileen
Yeah. I really thing, even as a culture, I see this trend that we are really letting go of this idea of you have to be super productive, productivity as a trophy, you know. So, I like that trend because we need to live more balanced lives, we need to allow our bodies to get into that parasympathetic, relax states, not just to heal but that’s our normal, I guess, we need that state to digest (rest and digest phase), whereas, most of us are always in this stress and anxiety ridden state.

[1:04:45] Sahara
And then, too, understanding that we can actually create our best content from that place because – someone might be listening, I know a former version of me would be like “Oh, you guys are already successful, so I have to hustle my ass off until I’ there and then I can rest and chill”. But the thing is, your best, and your truest, and your highest self is only going to come through when you’re in that authentic, relaxed space.

[1:05:09] Aileen
Yeah, I think that’s the magic too, it’s like, you think you’re doing your best when you’re working really hard, but the real you, that can create your best work, is the you that’s more calm, and relaxed and peaceful.

[1:05:21] Sahara
Yeah! And I think right now too, in this post-Covid quarantine world, we’re actually rethinking “Do we need a 40h work week? Do we need this structure that we’ve only known to do things?” I think they’re seeing an average worker wastes 3 hours a day at an office, just going on Facebook or continue going to a water cooler or whatever else – so, what are the ways that we can actually create more without having to spend all of this time that we think we need to spend?

[1:05:54] Aileen
Yeah. It was such an archaic way, I think that 40-hour work week, going to the office is from, I don’t know, was it from the industrialization era, like factories? Because I know schools were created based on that timeline, the 9-2 or 3 school system was because people worked during that time. But we have the internet, with technology, all the tools now, it’s about time that we updated.

[1:06:22] Sahara
Very true! I think it also was, back then, we all worked in factories, so every hour we were working, it was more production, whereas now, that’s not the case because most people are working using computers and their brains. And the brain isn’t something that can compete equally at all hours of the day.

[1:06:42] Aileen
That’s also a huge reason why productivity is so engrained in our culture (capitalism), working hard, getting the most output out of the people as possible. We’ve been trained in school and we’ve just been taught by society “It’s all about output, it’s all about what you can create, just how productive you are”. And I think, instead of how much I can output, is just allowing yourself to just be, and of course you’re going to create naturally, but not forcing it, not seeing yourself as a machine, it’s not about optimal productivity.

[1:07:16] Sahara
Yes! I really think that’s what we’re coming back to. And so many people, finally, are now questioning – we’re questioning our work systems; we’re questioning our school systems; and I do think there’s going to be a collapse of many of these systems, but it’s a necessary one to pave the new way of being, which we’re simultaneously doing, it doesn’t have to be we’re all in one. I mean, the new world is already here, we’re already living it, we all have access to it if we just shift into that timeline. However, it does take dropping our old way of thinking, relating, believing, to be exactly where we are but on a different timeline.

[1:07:58] Aileen
Yeah!

[1:07:59] Sahara
Yes! Exciting times! So, do you have any final tips, words of wisdom, you want to share with people who want to share their spirituality with the social media webs, but also, they don’t want to burn themselves out, where we have been? What would you suggest?

[1:08:16] Aileen
I would say the most important thing is learning to just to let go of the fears that you have, just any blocks, because just like I said earlier, everything stopping you from becoming your best self, from doing your best work, is yourself. You think it’s the people around you, you think it’s your environment or circumstances, it’s not, it’s you. So, just working on unravelling “Okay, what is this negative self-talk?” or “What is this limiting belief? Is this limiting belief true? Can I do this?” I don’t know, just work through your inner world and if you can unravel and release some of those unnecessary fears, then that will be so powerful. Ultimately, your goal is to just be your authentic self because authenticity – number one, is what resonates with people online, and number two, you’re going to have so much fun creating from that place rather than creating from a place of lack or a place of “Oh, I need to do this or else”. The best place is just from your true self. If that makes sense.

[1:09:20] Sahara
I love that so much! And questioning your beliefs, this is so major! I love the Byron Katie “The Work”, I don’t know if you’re worked with that, but it’s huge for me this year, but is it true? Who would I be if I didn’t believe this? I reverse it and so many of the thoughts in our heads are bullshit y’all, don’t believe them!

[1:09:41] Aileen
Yeah, and really unravel them, these are thoughts that you maybe had as a child or maybe you felt unpopular in school and you’re like “Oh, I’m not cool enough, I’m not pretty enough’, all of these thoughts, they originate somewhere in your history, but ultimately, they came from an experience outside of you. Those are not true, it’s not the true you! So, yeah, dive deep and unravel, do your best and have fun!

[1:10:06] Sahara
Yes! And I really believe our social media is a reflection of our inner truth. And as much as we try and come up with the branding and the this and the that, it really does come down to our inner vibration, and that’s always what people will feel above all, even if we’re not saying it. You could be saying all the right things, but you can always feel someone’s resonance from the unspoken. So, if you want to be “successful”, become your inner version of success! Yes!
So, where can listeners further connect with you, check out your YouTube channel, podcast, Instagram, all the things?

[1:10:41] Aileen
Yeah! Find me on YouTube and Instagram at Lavendaire; my podcast is called The Lavendaire Lifestyle. And I’ve had Sahara on the podcast as well, a while ago.

[1:10:51] Sahara
Yes! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us today!

[1:10:55] Aileen
Thank you! I had so much fun!

[1:10:57] Sahara
Thanks!

[1:10:58] End of Interview
____________________________________________________________

[1:10:59] Sahara
I hope that you enjoyed that conversation and it reminded you to really zoom out of whatever it is that you’re doing, whether you’re in the middle of chasing a goal or you’re in the hustle, you’re in the grind, or you’re on autopilot, or you’re just not really sure what your next move is, to just get out of that constant “What’s next, what’s next” and to look at “What do I really want to create from my heart? Where is my heart guiding me? If I could do anything, what would it be?”

[1:11:32] Sahara
And this is really why living your dharma, your soul’s purpose, is so important, because it goes beyond just your career and what you do and your projects, it’s really being the fullest expression of your soul. And there is no greater feeling than knowing that you are living on this planet for the very reason why you’re here! That is greatest form of gratification and it goes beyond, again, any form of doing, it’s actually into the being.

[1:12:03] Sahara
So, if you are curious about discovering your dharma, I invite you to join me in my Free Discover Your Soul’s Purpose Masterclass. You can head over to the link in the show notes, or iamsahararose.com/masterclass to join that, it is absolutely free.
I share my process on how to discover your soul’s purpose and I’m so excited to share it with you. Again, head over to iamsahararose.com/masterclass and that link is in the show notes.

I’ll see you in the next Episode! Namaste!

Episode 385: Content Creation Through Inspiration, Not Depletion with Aileen Lavendaire
By Sahara Rose