The word “spiritual bypass” has been coming up a lot with recent events and I wanted to dedicate a podcast all about what this word means. As a spiritual teacher with an activist background, I have observed personally how many people learning about spirituality take concepts like “oneness” or “the universe has your back” to bypass over real life occurrences and social justice issues. I share my experience with spiritual bypass and how you can know if you are spiritual bypassing today. No judgement—just knowledge!
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Episode 295: How To Know If You’re Spiritual Bypassing with Sahara Rose
By Sahara Rose
Namaste. It’s Sahara Rose and welcome back to the Highest Self podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you, your soul’s highest evolvement.
How’s this week feeling for you? I’m feeling it’s a little energetically lighter, you know. The last two weeks have been the beginning of the plant-medicine ceremony where you’re like “What’s happening; Who am I; What exists?” And now we’re slowly starting to come back on ground, and looking at, ok, what are the actual changes that I get to make in my life; in my business; in my choices; in my social circles; whatever it is.
Because it’s not just about, you know, putting a black box, being in solidarity and moving on with your life. It’s how can we make this change an integral part of our life – a life that is more diverse; a life that is more filled with love; a life that does not bypass. The injustices that are happening right underneath our noses.
So if you don’t know about me – I am an author, a podcast host, a spiritual teacher. I have a membership community, I’m all about helping people embody their highest selves and honor the goddess within, and find their Dharmas through their Doshas and integrating the mind-body connections; all of these beautiful, spiritual mind-body balancing things. And my background is in being an activist, you know. I’ve been an activist my whole life.
My family members, who I won’t name, were illegal immigrants; they were refugees; they were political prisoners. I have dealt with racism and all sorts of things into my life, which lead to me being an activist starting with the Amnesty International Chapter, organizing many protests, doing a lot of volunteering work with different NGO’s, and actually going to school to become an international human rights lawyer, And in that experience while volunteering in India I became very ill and that’s how I discovered Ayurveda, and realized that I wanted to help people in this way of healing and connecting to their bodies.
But that activist side of me has always been there and is one of the archetypes in times like this come extremely alive. So I’m kind of like at that intersection where spirituality and dance and fun meets activism and actually doing things to change the world. And since the beginning of this podcast, I’ve been bringing up topics like spiritual materialism, and self-care as a way to also, maybe, not look at ways of being service to others and kind of looking at the spiritual community, and maybe the shadow aspect that we don’t look at; and surprisingly enough I have not yet done a podcast episode on spiritual bypass, and I really wanted to do one because it’s something that we are experiencing a lot right now; we hearing a lot right now.
And I know that for some of you this work is new, some of you have heard the word before, maybe you would like a refresh or maybe a deeper understanding of what it means and what it really looks like. So that’s why I wanted to record this episode.
So, I first heard the word ‘spiritual bypass’ about six years ago when I was living in Bali and I had never heard it before, I was, you know, very deep into my journey of finding myself etc. And kind of trying to figure out like – how can I help the world and help others while still living a balanced life, while still not being burnt out and I was kind of struggling with that.
You know, my whole identity was to become this international human rights lawyer and then after experiencing all these different health issues and burning myself out. I didn’t know if there was a way, I thought maybe you have to choose yourself or choose the world, like I thought that I either had to become Mother Teresa or the total opposite, and I was having a really hard time on trying to integrate both.
And I noticed something in Bali which I’ve talked about on the podcast before, but there were a lot of people who were all about the yoga, all about the green juice all, about the Kundalini, all about these amazing things. And the moment somebody would bring something up that wasn’t, you know, super-high vibrational, super, you know, what you would be repeating as an affirmation. People would shut it down, people would get very defensive and a clear example of this was – We were at extatic dance, and an extatic dance is a cathartic free form of dance that I am so passionate about and now teach and facilitate. The extatic dance in Ubud, Bali is incredible. So we were at extatic dance and in the end people can go up and share a gift – they can share a song, a poem, just a word of gratitude, whatever it is, to close out the circle. It’s almost like a little talent show.
So, a friend of mine who was the black male, who, there weren’t that many of in Bali, went up and shared a spoken word poem that he wrote about the war happening between Israel and Palestine, and how so many people are losing their lives, and just, you know, really speaking into what’s happening and how we need more love and humanity. And people in the circle began booing him – Booh, Booh, – get that low vibration out of here, get that out of the space, we just danced, you’re toxifying the space. Booing him off. And I was shook at that. At how can these people be so high-visioned, so spiritual, so about oneness – But when the even mere mention of war, poverty, injustice, suffering – comes up, suddenly their spirituality is so fragile that that throws them off vibe. And “Oh my god, they need to get that person away from them. That person is the problem. “
So, I noticed that there’s something to this here, and I learnt the word ‘spiritual bypass’ and I was like “Ahhh, that makes sense.“ So the word spiritual bypass means to use spiritual terms to bypass challenges, real life occurrences or how someone else feels. So it was coined by psychologist John Welwood in 1984, and he wrote “Spiritual bypassing is a term I coined to describe a process I saw happening in the Buddhist community I was in, and also in myself. Although most of us were sincerely trying to work on ourselves, I noticed a widespread tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds and unfinished developmental tasks.”
Let that sink in. So, essentially we learn about spirituality, we learn about concepts like ‘Oneness’, like the universe always has your back, like ‘Empathy’ – being an empath, that, you know, we are souls without bodies, we learn about these concepts which are true, which are true, and they don’t give us the full picture. They are the Absolute Truth. So absolute truths are – We are all one. The truth is – Yes – on the highest, highest level and dimension we are all one, there’s no difference between you, me, the homeless person, the king – there’s no difference between all of us on the highest level. But clearly we can see that here, on this planet, we have differences.
So, often, people would say something like – “We are all one; I don’t see color; I don’t even see what racism means because, you know, my spectrum is so high vibe that I don’t even see that; I didn’t even notice that you’re black; I didn’t even notice that you were Middle-Eastern; I didn’t even notice you’re Asian; because I only see souls.
While that might sound really nice, it actually is negating a person of color’s experience because when you’re telling them that you don’t see color, you’re essentially telling them that you don’t see them. And also, even if you were technically colorblind you still would be able to tell what ethnicity someone comes from, and that’s ok. It’s not better to pretend that you don’t see it, you know, it’s like if someone’s bleeding, and I like “I don’t see blood, you know, it’s not on my vibration,“ that’s not going to help because that person is suffering at that moment and right now we’re hearing very loudly that our black brothers and sisters are suffering right now. So telling them “I don’t even see color“ – is telling them “I don’t see your experience.“
So, we are using an absolute truth such as ‘Oneness’ to bypass the relative truth. The relative truth is that – we are here, on this Earth, in these human bodies, having these human experiences so we can learn, so we can experience duality, so we can live in contrast, so we can also fulfil our Dharmas and embody joy and be of service. It’s not one or the other, it’s the totality of it all. There are the spectrums of it all, it’s not “We are just one”, yes it’s one, and we have different desires and we have different backgrounds, and we have different goals, and we have different soul contracts, and we have different everything too.
And that’s beautiful. And I can see your differences and still honor you. I don’t have to pretend they don’t exist for me to uphold my spiritual beliefs. So the absolute truths are these over centric terms that make sense. Like yes, the universe has your back, the universe is here to support us. However, we are the universe you know, like Deepak’s book “You Are The Universe”. So, if the universe is here to help everyone and if the universe is here to support us, if the universe always, unconditionally, you know, here to propel our development, and you are universe – then what does that mean?
That means that you are the person who will create the change, that you are the person who will help uplevel humanity, not this mysterious being called Universe – is out there, like, doing all the work and get to just sit back and relax and suddenly, you know, the kids in the cages at the Mexican border are going to be freed, you know, like, that’s not how it works. That’s actually a way of bypassing, because we’re not willing to look at the fact that we are here on this planet – meaning we have Karma to play out; meaning that we have a responsibility in being here, meaning that it is going to require us to take action for this change to be done – relative truth.
Another big one I see is saying “Oh well, I’m an empath, I’m an empath, so I just take on too many people’s emotions, so I can’t know about what’s happening in the world, please don’t even tell me”. Like the example of the circle net person, like “Don’t bring it here”. Probably if you talk to him he’d say “I’m an empath, so even if I hear about this, it will just throw me off”.
What I’m seeing, and I’m going to call it out, is that people are using the word ‘empath’ to make it ok for them to not have strong boundaries. And to also make it ok for them to not look at things that don’t make them feel good. Because the truth is, and I’ve done a podcast on this, we’re all empaths. If you are a human being, you are an empath.
A part of being a human is to have empathy. We all feel things, we all, when we see someone cry, it makes us wanna cry; when we see someone angry it gets us maybe in a state of rage or fear. It’s called being a human. It’s not like this weird thing that only a select crew of empaths have, like, it’s called being a human. And the more you open up your heart, through dance, through music, through sound, through meditation – then you’re going to start to feel more and more and more.
However, this isn’t an excuse to stop helping people, you know, if you look at the people who we would say have helped so many, again, using Mother Teresa as an example, I’m sure Mother Teresa was an empath, and did that stop her from helping, you know, the lepers in India; Or so many people whose names we don’t even know that are out there, that are helping so many people – They’re empaths and that’s why they’re helping other people, they are not using it as way, as a shield to protect themselves from the sorrows and the suffering that are happening in the world.
You know, the original Buddha said himself that – “Until all beings are free of suffering, none of us are truly free”. Because again, if you want to keep up with absolute truths; if we are all one – that means if our brother and sister is suffering, that is a part of our suffering. And that means there’s a role in us being involved, even if we were not necessarily the ones to have caused it.
It means, being, sometimes, the bigger person and cleaning up a mess that you were not involved in, you know, like the people who go to a war-torn village and they were not the perpetrators who burned it down, but they are the ones who are building it up.
And I’m seeing a lot of spiritual people use this “Oh well, you know what, someone else is going to take care of it, I’m too much of an empath, I’m only here to like, hold the vibration, but someone else is gonna take all the action”.
And while I do agree that we all have different roles to play, and yes – there are some people that are going to be on the ground; and yes – there are some people who are going to be maybe passing the laws; and yes – there are going to be some people who are creating the businesses; and yes – there are going to be some people who are praying and meditating.
However, we all get to take action towards the cause.
Again, the part of being a monk, the part of being any kind of spiritual practice – is to be of service. That’s actually the main part of it. But for some reason, in the spiritual trend that is happening, we’re like taking the parts that we want, like, you can manifesting all this money and your dream man and all of these things but we like, forgot the whole part that it’s to help humanity. That part’s not too sexy.
We forget about the part that all of us are here on this planet to make the world a better place.
So if you are on this planet, there’s no fucking coincidence; you still got some karma to clear, so get your sleeves up and be of service because your service is the highest form of alignment that you can feel.
And if you want to help yourself, if you want to feel good, if you want to actually heal – be of service. I guarantee you a day of getting out of your own stories, and going out and helping someone else, will heal you more than any green juice will. And I’ll say that again and again, and louder and louder for the people in the back, because we’re all looking, we’re looking – how I can truly be happy; how can I truly live my purpose; how can I truly embody joy – be of service!
Share your gifts; help others; help others who are.., you might not be perfect but if hurt is not in the state you are in, if you have any form of healing, then you can help someone who has a little bit less right now.
Because we are all on a spectrum, right, and at any given moment the spectrum is changing, maybe sometimes I can use your support and the other times you could use mine.
But it’s important for us to keep raising each other up, keep taking each other by the hand, not bypass and say “Well the universe is going to get your hand, because you know, the universe is always there” Who the fuck’s the universe?
You are! You are!
So that means you take that person by the hand. And that does not mean that you have to take every single person that needs help; and you personally have to be the one who helps them; but doesn’t mean you say “Oh well, you know what, I signed this petition once and I’m good”.
That’s that spiritual bypass.
So, I wrote a list that I posted on my Instagram of common spiritual bypassing that I personally see. And this is not a tool for you to judge others, ok. Because what I’m seeing a lot happening right now, are people on spiritual high horses who are essentially spreading toxicity, by trying to call out others by trying to name them and taking them down. And I really dislike this call-out culture because what they don’t understand they are doing is actually perpetuating the fear – the very thing that they are trying to alleviate – the fear, the suffering, the division – you’re creating more of it by trying to call someone out and tear them down.
Yes, it is important to call someone forth if they’re not being in alignment, but this is not about deciding who is spiritual bypassing in your life. This is not about judging anyone else. If you are still in that place of judging, you’re not doing the work. You might notice in other people, you might see a tinge of spiritual bypass, but it’s not your job to now tear them down and make a video about why they are spiritually bypassing.
Because, then you’re bypassing yourself and your own reflection, and your own ability to create positive change towards what you want. Ok, so, when I read this list, don’t be like, “I’m gonna tag all the people in my story and tell them they’re spiritually bypassing.” This is for you to acknowledge in yourself, and if you are seeing this with someone that your friends with, family member, someone that you actually know, you can send them a personal message and let them know, in a loving way. But it is important not to attack other people because what this world needs right now is not more attacking, it needs more coming together and having actually educated conversations so we can create a better future rather than just screaming and tearing each other down without no clear gender or plan of how we’re gonna create a better world forward, ok.
So, examples of spiritual bypass you could also find on my Instagram – @IamSaharaRose.
– Avoiding reality and what’s happening in the world;
– Deflecting any conversation that makes you feel uncomfortable or doesn’t fit into your spiritual ideals;
– Seeing yourself as a chosen one. And again, we’re all, every human alive here is the chosen one, but I’m not talking about ones, I’ve seen them a lot in LA who are like “I am Jesus reincarnated, I know the way”, the cult leader types; the types who think they have something special but no one else has, and everyone should only listen to them – that’s what I’m talking about here, because we’re all chosen – that’s why we’re here on the planet.
– Pretending to be happy when you are not. Ok, so this doesn’t mean that every time someone is happy they’re spiritual bypassing. Someone might genuinely be happy you know. I was like, really happy during the quarantine because I loved quarantine, I love being at home, I love dancing, I love painting, so I actually liked the quarantine. And someone was like, “How are you dancing all the time and being so happy, you’re spiritual bypassing.“ And I actually wasn’t, I was just not in the same state as they were. So, again, this is a show that, spiritual bypassing is not going to look the same for everyone else. What it does mean is, you are pretending to be happy when you are not. Ok, so, if you’re actually sad, but putting on a happy face, you’re saying “Everything’s great; I’m so happy; the kids are great; I’m loving this quarantine“ – and you’re not – then that is spiritual bypassing.
– Another one is pretending everything is love and light when it’s not. Yes, we all our love; yes we all are light, that is true. However, not everything on the planet has that unconditional love quality. There are many injustices happening that are in no way love and light. From, again, the kids in the cages at the Mexican border, the sex trafficking, the human trafficking. There are some deep, dark shadows that will continue to be revealed over 2020 and beyond. You know the biggest Holocaust that has ever happened, no one even talks about it, it was in the Congo, 15 to 30 million people killed. You know, like, war is happening right now in the Middle East, people in Syria, who haven’t been able to live in peace for so long, whose entire villages are destroyed. Like, there is some deep, heavy, dark shit and if you want to put your hands over your ears and go ‘la la la’, then, in a way, you are part of the problem. And what that means is you are a part of the problem again doesn’t mean that you were the one who bombed Syria.
But what it does mean is you are aware that that is happening; you are aware of all of the different causes happening and have chosen to not take action in any. So, if you see someone abusing a child right, and you decide to turn your eyes the other way, because, you know, you just don’t want to get between it and you don’t do politics; and you don’t really know what’s going on with the mom and you’d rather just not. Then in a way you are a part of that child suffering because you witnessed it and you didn’t do anything about it. So, a lot of people get triggered “Well, I didn’t cause it, I signed the petition, so why is neutrality; why am I a part of the oppressor?” It’s because you had awareness and still chose not to do anything.
– So, the next one is, like, I mentioned using the term empath to make yourself a victim and blame other people for how you feel. So, again, I see a lot of people saying “Well I’m an empath, so, that person was so angry and just totally threw me off that week, or, you know, all of these horrible, a demon possessed me and that’s why this. And again, it may be true and may not be true. I am not one to judge, however, what I do know is that often people use this term to negate their personal sovereignty and personal responsibility. That you actually are the only one who has control over how you feel. That no one can put black magic on you; can possess you; whatever it is; make you feel low vibe. Because you have control over your emotional state at all times. You know, looking at the Tibetan monks, who are literally being killed by the Chinese government, remain in Sadhna, in meditation to that level.
So, that does not mean that, you know, there are definitely some people who can be low vibrational; who can even be toxic in your life. However, to not take action and to just say “Well, I’m an empath” and not really confront the issue – whether you need to step away from personal issue – whether you need to end relationship or block this person, whatever it is; but to just call yourself an empath and use that to play this victim role, to use that to play that ‘la la la’ don’t tell me what’s happening in the Middle East. That is just not having strong enough emotional boundaries to sit with the pain and suffering of this world we live in dualistic plain, we’re here on this planet to experience that all.
So, yes, let yourself be an empath, let yourself have those times when you cry, and you scream, and you shout, and you dance, and you feel it all. But also find the strength within you because the Goddess is every reflection and she is Quan Yin – Goddess of Compassion and Forgiveness, as much as she is Durga – Goddess of Strength, Courage, the Warrioress.
So, maybe, you have really been sitting with one side of yourself and you’ve been really identifying with this empath side of you. Well maybe it’s time for you to embody with your fear self. You know, this month in Rose Gold Goddesses we’re working with Sekhmet – who is the Egyptian Goddess of transformation, the lioness, destruction, chaos, healing, you know, more of that fire energy.
So, if you are going around living life blaming others for how you feel and saying “Oh well it’s because I’m an empath“, you my friend are spiritual bypassing.
– So, the next one is – thinking you’re super-spiritual because you’ve done a bunch of psychedelics. I mean, I think enough is said right there. I do think psychedelics can really open up pathways. I have done psychedelics before, and I don’t think that it is the way, the one and only way, to spirituality. I think it can open up portals, but it’s important for you to actually do the work because we were born here in this plain for a reason because we were meant to experience life from these eyes, and this body, and this setting.
So, if you keep on having to leap your body to have a spiritual experience, well, you’re kind of your kind of taking this…Ok, imagine there’s this building, right. You’re jumping up to the top of the building and then you’re having this experience, and you’re seeing the sacred geometry – “Oh my god, we’re all one; Oh my god“, and then the psychedelic wears off and you’re back to the bottom again, ok. How can you get back on top? You didn’t build a pathway, you don’t have a ladder there, you don’t have practices to get you there are. So, you have to keep taking the psychedelic to get you to experience it and when you’re not on the psychedelic, it’s not there. And the thing that you can see is, is your life in alignment with that? Have you made changes in your life? Does your career; your relationships; your friendships; your home; your financials; everything line up with someone who would be in this five-dimensional, seventh-dimensional state? You know, I see a lot of people who take psychedelics constantly.
But their lives don’t change. So what is the point of ‘oh wow, then I saw this’, and then you’re not making any actual changes in your life. So again, it’s not that psychedelics are wrong, I’ve experienced them. It is that it is not how to get super-spiritual; there’s no quick fix. And that is why the Vedic approach is actually not for psychedelics. People ask me all the time – “What does Ayurveda say about Iowaska, weed even.“ Ayurveda and the Vedas are not for substances in general because they believe that you should be building your pathway. I believe, you know, we are in a different time, there are some sadhus that smoke hash but they are a different sect. What is important though, is you integrating into your life. Right, it’s all about the embodiment, not just the tangible information; not just the fleeting experience, but it’s about the embodiment of it. Without the embodiment, nothing else matters.
– The next one, I’ve seen this a lot, is – looking outside yourself with astrology instead of making your own decisions. So, again, astrology is definitely real; there is so much wisdom in astrology; I’ve had Vedic and Western astrologers on this podcast. I love human design. And what I see is people essentially let go of their sovereignty sometimes. They let astrology affect them so much that they are lost without it. They can’t make their own decision; they can’t; they lost their ability to essentially be a free being in charge of their willpower because they have to defer everything into astrology. You know, like, I had this person who said that she thought that she was like, an Aries, and because of what – Vedic astrology she found out she was a Pisces and it basically like transformed her whole entire life and I was like “Why did your sign even dictate your whole entire life to begin with? You know, like, you shouldn’t be making actual life choices based off of what your sign necessarily is. Make it based off how you feel, let your sign inform it; but to be like “I have to end this relationship because our signs are not compatible; I have to only submit my paper on this day because that’s the day, if I don’t do it another day it’s not going to work, or “Oh my god, this.“
And, you know, like, all the people who thought the world was going to end 2012. Like, I’m seeing this movement and is awakening again, and the world is going to end in 2020 in the eyes of some people. And what is it doing? It’s actually creating more fear; more fear with this like conscience lens of like “Well, it’s because of astrology, oh it’s because I read this YouTube video that told me.“ And it’s giving into fear; and if it’s giving into fear, it’s not actually spirituality, it’s another Doomsday prediction. So, again, the world might end, I could be wrong, but I don’t want to live my life prepping and planning yet in this fear- like state based off of what an astrologer or someone told me. Ok, so, listen to it if you want, but also your sovereign being.
– So, the next one is – looking for a sign rather than taking ownership that you create your own reality. So, same thing, the people who are like “God, should I do this or that give me a sign”. And I’ve definitely done that too. But if you don’t get your sign are you not going to do the thing? You know, like – What if the sign never shows up for you; What if it shows up for you 3 years from now? You know it’s not so simple of show me the sign. Shows up right before you. So, people do this as a way to give up their control. You know, it’s no different than giving up your control to the church. Now people giving up control to the signs. It’s a continuation of realizing that you not realizing that you’re not the universe; not realizing that you are the creatrix of your reality and you can actually create a sign with the power of your mind. You know, you’re actually more likely to like, telepathically put that sign out there than to like wait for…like, signs happen, numbers happen, these things happen. And let that happen, and let yourself receive them, but it’s living your life based off of a sign, and not actually going with what you believe or what you desire. And it’s kind of deferring it to the sign that when it can actually become harmful because you are not taking action. And remember, you are the Goddess, you are the creatrix, and if you stop taking action, your life is going to remain stagnant, in fact, move behind.
– So, the next one is – thinking that a Guru, a saint or a teacher, has all the answers .The word guru in Sanskrit does mean teacher so … the word guru in India, it doesn’t have this negative context that it has in the US. Something about the American culture though, has taken this concept of guru, and taken one person and put them on a pedestal. I believe it is because of our celebrity culture. We love to put one person, one figure, on this pedestal, and whatever they say we worship, we listen to – they’re the Messiah. And, you know, I think this is always existed in American culture, and probably in other cultures too, but like, Marilyn Monroe, you know, The Beatles; The Kardashians, whoever it is. No one person has all the answers and we have seen how actually harmful it can be when this one person creates a cult. That, that dictates different people’s experiences. You know there’s different Netflix documentaries on these if you want to dive into them. So, it’s not to say that even these people like, Osho for example. I’ve been to an Osho Ashram in India, I went to a dance festival there, I didn’t become an asin and join the community but I went to a week-long dance festival and I observed it. And I’ve read Osho books and he has a lot of wisdom for sure, he wouldn’t have gotten so famous if he hadn’t, you know and that’s the one thing that the Netflix show didn’t share; they did not share all of the wisdom that he had. However, would I put him up as my guru; give up all of my desires and be at his feet and do whatever the hell he wants and become his Sheila – Hell-to-the-fuck-no! I am a sovereign being; No one person has the answers. And if you give one person all of your power, often times what happens is that person becomes corrupt. And the truth is, everyone is your guru. I am your guru, you are your guru, your mom is your guru, your friend is your guru, your mailbox guy is your guru, everyone is your guru if you allow them to be. So, it’s when we take one person – “He says this – so I will do this, whatever you say I will do; Oh my god, you are my Lord, you are my Savior. “ Including me guys, I am not your guru. And I know Tony Robbins’ documentary is called that, so. I don’t mean it in terms of his brand but I’m telling you for real – I am not your guru, I am learning things all the time; and no one whoever tells you, “I’m your guru” is your guru. So, let’s stop putting any one person on a pedestal and realize everyone is a human, everyone has desires, and mistakes, and fears and all of the things you learn from them, you can love them, and they can make mistakes and that doesn’t mean that they are a horrible human being either. But if you put them on this pedestal to think that they’re all so righteous and you see the human side of them, then you’re in for a trip because you’re going to see every single person you’ve ever put on a life pedestal is going to disappoint you. Ok.
– So, the next one is – thinking if you just send prayers and meditate the issue will go away. Again, prayers and meditation can definitely help. There is a great amount of power in doing a global meditation and all of us joining forces. You know, I love if someone says, if I’m going through something, and a friend says “I’m praying for you”. I love that, thank you. Meditation and prayer are very powerful. And, let’s use the example again of – there’s child being abused, right. If you see this child is being abused right before you and instead of stopping the abuser or getting someone who could stop the abuser, just taking action in this situation. If you were just like, go to sleep that day and ”I pray that child gets the strength within them to run away from their abuser.” Then the issue is not going to go away, let’s be real, you know. The issue is not going to go away because that’s going to require that very person, who is doing the abusing, to have the realization; the abuser themself is the one that needs to be doing the meditation and the prayer. You can’t mind control them to stop. And especially if someone’s in a state that they are abusive, they’re not even picking up what their own spirit guides are saying; they are not even picking up on their own intuition; they are so far gone from their inner voice. So, we can all definitely, in situations that we feel helpless. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just to pray and meditate because it’s a helpless situation, right. Something like Coronavirus – there is no real action that we can take, so we can all meditate and pray. However, when there is something that bears a direct action to take, a person is suffering; a person is hungry; a person is in prison; a person is whatever – we can pray and meditate, and take action. And what the prayer meditation does – it actually gets us back into an alignment so we can take the proper action. Because if I’m coming from a state of complete out of alignment, the action that I might be taking is one that is out of sheer anger and violence, you know. I might just be very, very triggered, I might have my own trauma, I might have all of these suppressed emotions that I’m taking out. I am seeing this happen a lot of on social media right now. So, get into alignment, pray, meditate, do your practice, whatever it is. And, take action on this physical plain; get involved; call; volunteer; write; raise awareness, whatever that looks like for you. But, thoughts and prayers are not enough. They are the starting point and sometimes they are all we have. But, in many situations there is a direct action that we can take to help alleviate that person’s suffering.
-So, the last one is – pointing fingers at someone else rather than taking responsibility. “Well if she wasn’t so aggressive, I wouldn’t feel like this”, “Well if they weren’t so ignorant, I wouldn’t feel like that”, “Well if they weren’t so triggering..” etc. It’s essentially saying, again, someone else has more power over how I feel myself. Which is untrue, you’re telling yourself a lie. It’s easier for us to blame someone else – “Why did you say this; Why did you do that?” and especially on social media, It’s just kind of fucking ridiculous because you cannot follow someone, if someone is bothering you so much just don’t follow them, you know. But it’s this pointing fingers that we see, and sometimes we’re doing it in the name of thinking we’re being helpful; thinking that we are a part of this cancel culture thing; and it’s actually not helping. Instead, when we point a finger at someone else, we’re pointing three fingers at ourselves, right. So, what can I do? What is coming up within me that I can heal: Is this person of reflection of me, of something I have overlooked? Is this person triggering something in me that might still be unhealed? Is this person exhibiting something inside of themselves that I know I have in myself but I have not fully stepped into, so, I am being triggered by them because they have stepped into something that I have, yet not. You know, there are so many nuances behind you feeling triggered by someone; and if all you do is get mad at them and gang up on their stories, or gang up on whatever it is, then you’re not actually helping, because you’re not doing the work. So, every time anyone triggers me in any way, I say “What is this teaching me right now, you know?” Is it an aspect of myself that I have overlooked? Is it an aspect of me that I have not fully owned? It’s always in the shadows, right? The shadows are the parts of you that you are not as willing to look at because they can be triggering your jealousy, your sadness, your anger, your trauma, your fear, your unresolved past etc. So, when we spiritual bypass, it is mostly because these things, these shadows are showing up for ourselves and it’s too painful for us to look at it, and it’s much easier for us to use spiritual terminology, ideas or point the finger, rather than doing the work within.
So, we have all, you know, done of these in our lives, you know. I know, myself, when I was moving from my activist space to my spiritual space, I definitely, you know, spent some years.., like, some of those years I was much less of activist than I really could be.
Because, I was, you know, I was trying to figure out – is the universe just going to help them; I mean, is this just he lifetime they were born into; they chose this body and are they just supposed to be suffering. So, I was like, learning these spiritual ideas and trying to figure out how did they make sense; if that person is in pain, and they chose their lifetime – does that mean they chose a lifetime of pain and this is just their karma and I shouldn’t get messed up.
And that is not looking at the full picture. Because we were all born here with soul contract to each other, right. So, let’s say that someone did choose a lifetime that they were abused; that they have gone through tremendous trauma and pain, right. Let’s say that they chose that in their lifetime. They wanted to learn strength; they wanted to learn forgiveness: they wanted to learn sovereignty etc.
Does that mean that the social worker should have not come into their house and helped them when they were getting abused, because, you know – this is what their lifetime is all about?
Does that mean their school teacher that saw them coming in with bruises on their face should have said “I don’t know, they chose that body, so I’m just gonna let them keep going, hopefully the universe protects them”. That would be ridiculous to even think. But when we put it in this context, we’re like, “Of course it’s ridiculous and why do we live our lives like this?” That social worker had a soul contract with that child to help them; that teacher saw that child bruised for no reason, because they had a role to change it.
So, whatever suffering that is showing up before you, whatever suffering that you were born into – that is not a coincidence here. That is because it is part of your Dharma. To help; be of service in this way. So, for me, being born into patriarchy; being born into child marriage. This is a huge part of what I’m doing here. I am always the first person to protect the children; the girls from sex trafficking; from all of the things involved with that, because that’s what my lineage has been through.
So, for you it might be addiction, you’ve grown up in a family with addicts and you know what it’s like inside the mind of an addict because your mom was one. This allows you to have the clearest education on what addiction can look like because you love a person with an addiction. So, this may be part of your Dharma.
Maybe it’s poverty, maybe you crossed the border, maybe you experienced police brutality, Maybe you experienced lack of education, maybe you grew up in a cult, whatever that was for you, that’s part of your Dharma. That wasn’t the thing that you just overcome and now you’ve done it and it’s all rainbows and butterflies. No! Now that you overcome it, you pass the torch; you bring down your hin and you pull up the people who are still going through it. That is being a true spiritual person.
So, I invite you to notice where the spiritual bypass shows up in your life and don’t judge yourself you know; we all do things for self-preservation; we all get overwhelmed by the sadness and darkness. And I’m not encouraging anyone to try to tackle every single problem in the world because you can’t, you are one person.
But, what is the thing that bothers you the most?
Is it animal cruelty?
Is it the environment?
Is it the injustice in the judicial system?
Is it cutting down the Amazon?
Is it the indigenous cultures being lost?
Is it the Native Americans?
Is it the genocides?
What is that thing that is so striking a cord that makes you so in pain that this is all happening in humanity, like you can’t believe it.
That is the thing that you are meant to help alleviate.
So let’s do our practices, let’s sing, let’s dance, let’s chant, let’s connect to our bodies, let’s experience joy, experience play, let’s us not forget about the blissful, beautiful parts of ourselves that makes us us, that make this lifetime, all be it dark, also so beautiful. And, let’s use that energy that we cultivate and change our mindset from me to we.
Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode
If you loved this episode, I would love to send you a free gift which is the first half of my unreleased book Eat Right for Your Mind Body Type. This is a different book than EatFeelFresh. My first book ever which is not released anywhere, and I am gifting it exclusively to those who leave a review of my podcast in the iTunes store. So all you gotta do is head over to the iTunes store where you’re maybe listening to this podcast and leave a review, take a screenshot that you’ve left it and email it over to me at [email protected] and I will send you the first half of my unreleased book Eat Right for Your Mind Body Type, which goes all into Ayurveda, Doshas, plant-based nutrition, and body types – all of the things in a really fun and engaging way. So this is my gift to you for supporting the podcast. Every single review I personally read. It really helps the podcast be listened to by more people so that we can raise the vibration of the planet together, and I am soul grateful to have you on this journey.
Thank you so much for listening and I’ll see you on the next episode. Namaste.
Episode 295: How To Know If You’re Spiritual Bypassing with Sahara Rose