Not think positively?! What?! Then how will I *MANIFEST?!* In this episode I go into why “negative” thoughts are actually extremely helpful for two reasons, which I outline on this podcast. Sometimes our fears, concerns and anxieties are warning us of something underlying and when we go into them, we can find immense healing, clarity and awareness. I also share two personal stories of how this has shown up in my life and how I found my way through it. I hope this episode gives you permission to delve into your shadows and find the alchemy that happens when you are radically honest with yourself.
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Episode 315: Why You Shouldn’t Always Think Positively
By Sahara Rose
Namaste. It’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to The Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes You, Your Soul’s Highest Evolvement.
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I invite you to just stop for one second right now, and breathe. Let’s together just take a deep breath in and exhale it out, sighing anything you’re holding onto, shaking it off.
And one more time, deep breath in, and exhale it all out.
And last time, just releasing anything you’re holding onto – [inhale] – inside out.
The energy has been big. I feel like I’ve been saying this all of 2020, but that’s because it has been.
So, I’m giving you full permission right now to just feel it all. If it feels like you’ve been putting out one fire after the next, maybe that is because you have been. Breathe.
So we’ve all been moving through many decisions right now; huge decisions that we’re making; decisions about where we’re going to live, about our careers, about our relationships, about our identities – how we’re going to move forward. These are big decisions that will change the entire trajectory of our lives and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed by the immensity of it all: and it’s normal to have fears, concerns, anxieties that come up.
So, I want to give you full permission to know that you don’t always have to think positively. We see this so much in the “manifestation” space – think positive so positive things show up in your life. And while I do agree that when you think positively you see better outcomes and make better decisions, I also believe that sometimes, our fears, concerns, anxieties are warning signs for us of something that is underlying it.
So what I have found is that there are two useful threads that you can actually find if you go into whatever it is that you were fearful, anxious, or concerned about.
Now, those two threads are:
1. Something that it is healing.
2. Something that you can take action on.
So, I’ll share two examples from my own life that have showed up for me this year.
So, the first one, which is something that ended up being healing, was when Coronavirus kicked off, as I’ve shared on this Podcast, my mom and my brother had it, early March when we didn’t really know much about it, and I was very afraid for my dad who is 69 years old, diabetic, kidney stones, all sorts of health issues. So he seemed to be that target demographic that if he were to get Coronavirus, based off of what the media telling me, that he would potentially die. So I was very scared of losing him and I would try to not think about it – it’s going to be fine; he’s going to live; it’s going to be fine – but do I really know that? No! So, I’m just kind of telling myself, putting on this band aid of everything’s going to fine, even though, truly, even if I tried to think as positively as possible, would that affect him and his life, and his Karma, and his decisions? – No!
So, I had to get honest with myself of “What is underneath this fear?” The Fear of Death (which I did a Podcast on, called “Overcoming The Fear of Coronavirus”).
So, when I went into this fear of “Why am I afraid of losing him?” Well, it’s attachment to his physical body – why am I attached to his physical body? Well it’s because, deep down inside, I feel like we didn’t have the relationship that I wish we would have had. “Okay, well, why is that?” It had to do with the fact that he wasn’t totally there in my childhood, which underneath that had to do with the fact that he never had a father to be there for him; underneath that it’s the fact that in the entire lineage in Middle Eastern Culture it’s not that fathers are driving you to soccer practice. This is a very new Western thing that I grew up with, but no one else in my lineage did. I’m the first person born in the US, so I was setting an expectation for this relationship with my father that was not the cultural norm, especially at that time.
So when I saw that I ended up having compassion for it, and understanding where it came from, and then my anger towards him dissolved and then my sadness of “Well, if he were to die, then I would have left with this, a bit of anger there” that dissolved too. So by going into my fear, my fear of losing my father, I ended up doing all of this deep healing that was from my childhood; from my ancestry; from my lineage; and now that fear is no longer there, but also our relationship is so much better.
So, from going into that fear rather than ignoring it, rather than try to positively think about it and put a band aid on it, I was able to some deep, deep, deep healing that way more impacted the trajectory of my life than if I just tried to think positive and ignore it; and ignored the underlying issue of why I was so fearful.
So, the second example I want to share with you is the awareness of something you can take action on.
So, many people right now are, especially in my Community, are moving. People are getting hits to set the grid in different locations on the Planet and it is very overwhelming of all of these ideas that we have of what we want this new place to look like – we want to grow our own food; we want to be close to Water; we want Spiritual Conscious Community near us; and all of these different concerns; and on top of that, you know, I’m married and some other people are in relationships, and sometimes you and your partner don’t want the same thing. So you might be super-down to move to Bali tomorrow, but your partner might not be; and on top of that the border’s not even open. So, that’s not even a possibility. So there has been a lot of scattering of that.
So for me, of trying to understand “Okay, where am I going to live?” and also the awareness of, in my ancestral lineage, from the healing, immigration created a bit of a scar there; the fear of not being safe where you’re going to live; fear of having to migrate because something bad is going to happen to your country – that’s the reason why both of my parents left, and my mom as a refugee. So, that fear was inside of me, it was inside my ancestry, which creates a bit of a shift in your DNA. So, instead of ignoring “Okay, I’m super-afraid of my safety right now” instead of ignoring that and being like “Everything is going to be fine, I’m all good, I’ll just stay right here where I am and keep doing my life” and kind of ignore the fires around me; ignore what’s happening in the news; ignore what’s happening with everything; I might actually go into “What is it that would make me feel safe?”
So, for me, it was the ability to grow my own food; the ability to swim in the Ocean (that’s to me such a big stress reliever in my life); somewhere that I would – let’s say we all have to stay put for the next year and we can’t travel at all – somewhere I would like the climate; I would like the Winter there. You know, I had all of these things of, things I would really need – So by being able to go into that, I was able to take action; action on choosing where I would live, and then action on things that might not even happen. For example, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m choosing to grow my own food, just because that makes me feel safe (and anyways I like to grow my own food). So, by going into the fear, I was able to actually set up all of these things in my life that make me feel safe and supportive, more so, than if I just said the mantra “I am safe, I am safe” and ignore the underlying fear that was present.
So, instead of negative emotions or negative thoughts, I want you to think of them as Unmet or Potential Needs. Okay, so they are Unmet or Potential Needs.
So, an Unmet Need might be, for example, let’s say you are feeling a lot of anxiety around “I don’t know how I’m going to home-school my kids this year. This is crazy, I can’t work, they’re needing me on Zoom, I feel like I’m a tutor all the time, this is too much.” So, instead of ignoring that and being like “You know what, I should just be grateful that I have my kids here!” Yes, you should definitely be grateful! And there is an Unmet Need – the Need is to feel more supported!
So, maybe you have a group of moms that take turns, that one day the mom is the tutor for a couple of the kids; or you set up something with your partner; or your mother or mother-in-law; or something to help you feel more supported in this area of your life, because if you ignore it, that Unmet Need is not going to go away. In fact, it’s going to continue to grow, and grow, and grow, and then the resentment will build, the fear of not being supported and not being met will be there; and these are how our Shadows indefinitely grow (and this why this is called Shadow Work) because these Shadows are these emotions and these thoughts that we have in the shadows and the corners of our mind that are unmet. So that’s an Unmet Need.
And then the Potential Need is, for example, this idea that “I want to grow my own food!” Again, I don’t know if I’m going to, ever, have to live off of this food, I certainly hope not because I really don’t have the best green thumb, but it’s a Potential Need that for some people, that helps us feel that if anything were to happen “At least I got my tomatoes, I got my cucumbers, I got some herbs, I’m going to make a salad and live off of that!”
So, it’s a Potential Need, and for some people that helps them feel safe; for some people, they want to know that they have cash on hand; for some people; they like to know that they have a passport from another country; it’s going to look very different for every single person; some people like to have earthquake kits, that doesn’t mean you’re manifesting an earthquake happening, that doesn’t mean that you’re hoping an earthquake happens, but that means that there is a Potential Need that could be there, and you knowing that that earthquake kit is there, helps you feel more safe. So, therefore, those negative thoughts are no longer present because even in the worst case scenario, you know that you will be the best prepared possible.
So this, by the way, can go into many different trajectories too. This is not saying “Think about all of the worst case scenarios and plan for those” because at the end of the day, we can’t control everything and we just don’t know, and that could take us into the Doomsday prepping and all of that, which is just an unhealthy way to live. However, if there’s something that’s continuing to show up for you, the invitation is to look into what that is rather than to bypass and ignore it.
So sometimes it leads to change; it leads to taking action; it leads to healing; and sometimes you actually find yourself exactly back at the decision that you already made, but this time you have more clarity towards it. So, both are extremely helpful for understanding the path that you are on is optimal for you.
So, for example, let’s say you are thinking of moving to Colorado, and you’re thinking about it, you found a place, you’re excited for it, but you’re kind of having these thoughts of “Maybe this is not the right place; maybe I want to be closer to my family; maybe this; maybe that” So instead of ignoring it and being like “You know what, I should just go; I don’t know how long I have; I should just go!” well, that’s going to make you make a hasty decision and then eventually, that fear that’s causing you to even question it in the first place, is going to show up for you in a larger way.
So, you might go into “Okay, what are all my fears? Okay, I’m not close to my mom; I’m not close to the Ocean” whatever it is for you with that decision, and you might go through it and still realize that it still is the best decision based off of the options and circumstances that you are in. Maybe you find a way of “Okay, I know that, I’m probably going to feel that I’m far away from my family when I’m there, so I’m going to make sure that twice a year we meet up in Arizona. Or I’m going to make sure that we, from the very beginning, have really great communication or whatever it is” instead of ignoring that fear, you’re finding a solution for it. So maybe that decision is still the same but you’re able to help, kind of coat around it to make it feel in your highest alignment.
So, if we keep ignoring these concerns, they’re going to keep showing up for us. And when we go into them, they actually help us; we actually find our way through them and then they’re no longer issues for us.
So, in my examples, that issue I had around my dad; the issue I had around moving, is no longer an issue for me because I’ve thought my way through it.
Now, this does require you to have clarity over mind, this is extremely important. If you are in an anxious, overwhelmed, chaotic state, you’re not going to be able to think your way through it, and see it clearly, and see the options and possibilities for you because you’re so emotionally overcharged at this time. So this is why practices, meditation, breath-work, exercising, going for walks, listening to Podcasts like this, reading spiritual books, just lying down on the floor, plants, animals, all of these things are essential because they give you more clarity over mind. Even just like taking a pause like we did at the beginning of this Podcast – to sit down and breathe and exhale.
I love the practice of shaking, just to shake your body and to release any stagnant energy that you’re holding onto.
I know for me, I’ve been doing more intense cardio exercises, jumping jacks, burpees, because I felt like I’ve had a bit of anxious, extra fire energy on me that has needed to be released. And once I’m able to put that fire out within, I’m able to put out the fire without, which are the perceived fires in my life and surrounding.
So, this is your invitation to first get into that place of clarity and then to, in a safe way, go into what that fear, that negative thought, is and see your way through. And then, of course, if you’re seeing that this is actually a big mountain; a big mountain of healing etc., find a professional. I did family constellation; I did some sessions to do some work around my dad (which was extremely helpful); maybe see a Therapist; maybe you see a Shaman, a Breath-Work Teacher, whatever that might look like for you. But sometimes these underlying fears are really the tip of the iceberg and there’s this bigger issue underneath it, and that doesn’t mean we should run away from it, but that means that thank Goddess that it’s showing up for in this way so you can do that healing work, see your way though; and then that iceberg really just becomes ice-cream (just thought of that right now, that’s funny).
But let that iceberg become ice-cream! Because then it’s no longer this big scary thing that’s going to sink your Titanic, it’s delicious, it’s part of you. And then it’s not intimidating anymore; the cold and the frigidity of it is actually your own sense of taste, it’s your own sense of yumminess and you see “Oh, yeah, I was born into that; I did have that childhood; I did have that fear and I’ve overcome it, and now it’s ice-cream.”
So, I really feel like we’re all moving through so much right now, and if we’re able to really find clarity of mind, see our way through it, not bypass, not run away, we’re going to be able to really make these shifts in our lives that are going to bring us to more Truth, more Clarity, more Dharma, more Purpose, more Joy, more Fun, more Freedom, more Expression, all of the things that our Soul is seeking are really just on the other side of the things that we are the most afraid of.
So this is your invitation, this week, right now, right after this – write down, maybe it’s one thing, one thing that has been showing up for you recently, a fear, a concern, an anxiety, and look at it as if you were looking at a friend’s issue; or you are a Psychologist; or a Therapist or something, for someone else, and kind of try to take out the emotionality of it all and just sort of list out “Okay, here’s the fear” maybe you’re under it “Okay, where does this come from?” and then under it you write a couple other categories “Okay, it comes from here and it comes from here” and you write “Here’s some potential solutions.” Sometimes it does take looking at things from a bit of this more analytical perspective because from there we’re able to see things a bit more clearly, and then our heart can look at the options available for us and be like “Hmm, this feels like home!” So it’s always this balance; it’s this balance between the Heart and the Third Eye of using your intuition but also feeling through it.
So right now, a lot of us are in that Shadow of the emotions of just like the complete overwhelm, so let yourself have that balance of “Okay, bring it into the Third Eye; be a little bit more – seeing it from this higher birds-eye perspective” and then feel into it, bring in that Kapha Energy of “Now that I know everything, I know everything is out on the table; all my fears and concerns” just like if you were to get married or something, you would write down “Okay, well, here are some of my concerns in this relationship” and then once you’re able to see your way through it, you can step forward and say “Even though I know everything that I’m afraid of, I’m stepping forward!” Whereas if you ignored it, you’re like “Oh my God, I love you and everything’s perfect” – well those marriages end up not working because you didn’t look at what was – you know, those fears that you have, even if you’re in denial of it, it’s those pings; it’s those little things that you’re like “Well, what about this? What about that?” and that doesn’t mean that you’re not grateful or you’re a bad person; that means there’s something there. And sometimes, like I said, going through that something there might lead you to the same decision that you originally made, however, you must go through it so you can feel clear; you can feel sure; you can feel authentic – “I know everything that’s on the table and I’m still moving forward!”
So I hope this is helpful for you at this time, let me know if these Solocasts of me just sort of channeling what the Collective Needs is helpful for you; share this on your Instagram. I’m going to be doing some giveaways of my new Journal – my Yogic Path Reflective Journal which I’m so super-excited about. It has all of my own personal morning and nightly practices from Scheduling Your Days with the Doshas; Menstrual Cycle Tracking and how it’s related to the Doshas; Moon Cycles; Intentions; Gratitude; Affirmations. Each month is themed with a different card from my Oracle Card Deck at Yogic Paths; we got Goddesses; Karma; Dharma; Kria; so many beautiful topics with journal prompts, oracle spreads and it’s super-easy – it just takes 5 minutes a day to fill everything out, and trust me, when you start checking in with yourself on a morning and nightly basis, everything like this becomes so much more clear to you.
So, I’m going to be giving away 3 copies. All you’ve got to do is share this Podcast; share maybe 3 takeaways or what you took out of this Episode; how it’s helped you.
This is how we spread the word. I really believe that right now, this is the time that we are each becoming our own TV stations; our own Media; our own everything; and we get to share more positive Media out there in the world than negative, because there’s enough of the people sharing the negative, and we need more people “Okay, here’s how you can take what’s happening in the world and see your way through” soyou ever know who it could help.
So, please share it on your Instagram Story; tag me at @iamsahararose to win a Journal, and I am soul excited to meet you in my Membership Community Rose Gold Goddesses – the link for that is in the show notes.
Thank you for incarnating on the Planet at the same time as me, it’s a wild ride, but we chose this time for a reason, and I trust that we will see the New Earth in this lifetime.
If you loved this Episode, I would love to send you a free gift which is the first half of my unreleased book “Eat Right for Your Mind Body Type“. This is a different book than “Eat Feel Fresh“. My first book ever which is not released anywhere, and I am gifting it exclusively to those who leave a review of my Podcast in the iTunes store. So all you’ve got to do is head over to iTunes where you’re maybe listening to this podcast and leave a review, take a screenshot that you’ve left it and email it over to me at [email protected] and I will send you back the first half of my unreleased book “Eat Right for Your Mind Body Type“, which goes all into Ayurveda, Doshas, Plant-Based Nutrition, Body Types – all of the things in a really fun and engaging way. So this is my gift to you for free for supporting the Podcast. Every single review I personally read. It really helps the Podcast be listened to by more people so we can raise the vibration of the planet together, and I am soul grateful to have you on this journey.
Thank you so much for listening and I’ll see you on the next episode. Namaste.
Episode 315: Why You Shouldn’t Always Think Positively
By Sahara Rose